I pause before my hand makes contact with the door handle and curse under my breath, withdrawing myself. A large part of me realizes that I'm really testing my boundaries and being careless but the smaller part of me—the one that's winning this internal war—is convincing me to go with it anyways.
Day by day I'm pushing it with Delilah and seeing how far I can push, how far she'll let me push her. Each day I do or say something that I know I shouldn't be but doing it anyways because I'm playing with temptation. What was it that I had said to Aria all those years ago? It was like watching a car wreck take place in slow motion. Except this time I'm most definitely in the driver's seat and I'm having way too much fun with speeding. There's underlying fear, sure, but the thrill of it wins out every time. There's something about Delilah that makes me want to be reckless. I feel greedy when it comes to her. I've spent nearly all of my life doing things for others but for the first time I want to do something for me. I want to be selfish, damn it. I just hope I don't hurt either of us in the process, no matter how inevitable it is. My stubbornness is definitely taking lead here. So I open the door to the library and saunter inside, acting more confident than I feel.
As soon as I spy her at the main desk hunched over and reading a book, her mouth moving slightly as she reads the words, something twists deep in my gut. Fuck, she's so beautiful. Her long blonde hair curtains part of her face and spills all over the desk and it looks so goddamn soft I want to wrap it around my fingers. She's wearing a plain white cotton shirt that's full-sleeved and is on the shorter side. Anytime she leans forward, the shirt rides up slightly to expose her smooth and pale midsection. Her jeans fit her snugly, showing off her long legs and shapely ass. She's slim and tall and so fucking gorgeous I think I might be drooling. I lift a hand to my mouth to check. Nope, all good.
"Hey." I say when I'm close enough that she'll hear me but it comes out more like a rasp so I clear my throat. Real fucking smooth, Nate.
She looks up from her book and her concentrated melts away, giving way to a soft smile. I almost groan. Fuck me. That smile is going to ruin my damn life. "Hey. You came."
"Of course." I jerk my chin towards the book. "What are you reading?"
"Making Faces by Amy Harmon." She picks it up and holds it to her chest. "It's such a beautiful story, Nate. It's like a modern day Beauty and the Beast with lots of twists. It's about a man from a small hometown who—"
She stops abruptly and presses her lips together before smiling sheepishly. "Sorry. I'm going to stop now before I talk your ear off."
"Why would you stop? I was just getting into it." I grin and try to make her feel as comfortable as possible. Delilah wasn't a huge talker to begin with and kept to herself as much as possible. If talking about books was the one way she'd open up to me and let me in to some part of her I'd definitely take it. I want to hear anything she was willing to tell me.
"Really?" She looks skeptical. "You want to hear about a romance novel?"
"You're forgetting I grew up with all sisters. I once had to shave Lexie's legs for a whole month when she broke her dominant arm and couldn't do it herself. Talking to you about a romance novel won't even make me blink."
A giggle bubbles out of her and she slips a hand over her mouth, her eyes twinkling. "This is a lot of free ammunition you're giving me. How do you know I won't use it against you?"
A slew of inappropriate images take over my mind at her innocent words and I can't help myself from teasing her. "Angel, you can use whatever you want against me, on me, or with me. Or all of the above."
Her hand drops and so does her mouth. Immediately a sweet blush takes over her face and I feel my lips curl up in response. So freaking beautiful.
"You're in a mood." She mumbles and I laugh. I like that she's dishing words back to me instead of running away from the conversation like she might have done months ago. I like that we're at that level now.
"I'm always in that mood." I tell her, bracing my forearms on the desk and leaning into her. She moves back but only slightly. Huh.
"That doesn't surprise me. You're like a flame and all women around you are moths."
"So you're saying I'm hot?"
"Amazing." She deadpans. "The only thing you caught on to."
"The only important thing." I correct and tap her nose. She scrunches it but the smile that follows tells me she doesn't mind.
"There you are!" A third voice interrupts. I turn my head and find my buddy Mark walking towards us. He's the reason I even started coming by this library only to discover Del works here. I've been a kiss-ass to him since out of gratitude and he busts my balls daily about it. I first hired him as a bartender at Aria but it just wasn't his thing. He's secretly a nerd and prefers a lowkey environment even though he'll never admit to it. We always stayed in touch once he quit because he was a cool guy and a good friend of mine. He was rowdy and entertaining as hell and I swear sometimes he reminds me of Lucas. "About time you showed your ugly face here. Can you go to the kids section and scare away the group of preteens that won't shut up?"
"You're horrible." Delilah smacks his arm and shakes her head disappointingly.
"Exactly." I nod. "I mean, we were just talking about how hot I am."
