Tyler
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It's about an hour before the game and I find myself traveling towards the tree house. I just want to not feel anything at the moment. Too much is happening. I have too many feelings that I can't control. If I'm being truthful with myself I know that getting over Troye is probably the best option for me at the moment. I can't though. He's too special to me. He makes me fall for him a little harder each time he flashes me a little smile or flirts with me. When he touches me I melt and just can't stop the feeling.
I climb onto the deck of the tree house intending to something that I shouldn't be doing yet. I unlock the door with the key that I don't necessarily remember going to my room to get. I turn the knob opening the door before pull out the key. I walk into the tree house closing the door behind me. I flop onto the bean bags lying in the floor. I take a deep breath and smell Troye's cologne. He smells so damn good.
It's several minutes before I get up searching for a cup. I find one right where I remember them being last time I had control of the tree house. I pull out the bottle of strawberry wine then put my cup down. I put the wine back into the cooler and pull out a bud light lime. I feel like this would be Troye's favorite drink if he drank. I wonder if tonight will be his first time drinking. I don't want to corrupt his sweet innocence. I take a drink hating the taste but wanting nothing more than to forget.
I don't want to forget him. I just don't want to think about him right now. I don't want to think about him when he's going to be asked out tonight. When I know he'll say yes. When I know he's happy and I'm not a part of it. I take a longer drink.
By the time I leave the tree house the game has probably already started and I feel almost drunk. I'm not quite there yet but one glass of that wine and I'm sure I'll be there. Hopefully nothing too bad happens to me tonight. I stumble to the edge of the forest heading back to my room for a moment to change into warmer more school spirit oriented clothes. I walk to the football field slowly seeing that it is already 7:15 as I check my phone. I see a text from Troye telling me that he's sitting in the front center seats. I reply telling him I'll be there soon.
I walk to where Troye said he'd be. I see him looking around and my heart breaks at the sight of him. He's wearing Austin's jersey with a white long sleeved shirt underneath it. He has the words "45 is my #1" written across his face in our school colors. He looks so cute to the average person but to me I know what all of this means. It means things are getting serious with Troystin. Austin doesn't just let people wear his jersey. He never even let me wear his jersey. I feel confidence in me that I know is a result of my drinking. I don't care that this is, for the moment, hopeless.
"Hey, Troye." I say throwing an arm around him and I see a big smile spread across his face. He doesn't wrap his arm around me but he relaxes against me.
"Hey there, Tyler." Troye says as his eyes flick to the game that he obviously doesn't understand. He watches Austin running with the ball as the crowd roars. Austin makes it almost to the end zone before being tackled to the ground. I see Troye wince and I giggle a little.
"Austin's fine don't worry Troye boy." My speech sounds a bit slow and maybe a bit slurred. Troye looks at me and smiles big showing me his amazing teeth. Then he leans towards me. At first I think he's leaning in to kiss me or something. Don't judge me I'm under the influence and five ever thirsty. I soon realize that that it's his nose that is traveling towards my lips. He takes a deep breath and he pushes me away from him with an almost disgusted look on his face.
"Ew Tyler how much did you drink?" Ew? This is the first time that he has ever seemed even slightly disgusted with me. What if this makes him hate me? Troye doesn't deserve someone who has to numb there pain with alcohol. If I was with him I wouldn't need alcohol. He'd be my happy little pill.
"Three or four?" I say not being able to remember if I'd three drinks or four. That wasn't the point. The point was to drown my pain. It did a pretty good job, I guess.
"What if you get caught?" Troye asks sounding very worried as he locks his eyes with mine. His face is slathered in worry and it makes me want to laugh for some reason. Why the fuck does he care so much? Let me be a useless drunk. Maybe then he won't have so many feelings for man that he doesn't want to face. Maybe I'll do that just for him.
"I've gotten drunk on campus so many times, Troye. No one is going to catch me." Troye doesn't seem to think I'm telling the truth and I don't really blame him. I mean this kid knows nothing about that side of the fence.
Troye bites his lip looking out onto the field and I feel lust spread through my body. I settle for leaning against him knowing that he's not mine and I can't do anything to him. He wraps his arm around my shoulder and gives me a somewhat sympathetic look. I'm doing a swell job of enforcing the no cute cuddly friendship thing from earlier. I don't fucking care right now.
