Lacey paced around the hotel room that had been supposed to be hers last night with clothes strewn all around her. She hadn't been surprised when she saw what Ella had packed for her: skimpy clothes that were probably meant to be to Matty's liking, not her own. What had surprised her though, was that she had not been able to find even one pair of jeans in her belongings. At first she hadn't thought much about it, having the idea that she might as well just wear the same pants she wore the day before. But as soon as she picked those up it seemed as if the beach had decided to live in them, sand pouring out of them and all over the hotel room's carpet, which not only meant one less choice on the 'what-to-wear' list but also that the cleaning lady seemed to be getting an extra tip the next day. Sorting through the rest of her clothes, she was greeted by a sparkly body fitting dress with long sleeves, a black skater dress which showed a bit too much of her cleavage and finally, a skirt with a cropped shirt, which allowed a glimpse of her stomach. Not happy with either of the choices, she finally decided to grab the skirt and the top. She knew it wasn't an ideal outfit, - especially for a night she really did not want to dress up for - but it at least gave her a bit more freedom of movement than the tight fitting dresses.
Stripping out of Matty's shirt, which she had put back on after having it dry during her incredibly long and relaxing hot shower, she thought of what might lay ahead of her. She didn't know what to expect. There had been no indication of what they might be doing together, if they were even going to do something extravagant together. For all she knew, they might be staying in his hotel room drinking cheap red wine out of the minibar while talking about everything and nothing. She didn't even know what she herself wanted to happen that night. The only thing that she was incredibly certain of was that she wanted things to go well, that she simply couldn't take another fight - especially not with everything between them at stake.
She quickly slipped on her shirt when she heard a knock at her door and gave herself one last look in the mirror. Her hair was wavy from letting it air-dry after her shower and she had kept her make-up simple: a thin stroke of eyeliner with a bit of brown eye shadow around it and mascara to top it off. The only thing that really stood out about her was her outfit, but that hadn't exactly been in her hands from the start. She quickly fluffed up her hair one last time, before she went to the door and opened it.
Matty stood at the other side of it, clearly gawking at her appearance. She felt that familiar rush of embarrassment creep up on her and she quickly covered up her exposed stomach with her arms, suddenly conscious about all the monthly sit-ups she had planned on doing, but had never actually done.
Her gesture seemed to get him out of his thoughts and he shook his head as he regained his composure, "God, Lace." He muttered before he gently placed his hands on hers to guide them away from her stomach and back to her sides, "You look incredible."
She felt her cheeks turn even redder and she cursed herself for it. After all, this guy had already seen her naked, she should be well over the insecure phase by now, but somehow knowing that this might very well be the last time the black-clad guy in front of her might pick her up seemed to change it all.
He smirked a bit at her shyness and leaned in to whisper softly into her ear, "Don't be shy with me, Lace. Not tonight."
"I know, I'm sorry." She apologized before sharing her thoughts with him, "It's just that I know that this might be our last 'date' or whatever you might want to call it and that messes with my head big time."
He kissed her forehead, lingering there for a moment longer than usual, knowing that she needed the comfort, "Hey," He coaxed before he pulled back, smiling, "No talk about tomorrow, remember?"
She nodded, knowing very well what they had promised each other earlier. It wasn't that she didn't want to be true to their agreement, it was quite the opposite actually. There was nothing that sounded more intriguing to her than forgetting about all the drama that had happened earlier that day and simply enjoy the moments she had with Matty, whether they were going to be the last ones or the beginning of many more to come. Fact was that it simply wasn't as easy as it sounded. She couldn't look at him with his curly hair and his skinny ripped jeans without feeling the need to try and memorize every little detail about him in case he wasn't going to be around the next day.
Seeing her hesitation, he grabbed her hand and simply pulled her with him, "Enough of this. We've got things to do and places to be and we're gonna get started right now." He announced, smirking back at her, "You might get a little cold in that outfit though so we'll quickly go to my room and grab you something more to wear."
"Don't even begin to think that I wore this for you." She raised her eyebrows warningly, then explained, "Ella only packed incredibly skimpy outfits for me. This one's actually the one that shows the least."
