The colour was as dark the hair on my head. I was absolutely delighted from the newly done artwork staining my hands from the tips of my finger to the start of my shoulders and my feet up to my thighs. Like every bride, I had too wished for the dye to run deep despite it being short lived. The sickly sweet scent of the henna leaves and the thought that Greysan's love for me was evident on my hands made my heart want to burst like a cell during lysis. I knew it was a saying, an expression of the husband's undying love if the henna were to stain dark, but, sometimes, I wanted to just believe the dumbest of things.
The henna, or mehandi, was specially created by Aria the night before the mehandi celebration. Muskan and Divyjot had made the cones and done the filling while Nureen did the hardest job of actually using the cones. It was tricky business, a 2 hour task of applying it all over the arms and legs, so the others had assisted me in getting ready. The mehandi was another ritual, mostly intended for the girls to get their hands stained and celebrate all night long, which meant the groom and his men weren't here. Nowadays, since people couldn't bare to afford another entire day of celebration for whatever reason, the maiya, another necessary custom, and mehandi could be held on the same day.
Greysan's family didn't care and to save time since I'm eager, we kept both rituals to be done on the same day. Savings, am I right?
...
My mehandi and maiya was done in the spacious backyard under the tents specially erected, while Greysan's was done inside. It was around 3 in the afternoon when I was readied and brought down, my lehanga of the softest pink, mint and gold. The armless blouse and chunni was of satin pink, the blouse cropped and revealing a lot of my torso. It took half a bottle of wine this time in order for me to not care, another half for me to be laughing again. The skirt was of mint with white and gold lace stretching over the length, glittering golden borders rimming the edges.
My ears were dazzling from the heavy golden set of earrings with a matching tikka upon my head and my newly colored hair parted down each side, straightened as a pin. The ends were of the same medium brown as my contacts, the same as my grandmother's and Greysan's eyes. It was no surprise I found Greysan's eyes so comforting when I first saw them. It took me no time in remembering her.
From under the tent the chairs and tables had been removed, only silken clothes and cushions lined the floor for sitting. At the center were a few decorative benches lined to be in a semi circle, for the bride and whoever wished to get their hands done. (Feet and legs were reserved for brides only.) I was seated at the head one, hands propped and smeared with castor oil before beginning.
Rosza, Tess and everyone who could make it enjoyed the food while the girls, Nureen with the help of her cousin, did my legs and hands. It was awkward when they got to my thighs, especially since the skirt was gathered at my crotch and almost visible to everyone.
Many would stop at their knees because it would become a hassle to keep overnight but I had other plans, so I had it done it all the way up. I had showered in the morning anyway, and all that was left was to avoid water. Luckily the laser treatments made my pores less visible to the naked eyes or else I wouldn't have been able to have this done, sober or not. My anxiety and fears were to the side of my mind but still evident by the shaking of my hands as Nureen would gesture to with her eyes warmed. After the lemon juice and sugar was sprinkled on the finished product and after awaiting for three hours with my skirt hitched, they began the smearing of haldi. More like war than a ritual of cleansing the bride to make her appear radiant.
The turmeric paste was ghastly yellow and thick and I almost gagged when Sengara threw the platter at me, my face, luckily without makeup except pink lipstick, covering it all rather than with smearing strokes. By the time I rose and began throwing my own share at her and the others, my newly done fingernails were stained yellow beyond repair. We were in need of more trays to be brought. Tess scolded us all, exclaiming she had left us for 10 mins to wash her own hands and in that time we had become savages. Tess looked radiant in her own salwar kameez despite it being awfully plain, and reminding me of my mother. She looked strong and like a well deserved Luna.
Despite that being one of my happiest moments yet, I still felt the missing part of me. No one was here from my blood family, that is until I saw my frail grandmother limp her way towards me upon the red carpet and had to choke my tears back.
I remember staggering back, the little intoxication from the wine draining from my face. Muskan and Sengara has to usher me to go to her, that is after catching ahold of me. I didn't wait. I ran right into her arms, skirt hitched in my hands and embraced her as lightly as I could. She was dressed in the same peachy suit I remembered from the time I left her, same rich argan oil in her semi black and silver hair and the smell of spices from cooking on her clothes.