The game seems to drag on for a long time. Troye only let me rest against him for a few minutes before shifting away from me and watching Austin. He's cheering for Austin. Screaming his name. Some very wrong thoughts fly through my mind as he screams for Austin. Most of them around the lines of he should be screaming my name.
Our coach calls a timeout with ten seconds left in the game. We are tied with the other team despite how sure they were that they were going to win. Someone starts a cheer and soon we are all cheering on our team. They break and we have the ball. We are only a few feet from the end zone. Troye is on the edge of his seat in anticipation.
"Go Austin!!" he shouts and I sigh seeing Austin's head toward the stands for a moment. The ref blows his whistle and the next thing I know Austin is dancing in the end zone and the crowd is flying to the field. Troye leaves my side running towards the end zone to Austin. Austin rips his helmet off casting it aside as Troye jumps up onto him. Troye wraps his legs around Austin's waist and I see something that shatters my heart more than I think should be humanly possible.
They are kissing.
Troye's lips are all over Austin's face. They are kissing when I sit there absolutely shocked. Then something happens that makes me want to crawl into a dark hole and never ever come out. I see nine of Austin's friends completely shirtless except for a letter painted on their chests. I read 'Troystin?' and I'm done.
I walk away tears threatening my eyes. I walk away from the field finding that my feet are leading me towards the edge of the trees. I feel a hang on my shoulder as I stumble over a root. I turn prepared to get fucking rude with whoever is bugging me but I just start crying when I see Connor standing behind me. Connor pushes me into the trees so we won't be seen then pulls me into his arms.
"Tyler I saw. I'm sorry. I know it sucks. Shh." I cry against Connor's shoulder for awhile. He's saying kind things to me and comforting me. I cling to him. It's insane how close he and I have gotten over the last week. Connor is one of my best friends. If I wanted to I could tell him anything and I'm sure he wouldn't tell anyone. Everyone needs a buddy like Con Da Bon.
"Let's go to tree house and get you another drink." Connor says and I can tell from his tone that he's only going to let me have one. Troye had passed us some time ago but he didn't see us because we hid from him. We make our way to the tree house quickly and I can hear Troye moving around. I take a deep breath wiping at my eyes to make sure they are dry. They are.
We open the door and I see Troye with a cup of wine in his hand. He has the biggest smile on his face and I can't handle seeing it when I know why it's there. I grab some wine for Connor and I, then I start drinking before I ask Troye the thing I wish I never had to.
"So are you and Austin a thing now?" Troye looks down at his lap and smile that smile. The 'I'm falling for you and I don't even give a fuck' smile. The smile that Austin and I used to give each other. The smile I've seen so often in couples. The smile that I wish he was smiling for me.
"You could say that." he says taking a little sip of his wine then making a face. Apparently he doesn't like wine. He's so fucking hot and cute all at the same time. I can't decide if I want to fuck him or just cuddle him and be cute. I don't know fucking him sounds really good right now.
I take a deep drink almost draining my glass even though I know wine isn't meant to be drunken like that. I want to not give two fucks about anything at all. Connor starts talking about something then ten minutes later we are talking about secrets.
"So Tyler. You don't have to answer this if you don't want to. This is kind of really personal but I'm curious." Connor says and I nod at him to continue, "How did you come out to your family?"
A memory floods my head.
*Flashback*
I walk through the front door of my house slowly. I'm going to do it. I'm going to tell them. I head for the kitchen to grab a snack. The house is unusually quiet. I grab an apple out of the fruit basket and walk out of the kitchen to find my parents. I look around in the rooms they would usually be in then just head to the living room. I find them in there watching TV. My parents never do anything together and I'm the only one that uses the living room. That's strange.
"So Tyler I'm guessing you want to tell us something." My mother says with a small smile on her face. My father looks absolutely pissed off. Oh no maybe I should wait and tell them another time. No, Tyler you've already waited to long. You are about to be a freshman for crying out loud. If you don't do it now you're never going to do it.
"Yes. I don't know how to say this and this might change everything but it shouldn't have to." I look my mother in the eyes and the words I have been waiting to say to them for years tumbles out of my mouth. "I'm gay."
