smoke & mirrors
◤five◥
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She had become a star student.
Janson had started giving Evanna jobs that required more than just protecting officials or people from the council. In fact, he had given her more jobs in general, as well as more responsibility. He granted her her own permanent team. People of which he said she could rely on no matter what.
Evan had given only one condition when Janson offered her the promotion; Garek goes with her. She didn't care that he was not yet on the same level as the guards overseeing the border. But it was simple: where she went, Garek followed. Evan made sure of it.
Janson complied easily. Evanna guessed he was probably just relieved that that had been her only request. It was easy enough. All he had to do was transfer Garek to a different Unit. Evan's Unit.
Staring at herself in the mirror, Evan gently poked her forehead, as if the simple act would revive all her lost memories. Unsurprisingly, nothing happened. All she felt was her finger prodding her skin. She locked eyes with herself and saw something she hadn't seen since she arrived at the WICKED facility; determination.
Evan had yet to tell anyone about what she remembered. She would repeat Minho's name in her head every so often. Just to be sure it would not leave her again, she had written his name in a notebook over and over again. She had described him as a friend. As someone who didn't trust her at first, but ended up saving her life when a something had exploded.
Where had that happened?
Minho
Evan shook her head and gripped the sink tightly. Garek didn't know either. She hadn't told him. Evan wasn't sure if she wanted to tell him. He had a heart of gold, but couldn't lie to save his life. There was a chance he would break if Janson interrogated him about Evanna's recent odd behavior.
But then, Janson had been so busy lately. Way too busy to notice Evan's change in demeanor. He hadn't even questioned the complete 180 she had done after the meeting. He mostly figured it was because of what she had heard, had seen, and how she had agreed with it.
So she had come up with a plan.
Evanna had worked and trained hard for days on end, taking jobs and fulfilling tasks no one else would. Eventually she became the best of the best, and Janson had rewarded her with more higher-ranking jobs and responsibility. He had given her a way to the city outside. He had given her a way to find someone who was surely able to help her with her memories.
She should tell Garek that, too, but she hadn't. Evan didn't know whether to feel guilty or not. Garek had helped her so much, had done so much. He was the only one there for her, trying to understand what she was going through and not making fun of her for it. And yet she had told him nothing.
Minho
He suspected something, though. Evan could tell by the way he looked at her and continuously asked if she was okay. He was wondering why she was so invested in becoming a higher rank all of a sudden.
Garek knew Evan all too well. It was only a matter of time before he figured out what she was up to. Especially when she would ask him today if he was up for another trip to the library.
There was only one reason why Evan wanted to go there anymore and it had nothing to do with researching fighting techniques and tips on handling weapons. Garek knew this.
When she would ask him, paired with the frequent trips to the top of the wall with binoculars and a map, Garek will figure out what she was up to. It was just not clear whether he would hate her for not telling him.
Sighing, Evan pulled her hair back in a low ponytail. She splashed water in her face and readied herself to play the dutiful and loyal guard for another day. It would all be worth it, though. It would be once she found who she was looking for.
There was a knock on her door. Evan took a deep breath.
"Five minutes, miss."
Evan didn't comment on the 'miss' anymore. She had taken on the role and she would play it well. Opening the door, she stepped out of her room, mustering up all the arrogance she could. Sometimes it scared her how easily she slipped into this character. The other guard tried to hide her disdain. Evan smiled sickly sweet.
"Show the way," she said, pointing down the hall. The guard suppressed a huff. Evan pushed down the urge to say sorry, to take it back.
It was because of this recent behavior that Janson promoted her, seeing her potential in becoming a leader to more than small squads. Evan had taken it immediately. She couldn't waste another day. It had been the only time Janson paid close enough attention to see the change.
Garek was waiting in the lobby. He was leaning against a wall, staring at his shoes. His arms were crossed over his chest and he had a frown on his face. He looked up when Evan approached him. There was no smile, no joke or boyishly winking. Evan swallowed thickly.
She knew then and there that Garek had figured it out. Even before she had asked him to join her in the library. He had figured out everything and he didn't look too pleased about not having been informed sooner.
Suppressing the guilt for now, Evan dismissed the other guard and walked over to him alone. Garek didn't move. For some reason, it unnerved Evanna even more.
"Hi," she said, somewhat awkwardly.