He laughed as he opened his room's door, "Remind me to thank her then."
She shook her head at him, unable to contain a laugh herself, even though she desperately wanted to, "You're ridiculous." She muttered as it came out anyway.
"Ah there's that laugh again, I missed it." He smiled as he entered his room, coming out again shortly with something that vaguely represented an old rug held in his hands, but seemed to be considered a fur coat in the fashion world.
Lacey raised her eyebrows at him or more so at the thing that laid in his arms, "I am not wearing that."
He cocked his head, a slight smirk appearing on his lips, "It's not real fur if that's what you're concerned about."
She shook her head, "That's not what I meant, though it's certainly reassuring that it's not some dead animal that you're carrying there."
"Well then what's the problem?" He asked and looked down at the coat, clearly confused.
"Are you serious?" She laughed, "I mean look at it! It's fucking hideous!"
He pursed his lips, seemingly not too pleased with her making fun of his taste in fashion, "Are you making fun of the way I dress, Lace?"
Shaking her head, she couldn't stop the fits of laughter coming out of her mouth, not wanting to believe that the usually so fashionable Matthew Healy would have something that horrible in his wardrobe, "You don't seriously wear that rag out in public, do you?"
"First of all, this isn't a 'rag', this is a fake fur coat that cost quite some money, thank you very much." He noted dismissively, "Second of all, I look fucking amazing in that coat, I have been told so by several people, not only myself."
She rolled her eyes at him, "Oh from the tons of fangirls that want to hop into bed with you? How surprising."
"You want to fuck me just as much as they do." He challenged, somehow defending his fans in his own odd way.
Knowing that he must be expecting her to turn into her usual embarrassed self whenever sex was mentioned, she surprised him by saying, "But not with that thing on you."
Not even granting her the satisfaction of a reply, he simply shrugged out of his usual leather jacket and threw it over to her.
Expecting him to put on the coat instead, in order to prove his point, she was surprised when he stripped out of his floral shirt as well, revealing his skinny chest with all the tattoos that always seemed to captivate her.
Allowing her a moment to gawk at him, he smirked, "Done now, love?"
She rolled her eyes at his overly prominent self-confidence, "Don't flatter yourself, Healy. I was only admiring your tattoo artist's talents."
"Mhm, of course you were." He grinned, whilst finally putting on his coat.
There was nothing Lacey could do but stare. She couldn't believe that Matty even managed to make that old rag look like something you wanted to take off of him again in the next second, simply because he looked so damn attractive in it.
Trying to hide her obvious change of mind, she mumbled, "U-uh you look alright, I suppose."
He laughed lightly as he put his arm around her shoulders and made both of them walk towards the elevator, so that they could finally start their journey together - wherever to that might be, "It's okay to tell me I'm attractive, Lace. My ego can't get much bigger anyway."
"Well you're certainly right about that last part." She muttered, then crossed her arms in defeat, "Fine, you do look hot in that otherwise horrendous coat. Happy now?"
The elevator arrived and he pulled her in with him, pressing her against the metal wall, "Very much so." He breathed as he gently sucked on her neck causing a moan to escape her mouth.
She felt him smirk against her skin as he made his way up towards her ear, whispering, "You like that, huh Lace?", before he bit her earlobe gently - something she would never have expected to like, but coming from Matty seemed like one of the most pleasurable things someone could do to you. Murmuring a quick "mhm" to his question, she tilted her head towards his, ready to feel his lips on hers. He seemed to take the hint since he leaned closer to her and she closed her eyes in expectance, but soon had to open them again when she realized he would not give her the satisfaction of kissing her.
His breath grazed her lips as he murmured, "Tell me you like when I do that to you, Lace."
Willing to do anything, if that meant he would finally stop teasing her, she quickly said, "I like when you kiss my neck, Healy. Now get it on with."
He chuckled at her unusual eagerness and leaned into her again, his lips lightly touching hers before pulling back again.
"This is for hating on my coat." He announced, smirking as she looked at him in confusion.
