Zuo Shan'er blankly stared at the cloudless sky. She was at Lady Mei Gui's residence in Lingdi, sitting docilely at the central courtyard, the small garden currently teeming with spring blooms. At times, lone butterflies fluttered past to land on the bed of flowers close to where she was.
A picture of harmony; a beautiful young woman, with an expression as pure as a newborn baby - a real-life painting of innocence. The butterflies fluttered close to her ink-jet black hair, some graced her shoulders.
As if she was a part of the blooming garden itself, just another stalk of flower they were willing to grace.
Nevertheless, Zuo Shan'er kept her cloudy gaze affixed at the sky, as if she was seeing nothing, feeling nothing at all. Her lips were lightly tugged upwards in what seemed to be a smile but not. It was an unchanging non-expression ever seen on her porcelain pale face.
Cao Lu and Xiao Zi stood at a distance, their own gaze mixed with pity with a twinge of indifference.
"The most fortunate one is probably her." Cao Lu snorted, "The troublemaker ended up having the best fate of all, conveniently forgetting what she has done."
"If even forgetting the one she loves is called fortunate... ." Xiao Zi murmured. Cao Lu sighed in response,
"Foolish girl. One should know when to give up."
Lingdi had finally been liberated from Daemons. A few full moons had passed; although there had been no news from the Emperor or about the Imperial City that also supposedly had Daemon problems, the group of young Dao cultivators did not dare to march onward before the arrival of their elders in Lingdi.
And those elders really did finally arrive. The Sages from Chun Ping Gu sect, Wu Shan sect, and Hui Lin sect reached Lingdi merely days ago. The town was still thriving, although it haf lost the majority of the imperial soldiers stationed there - who had turned into Daemons and subsequently subdued prior their arrival. The Sages had also brought a fair few of seasoned Dao cultivators to set up a temporary stronghold. More beast-masters and Enlighteneds and Sages from other sects had also joined the cause. As best as they could, they had also subdued and purified surrounding small villages that had suffered similar catastrophe.
Cao Lu and Xiao Zi had found out that Lady Mei Gui had been evicted from the imperial harem since a while ago, and ultimately ended up stationing herself in Lingdi, taking into account the safety that it should have provided. After all, Lingdi was a stronghold town. Who would have known that everything would turn to hell in such a short time.
Lingdi, thankfully, still had a fair amount of survivors - normal humans that had gotten away from Daemons or from being turned into one. When the first breakout happened, although Lady Mei Gui was not too informed about the whole Daemon issue, she was smart enough to notice the anomaly of some soldiers that had turned berserk. Those were apparently the ones that had turned into Daemons early.
She managed to convince a fair few of townspeople to settle in the quietest part of town. A messenger had been dispatched to seek aid from the Imperial City, but none had ever seen him back in Lingdi again.
The whole predicament told Lady Mei Gui that the situation was likely to be more dire than anticipated. However, with a number of townfolks under her management and protection, she could not just bring a few guards and escape by herself.
She was an upper-ranked Martial-Artist, and so were her guards. They could probably afford to escape from town themselves. But the commoners would not stand a chance.
Only when she heard from her informant that a bunch of cultivators had encountered trouble in town did she bring some of her most able guards out of their hiding place to observe the situation. She had overestimated her ability of course, by taking the Daemons head on, but at least she was reunited with her daughter, Xiao Zi, in the end.
After the ordeal, Lady Mei Gui had become a temporary leader for the town and had set up a barrack to look after the Daemons who had been purified. They were very much humans now, but as always, had lost all their cultivation base and past memories, leaving them as nothing but empty husks. Perhaps, one day they could return to normal, but as of the moment, all of them had to be taken care of by others.
A lot of the ex-Daemons had loved ones who had been protected by Lady Mai Gui, so the remaining people took it upon themselves to look after their families and friends.
Lady Mei Gui, having known Zuo Shan'er ever since the latter was but a toddler, decided to care for her as well.
Looking at Zuo Shan'er, drool involuntarily escaped from the corner of her lips, Cao Lu shuddered. Her two brothers had almost become like her too, a useless vegetable. Although Zuo Shan'er might be pitiful, Cao Lu refused to sympathize with such a person.
