“Ugh” I yelled at the person annoying me for the past 10 minutes.
“It’s hiking day!!” I realized that it was Tracy because who else could be excited about hikes other than her.
After bickering with everyone in the room for a while, I finally gave up and got out of bed. I got ready for the hike straight away and got out of the room in the end as always.
We were supposed to assemble in the no man’s land after breakfast for the instructions about the so-called hike just that it was a really long walk not on mountains but in a humongous restricted area of the jungle that was conditioned so that no dangerous animal could enter.
“Each one of you will be assigned a partner with whom you will spend most of the day with. The walk will start from a common point and you will have to use the map to get to the treasure in the jungle and get back to the no man’s land. The first pair to do that will be the winner and will become the kings or queens of the camp for the day.”
Brandon talked about the walk for quite a long time and
on hearing all of that, our reactions were as mixed as the chocolate chip in a milkshake, you don’t know about its existence until you are drinking and it’s in your mouth and you bite it and the flavors burst into your mouth.
I, on the other hand, was pretty excited about it not because I would have to walk and work with a random human being all day but because winning such a trivial game and becoming the queen of the entire camp was an attractive prize for me. It might be meaningless for a lot of people but for me, it was the best thing ever because I for one love surprises, understanding clues and finding stuff.
But little did I know that the universe had not stopped conspiring against me.
“However, once again you will not be given the choice to choose your partner and no matter what you will be taking a part in the hunt with the assigned person only or you will not be able to become the winner” Jack commanded being the strict one in the pair of camp instructors we had
The list went on and on but I didn’t get my partner so when Brandon asked if he missed anyone I raised my hand only to hear a round of laughter and gasps and cusses.
“What is going on?” I asked David who was standing beside me.
“Ra, don’t freak out okay but look around you.”
I do what he says and look around only to find out just one more hand raised up along with mine and that being Alex’s.
“Holy mother of...” I said in an instant as soon as I recognized that bracelet on that hand.
“Well I guess then you both are the last pair.” Brandon announced.
“Hey it is not as bad as it seems, it is just a game” Tracy came to me and said that to make me feel better and not lose hope on something I was so excited to be a part of.
“Yeah.right. Because knowing him, he doesn’t give a shit about this game until he is challenged and given that he has been paired with me there is not one possibility that he would even go into the jungle with me to even try and win. So yeah it is not as bad as it looks just my dreams of winning this one game I was excited to take a part in are crushed.” I smiled at her sarcastically after completing my blabbering.
I went and stood at the starting point knowing that I’ll have to go in the jungle alone and that even though I could not win and was scared to go all alone, I will have to go. I needed to go for myself.
But did I forget that I and my life never fail to surprise me.
He simply came and stood beside me. No explanation, no exchange of sentences, just came and stood there; ready for the hunt to begin.
The game started and we were handed over our maps. He gestured to give the map to him. I guess after knowing me for 5 years he knew how much I sucked at understanding directions. He looked around and into the map a couple of times and started walking. When I didn’t move he looked back with a confused and commanding look and I realized he wanted me to follow him. Well, I guess this just how I survive this game now.
Looks and unsaid conversations.
After about an hour of me silently following him, I asked for the map and checked if he was just making a fool out of me and taking us the wrong way as a form of revenge or was he actually trying to take part.
I saw the map and realized that none of the clues fit to where we were standing and instantly got mad at him.
He was looking the other way when I started yelling.
“Seriously lex! I can’t find any of the clues that are supposed to be here! What the hell! Don’t tell me you didn’t do this on purpose. You never liked such games and you know how much winning these silly games mean to me and you couldn’t give away the one opportunity to I don’t know.. Get back at me? After all this time... come on.” A teardrop fell down while I was yelling at him and by now he was looking at me with his eyes wide open not knowing what made me so mad in the middle of the jungle.
I look straight into his eyes while he does the same and I catch my breath and wipe off the tears of my face. He starts opening his bag and I look at him trying to figure out what he is doing. He takes out a bottle and hands it to me while taking the map back from me.
I drink the water and try to calm myself down. He still has that frown he has whenever he is around me. He turns the map upside down and hands it back to me. I take the map and realize that we were way ahead than I expected and was looking at the wrong clues. It was as if a mountain called ‘embarrassment’ fell on me.
“Crap.” I say under my breath. “I overreacted like always. I am sorry. And I shouldn’t have called you lex I am sorry it’s just I am used to calling you that and in the moment I called you I am so...”
“Save it.” Six months and that were his first words to me.
Save. It.
“Hey! I am just apologizing. No need to act up so much.”
“Yeah right. You are apologizing. Do you even what you are apologizing for?”
I knew he wasn’t talking about the current situation but about the time when I was apologizing for breaking up with him and how I could never give him a reason behind any of it no matter how many times he asked.
He took my silence as my answer and started moving forward.
We finally found the last clue but like all the other ones that he solved even before me reading them he couldn’t figure this one out. We needed to figure that clue out in order to get the key that opened the prize box. It was a riddle. We had to enter a 4 lettered word to open the lock.
“Where do your poetry and all that expressive abilities go to when you need them?” he said in a whisper but to his misfortune, I heard him.
“What the hell do you even mean?”
He realized that I heard him and pretended to not hear me again
“All this time not once did he get what I was telling him in front of the world now he cares about my poetry and my writing abilities when it doesn’t even matter anymore?” I say to myself.
“What do you mean?” he asked me on hearing what I said and this time I pretended to not know what he was referring to.
Both of us went back to brainstorming on what the answer could be...
“We should just go back now. Half an hour has passed and nobody has come here even once to look at the final clue. I think we took too much time. They must have found the last clue and could be celebrating by now. It was my fault for thinking I could win this stupid game.” I said when I got annoyed of thinking about the clue and was nowhere near figuring it out.
“Can you be a little patient for once? I am stuck here because of you; I didn’t even want to take part in this. You were the one rambling about wanting to win the game and feeling like the whole universe is yours.” He yelled at me.
“I wasn’t blabbering for you okay?! And you didn’t have to join me! I didn’t ask you to come with me. I know you don’t want to stay near me longer than you have to. You don’t have to tell that to me, you have made it pretty clear in the past. So don’t pretend you came for me and put this on me. Might I add, look who is talking about patience.” I yelled back at him.
I saw his expressions change throughout the time I was talking. He knew I was taunting about him moving on with my best friend and not waiting for me just a little bit longer to figure my shit out and hold on to our relationship for both of us during my twisted times like he promised.
“Asmara…” he starts talking but I cut him in between.
“No Alex you can’t Asmara me this time. I have done everything in my capabilities .everything. I know you have your life to live and have people to care for than to even think about me for a second but could please for the love of god, be kind? Just for once.” I was just speaking words now, not making any sense, at least not to myself.
“Kind? You are talking about being kind. Really?” he said referring to me breaking up with him,fighting over it and pressuring him into making a decision and blaming him for being indecisive.
“I am sorry. I tried. I am still trying. I just can’t. I just can’t explain it, Alex. You won’t understand. Even I don’t. I really am sorry.” I told him the exact same thing I said the last time we fought.
“You have said that so many times that it has lost all its meaning. You make me lose my mind!” he yelled at me but this time I didn’t answer.
Something I had learned in all the time I had spent thinking of ways to fix my relationship with him is that there is no way I can do that and that is mostly because I still couldn’t answer his questions for I didn't know how to gather the courage to face him and get past the fact that I let that one thing cause so much hurt to him. No matter how many times I apologized to him, there was not one alternate universe where I get him back.
So I just sat there in front of the box, staring at that piece of paper that had the riddle written on it.
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