Before she could form any sensible sentence of what she might say back to him, the door opened on the ground floor, causing her to groan in frustration.
He winked, "Better think twice before insulting my taste in fashion again." Seeing her angry face, he laughed and put his arm around her, "And anyway, we have a whole night to do more of that, love and later I will actually give you the satisfaction of kissing you - but first I want to take you somewhere."
She raised her eyebrows, so excited at the thought of him having had planned something special for her that she almost forgot the elevator incident, "There's probably no way you're going to tell me where we're going, is there?"
"Not a chance." He almost sing-songed, then gestured to the leather jacket and shirt she was still holding in her hands, "Better put that on though, it might get a bit cold."
Doing as she was told, she slipped into his shirt and leather jacket - immediately overwhelmed by his scent that seemed to linger on the jacket more than on any other clothing he seemed to wear.
It made sense to her as well. After all, the leather jacket had been the only real consistency in Matty's appearance since the day she met him. While his shirts changed from black, to white, to black again and also his jeans seemed to go from huge rip above his knee to no rip at all, the leather jacket had always been the same. She knew it was such a ridiculously cliché thought, but she had always wanted to wear this exact jacket of his, simply because it was the one thing she immediately connected to Matty.
They walked for quite some time talking about this and that. From Matty's dog which he had loved unconditionally to her telling him about how every holiday all her relatives came to their house to celebrate together - about twenty people who for those few days lived completely off of love and each other's companies. It was an easy conversation, as it always seemed to be the case between them and she enjoyed every single second of it.
After a while, they reached a park and Lacey looked around at the area they were in, in order to get some orientation, "Going to do touristy things by night are we now?" She teased as she realized that they were at the very famous Hollyrood Park, but instead of getting a light-hearted answer back, Matty simply mouthed a "just wait."
She obeyed and kept her mouth shut, instead looking at the few other people who chose to spend their night the same way they did. There was a group of teenagers sitting on one of the benches, letting the evening fade away with a shared joint. To their right was an old man staring off into the distance, apparently caught up in his own thoughts about former times and maybe a certain someone that back then had been sitting beside him. A lot of couples seemed to enjoy a late-night stroll around the park as well. It seemed funny to Lacey how it was so easy to recognize what level their relationship seemed to be on. Some of the couples that crossed their way were holding hands and smiling at each other constantly, clearly still stuck in that first phase - where everything the other one did seemed hilarious and wonderful. Others walked next to each other, looking at everything but one another, probably estimating how long they could keep this up for and when the inevitable break-up might come. Finally, there were Lacey's favorites: couples which walked hand in hand, but in silence. Simply enjoying each other's company without feeling the need to constantly converse, but also indulging a kind of silence that didn't predict the end, but was comfortable instead.
Lacey wondered what kind of couple Matty and her resembled. She liked to think of them as being the latter: two people that don't need any more reassurance than the touch of a hand. She could easily be wrong though. What if their silence didn't seem as peaceful to others as it did to her? What if instead, it seemed like a death sentence for their 'relationship', as if both of them were simply holding onto each other in order to avoid a nasty confrontation for just one more day.
Looking over at Matty, she wondered what exactly was going through his mind. She was almost sure that he was thinking about whatever they were as well, even if he said that all thoughts of their future were banned for the night.
Just as she was about to open her mouth and ask him about it, he blurted out, "Man I could really use a blunt now, too."
There was nothing she could do, but burst into a fit of laughter. Of course, Matty Healy's brain would only catch up on the smell of weed that was brought to them by the wind and shut out everything else that was going on around them.
He furrowed his eyebrows at her, clearly confused as to what was so funny about him wanting a bit of weed in his system, "What?" He asked.
"Nothing." Lacey shook her head, tears in her eyes from all the laughing, "I was just wondering what you were thinking about and then you blurted that out and I sure as hell didn't expect that to be on your mind right this moment, even though I really shouldn't be so surprised."
A look of amusement crossed his face, "Yeah, you really shouldn't. Though I must say, all these couples do make me a bit nervous. Did you see that tall black guy with the blonde girlfriend? They looked like they might break out into a fight right then and there."