"Beta," She coaxed, returning the hug by holding me as I cried in her arms, not caring I had ruined her salwar kameez with the turmeric paste. Or that she was half my size.
"Nani, nani, nani," I said softly, feeling myself shake. It had grown silent but I didn't hesitate in saying, "I love you so much that I'm sorry. I'm sorry I left and never told anyone, especially you and oh god. I missed you only Nani."
"You are safe," my Nani had replied in English, brushing my hair back. Since my grandmother went to christen boarding school where she taught by the Nuns, her English was just as good as anyone born abroad. "I only prayed you were safe."
"I'll never leave you again," I cried, feeling more tears come. "I promise, I'll be better and not leave you."
"Are you loved here dear?" she asked simply, her glasses poking my chest bone.
I pulled away, crippling to my knees before her so she could look down at me rather than up. I nodded stiffly, rubbing my upper lip, thinking of Greysan and how'd I never be able to make it up to him. It had to be his doing I suspected. Her finger wiped my tears away slowly as she looked at me with loving eyes. "You look so much more beautiful with my eyes than I ever did."
I huffed a laugh, embracing her thighs while rubbing my hair by her stomach like a scared kid. "I really missed you. I was scared you'd hate me Nani."
"No grandmother can hate her grandkids. I could never hate you. Your ma is angry, yes, but I understood. That boy, Greysan," I shuddered from the sound of his name, "He's a good boy."
"You...approve of him?"
"Why not Mani? He flew and came to talk to me personally about your relationship with him. To ask for your hand in marriage."
My heart stopped dead. Greysan had been missing for 7 days two weeks prior, before the sagai. Business out of city apparently he mentioned, terribly urgent. He had mentioned he was in Asia somewhere when I last called him. I hadn't known he'd do this. Asking an elder of the family to sanction the wedding and to give their blessing can be the ultimate gift for the couple. He must have known to have done this.
"You'd still talk to me and keep ties between us?" I asked, terrified of what she'd say. "Despite what she may say about this?"
She knew who I was referring too. "Mani, I am my own person. Yes, I may be selfless and allow myself to be manipulated by others but I cannot hate someone. You left and were wrong too, but if a child does not make a mistake, how can they learn?"
Her grin wasn't short of warmth, eyes twinkling with a glint when touching my nose ring as if she had remembered that moment too. "Thank you Nani."
I don't think I've ever been more emotional. Her words didn't just provide with me assurance, it had ended most of shaking and fear I had stashed away. For once, in an along time, I felt freer and felt like forgiving myself. I was slowly breaking from the thought I had trampled my Nani's frail heart like everyone else had when I promised to never. She didn't deserve to cry over me, I promised to never left her. And now she was crying, because of me too.
"Group hug?" Aria asked meekly, bringing the girls behind her too, with a shrug of her shoulders. Even Sengara came and she hated hugs.
After getting me off my knees and getting a group hug with my Nani, friends, Tess and Rosza, I brought my Nani to be with me by my side. Seated besides me at the head bench, she had her mehandi did by Nureen, while I was introduced to some other females by Rosza. We shared food from the same plate when I was seated on the ground by her legs while she fed me like old times. In that moment I felt like I had become her clingy grandchild again. Blessing my friends when they bowed to touch her feet, a sign of respect, and getting a group picture, she stained my cheeks with the haldi and I had never felt more content. Especially when seeing the glint of true acceptance and warmth bundled in her toffee orbs.
...
"Hey sohnae, kitha chali ae moorni banke?"
[Hey beautiful, where you going dressed so beautifully?]
"Tera bapu da ghar," I snap, shoving past the two grinning males holding me up before the threshold.
[To your father's house.]
"Oof, Mani. Nakhrey zada nahi hai?" Jai retorted from behind me, following me through and to the front of the twisted foyer. He hadn't noticed the shudder rolling down my spine at the word.
[..Doesn't she have a little too much attitude?]
