Taylor POV
We sat at the edge of the hill, just talking. I know it was already evening, from how the sun is almost down and the moon is already up.
"My mother called last night." I blurted out.
Jared look at me and raise his eyebrows, I sigh. "I don't know what she want cause the minute she said she was my mother, I drop the phone." I said.
He smile, "That's okay. You're just too shocked. Its understandable." He told me.
I rolled my eyes, "I don't want to talk to her anyway. She walk out on me for another guy. So might as well cut her off from my life too, right?" I said pathetically. He sigh and rubbed my arm, "I'm here for you if you need me." He said.
I rolled my eyes, "I thought about cutting my hair." I said completely changing the topic.
He look at me horrified.
"No, you cannot cut your beautiful long hair. I forbidden you to." He states sternly. I snorted, "Who are you? My father?" I joked.
He rolled his eyes, "No I'm just the guy who totally in love with you and I want your hair just the way it is." He stated.
I groaned, "I need to trim it then dye my hair." I said, grinning happily. He shook his head furiously, "No. Taylor, you already beautiful the way you are." He said.
I fought the blush. "I know, I've been told a lot of times." I mumbled quietly, embarrassed. He smirk, "You're so adorable." He tease as he pinch my pink cheeks.
I scowl despite the blush and slap his hand away. He chuckle, "Lets get you home before your brother send a swat team searching for you." He said as he stood up and pull me up to my feet.
He turn around and walk away when I reach out and intertwine our hands. He look down on our hands before looking up at at and smile warmly. He walk a few step to me and lean down, giving me a tender kiss.
He pull away and smile before pecking my lips once more and lead us out of the mountain hill. He stopped me from talking any further to his bike and fish something in his pocket. His eyebrows furrowing, "I have something for you." He stated as he turning around in circle trying to get whatever it is from his pocket.
I rolled my eyes, "You're turning around in a circle trying to get whatever you need from your back pocket, remind me of a dog trying to chase its tail." I mused.
He scowl at me and when he finally get to take out the thing, he fist bump. Its a black packet, he loosen the tie and take out a very pretty gold and silver bracelet. My eyes bulges out of the socket. "What's that?"
"A bracelet." He answered like I just lost my mind.
He took hold of my wrist, when I stop him with my other hand, "I can't take that." I told him quietly. He rolled his eyes, "Its not that expensive. Compare to what I did to you, you deserve everything." He said softly and clasped the bracelet around my wrist.
It has a few charm hanging, I look at all the charm and noticing the one with the letter 'J' and 'T'. It also have other few charm which is heart sapphire blue stone and some other. But the letter really caught my attention. I look back up at him. He grinned, "I had the same one except mine is just our name carved together." He said as he showed me his silver bracelet.
"How come did I not notice that before?" I mumbled.
He smile and kiss my forehead, "We may not be together officially yet. But it's just a small reminder, letting you know you're mine in anyway possible." He told me as he smile at me warmly.
I felt my heart melt and my eyes softened. A faint smile appear on my lips as I touch the charm, "Its beautiful and I love it." I said softly.
"I'm glad you did."
---
"So how did you come up with this song?" Jake asked as he look over to my lyrics and a few chords I came out with.
I shrug, "Playing around with the tunes and then I just try to come out with the perfect words." I answered. "Well we need a little bit more changes on it and we're good." Austin said.
It was after school the next day, we came over to Jake's house cause he got all the equipment we need to record the song and all that stuff. I was very excited and nervous to know that we're actually doing this. "Are you and Jared together?" Cameron asked when he walk in the room and sat beside Jake.
"Not officially." I said quietly.
Sam frown, "He need to man up and ask you out already." He stated. I rolled my eyes, "He did ask alright. I'm just not ready yet." I told them. He sigh and walk up and sit next to me, wrapping his arm around me.
"You know we always gonna be there to pick up your broken pieces he left behind right?" He said softly.
I chuckle, "How can I ever forget when you're there reminding me almost everyday. I bet you want to remind me every minute." I joked.