"Not that." She glares and I crack a grin against my better judgement. Feisty Angel was too damn irresistible. "What he said about those kids. Leave them alone."
"You defend them now but I had to yell at them for kicking the books." Mark crosses his arms expectantly and looks beyond smug when Delilah gasps in horror. "You see?"
"I better go have a word with them." She stomps off and I stare after her in amusement. She rarely gets riled up but when she does, there's a storm inside of her I'm not sure anyone can protect themselves against.
"Those poor kids." Mark echoes my thoughts and I snicker at the truth of his words. He looks at me and there's a hint of seriousness in his gaze. "Everything okay, man? I thought you and Del might be fighting. She's been really quiet this past month, too. More so than usual."
A little pang hits my chest at the thought of Delilah silently hurting and for probably the hundredth time since we made up, I give myself a verbal ass-kicking for not being there for her. "It's nothing. I just got busy training for pros and she has her own thing going on."
"Okay." He murmurs but it's clear he doesn't believe me. "But you'll let me know if you need anything?"
"Of course. Appreciate it, man."
"No worries." He pauses. "Also, it doesn't take a genius to figure out her and Chris broke up. I don't know if you've been trying to give her space these past couple of weeks or what but you know you have the opportunity to finally go for her, right?"
His words leave a bitter taste on my tongue. If only he knew. "I don't know. She's going through a lot and right now I'm just trying to be her friend." That, at least, is the truth.
He shrugs. "Just making sure you're keeping that in mind. Besides, if you won't go for her then I might."
"I didn't realize you had an interest in dying." I deadpan.
He bursts out laughing and claps me on the shoulder just as Delilah comes back into view and makes her way over to us. "You're so fucking gone for her. See you around, bro."
I grunt in response, plastering on a smile when Delilah reaches me. She flicks her eyes between us. "Everything okay?"
"Yup." I say. "Let's go."
She blinks at me. "Where are we going?"
"To lunch."
"And when did we make these plans, exactly?"
"Just now. Now, come on. You only have an hour."
"I still have five minutes left in my shift." She tries again and I raise my brow.
"Why are you making excuses?"
"I'm not. It's true!" She wrings her hands together. "I can't leave yet."
"Yes you can!" Mark hollers from behind a nearby bookshelf. Delilah shoots daggers at him with her eyes and he grins. "Have fun, kids."
She looks nervously to me again and I gesture my arm out in a "let's go" gesture.
"Fine." She sighs. "Let me grab my purse."
"Don't sound too excited." I joke even though I'm kind of offended at her reluctance.
"It's not that." She shakes her head adamantly and steers me away where there's no one around. My curiosity peaks as I wait for her to speak. She seems to debate a few moments before saying anything else. "It's just..." She lowers her voice. "My morning sickness is still around and I barely have an appetite these days. I don't want to waste your time, Nate."
The relief I feel is comical. Wasn't I just telling myself not to get my hopes up with her? "You've got to eat, Del. For you and the baby. How about we hit a few places and you can see if something sounds even a little appealing to you?"
"That's okay with you?" She crosses her arms almost defensively. "I'm sure you want to be able to do something as simple as going to lunch without worrying about your pregnant friend."
"Hey." I grip her chin between my fingers when she ducks her head and lift it up again. "You're not a burden, Del. Finding a restaurant with food you can stomach is not some impossible task that's going to suck the life out of me. I'm happy to do it if it means you can enjoy yourself. You and the baby come first. Always. Don't condition yourself to think otherwise."
She swallows soundly and her eyes glisten as she stares at me. I feel like I've been punched in the chest. "Ah, shit, Del." I wrap my arms around her and hug her to me. She hesitates for a couple of seconds but then her arms go around my waist and she leans her cheek on my chest. I'm certain she can feel my heart pounding but I don't care. I don't think I've ever hugged her before and it feels so goddamn right. Like she belongs here. I rub her back in slow circles and when she sighs softly, my pulse thunders. Being able to touch her like this, however innocent, heats up my blood. She smells so good and feels even better.
"Thank you." She says gently and pulls away. I immediately miss her touch. I'm so fucking screwed.
"Of course." I tip my head toward the exit. "Let's get you something to eat."
***
"Oh my God." Delilah groans and shovels another bite into her mouth.
The sounds she's making are turning me the fuck on and I keep squirming in my seat. My semi is making sitting down a goddamn challenge but I'd rather suffer in silence than not be here right now. The look of pure shock and delight on her face when I made her try the chocolate chip pancakes from South Street Diner was worth dragging her around the streets for half an hour and having her say no to every option I introduced. South Street Diner has the best comfort food and I love taking my sisters here when they're in town. They mostly serve breakfast foods so I didn't consider it as an option at first but when we passed the shop, Delilah shot her arm out to stop me from walking and said, "What smells so good? We have to go in here, Nate."