"Besides, our Ping sect is clearly the loser here," Cao Lu mused bitterly, "We lost our pure yin maiden."
Xiao Zi nodded, "YuLan practically disappeared one night. None of us could even sense her going. She... is truly now a Sage, isn't she?" There was a trace of wistfulness and admiration in her voice, "But Lei is now like that... . How could we even admonish her for having left just like that?"
"If... if something were to happen to Mother, or to Ao Xiang-shiong, I probably would have done the same."
Cao Lu stared at her Shimei with conflicted expression. A matter of the heart, one probably less severe than the others. After all, Xiao Zi and Ao Xiang were more likely to have blessing from both sects, than Ji YuLan and Zuo ZhouLei would.
Besides, although Cao Lu was supposed to be impartial, but there was truth in Xiao Zi's words. If the same thing were to happen to her two brothers, she would also give up on the world.
"Never mind!" Cao Lu slapped her Shimei's shoulder lightly, "Now that I re-think it, it's actually Wu Shan sect that is the most pitiful. Not only did our Yin maiden end up kidnapping their prodigy, their senior disciple also disappeared as well!"
Xiao Zi chuckled in response. Although their current predicament and uncertain future was hardly anything humorous, she had to find the littlest liveliness in her current life,
"Ah... perhaps the three of them are together now, just trying to make ZhouLei better?"
It was a wishful thinking, but they both hoped it was true.
"Sage Zhu Hong is not too impressed though." Cao Lu winced at the frosty face she suddenly remembered.
"Yes, why is she always so fixated about what Ah-Lan does? I think ZhouLei is an excellent man, he's only a few years younger." Xiao Zi added softly, "And I owe him my Mother's life... . All our lives, actually. It could be said that he became like that, to save us."
The prodigy of Wu Shan sect, a Royal Prince born by the late Lady Shuan Bing. He was one that was supposed to have boundless future; had managed to become an Enlightened in his teens; was able to sustain five spirit beasts summoned by a beast-master at the same time; was the liberator of Lingdi as he controlled a Fire Phoenix as tall as a mountain with qi as pure as the Dao.
Such a person had become a waste; a dragon that used to roam the sky must now be living on ground. He was even unable to fly on sword anymore.
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It was a secluded valley, lush with the thickets of tall bamboo trees. One would think that there must had been a settlement a long time ago around the vicinity, as there were some relatively intact structures, remnants of a settlement. Some old cobbled pathways could also be seen on the moss covered ground, aged and cracked, what must have been the old roads used long ago.
However, when they found the area, it was completely empty. Perhaps it was because the harsh location of the place, rugged with mountains and hills. Although the beautiful scenery was dabbed with greeneries that looked as if it had come out of a painting, the only way to reach the thickets was to cross a decrepit rotting wooden bridge that led towards a waterfall that seemed to keep going into the abyss below. Combined with the denseness of the trees, the vapor of the waterfall made the surrounding air a bit stuffy.
"I am truly alright." Zuo ZhouLei smiled towards Shen Wei. The latter only bit his lower lip in anxiety,
"But, I think it is still best if we can return to our Shifu. Perhaps there is an ancient record, a treasure pill, a method somewhere, that could give you your cultivation back." Shen Wei protested. He had been trying to convince his Shidi to seek help from their elders ever since Zuo ZhouLei's Dantians were found to be empty.
Zuo ZhouLei rolled his eyes, "DaShixiong, you are such a worrywart, you know."
A soft feminine chuckle was heard from the door. Both men turned to look at a young woman garbed entirely in white. She had her arms crossed, looking amused as she observed both men's exchanges with mirth in her eyes.
Shen Wei could not help but to huff in indignation, "YuLan, are you truly alright with this? Zuo ZhouLei deserves better! There must be another way!"
YuLan smiled lightly and focused her gaze towards Zuo ZhouLei, her face calm in silent enquiry.
The latter merely shrugged in response, "I am fine as I am."