"Right?!" She agreed, then told him what had been on her mind, "I was wondering what all these people think when they see us together. Of course, I know we're not together and all, but what couple we seem like, you know?"
He chuckled a bit at her train of thoughts that of course once again involved their relationship, "Honestly, love?" He smirked as he pulled his hand from her grasp and put his arm around her casually instead, "I believe the first thing that pops into their head when they see us is that we look so cool together."
"Oh true, I forgot about the whole shirtless-fur coat look you've got going on." She mused as her hands trailed over the soft material.
He waved his hand up and down, gesturing towards her own outfit, "I think your whole crop top and high waisted skirt look together with my leather jacket plays into it as well." Smirking, he put his arm up in order to make her twirl around for him without stopping their walk, "We look like fucking Bonnie and Clyde, Lace."
"I don't think Bonnie and Clyde would hike up a hill in the middle of the night." She pointed out as she finally noticed that they have been going uphill for quite some time now, "What is this even? A hill in the middle of a park, who does that?"
Rolling her eyes at her, he joked, "No wonder the Scots are thinking about leaving the UK with you not knowing shit about them." He spread out his arms and gestured towards the already amazing view that spread out before them, "This is Arthur's Seat and when you're up there," He pointed towards the very top, which wasn't all that far from them anymore, "The whole city of Edinburgh is right at your feet."
"It already looks incredible." She admitted as she picked up her pace again, now eager to reach the uppermost spot.
He laughed at her sudden ambition as he followed closely behind her, taking those last few steps in silence.
As soon as they were on top of the hill, Lacey was filled with complete awe. There was nothing she had seen before in her life that was even remotely as beautiful. It was as if the whole world and all its possibilities were strewn out in front of her and she just stood at the top of it all, observing until she knew which chances she was willing to take.
Matty's arms came around her waist, pulling her against him, "This place reminds me of the first night we spent together on top of that hill in London, only this one is ten times more magnificent."
She leaned back against him, savoring every little bit about this moment before she turned around to face him, "This is amazing, Matty. Thank you." She thanked him earnestly and placed a soft kiss on his lips.
Tucking her hair behind her ear, he shook his head softly, "Don't thank me for something this banal, Lace."
"For me this isn't banal, Matty." She stated then looked behind her at the view of the city, "No one has ever done something this sweet for me, so just accept my thanks and sit down with me."
"Whatever you say, Lace." He snickered as he went to the very edge of the grass and sat down cross-legged, waiting for her to join him before he commented on her statement, "If this is the nicest thing a guy has ever done for you, then you've certainly not been with the right kind of men."
"I'm not even going to try and disagree with that." She muttered, which brought laughter out of Matty yet again.
"Tell me about your last boyfriend."
She cocked her head at him, surprised that he was interested in her former relationships, "Well, what do you want to know?"
Shrugging he looked back out at the vast sight in front of him, "Anything you want to tell me."
"Well..." Lacey started and trailed off as she racked her brain for something to tell him, "His name was Trevor. We dated for several months before he got mad at me for not wanting to have sex with him and walked out on me."
"Why didn't you want to have sex with him?" He asked, genuinely interested.
She sighed, not really knowing herself why she hadn't been willing to take that step for him. After all, he had been a lovely guy before he had walked out on her and even that was something she did not blame him for. He just hadn't been the right one.
"I guess it's because I wasn't as in love with him as much as I should have been." She mumbled, then looked over at Matty, "Meeting you has actually shown me what I was missing with the other guys." She admitted a bit shyly.
He turned to face her, his curious eyes landing on hers as he questioned, "How so?"