I shrugged and led her inside and then ordered the pancakes for her since that's what she'd smelled outside. She was practically drooling when the server brought them to her.
"These are seriously the best pancakes I've ever had." She mumbles around a mouthful. "And I can actually stomach this. They're so light and fluffy. I feel like I'm eating a meal after weeks."
I try not to puff my chest out like a douchebag because yeah, I made this happen.
"Try these." I say and push my plate of the Chocolate Fantasy French Toast towards her. She grabs a piece with her fork and puts it in her mouth, chewing for a few moments before nodding feverishly.
"Even better." With her mouth full of food though, it sounds like evah berrah and I stifle a laugh. I cut the French toast in half and slide part of it onto her plate. She widens her eyes. "You sure?"
"Yes, I'm show." I mimic and she covers her mouth quickly. "Relax. I'm teasing. Pig out, Angel."
She swallows her food and points her fork at me. "Right now, you're the angel. I haven't been properly fed in so long. I could cry."
"I got you." I dust off my shoulder and gesture at it. "For your tears."
"My hero." She rolls her eyes.
"Wow. You're especially snarky today."
"Because my tummy is finally reminding me how hungry I am."
"Wrong. I reminded you."
"Do you have to be right all the time?"
"It's another one of my talents."
"They seem to be endless." She teases and takes a sip of her water. "So. I have news."
"Good or bad?" I inquire.
She bites her lip and a pretty smile spreads under her teeth's hold. "Good."
"Then we have to do a drumroll." I raise my hands above the table and wait for her to do the same. She gives me an incredulous look but I don't budge until she sets her fork down and does the same. "Drumroll, please."
I start banging my hands on the surface rhythmically and Delilah does the same but with less enthusiasm. Her cheeks are red and she's giggling nervously. I know she doesn't like making a big deal out of things but I want to show her that she should feel excited openly about her successes, whatever they may be.
"Okay. Spill." I say when she shushes me and tells me to stop with a laugh.
She folds her hands together and takes a deep breath. And then she bursts.
"I'm getting published!"
My mouth drops. "You're shitting me."
She shakes her head with a smile so wide and genuine I have to grin back. It was a rare sight to see her express herself so openly and it's been a few months since I've seen her smile like that.
"Explain." I demand. She bounces in her seat with barely contained excitement.
"I ended up making my deadline earlier than planned. I actually finished the day after I bumped into you. I sent it to my editor and she whizzed through the story in a matter of hours. She said she was hooked from the first chapter and skipped lunch and dinner just to binge on it. She didn't have to make many changes because I'm sort of a perfectionist and edited it before giving it to her."
"You edited your story for your editor?" I interrupt. She merely shrugs and I chuckle under my breath. This girl.
"Anyways, she immediately sent it out to everyone and anyone she knew and she knows a lot of people. Coincidentally, the one publishing company she hoped would notice the story was the first one to get back to her so she accepted right away."
"Are they giving you a fair deal? How's the pay? My sister is a lawyer—well, defence attorney—but I'm sure she can check your contract for you."
"That's sweet but my editor wouldn't have accepted the offer if it wasn't fair. She's awesome. Trust me."
"If you say so. But you'll let me know?"
She smiles. "Yes. Thank you."
"Cool. Go on."
"Right. So I got in contact with them a couple of days ago and they went over all the terms and conditions with me and we set up things like the release date and someone to create a social media platform to promote myself and whatnot. All we need is a cover and they'll start printing."
"I'm so proud of you, Delilah." I say honestly. I take her hand in mine and lift it to my lips to gently kiss her knuckles. Her breath hitches as she watches me and I let her hand go before I do something stupider like kiss her perfect lips. God, I want to do that so bad. I clear my throat and redirect my thoughts. "Emily and Aves must have freaked."
She laughs a little nervously and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. "Actually, I haven't told them yet."
My surprise is obvious. "Seriously?"
"Yeah. I just...I guess I still hesitate about telling them things. I'm not sure why. They're amazing friends. But I just...I don't know."
"You should tell them." I advise and try to ignore the urge to do a fist-pump at the knowledge that she didn't hesitate opening up to me. Damn, I feel like one lucky motherfucker. "They'll be over-the-moon for you. They've been supporting your writing since they found out it's what you love."
"You're right. I'll tell them tonight for sure."
"Who else knows?"
"My mom and you. That's all."
She's making it really fucking hard not to fall for her. "Nice." I say nonchalantly. What I really want to say is you hear that fuckers?
