symere
"woah, woah, woah. he wants you to do what?" asked steve, biting into the oily slice of pizza.
it was saturday and steve asked syd and i to help him babysit his five year old nephew, jacob. we thought it was going to be easy. you know, chilling on the couch and playing board games. normal shit.
but no.
this lil nigga made us take him to chuck e. cheese and has been playing nonstop for almost three hours...
to make it even worse, i had to tutor jordan in one hour and my clothes, as well as steve and syd, was covered in silly string since many kids got little cans of it for free.
"i said he asked to help him get with megan," i explained to steve again, carefully taking out the silly string that got in syd's hair.
"okay, what's the catch. don't you still have a crush on him?" steve asked before burping out loud. syd smacked her lips.
"really nigga? c'mon on now," she stated, fanning a hand in front of her nose.
"what? my burps don't stink," he responded, sipping his soda. i plucked another piece of silly string out her hair.
"anyways... i don't like him anymore-" before i could finish my sentence, syd and steve looked at each other and started giggling.
i stopping picking at syd's hair. "what's so funny? i wanna laugh," i said irritably. syd covered her mouth with her hand.
"YOU funny nigga," steve answered, stuffing another bite in his mouth. syd tilted her head in agreement.
"you know you still like him symere. you've had an eye on him since junior year in high school after that culinary class," added syd, dusting off her clothes to get more silly string off of her.
"when he graduated, you literally looked like you were about to cry," steve wiped his mouth with a napkin.
"on god! he was moping around school for the rest of his junior year when he couldn't see jordan anymore," added syd.
"low key i think you wanted to come to georgia state just because of him," steve said, rubbing his stomach as he slumped down in his seat.
"and what about it?" i mumbled, looking at my phone's reflection to check if i had anything in my hair.
"a crush that long gotta mean something. ask him if he's straight," said steve, looking around the building for his wild nephew. the building was packed with kids and parents. "where is that little nigga," he muttered, shifted his head side by side.
i checked the time on my phone. "i'm pretty sure he's one hundred percent straight. i gotta go y'all. tutoring starts in a min," i announced, sliding out of the tiny booth.
"aww, damn. well, bye symere," said steve, giving me a quick side hug. syd waved bye.
"text me," she told me, grabbing a slice of pizza.
"ugh, i guess it's just me and the gremlin now, huh?" said steve, looking at the syd with a repulsive look on his face.
"shut up whore. you love me," she said, spraying him in the face with silly string. steve quickly wiped off his face, sputtering to get it from around his mouth.
i giggled at the two before walking away and heading to my car.
••
i walked into the library, silently greeting a woman that was organizing books at the main desk.
i walked to the tables by where all the fiction books were located, looking around to see if jordan was here yet.
i placed my stuff down on a random table, taking my books and materials out. i flipped to the pages jordan should've studied and read over them.
"symere," i heard someone whisper behind me. i glanced over my shoulder to see jordan who was sporting a cute smile on his face.
he had on a tracksuit with his football number, 15, on the back of the jacket. i felt stomach flutter. maybe, i do still have a crush on him.
he put his book bag on the table and sat in his chair, scooting so close to me that our knees were touching. i thought about the night at the party, with my back faced to him while he rubbed on my shoulder.
i wish more happened that night. i should've threw it back on him just a little bit just to see his reaction.
"so, megan texted me on instagram. i want to take her on a date but i don't know what's she would like," said jordan, taking his photography book out.
my stomach flutters immediately disappeared. i honestly forgot about that whole helping him with megan thing the second i saw him. now i felt shitty.
"she really likes museums," i told him, taking out my notes to prepare to quiz him.
he hummed at my response, reaching over to pick something off my sweater. his hand carefully brushed my neck, making me hold my breath.
ugh, i want him to choke me.
"is this silly string?" he asked, tossing the small red piece of it on the carpet. i snapped out of my thoughts.
"yeah," i answered, slightly giggling. "my friend needed help babysitting and when we took the kid to chuck e. cheese, they got the silly string for free."