"I can't believe I'm going to say this." She laughed nervously and felt his hand take hers as form of encouragement. Taking a deep breath, she explained what was going on in her head, "From the moment I met you, I was so drawn to you. With every other guy I usually hate when they touch me very often or constantly take my hand, but with you I actually want to do all that." She shook her head, laughing lightly, "And then I'm just so attracted to you." Biting her lip, she looked at him her eyes scanning his familiar face, "It's so weird to me as well, because I never in a million years would have guessed that I'd like some tattooed, leather jacket wearing guy. In fact, that was always something I steered clear of, because I simply found it unattractive." Shrugging, her eyes looked back out into the distance, "But you are so different, I don't even know. I just constantly think about your lips on mine, or our bodies pressed against each other and oh god," She groaned, "You just mess with my head, Matthew."
Grabbing her chin lightly, he turned her head in a way that enabled him to look her straight in the eye, his eyes searching hers for god knows what, "You mess with mine just as much, Lace, you don't even know." He ran his fingers through his hair, obviously nervous about what he was about to tell her, "For fucks sake, you're the first girl I've actually hung out with for weeks without shagging her during that time. Usually the girls I like are one night stands that were so good in bed that I decide to hang out with them in the hopes that their personalities can keep up with their skills." He smirks lightly, "But with you, it's the other way around. Your personality pulled me in from day one and I just knew that I wanted to get to know you more. And sure, I had my doubts as to the whole sex thing with you being a virgin. I mean, I honestly don't care that you are one of course, hell - I admire you for it, but I'm so used to having tons of sex that it kind of freaked me out knowing that being with you meant laying off of that for a bit." He shook his head, laughing at his own stupidity, "Damn, was I wrong though. You don't even know how much pleasure simply touching you brings me, it's even better than some sex experiences I've had with other girls. And fuck, Lace the blowjobs you give, it's legit the best-"
"Shut up" Lacey interrupted him before he could go any further, her embarrassment level already at a maximum.
He laughed lightly as he shrugged apologetically, "Sorry, love. It's just the truth, you satisfy me both emotionally and physically and that's fucking wonderful if you ask me."
She covered her face with her hands, ready for him to drop the subject, "You're horrible."
He took her hands in his, guiding them away from her face, "Stop being so shy with me, Lace."
Her hands dropped to her sides in frustration, "Who on earth wouldn't get embarrassed when being complimented on giving good blowjobs?"
Not a second passed before he blurted, "Me." Before noticing his mistake, "Well, I mean on giving good head, though I'd probably be good at blowjobs as well." He grinned.
"Maybe you and George should try that out soon." She mused.
Winking, he stated, "I'd rather fuck you instead."
Throwing her head back groaning, she complained, "Do you always have to say 'fuck'? It sounds so dirty and meaningless."
He obliged, "Have sex, then. I'd rather have sex with you."
She shook her head, confused at where this conversation was heading, "I can't have sex with you, Matty."
Looking over at her, he raised his eyebrows a bit surprised at the seriousness she brought towards his joke, "Why?"
Biting her lip, she looked over at him, "If we're going to do this casual thing, I simply can't do that with you."
He repeated his question one more time, "Why?"
She threw her hands up frustratingly, "Because if you're going to be my first I will never be able to forget you if you end up not wanting to settle down. It'll be hard enough to do so even if we don't have sex, I don't need another component to make it even worse."
Furrowing his eyebrows in complete confusion, he questioned, "What are you even saying right now, Lace?" Then before she could even gather her own thoughts and figure out what it really was what she wanted to tell him, he seemed to realize something, "Oh!" He exclaimed and looked at her, "Oh, are you saying you want to try the whole dating without actually dating thing until I get my shit together?" Not giving her the chance to reply yet again, he continued blabbing on in typical Matty fashion, "You really don't have to do that, Lace. I understand if you only want a serious relationship and I'm sorry that I can't give that to you right this moment though I really don't want to lose you. But I mean, I don't want you to continue hanging out with me when it's not what you want, you really don't have-"
"God Matty, shut up for a second will ya?" Lacey interrupted him, shaking her head, "I don't even know if that's what I wanted to say..." She trailed off, then bit her lip muttering, "Though I guess it was."