"You are just running away!" Shen Wei growled in exasperation. He just wanted to drag his Shidi by the collar of his robe and then perhaps conduct a Wu Shan sect' crisis meeting.
Zuo ZhouLei had lost his cultivation. The Fire Phoenix that he had sustained, to liberate the whole town of Lingdi, had practically emptied his Dantians. How could Shen Wei stand to see his beloved martial brother wasting away in a secluded place like this? Especially as he himself knew that Zuo ZhouLei had also saved his life back in Lingdi by doing what he had done. More so, Shen Wei blamed himself for that and felt responsible for Zuo ZhouLei's current state.
"I should be able to find something to help him, if only he's willing to return to Wu Shan sect with me!" Shen Wei added, almost pleading.
"I will only do whatever Lei wishes to do." YuLan replied softly, walking towards the young man while extending her hand. As Zuo ZhouLei took her outstretched hands and leaned forward to lay his head on her palms, Shen Wei groaned. It caused Zuo ZhouLei to laugh while closing his eyes, as he pulled the maiden lightly closer. Without resistance, YuLan let her body be positioned to sit on the younger man's lap.
Shen Wei's groan got louder, and he covered his face with his palm.
"DaShixiong." Zuo ZhouLei murmured, his voice barely audible as he spoke in a muffled tone, his face half buried at the crook of YuLan's neck,
"I have died once, or so you have constantly been reminding me ever since I gained consciousness. All I want now is to live for myself." He lifted his head, and looked into YuLan's eyes,
"And for this woman. I am selfish, and I have to apologize to you because of that. Please... , tell Shifu and the rest of our brothers that I had died."
There was a melancholic tone in his voice, although he tried to make his voice as indifferent a possible, "With how I am... . I might as well have died."
Shen Wei threw his hands in the air, "You could easily say that! What about YuLan then? Is she dead as well? With you deciding to just disappear, and for me to turn a blind eye, do you expect me to tell Ping sect that their Yin maiden is also no longer? Who would believe that? She is a Sage!"
YuLan replied, squeezing Zuo ZhouLei's hands in her palms, "Shen Wei-xiong. If Lei decided to live, then I shall live with him. If he decided that he was dead to the world, then I would be with him still."
"I owe him a lot, and not just our love. In my last lifetime, I left him alone. This time, I won't. To hell with Daemons, to hell with cultivation. For every day that Lei lives, YuLan would too."
Silence befell them. Finally Shen Wei sighed as he walked slowly to exit the small house. He paused by the door sill, his lips parted in silence for a few times. Then he took a deep breath and murmured softly, his voice might be inaudible to Zuo ZhouLei who had lost his cultivation, but he knew that his words - imbued with his qi, and meant for YuLan's ears only, would be clearly transmitted to the latter,
"If Lei could not gain his cultivation back, or if we just gave up as we are now... , one day he would grow old physically, much older than you. Mortal death would come to him much faster. Would your love still withstand such test of time? Your time would stop for a long while still, but he'd leave you behind."
"Yin maiden Ji YuLan, knowing this, would you still do what he wishes to do?"
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Time seemed to pass slowly in the valley, as if nothing else in the world mattered. Shen Wei left the valley every once in a while, presumably to find news about the outside world, perhaps to rendezvous with his sect's martial brothers and elders. But neither YuLan and Zuo ZhouLei bothered to ask him or talk about it. For them, Shen Wei was always a welcomed companion, but they wanted to no longer pay attention to the rest of the world.
Tens of full moons passed, and Zuo ZhouLei's youthful face matured into a man in his late twenties. His face gradually resembled closely to the Ji SongLi YuLan knew. She just loved him all the more, as if her love would not stop growing.
However, although the man had always acted affectionately towards her, he always refrained from taking that one last step; the one boundary that still separated them into two different people, not a pair of one heart and flesh. She craved for his touch, but she had promised herself that she would do whatever Zuo ZhouLei wanted to do.
Although Zuo ZhouLei continued to meditate based on his sect's teaching, and his physique was as fit as a normal man, his Dantians were still dormant. It aggrieved Shen Wei and YuLan, but all they could do was watch over him.