Sam just grinned at me sheepishly. I rolled my eyes and we talk about something else.
We ended up playing some board games while waiting for Cameron and some of the boys to reach. They had detention for being so rude to the teacher. But honestly, it was furious when Mrs Burk look like she had steam out of her ear when Cameron retorted that she can't mingle with anyone else when she told Cameron not to flirt with me.
"You have got to be kidding me." Sam exclaimed.
I look at him and raise my eyebrows just as he type on his phone furiously. "Trouble at paradise eh?" I teased.
He rolled his eyes, "Chad is coming over tonight with Vanessa. But the reason was because mum found us." He told me quietly.
We fell silent.
You could hear the pin drop and the water drip from the water pipe. Sam look at me nervously and worried, "We don't know how she found it but she did. And dad said she came back for us. But she want you more."
And right then I snapped, "What do you mean wants me more? What am I? A toy for people to buy and throw me when they don't need me anymore?"
Sam winced, "She's not taking you away from us Taylor. You're our priority. I'm never gonna let her separate us." He told me firmly. I rolled my eyes, "What can you do Sam? For all we know, she could bring this to court and fight custody over us." I hissed.
Jake just look confuse over us. "You lost me at buy and throw." He stated confusingly making me crack up.
---
Chad was trying to calm down.
Dad is staring blankly, showing no emotion.
Sam, well, he look like a kid who got broken and being stomp all over again on the same wounds.
I look at the woman, the woman who I used to loved. The woman, I thought who love me to death. But right now, I don't know who she is anymore. We still share the same feature, but I couldn't recognize her beneath all the lies and betrayal.
"Why are you doing this to us?" I whispered helplessly.
Mum turn her gaze to me, "Because you're my daughter, you all are my kids." Shea answered shortly.
And right then and there, something in me just snapped. "Oh so after you realize what a terrible mistake you made on walking out on us, you decide to came back and act like nothing happened? You still have the guts to show up at the front door of the people, of the family who loved you so much that they lied to me and Sam just to avoid us from hating you."
"I may not know you like how they knew you. But here's a thing, you can't came back to us and claim that we're yours just because we successful. I lived my whole 17 year, thinking you really died. But no, you were out there screwing your high school sweetheart lover who seem to came back to you just because his wife left him?" I spat. She cringe and open her mouth to say something but I wasn't done. I was far from done.
I held up my hand and stop her from talking, "You were blinded by the old sparks and happily ever after that you didn't realize who you hurt along the way. Dad who was still crazily in love with you, keep your picture beside him every night just to put him to sleep. An older son, who crave his mother's love, seek for her attention. Your twins, who never knew what it was like to have a mother. You don't hurt just one person mum. You hurt all of us. And we're far from healing. We're far from fixing our broken pieces back together. All we could ask from you is to leave us alone. You walk out on us, hurting us, you can't just shimmy your way back in. Haven't you done enough already?"
They sat there quietly as I wipe the tears that have rolled down my cheeks. "In all honestly, I thought you could at least check on us every once in awhile. Are we not good enough for you?" I asked, my voice crack a little.
Sam reach out for my hand and squeeze my hand in reassurance, letting me know he was there for me.
I tried my best to hold in the tears as I look at the woman who gave birth to me. The woman who bring me to the world. "I think you should go." Dad said quietly as he avoid her gaze.
Mum look at all of us, pain and regret are cleared in her eyes. "I'm really sorry I caused you heartache." She croak. Her gaze turn to me, "Things aren't pretty in my life Taylor. But I knew I deserve this for what I did to you. I'll protect you in any way I can from danger. I love you guys. So much." She said.
Before Chad could ask what she mean by protect me, mum already went out the door. I drop down to the ground and hug my knees up to my chest, letting out all of the pain I felt. The cries of how broken I am right now. I was already broken. Shattered in million pieces. I was nowhere near my happy ending. I was nowhere near my healing.