"Just checking up on our darling cousin's nerves, must be excited for tomorrow night. You must have been acting up a lot lately because I think Greysan would enjoy punishing and showing you your spot," Arsh teased, leaning on the banister lined with a streamer of yellow and orange marigolds.
Both were dressed in cream sarwanis with golden vests, hair messed up as if they hadn't even bothered. "Don't you two have a job of showing your jija around? Where is he?"
"So eager to know di," Jai remarked, leaning atop the banisters head.
"He's changing, he'll be with us shortly after," the other replied, muffling a yawn with the back of his hand.
I didn't blame him, seeing Arsh nearly got a yawn out of me too. Jagos typically go for the whole night or til 4 in the morning for most people; since it's a celebration, it's purpose is to wake the entire neighborhood and have them join in on the festivities. The guest, of the bride's or groom's, would gather at the house and then walk the streets in their finery, singing loudly, eating sweets and dance. It's done during the night before the wedding so many have their bachelor parties along with it, usually away from the parents and relatives.
Arsh and Jai would have to explain the details to him since Greysan and I are not allowed to see one another. I shouldn't have seen Greysan since last week, the day of our sagai and the moment we realized our rooms were parted later that night, but still had seen him two nights ago during our date. My lips could remember the parting kiss, it was so gentle I had to stop myself from touching my lip. It was almost as if I had imagined it. My memory does sucks but I could remember the scent of his cologne and way he kept walking with his a skip to his step and evergreen grin.
I had to resist touching my lip right now. I was yearning to hear him too.
Sengara had presented me another phone but later took it away before we parted to go to bed that day after the sagai. No text or calling, she scolded. Later that night, to my dismay, I had open the door in attempt to find Greysan's bed when Baani had grabbed my ankle. Turns out they were taking turns sleeping in a sleeping bag outside my door to make sure I was sleep walking into someone else's bed.
Luckily, they couldn't have stopped the notes Greysan had written and delivered by the hands of his mother. They simply hadn't noticed, thank the gods. At least Tess was delighted to be useful, she understood the consist tugging of the mate bond. To say she was happy to help was an underestimate, she was more excited than us two.
"Please don't picture him naked di."
"I wasn't-."
"Your face had that expression, the one you make when thinking too much," Jai pointed, glancing at his brother.
Arsh nodded. "You will get to see him in his birthday suit for yourself soon enough, just another 24 hours, desperate hoe."
"Goodnight kangars," I said sweetly, making a vulgar gesture with both hands before turning to walk away. Picking at my delicately, and newly, done acrylic nail of spotless pearl white with golden shimmers and stones, I took the hall to end and went straight to my room.
"About time," Sengara murmured when where she sat. They were all on the floor, the pale blue comforter beneath their asses and cushions hoisted up, eyes already heavy lidded. With the dim lighting I saw most were leaning against the bed frame or walls while the rest were resting their head on one another's laps, holding each a share of cards. In the center of their semi circle was a basket with small packages containing chocolate roasters, plenty of wine bottles, some filled but most empty.
The large window was open, curtains partially drawn to contain the outside light, the blaring music still audible. "I'm surprised you idiots aren't passed out drunk."
"Who gave her permission to say her opinion?" Sakashi said, hiccuping right after, her cards turned over and forgotten besides her.
"Okay this does it. Who gave Sakashi the vodka again?" I asked sternly, trying to not laugh at her confused state. She was sprawled on the ground, head resting on her extended arms, mouth open slightly and gaping up at me widely. "Kuch nahi." I murmur.
[Nothing.]
The neckline to her silver kameez was pulled so far down, her bras inner blue padding was visible.
Sengara was the only one still dressed in black, spandex shorts with thigh high laced boots and a black lace bralette for her full chest. I knew better than to ask to her change, I wanted her to feel comfortable as her self.
The others were dressed in loose shirts with either no pants on or a tight, full sleeve shirt and leggings. Baani, unsurprisingly, had worn shorts with only her bra. I was still on my plain emerald suit, chunni forgotten at the threshold. It was first thing I tore off when entering.
Baani passed me a bottle of my favorite from behind her, leaning on the bed frame. "Thank you ji."