"i didn't know you liked hanging with kids. i remember we had to teach kids how to cook and you almost fought one of them," he said curiously, putting his elbows on the tables to look at his nails.
i shook my head, holding the notebook to my lap.
"that's because that little kid threw food at me. i love little kids. they're like mini crackheads. they're fun to be around," i answered, putting my head down when smirked at me.
"true. my little sister, alexis, is literally fucking insane. she broke a lamp one time."
i perked up at the mentioned of his sister. every since i've known about jordan, he's never mentioned any thing about his personal life. in high school, people always talked about how mysterious he was. you never really knew anything beyond the surface.
"you have a little sister?" i asked, smiling at the way he happily nodded his head.
"yeah, you wanna see her?" he said, pulling out his phone. i nodded and waited for him to show me a picture.
i took time to look at him.
his hair was in a ponytail, showing off his strong facial features. his moistened lips reflected off the dim light in the room and his cheekbones were prominent and sharp. his neck tats stood out boldly against his brown skin.
i wonder what they would look like with hickeys around them.
"ah! here's a good pic," he stated, making me look away from him and at the papers in front of me.
what the hell is wrong with me?
this nigga tryna show me his little sister and i'm thinking about giving him a hickey. sometime, i wish i could turn my brain off.
he flipped his phone screen. a picture of a little brown girl with her puffy hair up in a ponytail, holding onto a stuffed animal in the grass and smiling brightly was shown.
she looked just like jordan.
"awww, jordan, she's beautiful. you have a little mini me," i cooed, watching him smile at his screen.
"yeah, she's my whole heart. everything i do is for her to be honest," he said, getting sad all of a sudden.
i was about to ask him if he was upset but he spoke too soon.
"i studied the words you told me to by the way. i also studied parts of the camera for the quiz on monday," he stated, showing me his notebook full of notes. i skimmed over them.
"that's great jordan. you want me to quiz you?" i asked. he scooted his chair back, our knees becoming disconnected. i rubbed my knee consciously.
"yep, i'm ready."
••
the study session went very well. jordan knew all his vocabulary and just had to work on knowing different parts of the camera.
we started to pack up, our session almost being over.
"so you said she likes museums?" he asked, tying his shoe.
"yep." i replied, upset that i have to set my straight crush up with someone else. i really need to get over it.
"that's good. i love museums. i like going to look at the big, white sculptures of the greek people or whatever. it's nice," he said fondly, stretching in his seat.
"yeah, they are nice. it's really nice to do in the summer time 'cause they have this activity where you can make your own mini sculpture," i added.
"really? i gotta take alexis one day. she'll love that."
we both stood up from the table standing close. i shifted my feet against the carpet as he look down at me. i shivered under his stare, pulling my sweater sleeves down to make it seem like i was just cold.
fuck, has he always been this taller than me?
jordan cleared his throat. "well, i'll see you next session right?" he said, slowly walking away with his hands in his jacket. i nodded my head.
"bye jordan and don't be scared to ask megan out," i responded, pointing a finger at him. he copied my action.
"i won't. i'll let you know what she says." he walked out of the library. i took a deep breath, sitting back down on the chair.
what have i gotten myself into?
••
"how was the little tutoring sesh with jordan?" asked syd. i exasperatedly belly flopped on my bed, keeping my head down in the pillow.
"was it bad?" she questioned. i shook my head into the pillow and groaned. i felt shitty. it was only my second time tutoring him and i felt shitty for no reason.
so much for convincing myself i didn't like jordan anymore. i have failed miserably.
i lifted my head from the pillows. "i still like jordan and now i feel stupid for doing the tutoring thing," i answered, before plopping my head back down in the pillow.
syd took the pillow i was laying on from under me and hit me with it making my head bobble backward. i yelped and put my arms around my head.
"what was that for?" i groaned, feeling syd's hands move my arms.