Garek raised a brow. "Hi? That's all you have to say to me?"
"Lovely weather we're having?"
Minho
Minho
Rolling his eyes, he scoffed and shook his head. Evan hid her shaking hands in the pockets of her pants. She had to maintain a reputation. One she disliked herself for, but she could never tell if someone was watching her. If someone reported back to Janson that his new favorite guard had any weakness at all, she would be back to protecting officials.
"When did you plan on telling me?" Garek asked. He kept his voice low, barely above a whisper. But even then, Evan could hear the hurt clear as day.
Minho
I'm sorry
Evan inhaled sharply. She couldn't do this. Not here. Not in the building where she felt like everyone was watching her.
She grabbed Garek by the elbow gently and pulled him along through the doors and to the outside. She walked over to a couple of benches that were there more for decoration than anything. WICKEDs employees rarely took the time to sit outside and enjoy the day. Garek followed her actions as she sat down.
"I was going to tell you," Evan said after a while. "I swear. I just ... I wanted to wait until I'd found out more. Until I was sure where he was."
"I could've helped you."
"I know, I know, but I didn't want you to get any more involved than you already were," Evan admitted. "I don't know what WICKED will do if they find out what I've been researching, or when they find out what we've discovered. Best case scenario we get fired, but during that meeting ... I don't know, Garek. I get the feeling that WICKED is under too much pressure to deal with us so kindly if they find out."
Garek bit his lip and averted his eyes to the ground. "I need you to tell me everything. Leave nothing out."
She knew he wouldn't drop it. Not even after what she told him. She had hoped, but Evan should have known better than that. She knew she didn't have any other option than telling Garek about everything. If she stalled any longer, Garek would stop asking and eventually, he would stop caring. So she told him everything.
She told him about the constant frustratingly vague dreams; the boy with the brown hair and brown eyes, the ones that were kind yet intimidating. The ones that seemed to trust her, yet also didn't. She told him about taking double the pills she was told to take, about remembering Minho's name during the meeting with the Chancellor.
She told him about the past few nights she had spent in the library, going through every book she could get her hands on, in hopes of finding another note. She told him how she had found one. One that described a place underground, outside the wall. A place marked by a symbol above ground. A place where the Sandman had urged Andrea to go before it was too late.
For what, she didn't know. But it wasn't hard to guess.
She confessed to him why she had acted all high and mighty ever since she was called into that meeting. Why she went to the top of the wall every day, but in a different spot with a map and a pair of binoculars.
All the while, Evan's heart was racing. Her shoulders were tense, her hands clammy. She was on high alert. Her ears were straining to hear every sound around her. She couldn't afford to be careless. Not now when she was telling Garek everything, not when they were so close to WICKED.
She would have preferred to do this anywhere else, but Evanna could see that Garek was done being in the dark. If she had asked him to go anywhere, if she had told him to hold on for a little longer, he would have left.
He would have taken it as just another diversion, an excuse not to tell him. She didn't want that anymore. Truth was, she needed Garek. She needed someone to talk to about all of this. Someone who would understand her.
She realized this when she lay all cards on the table and all she felt was not anxiety, but relief. Relief that she could finally tell someone about everything that had happened the past couple of weeks.
She looked at Garek when she was done. Her eyes were wide and her breathing shallow from talking so fast. Garek only nodded. She almost pleaded for him to say something. Anything. He needed to remind her that it was okay. That she would be okay. Opening her mouth to tell him that, he stopped her.
"Fuck," he whispered. He ran a hand through his hair and started chuckling disbelievingly. "Fuck."
Evan joined in, breathlessly and somewhat confused. Her shoulders relaxed a little at hearing his reaction. Letting out a deep sigh, she dragged a hand over her face. "Fuck is accurate, my friend."
"Well shit," Garek said. "if you'd told me this sooner I could've helped looking every time we went up that wall. I've just been fooling around because I thought you were pulling our leg," he shook his head. Finally, he lifted his gaze and looked at her. "Fuck, Evan, but this? This is amazing!"
"I can tell by how much you're swearing," she said, staring at the people who had looked over at them after Garek's shout of glee.
He playfully pushed her shoulder and rolled his eyes. "I'm serious."
"So was I."
"Evan," he said, his tone indicating that he was being sincere. "if we find him, like actually find him, you'll finally remember what happened to you."
