"We go live in...
One.
Two.
Three."
I take a deep breathe.
I'm really doing this.
"Hallo guys!" I face the camera. "welcome to the sport central on BBC and thanks for joining me, Becca Sterling. Tonight, we are joined by Liverpool star, Trent Alexander Arnold."
I turn to look at him.
It's the first time I've seen him in a long time.
I'm not breathing. He still has this much power over me.
"Trent Alexander Arnold, it's nice to have you on the Sport Central tonight."
"Thanks for having me."
Man, his voice!
"The Liverpool team has had quite the... the... success this season on the premier league. What would you say is... the reason for... for... the success this... season?" I stutter. I'm nervous as fuck and my hands are clenched to stop the fidgeting of my fingers.
He smiles.
He's fucking smiling at me and it's so distracting. We are on air. He should make this easier for me. Him sitting on that seat smiling so angelically at me isn't making this any easier. It's bringing up the memories. The many memories.
"I would say the reason our team is so successful is because of commitment and consistency of the players. The team would be nothing without that. We work our asses off during training and we play for the name at the front of our jerseys not at the back. It's not about us as players. It's about the team... And that's what I think makes us a successful team that stands out. "
How is he so calm? Honestly, I'm barely breathing and here he is so confident and answering all the questions as if he's got some script or something. I want him to be nervous. As nervous as I am...
I should really get myself together. This is my job and I wouldn't want to lose it just because I screwed up some stupid interview with my ex. I love my job. I hate my ex.
"There's a speculation that you're getting transferred to Tottenham Spurs when the season ends, could you please confirm this on the sport central tonight?" I'm glad my voice is not breaking this time.
He looks at me in the eye and my heart skips a beat. I glance sideways.
" no, but I can confirm that one of my teammates will be transferred at the end of this season. "
I force a grin." would you mind telling us the name of this player?"
Trent displays a tight lipped smile. "I can't."
"Insist Becca!" My producer, Tim Stephens commands me. "insist for him to disclose the name!"
I force a smile as I look at Trent. "please tell us the name! Please!"
Trent shakes his head and is still adamant.
"Force him Becca! I know you can!" Tim insists.
I put on a cute puppy face and pout my lips. "please!"
Trent shrugs and lets out a sigh of defeat. "Fine! It's Jordan Henderson!"
"Good job Becca," Tim tells me on the other end.
"That's sad... We're going to miss him on the team. " First of all, I don't know who the hell Jordan Henderson is.
"yea," Trent shrugs.
Then Tim tells me to ask him something that makes my heart sink.
Tim requests me to ask him about Sophie... I honestly wasn't expecting this. I go silent for a while then I finally gather up the strength quickly to ask him the question since time is not on our side and the cameras are on.
"There are rumors that you and your girlfriend, Sophie, are soon to tie the knot... Is... Is it true?"
"I'm inlove with Sophie but when the time comes to tie the knot, I'll be sure to inform the whole world..."
That breaks my heart into a million pieces. I swear I'm in shreds right now. I don't know how I'm still keeping it together. So he plans on marrying that stupid Sophie.
" Well, I wish you and Sophie all the best. "
No. I wish she trips as she walks down the aisle (that's if they'll ever marry), and I hope she falls flat on her face and get her ugly face disfigured. So that she can be uglier than she is right now. Now that's what I truly wish.
" Thankyou. "
" Trent, it was nice having you on Sport Central Tonight. We hope you come back again."
No! Never ever come back again! Ever!
"Again, thanks for having me, Becca."
He looks at me straight in the eye and I watch as his lips call out my name. I miss the way he calls my name. He calls my name different. Different than the rest.
"Pleasure!" I fake a smile.
"Cut!" Tim barks and the cameras stop rolling. "it's a wrap. Good job Becks!"
Tim calls me Becks when he's really happy with me. Becky when he's really pissed at me and Becca on just a regular day. Well, this is one of those days he's happy with me.
I'm about to stand up and leave the table when he stops me.
Trent holds my hand tight on top of the table. I'm glad the crew is minding their business and not looking at the two of us.
"Hey..."
I try not to look at him. "Hey..."
"It's been a minute," says Trent.
No, it's been months... No, a year...
"yea..." I mutter.
"Are you seeing someone?" he asks.
That question makes me turn cold. He has no right whatsoever to ask me that but...
