Lyri
I watch, bewildered, as the cot gets dragged in, complete with a few foul curses as Ezra and Thjis argue about how to get it through the doorway without banging up the doorframe.
"Fucking turn it upright, you jackass," Thjis snaps.
"I am, asshole," Ezra huffs back.
I watch warily as they push and pull until the bed is through the door and they can slam it (not gently) against the wall where previously there was a cocoon of blankets and a blow-up mattress. I knew that they had been getting sick of that thing. Last night Rhet was sleeping in here and became so frustrated with sinking through it to rest on the floor that his sleep was punctuated with frustrated growls. Neither of us slept well.
"Right, fuck that was annoying," Ezra sighs.
Thjis approaches me. "Time for a bath, female."
I clutch my blankets tightly. Don't get me wrong, I want a bath. I stink of medicine and blood and urine. I don't smell of males, anymore, thank goodness. Someone must have washed me down and despite everything I blush at the thought of that sort of intimacy. Especially when it was probably Thjis, a male who doesn't like me at all.
They've seen everything I have, but I still don't want to have a bath with them helping me. It just seems too intimate, too personal.
Thjis pulls at the blanket. Mutely, I shake my head and clutch the blankets tighter.
"Female," he grunts, "you need to wash."
"I'll do it by myself," I volunteer.
"You can't," he says, exasperated.
Yeah, I know I can't. I'm just stalling. Begrudgingly I relax my grip on the blankets. I can hear the tub filling in the bathroom that I've only had glimpses of. I wonder how long it's been since I was brought here, since that night.
"Alright," Ezra came back into the room with a cheerful swagger. "Bath's ready."
Thjis pulls the blanket off and I catch my breath. The sunlight streaming in through the window reveals my body in perfect definition. My skin is pale, swollen red in some places, stark white in others. Deep bruising decorates my abdomen which is still swollen from fluids. A bag is taped to my side, filled with yellow liquid that I try not to look at. My hips are splinted to keep them immobile, and I'm sure the hard plastic and tape hide even more bruises.
Thjis works quickly, gently pulling out the catheter and handing the bag to Ezra, who disappears into the bathroom. The splints are next, the tape snipped with scissors and pulled away from my body.
Soft whimpers pour from my mouth. I was right, even more damage is seen. My hips are covered in purple and green and yellow fingermarks. A glimpse of my inner thighs reveals the same angry purple bruising where male after male pressed his hips, his body, into me.
Turning, I vomit into the bowl that Ezra somehow has ready for me. "Shh, baby, don't look, OK?" Green and brown bile come up, the soup leaving my body easily until nothing but dry heaves are left. Ezra braves it all, holding still and making shushing noises while Thjis holds my shaking body.
Thjis scoops me up, this male always the one to carry me for some reason. His jaw ticks angrily as he carried me into the bathroom. Ezra starts to remove his clothes and I cry out, panicked. Thjis' grip tightens, "he's going to hold you, female, while I wash you. It's just a bath."
I stop moving. It hurts to fight, but I can't stop the sounds of panic emitting from my throat. Ezra steps into the bathtub and Thjis passes me over. He's still wearing underwear, thank goodness, but being naked and pressed against bare male skin is triggering every instinct to run. My wolf is scratching, clawing at the sensation. We need to escape.
Ezra sinks into the tub, the warm, fragrant water lapping over my sore body. More water is poured over my head while I gasp for precious oxygen.
"Rhet, we need you in here!" Thjis bellows out.
Rhet is there a moment later, swearing up and down. I go still, shrinking back from the dominant male. He's too dangerous for me. Dominant males don't like me. They hurt me.
"Lyri," he crouches down next to Thjis and captures my chin in his hand, "let Thjis bathe you. It will help you heal. Stop struggling."
My body goes lax at the commands. What else can I do? My she-wolf cowers, her ears laid flat against her head as she tries to make herself as small and unassuming as possible.
Thjis captures my attention when he starts to scrub my hair. I look at the hard planes of his face while I plead with him silently to take me back to the bed and leave me there. He ignores me, his face set in a deep scowl as he quickly washes me with the odd-smelling soap and water.