"They asked me to brainstorm ideas over the cover but I'm drawing up blanks. Got anything for me?"
"That's a dangerous thing to ask, Angel." I grin and she blushes again. I have way too much fun teasing her.
"I meant about the book, goof." She nibbles her lip and I want to groan. How does she make everything look so hot?
I shrug and hope like hell she can't see the lust I know is in my eyes. I'm pretty sure I'm looking at her like I'd rather eat her than my food. "Just slap a shirtless guy on the front page. Don't all romance books have that?"
"Yeah, but where would I find..." Her eyes light up. "I bet Cameron would do it. That's totally his thing and he'll have a field day if he could model for me."
Is it bad that in this moment I want to punch one of my best buddies? And because jealousy takes the wheel and makes me a total dumbass I can't stop myself.
"I'll do it." I blurt.
She tilts her head. "Model for my book cover?"
"Why not?" I lean back in my seat and lift up my shirt for viewing pleasure. Delilah blinks at the sudden exposed skin and I swear for a second her eyes flash. I feel smug as hell as I lower my shirt again. That was kind of douchebag-y of me but like I said, I'm really not thinking right now. "I think my body will live up to modeling standards."
"W-well," She stutters, clearly flustered at me flashing her. "I mean...yes, it will. But are you sure?"
It's pretty much impossible to focus on anything other than the fact that she agreed I have a nice body. I already know that because I work damn hard for one but something about her saying it gives me a type of confidence I'm not sure I've felt before. Validation from her is just so much more satisfying. "I'm sure. It'll be like a project we can work on together. Sounds fun to me."
"Well, if you're fine with it then okay. I'll talk to the publishers." Her eyes roam over me and I watch her watch me. I don't know why but something about this seems intimate as fuck. "We might have to edit out your sleeve. I never mentioned the hero having tattoos."
"Or I could wear a suit jacket. You mentioned that the main dude is a business guy, right? I'll leave it open to show my chest and abs but the sleeves will be covered."
"That'll look really good." She agrees and this time there's no way I can stop my shit-eating grin. "Thank you for this."
"My pleasure." I wink. "And everyone else's."
She laughs softly and picks up her glass of water, smiling behind the rim. "Oh, Nate."
My one track mind immediately envisions all the other circumstances she'd say those very words to me—or even moan them—and I quickly change the topic. Damn, I need to get a hold of myself. I feel so fucking sleazy lusting after a pregnant woman and I meant what I said to Mark earlier about intending to be just her friend. "Let me grab the check."
"Oh, please don't. I can pay."
"I know. Just consider it my treat for your publication going through."
"Nate." She whispers. "You do too much."
I raise both my brows. "You think this is too much? You haven't seen anything yet, Delilah."
"I'm beginning to understand that."
"Good." I wave over the waitress who already has the check ready and hand over a few bills. She collects the money when I tell her to keep the change and Del and I gather our stuff, stepping out of the diner.
"It's so beautiful." Delilah sighs, lifting her face up to the sun. Her eyes close as she basks in the warm spring weather and I watch her, the peaceful expression she wears and the way her hair flutters slightly around her from the breeze.
"It is." I rasp, not taking my eyes off of her.
She opens her eyes at my tone and smiles shyly when she catches me staring. Her head drops so that her hair can cover her face, a frequent habit of hers, and I use my hand to move her hair back over her shoulder.
"Why do you do that?" I murmur, stepping closer. Her breath hitches as she gazes up at me curiously. I run a finger down the side of her face, not caring in the least about the consequences. "Why do you hide yourself? Don't you believe how beautiful you are?"
"I...not always." She admits softly. I know she's embarrassed because her eyes dart around and look everywhere except at me.
"You are." I say with so much conviction she has no choice but to look at me in bewilderment. "You're so very gorgeous. I'm sorry there are people out there who've made you believe otherwise because they couldn't be more wrong. Just remember that, okay?"
"I kind of want to avoid answering you but I know better than to think you'll let that slide." She raises her hand so she can entwine it with mine which is currently cupping her face. "I'll remember, Nate."
"Good girl." I sling an arm around her and resist the urge to do a fucking victory dance when she doesn't distance herself like she usually does.
I know I'm messing with temptation here but I'll take every little touch and sweet word I can get from her. After all, I can be really stubborn about doing things my way.
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A/N
These two are killing me with their cuteness! I have all the damn feels. I love that there's a forbidden factor here to spice up the story a bit.
What are your thoughts on these two and their growing relationship? Personally, I like that they're building a solid friendship before trying for something for which is exactly why I'm writing it this way.
Please VOTE, comment and share if you liked this chapter!
Happy Reading :)