She nodded. Hope blossomed in her chest. She pushed it down and crushed it before it spread to every part of her. She couldn't afford to be hopeful yet. Not until she found that symbol the Sandman had told Andrea about.
"I know."
Garek clapped his hands. Evan raised her brows at him, looking at him expectantly. He threw her toothy grin. "Well come on, then. What's this symbol I need to be on the lookout for?"
Evan smiled at him. She suddenly couldn't remember why she had been so unsure of telling Garek everything before now. She was happy she had, though. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Garek didn't mind sharing the load.
Evanna had read the Sandman's note to Andrea many times. She had researched its description and meaning. She didn't need something to help her remember what it was. If she were being honest, she really liked it whenever that happened.
Minho
"It's something called a trinity knot," Evanna started. Garek only watched her. "I didn't know what it was so I looked it up. Apparently it's a Gaelic symbol that stands for, well, many things, but the Sandman made a point of saying there was a circle around it. And I'm pretty sure that the trinity knot with a circle means unity in spirit," she paused. Then, "I think it's an underground organization fighting WICKED."
Garek stared at her for a while. Then he took a deep breath and nodded. "Alright. I'll keep an eye out for it."
She frowned. "That's it? That's all you're going to say?"
He threw a smile her way. "Lovely weather we're having."
Evan chuckled. She looked at him gratefully. "So you don't think I've gone ... completely crazy?"
"What did I tell you last time, Evan?" Garek draped an arm around her shoulders. "You've always been crazy."
She let her head rest on his shoulder. Her lips curled into a smile and Evan didn't fight it. It was the first genuine one she had had in a while. For the second time, she wasn't sure why she hadn't told Garek about it all earlier.
"So what will we do once we find this mark?" Garek asked as he tugged at the hem of his sleeve.
Evan shrugged. "I'm not sure. I guess we try to get to the other side of the wall and see for ourselves what exactly Andrea got herself into."
"You considered that whoever is waiting there might just shoot us on the spot?"
She bit her lip. "Yes."
"Is that why you wanted to leave me out of it?" Garek asked.
"Partially," Evan muttered, hoping he wouldn't ask for the other reason. She couldn't begin to explain to Garek why she hadn't trusted him with all this information. She wasn't going to try either.
Luckily, he only nodded. "Well, you know what they say, 'curiosity killed the cat' and all that."
Evan chuckled and jabbed him in the ribs. Garek jolted and let out a small shriek. "I'm kind of hoping no one gets killed," she lifted her head and grinned at him. "But if you do get shot, it'll be entirely your own fault and I won't hesitate to remind you of that."
"Yes, ma'am," Garek saluted.
Looking around, Evan noticed that more people were starting to come out of the building. She glanced at the digital clock on a building across the street and sighed. As if on cue, her stomach grumbled.
"We should probably get lunch if we want to be on time for our shift," she told Garek. "I can't believe I wasted my entire morning telling someone about my issues. It's therapy all over again."
"I wouldn't say it was a complete waste," Garek said. Evan frowned in confusion. He winked at her. "At least you got to spend it with me. Plus, unlike your last therapist 'helping' with your memories, I'm not charging you. Although I can think of a few ways you can make it up to me."
He wiggled his eyebrows. Evan laughed loudly and pushed him away. For a second, she didn't care who was staring at them, or how they looked. She rolled her eyes at him but a smile made its way on her lips anyway.
"Gross," she said. "not even if you were the last guy on Earth. Save it for the desperate ones."
"Wha – but you're my friend," Garek put a hand over his heart, feigning a hurt look. "Who else am I supposed to practice my charm on?"
"Anyone who isn't me."
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hello, it me. i know it's a little short but i didn't want to add unnecessary stuff so i hope you guys like it. again, sorry for the long wait. i finally had some inspiration to write for this story and i hope it's not too all over the place. i don't know when i'll be updating next since i've been super busy lately.
i applied to unis and got accepted but for the one i want to go to i have to do a sat subject test because my math wasn't good enough. since i graduated high school last year, the sat subject test is my only option to improve it so i'm studying for that now yay (pls send help).
anyway, enough about that. i wish you guys the loveliest of days and wish you luck if you have any upcoming exams or deadlines.
i hope you enjoyed! leave a comment and or vote. i would really appreciate it.
- saz