"Done," he announces, standing up and grabbing a big towel. He stands and takes me from the bath and swiftly into the bedroom.
"Almost done, sweetheart." Ezra races to change the sheets, whisking away the soiled ones without looking at me once. Carefully, Thjis places me down on the bed. I reach for the new blankets to pull over myself, but his hands stop me.
"I have to put the catheter back in, OK? Just one minute then you can eat and sleep." He rips open a bag and takes out the paraphernalia that lets me pee without soiling myself or the bedding. I close my eyes, letting him open my thighs.
The harsh sound of male breathing makes me quiver. I can feel the anger in the room rising like a stormcloud. Tears seep out of my closed eyelids, the warmth a stark contrast to how cold my skin feels.
"All done," Thjis says quietly. He pulls the blankets over me, giving me back my cocoon.
"Sit her up," Rhet says in a raspy voice. "I'll dry her hair."
Thjis pauses, his dark eyes meet mine. I wonder what he sees in them. Setting his jaw he nods and rearranges me. "I'll be back in a minute," he states.
I watch him leave, preferring Thjis' back over looking into Rhet's blue-eyes. What is it about this male that terrifies me so much?
He sits next to me, the bed dipping under his weight. I try desperately to distract myself.
What would it be like to be unafraid of a male's weight next to me?
No, think of something else. Not his warmth, his strength, his hands taking my hair and gently pulling it from behind me to dry the ends. Think of the sun, of that warmth, of that strength. A giant fireball in the sky that we forget about until it's blocked by the clouds. A force that could destroy us all but instead protects and feeds us energy. Like the ultimate alpha, fierce and nourishing. Nothing like the Moon, closer to us than the sun, but so cold and remote.
"All done," Rhet says softly. "Sleep, little Lyri."
I squeeze my eyes shut obediently, but I don't fall asleep for a long, long time.
---
Rhet
Thjis is leaning against the wall outside her door, his pants and shirt still soaking wet. Head bowed, he looks defeated.
"I didn't know it was that bad," I mutter to him. He just nods his head once, letting his chin fall to chest again. "Sorry. I know you've been doing everything for her. I'm sorry to heap this one on you."
I've been letting Ezra and Thjis take care of the little female because, damnit, I don't trust myself. Thjis didn't even want to bring her here. He wanted nothing to do with a rankwhore and yet he's the one stitching her back together.
"It's alright," he mumbles. "She's a tough one."
She didn't look tough. She was terrified, her heart racing so fast I was afraid it would burst. Her eyes... haunted and absent of anything but fear. My wolf presses against my skull. He wants to Mark her, mate her. He doesn't give a damn if she's terrified of males. He's wanted her since we first spotted the young female just over a year ago. Such a proud, strong female, a good mate. In his eyes she will give him strong pups.
She's the first female that he's really looked at since Sara died. I kept away from Lyri for a year until I heard about her Shaming. It was an opportunity, a chance to grab a female for myself and my brothers.
I didn't realize how terrible her Shaming would be. That night was a living nightmare. Something evil happened in the glade in the woods and I participated in it.
I don't deserve to touch her and I seriously doubt she will ever want me to.
I slip back into the room hours later. She's sleeping. She sleeps silently, this female. No snoring, no noise, a deep sleeper. It's good for her, good for her healing.
I collapse onto the cot, shoving the blankets to the floor. This little guest suite has its own heating unit. Before Lyri we only used it when someone from my former pack came to visit. We jacked the heat up higher for her than the rest of the house.
I'm asleep when the nightmare begins. I leap to my feet. We all know the drill. Lyri is thrashing, her body twisting in the blankets she has wrapped around her. Sobs and pleas that break my fucking heart echo in the room.
"Please stop," she cries out. Then, "why her? Why is this happening?"
"Shush, pretty, Lyri, it's alright," I soothe her from a distance. We learned the hard way that we make her panic worse, even in her sleep. When she doesn't settle down I get closer. Carefully, without touching her skin, I unwrap her tangled blankets.
"Lyri, quiet down, it's alright. You're not hurt, pretty."