He cupped her chin in his hand lightly and turned her head to face him, resting his forehead against hers as he spoke, "Shit Lace, god this makes me so happy even though I shouldn't be happy since it's not exactly what you want right now." He pulled away from her just enough so his eyes rested on hers, a look of complete sincerity filling them, "I promise you I won't string you along. As soon as I figure out whether I can handle the whole serious relationship scenario I will let you know. The same goes for if I realize I can't. The moment my brain isn't such a jumbled mess when it comes to you, I will tell you. I promise."
"I know you won't." She said softly with a light smile resting on her lips, before she turned serious again, "There have to be a few conditions though, Matty."
Nodding his head eagerly, apparently willing to do anything if that meant keeping her around for a while longer, he told her, "Anything."
"Okay, well..." She started and looked back at the city of Edinburgh before her feet, which somehow gave her a feeling of empowerment, "Like I said, I won't have sex with you and I'd really appreciate it if you didn't have sex with other girls either."
"I won't." He agreed.
Shaking her head at his too quick response, she explained, "I know that we won't be official, but at least have me be the only one? I'll understand if you want to have things going on with other girls, but then I'll leave. So please, if you start to feel some need for sex tell me beforehand and I won't have to be around when it happens."
"Like I said, Lace. You're the only one I want right now and I will tell you as soon as that changes, I don't ever want to hurt you." He declared.
She nodded, this time satisfied with his answer, before she stated her next condition, "I won't have you meet my parents until we're official. I've only ever let serious boyfriends meet them and no matter how much I like you, that won't change until we're actually a couple."
This seemed to hurt him a bit, but he knew that she was the one who had the reins in her hand when it came to defining what they would be the next few weeks or months, so he simply nodded again and said, "That's okay. I'd like you to meet mine though, if that's alright with you?"
Surprised and confused as to why he would want her to meet his family, when he wasn't even ready to properly settle down with her, she questioned, "Why do you want me to meet them?"
He shrugged, "Cause they're important to me and obviously you're important to me as well." Then he joked, "Plus if they don't like you we'll know right away that things won't work out."
Sensing a bit of honesty in his last statement, she laughed only half-heartedly, "Well then let's hope they'll like me." Finally, she went on to her last rule, "I've got one last thing: this won't go any longer than three months tops. If you're still unsure then, it's over."
Much to her surprise, he didn't even seem shocked at that and simply agreed, "That's fair." Before he pulled her into his arms and muttered into her hair, "I'm sorry for being such a fucking dick who has this relationship complex, but god Lace, if I know something right this moment it's that you're the most amazing girl I have ever met."
She rolled her eyes, "Oh and one more thing: don't say shit you don't mean."
He smirked at her bitterness, "I mean it though and you know pretty damn well that I'm completely fixated on you. Why else would I try and pull romantic shit like this," He gestured towards the city and its lights, "when it's quite obviously not my forte?"
Not even bothering to comment on his statement and tell him again that it in fact was very romantic, she looked him straight in the eyes and reminded him, "Three months."
His eyes met her stare and she thought she could see the thankfulness in them, "Three months." He echoed before he softly kissed her lips. A gesture that was very unlike Matty, but in that moment just right.
Her lips immediately welcomed his lips on them, a funny feeling spreading in her stomach and she questioned herself what on earth she had gotten herself into, when she realized that those were her very own butterflies caused by the one and only Matthew Healy.
A/N: Oh my goodness, this is one long chapter. It has 5377 words which is double than what I usually write, so I really hope you enjoy this one :) Also please don't hate me for not having them get together and all happy ever after haha. I just didn't think it would be right to have him be like "oh yeah I want a relationship now even though I hated relationships this morning" and it made more sense to me to have her agree to casually dating on her own terms. I hope Lacey doesn't seem like a weak push-over because of this because that's really not how I wanted her to sound. Please tell me what you think about all of this. I appreciate your feedback/criticism so much, you don't even know. A big shoutout also to anahealy (who has an amazing new fanfiction, check it out) whose comments always make me smile. :) also thank you to every one of you who always votes, I'd list all your names now but I think you know who you are (ehem jerialc for example and Nips586 and....) just thank you to all of you! :) m
p.s. 2k reads until tmw? that'd be mental - spread the love x