"because you always get like this when you feel like something is gonna go wrong," she answered, handing the pillow back to me. "crushes are stupid. you'll find someone else."
i sat up on one arm shaking my dreads out before pouting at her. "nobody wants me," i said sadly. syd massage my hair a little.
"shut up. you're cute as hell. there might be some people that want you but just won't say it." i grunted at her words.
i've been single literally all my life. i've talked to people and surprisingly hooked up with two but it never led to a full on relationship. then again, it was always kinda my fault.
i'm not the most emotionally available person.
"okay but there are like no gay guys," i responded. syd pursed her lips at me and rolled her eyes.
"fine, no gay guys i would actually go for," i trailed off. syd sat crisscrossed on the bed.
"exactly. maybe you should lower your standards just a little," she said, pinching two fingers close together but not letting them touch.
"jordan is everything i want in a guy though. i want him to want me," i whined, grabbing the pillow from her to put it over my face again.
"yes because jordan would love a person who wears these," she commented sarcastically, pulling on the waistband of my pikachu briefs and letting it snap back against my skin.
"don't touch these. they're special," i mumbled tiredly.
"my bad nerd. well i found someone who's interested in you. he's a music major and wanted to hang. i told him i would ask you for approval first."
"what does he look like?" i muttered into the pillow.
she moved the pillow off my face again. i watched her carefully as she scrolled through her phone.
"like this," she said, showing me a instagram post on her phone screen. my eyes widened, clicking off one picture to go to another.
she's joking right?
"miguel? miguel pimentel?! stop playing bitch. he didnt," i said, sitting up quickly.
"oh but he did my fellow midget. he saw you at megan's party but he thought you weren't single because jordan was next to you. i told him you were. you want his instagram?" she asked, scooting closer to me. i nodded my head, pulling my phone out.
i thought back to what syd just said. did me and jordan look booed up at the party? we were kinda close after the whole bathroom thing but it was all friendly.
okay, not gonna lie, at first, i thought it would lead to something like a peck but then i realized one, jordan is straight, completely straight. two, that would've been too soon anyways and three, i would just end up looking stupid.
i finished typing out miguel's username before a loud bang rang around the room.
syd and i snapped our heads to the door. steve opened the door harshly, letting it bang against the wall.
"nigga, what the fuck wrong with you," groaned syd, turning around to face an ecstatic steve who was shoving his phone in our face.
"shut up sydney and look at this! destin, you know, jordan's football friend, dm me saying we have free tickets to the football game coming up! look!" steve flashed the phone in my face, making me squint my eyes from the bright light.
i held steve's hand still and skimmed the text messages. hm. i wonder if jordan was behind this.
"this is great. why though," i exclaimed. my mood started to lighten up. steve sat on the bed with
"so i was heading to ms. walkers room to turn in late work and we passed each other in the hall. he complimented my tattoo then we ended up talking about the football game. he said he had a few extra tickets and would let me know if i could have them."
"you seem excited... too excited," syd smirked at how smiley steve was.
"yeah 'cause destin fine as fuck. i know his dick is big, whew! i just KNOW," he commented, texting fast on his phone. me and syd both widened our eyes, shook at his response.
"oh, so we like black boys now," i say. steve lifted his head up to glare at us then went back on his phone after muttering something under his breath.
"hey, maybe you can meet miguel at the game," suggested syd, tapping my shoulder.
i thought about it. i really needed a break from work and tutoring all the time. someone to talk to, especially someone who has similar interests like me, wouldn't be bad.
"i'll text him and see i guess..." i gave a shy smile. steve and syd cheered.
"yay! we deserve ice cream for this. we should go to that new cold stone across from college campus," added steve, getting off of the bed, pulling syd to her feet. she shrugged him off.
"i'll go for some ice cream," i say, getting off the bed and going to my closet to find something cuter to wear.
syd and steve walked out of my room to get dressed. i opened my phone to look at miguel's instagram one more time.
i clicked 'follow' and tossed my phone back on the bed.
••
unedited asf but look
miguel .... A MAN