She quiets down, still whimpering. Her hair is plastered to her face from sweat. I'm glad to see that Thjis remembered to re-splint her legs. I can see her bruised face in the dawn light. She seems to always have nightmares as her body starts to wake at the beginning of the day.
I hear the door creak open behind me. I swear under my breath. I assume it's Ezra. It's my night, but Ez always tries to creep up on my time with Lyri. It's apparently not enough that he sees her more during the day while I ride the ranch.
"Rhet?" the youthful voice makes me swear harder.
"Inuit, I told you to steer clear of this room," I scold him quietly.
He ignores me, a tough little bastard, he knows when I'm serious or not. "She's pretty," he says.
I turn from watching Lyri to see Inuit, with his little shadow, Sarg, not far behind, looking down at Lyri in surprise.
"They talk about her in school. They say she's a... a bad female. That she seduced the alphason."
I glance back at Lyri, relieved to see that her nightmare has ended, but she's not awake to hear Inuit's innocent, but barbed, question.
"This is Lyri, Inuit." I don't address the rumors of Lyri being a bad female. I really don't know her well enough to form an opinion, though I hope that changes.
He creeps forward more. "Will you keep her? She's pretty."
I suppress the chuckle. If only life were that simple. Just keep her? "I hope she'll agree to stay, but she's been badly hurt and-"
"Is that why the females is always cryin'?" Sarj pipes up.
"What?" I grab a clean blanket to tuck around a shivering Lyri.
"Some of the females... in school... they say if they break the rules they get," Sarj takes a deep breath, "a punish-pun-punish-ment." He breathes again after struggling to spit out his words.
I give him an encouraging smile despite the seriousness of the question. Two years ago we found the two pups in the wild while traveling back to Genom after visiting my parents. Sarj was underweight, a scrawny pup, and Inuit wasn't much better off. Sarj didn't speak to the three of us for five months. He's still a quiet pup, and when he does speak he struggles to get his words out correctly.
If Lyri stays, I'm hoping a female presence will help Sarj feel more comfortable. It can't be easy to be raised by hard males with nothing to soften life.
"Who are these handsome males?" A soft voice makes me jerk around.
Lyri is gazing at the pups in surprise, her eyes soft and the tiniest smile curving her lips.
"You're pretty," Inuit blurts out.
"Thank you," she says, some of the softness dims, sorrow flashing across her face.
"Hi," Sarj whispers.
"Hello," Lyri says to him, her smile brightens again. Goddess, she's a pretty female.
"Do you want to have breakfast today, Lyri?" I ask her on impulse. "With us," I amend.
Her eyes look at me, studying me. I know she's wondering what I'm up to, but I'm not ready to go there, to take her there.
"Sure," she says, looking back at the pups.
"Cool!" Inuit bounces from the room, hollering over his shoulder, "I'll set the table!"
Thjis comes into the room just as I predicted he would. He's scowling, but he doesn't fool me. I may have forced him to be her caretaker, but he likes doing things for her. I'm not letting him take over, though. Not this morning.
"Let's get her ready, then I'll bring her to the kitchen," I say casually.
Thjis' eyes narrow on me for a split second, but that's the only reaction I get.
Lyri blushes when Thjis pulls the covers off of her. "How are you feeling after the bath?" he asks her.
"Better," she responds. One word that can mean many things.
Thjis grunts in response. Neither Lyri or I look as he takes the bag from her and disappears into the bathroom. I stroke her cheek, keeping her eyes on me as he does what he needs to. Her body is trembling slightly and Thjis growls out, "she needs something warmer to wear."
He stomps out of the room and returns with a pair of Inuit's long johns and one of his own long-sleeve shirts.
I hide my smirk as I help him dress her. So, my brother wants his scent on our-the female.
"OK, pretty, you ready?" I ask her.
"Careful of her stitches and the bag," Thjis snaps, glaring at me.
I lift her carefully and have to pause. She's light and soft in my arms. The scent of medicine can't hide the femininity underneath. She's a little stiff in my embrace, but she's not fighting me. I wonder how that will change when she knows what I did to her? When she remembers, if she remembers?