That's the final straw for my father his eyes widen and his mouth drops. He jumps up chasing me down until he catches me then he hits me with anything in his reach. My mom tries to pull him off of me but my dad turns around and hits her. Tears are in a constant stream down my face by this time. I thought they'd accept me. I didn't think the people that are supposed to love me unconditionally would beat the crap out of me.
"Don't you dare try to defend this disgusting worthless faggot." My father shouts and I flinch at each of his words. I take the opportunity of him yelling at my mother to run to my room quickly locking the door behind me. I hear my father racing to the door of my room and he throws his shoulder against the door knowing that I'm not dumb enough to leave it unlocked. I text my aunt telling her I'm coming over as I pack my most valuable items and some of my clothes. I wipe tears from my eyes as my father continues to scream at me. "You fucking disgrace of a human being! Come out of your room and face me like a man. You are a disgrace to the family and our Lord. You deserve to rot in hell."
"Dad I'm the same Tyler I have always been. I have always been gay. I will always be gay. You can't change me. Maybe one day you'll realize that I'm not what you say I am, I'm just a person with different preferences." I shout at him trying desperately not to let my voice shake or crack. I grab my duffle bag shoving my phone in my pocket and head towards the window. It's a struggle to open it between the new injuries and the duffle bag. My father is still repeatedly banging his shoulder against my door. I slide out of the first story window and run like I've never ran before. My aunt's is about half a mile from my house and I get there in what seems like seconds my breathing harsh and my legs on fire.
I throw the door open knowing that waiting is not a good option. I close the door behind me and my aunt gasps as she sees the cuts and already blooming bruises. She lightly touches my face and I wince. I already told my aunt I was gay about two years ago. She has been the kindest and most accepting person to me since then.
"Tyler what happened?" Tears are streaming down her face and she doesn't even know the worst part.
*End Flashback*
I tell them all about the memory I had just had. They are obviously both shocked. Most people think that I had a smooth sail out of the closet. They think that I still live with my parents. I don't I live with my aunt when I'm not at school. My parents still pay for school but only so I won't be near them. I don't tell them that. I don't want them to know how bad my life is really fucked up.
"Tell anyone and I will personally kill both of you." I say my words slurring pretty badly. Troye and Connor are in either side of me trying to comfort me. I don't need their comfort. I can deal with this myself. I stand up stumbling slightly then I head for the door and somehow get down the ladder with out dying.
The boys follow me as I walk to the bonfire. It's several minutes before we reach the blazing fire. Troye gives me a one armed hug before skipping off to his boyfriend. I look around for my friend Ethan, aka the kid I kissed in the dining hall. I slept him sitting with some of his friends. We don't usually hang out but he's a good kisser and he's cute. Nothing compared to Troye but at least he's here for me.
"TyTy." I hear Ethan call and I walk over to him. His friends get up leaving us alone and Ethan's face is shining with a smile. I lean in and peck him on the lips.
"Hey E." I say and he smiles then runs his tongue over his lip and makes a face. He doesn't like alcohol, shit. Oops. Maybe he'll still kiss me because this kid is infatuated with me.
"You taste like wine. It's a good thing you're fucking cute." he says and I pull him into a kiss. I try to forget about Troye kissing Austin on the other side of the fire. I glance over once to see Austin letting Troye wear his prized possession. His Varsity letterman jacket. I pull Ethan closed and start a conversation with him successfully blocking Troye out of my head for awhile. Eventually I can't take it anymore.
"E I'm tired I think I'm going to head back to my dorm." I lean in and kiss him shortly and he nods his head looking happy that I keep kissing him. I peck him on the lips before I stand up and walk away from the bonfire.
Tears find there way to my eyes as I walk back to my dorm. I get my things for a shower and slowly walk there. I take a quick shower mostly just wanting to get the smoky smell off of me. I fall into bed half clothed and tears still flowing.
He's not yours Austin James Moore. Troye's mine.
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A/N
You thirsty truckers thought Troye and Tilly were going to kiss? Wrong. Troystin is a thing officially now. Sorry bout it. It will a work out in the end. It killed me to write the Tyler coming out part. I can't even imagine that. Did you like this look inside TyTys brain? Who likes Ethan (red head)? If you like any part of this chapter:
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I love you my little Anti-Troystin people (I love the people who like Troystin also don't worry.
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