----
They said time would heal, but from all I could say was, as time pass, all we ever learn was ignore the missing pieces of our heart and continuing our journey like nothing happened. We continue with life until someone else filled our empty spots in our heart, completing us but no matter what they do, we know we can't be as complete as we want to.
Our life will be full of flaws and full of battle scars that has left behind along the way as we fought our battles.
As I sat at the beach just down the street from our house, I think about all the possibilities on why I have to face all this. What have I done to deserve this shirt to throw my way?
Just as I thought maybe my life could be a little happy, something fuck up things was thrown my way, making me more miserable than I already am. I don't how long I've been avoiding everyone that few weeks. Sam told them what happened, and they gave me space. I know they were worried. I didn't want them to take me as the weak and fragile little girl, but as I take one look at my life, I couldn't help but feel sorry for myself. I felt sorry for myself cause I let it take control of my emotion. I let it bring me down.
And most of all, I let the misery took over me and drown to the depression that I have tried to avoid for years.
I've been depressed.
Not the way I would hurt myself. I would drink a lot, get myself high and lost myself. I would get myself in some kind of trouble and laugh at my family's faces when they look at me horrified. I've been to rehab and I didn't like it there. They sent psychiatrist over, we talked. But she do the talking, while I stare blankly into the distance not saying anything.
Dad and Chad were worried.
Everyone was worried.
Jared came over, talking to me. Telling me stories about Charlie. She's been doing well from the first heartbroken she gone through. Kylie was still Kylie, walk around, flirting with any hot boys she saw. Surprisingly, Jared and the boys got along very well. They came over, trying to cheer me up but nothing help.
I don't even know how I end up being depressed. I guess from all the times I kept my hurt and pain hidden, that when mum showed up, she practically snap me out of it and all the pain I've hide was reveal. Dad even went home early from his work, just to look after me. He would send me and Sam to school, and pick us up. I walk around the school like some kind of zombie. I was out of basketball for awhile since dad told my coach about my state.
At some point, I questioned myself. Am I even sane anymore? Or have I gone crazy?
"Taylor, talk to me love. Why are you doing this to yourself." Jared murmured as he cup my face and make me look at him. I look into his eyes which is full of worried and pain. A pang of guilt rush over me. I caused him the pain. I wish I could help, but I really couldn't.
Its like I couldn't get out of the darkness and I'm drowning fast.
I let out a sob and pull my face away, hugging my knees up to my chest and rock myself. I cried. I don't know why. But I just cried. Couldn't help the tears that flowing freely down my cheeks. Jared sigh as he wrap his arm tightly around me.
"You'll be okay. I'm here aren't I? I love you, please come back to me." Jared plea.
I buried my face in his chest and cried. He didn't complain that his shirt it damp from my tears, he just soothe me and stroke my hair as I cried. At some point, he would whisper sweet things to me which cause me to cry harder.
I couldn't be deserve any of this.
If my mum could walk out of my life. Anyone would. She walk out, prove that I'm not good enough for her.
Sam stood by the doorway as he look at me. Sorrow was etch in his face. He walk towards me and crouch down in front of me. Jared was holding my hand. "Taylor, say something. I feel helpless. You're suffering, I know. Let us suffer with you. Don't go through this alone. We're here. We're a family, you don't have to endure this alone." He said with pained. His eyes were glassy and he had dark circle under his eyes, his hair was messy. I know he might pull on his hair in frustration and confusion. My lips quivering, Sam sigh. "What's wrong Taylor? Please tell me. I don't want to be kept in the dark than I'm already am Tay. Please let me in." He pleaded. A single tear rolled down his cheek.
My chest tightened as I hold his hand with my free one. "It hurts Sam. It hurt so much." I choked out as I cried again. Sam gather me in his arms and kiss my forehead, "I know. I know it hurts." He said quietly as he rubbed my back and rest his cheek at the crown of my head.
"We're here. You don't have to to through this alone Taylor." Sam told me softly.
~~~
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I'm kind of confuse with the story myself but oh well, we see how it goes yeah?
xoxo