If there was one occasion that was worth celebrating, was that after two full moons of deep meditation in the valley, Shen Wei managed to breakthrough to Sageism.
Zuo ZhouLei became the sole person needing to sustain himself with proper meals, causing the two Sages to also learn how to cook. It was certainly not a problem for YuLan, who had managed a tea-house in her previous lifetime. However, after a few cases of burnt houses, YuLan and Zuo ZhouLei decided to ban Shen Wei from the kitchen.
YuLan and Shen Wei had their own sparring sessions as well, being the only two in the valley who could match each other. The two had cleared a sizeable area of the forest to practice, or even use the rugged landscape of the mountains nearby to test their speed.
YuLan wished badly that the forlorn expression on Zuo ZhouLei's face as he watched his lover and his senior brother dance together with their blades, was not one full of longing. Still, Zuo ZhouLei never let his gentle smile falter, and he kept strumming YuLan's guqin that he had been playing lately in his plenty of spare time.
YuLan was glad that she brought her guqin along when she left Ping sect years ago. She had always had 'SongLi' to ease her loneliness during her days when she was still trying to locate Zuo ZhouLei, Cao Lu, and the others. Now that she could be with Zuo ZhouLei, it was as if the guqin had returned to the rightful owner.
If 'SongLi' was hers, she was Ji SongLi's, as she was now Zuo ZhouLei's. He was her heart's lord, as was she was his heart's mistress.
At times, she even sang his song together - the song that he had sung to her in their past lifetime together; the song that she had sung to him as they bid their temporary farewell at Hui Lin sect years ago. For a Sage, time was a trivial matter, almost as insignificant as the blade of grass cut by the wind. But for YuLan, every moment spent with him was etched into the deepest layer of her heart.
[Just wish to be with my beloved;]
[Wishing to be as eternal as the universe;]
[Loving you, loving you.]
[May we always be together in this life.]
[I... will accompany you forever.]
One morning, YuLan was looking for Zuo ZhouLei. She knew the man's habit. Every early morning, before the sun even graced the dawn's sky with its orange hues, Zuo ZhouLei would find a quiet place to meditate. YuLan or Shen Wei would find him to remind him to have his meal, after which he would then walk around the valley with either Yulan or Shen Wei, or both.
For YuLan, it was a perfect life, if not for her to constantly thinking about the limited time Zuo ZhouLei had.
That morning, YuLan could not find him in the small clearing of the bamboo forest - the one place that Zuo ZhouLei frequented more than the others.
She decided to visit the waterfall, the other place that Zuo ZhouLei favoured. He usually hardly ever used the waterfall for meditation, but he liked the cooling sensation of the water's vapor. True to her guess, as soon as she jumped nimbly onto the wet rocks that dotted the top of the waterfall, she heard a faint sound of guqin. Amongst the raging sound of the water falling from the height of where she was standing, she heard a hum of a man's voice.
A familiar voice that sounded almost ethereal, as if it was a melody sung by the water. She jumped down onto another ledge of rocks, towards the source of sound, then she heard him. It was a song she had never heard before, but it was undoubtedly his voice.
After the soft hum reverberated along with the water as a musical aid, he sang,
[Having taken that extra glance at you, amongst the crowd]
[Ever since then, no longer able to forget your face]
[Always dreaming of a chance to meet again someday]
[Constantly missing you and feeling lonely]
YuLan faintly thought that she must be in heaven.
(Please do give the song a listen. (1))
The blurry image of his visage, although still partly hidden by the curtain of the ever falling water, still pulled on her heartstrings. She felt like a teenager in love.
No. It was definitely more than that. What she felt towards him was more than love; it was sense of longing, sense of belonging. Feeling of finding her lost half and breathing the very air that she needed to live.
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Notes:
(1) The song is called Chuan Qi (传奇), originally composed by Li Jian (李健). He is a very talented composer and singer, whose lyrics are always poetic and has that soothing feel. The song has been sung by Faye Wong as well, so her version is probably the more well-known one. I preferred Li Jian's.
The song means 'Legend', and I think it fits the tale of YuLan and Lei perfectly.