"Mention not ji," she replied, swinging a gulp. Ekraj noticing my line of sight sighed, patting the empty space besides her against the wall and allowing me to rest my head on her legs with another pat. I gesture the bottle up before drinking.
I was accustomed to the bitter taste of wine now, having it with Greysan usually for dinner and from as early as the age of 16. Back in that house in the city, wine was a rarity I was rather fond of. It would help with the waves of sadness.
It was so surreal to believe this was happening. I'm going to be married tomorrow and tonight is my jaggo despite it not being like a traditional one. The wine and chocolate were perfect, especially the massive game of bhabhi and gossip that came after too.
"Didn't you know she was seen dry humping Dilraj at some club?" Baani said to Nureen, revealing her three of hearts.
"Nahee! Sachee?" Diyvjot exclaimed, sipping her Pepsi. She didn't drink, chose not to since the smell of alcohol being brought close made her stomach lurch. Diyvjot has learned to tolerate it when we all drank but we were also mindful to keep some of space between ourselves for her wellbeing.
[No! Really?]
"The munda from our Chemistry 11 class?" Ekraj asked, Sengara nodding to confirm because she had a mouthful of vodka. After Sengara had settled with her queen of spades by recklessly tossing it onto the pile, I reached out and cleared the deck to the side, murmuring, "Maph."
There was a wave of agreement.
"Who else? He hardly comes to school being so drunk," Sengara retorted, drinking some more after nestling the card atop her lap.
"She'd jump a tree if she could and thought it looked like a sexy dude," Muskan added, throwing a nine of diamond card upon the new pile Nureen begrudgingly started with a king.
"Don't forgot about Jasbir," I murmur in English, feeling myself go cold with the thought of last year Punjabi.
"Haye!" Ekraj cries.
[Ooof!]
"Key?" Nureen exclaimed.
[What?]
"Huh?" Diyvjot asked.
Whenever we would gossiped, the girls always spoke Punjabi, even Muskan and Nureen. I -on the other hand- always spoke English and they respected that, not treating me any differently.
"She's had a thing for Jasbir too, she'd stroke his shoulders subtly and run her longly done nails over him when pretending to laugh."
"No!" Sakashi gasped.
"Told you guys she never stops," I added, bringing the wine again to my rosy lips. "Last year it was him and now it's his best friend."
"Rabba," Sengara said, uncorking another bottle for herself.
[God.]
Her eyes shot up when she realized it was her turn, slowly revealing a feline smile when slapping her final card, a king of spades.
"You fucking penchod," Nureen cursed viciously at the smug Sengara, flaunting her hair back with a flick.
I huff a laugh, bottle of wine spilling from my lips. It was quite a game, very intense if played rightfully while the objective was to get rid of all the cards. We always made it more competitive than it should've been.
Nureen lunged forward to yank on Sengara's legs, pulling her as far as the middle of our semi circle before trying to straddle her. Sengara growled and fought to kick her off. They were rolling, kicking the surrounding bottles and leftover alcohol now splashing around onto us; they had already managed to trample the cards which were beneath them now, most with folded edges.
We laughed more than we helped although Diyvjot tried too, until Ekraj reached out and broke a hollow chocolate roaster on her face. I spat my wine when she screamed in dismay, touching her face. Muskan was recording as Diyvjot tackled Ekraj and ripped at her hair. Baani was struggling to open another bottle, not caring of what was happening around her. Aria shook her head and allowed me to rest my head on her shoulder.
I couldn't have envisioned a better bachelorette party for myself; there never really was anything better like spilling some tea and making some memorable stains.
...
Applied to three universities, got accepted into all♥️😭
Today, or yesterday now, (it's passed 12) got into the uni I wanted. Luckily, two of my friends were there when I told them in chemistry first. Afterwards, when all of them knew, 5 out of the six hugged me and I've never felt more accomplished. (One was away)
...Are you loved?
~yes, I'm very loved.
To any readers who may be gang-leaders, Alphas or looking for their mate:
Kidnap. Me Now. 🥺
(Private dm for the Address and time)
~xm_vermanx15~