"no."
What the fuck is wrong with you Becca!
"Why?" I ask why he wants to know if I'm seeing someone.
"because I want you to be happy..."
"Thanks," I unwrap my hand from his. "I'm happy on my own."
Who the heck are you lying to?
" I want you to find someone who makes you happy... The way Sophie makes me happy..."
The whole world stops for me and for a brief moment, I feel a piercing sharp pain tear my heart apart. His words tear my heart into pieces and I feel my inner world crumbling.
The way Sophie makes me happy...
No Becca! You can't break in front of him. He said that last part to tear you apart. Don't let him enjoy his movie and the script in it.
"Well, I found that person," I smirk at him.
I feign strength as I smirk but the lump in my throat is building up and I'll break into tears any minute now if I continue talking.
"Who is he?" he seems surprised and... Is that disappointment I see on his face?
"Me."
I take my cup of coffee and walk with my head held up high, enjoying the rhythm of my heels as I leave Trent seated on the same spot, obviously staring at my ass. I look back at him but he's not staring at my ass. I'm so disappointed. His eyes are glued on his phone as he stands to leave the table. He's probably texting that stupid Sophie. He doesn't even care. Why do I even care? It's not like he's... He's mine anymore... He's someone else's.
"Becca!" Trent looks up and I'm embarrassed when he finds me staring at him.
"yea..."
"It was nice seeing you!"
Ugh! It was terrible seeing him.
^^^^
I rush into my office. I need time to breathe so I lock myself up. The minute I fall on my swivel, I break down into tears. An ocean of tears. It hurts. It hurts that he's happy without me with someone else. All these months I've been trying to move on but him... He's perfectly fine and has moved on with his life and is even planning on tieing the knot with her when I, on the other hand, can barely find someone I want to say hi to every day.
I hear a knock on the door and immediately look up from my desk. I quickly rub the tears from my eyes and I hope I've not tampered with my make up but I'm sure all my mascara is gone from the crying.
"Open the damn door!" Tim barks as he knocks louder every second.
"Coming!" I pat my hair and take in a deep breathe as I open the door.
"Timothy!" I call him that when I want to annoy him.
"Rebecca..."he knows how to play tit for tat quick.
" Oh my God! Are you okay? "
Do I look that pale.
" Yes, why? "
" You look ugly! "he snorts staring at me.
That's just his way of saying I don't look okay.
" I'm fine, "I mumble as I head back to my seat and leave him to close the door.
Tim sits on the swivel opposite mine and shows me his phone.
" look at the ratings! "
The ratings of our show have surely gone up. It's thrice the normal ratings.
" Good job Becks! But I'm sorry..."
For the few months I've been working here, I've never once heard this man say sorry. Ever!
"Sorry for what?"
"I didn't know Trent is your ex and that he'd left you for another woman..."
Ouch!
"it's fine..."
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine, Timothy!" I yell.
"Okay... Your little love drama has boosted the ratings of our show though. So thanks." Tim winks at me.
Tim is really mean. Yea, I knew he's mean but I never knew he's over the top mean.
"Have you seen what people on social media are saying? Ex interviews ex on his plans to tie the knot! People can be really mean, don't you think?"
I narrow my eyes at him and gasp. "I know people can be mean but have you met Timothy?"
"yea, and they say he's hot as hell," he brags.
I feign disgust. "95% of the blind females say that..."
He stands to leave rolling his eyes at me. "Goodnight Becky."
He knows I hate the name Becky. But as they say payback is a bitch.
"You too Timothy..."
He suppresses a smug grin. "It's Tim."
"It's Becca."
He slams the door. I've never quite understood Tim. He's one of those guys you never really know if they like you or not. But, who cares? I've never liked him since day one. He always tries to find fault in whatever I do. And he's always trying to pick on me every chance he gets.
I take my phone and head to Instagram. There's all these weird memes and gifs about me with my hashtag. Yea, people can be really mean. They've made me look like the sad jealous ex. I log off Instagram and see unread messages from Bruna, Troy and my aunt asking if I'm fine. I don't feel like talking to them so i just slide my phone in my bag.
I feel exhausted and drained so I should just go home and sleep. I can't stand being at work I hope I'll be okay in the morning.
I pull up in my house's parking lot and step out of my Mercedes. I'm locking my car when I see a man standing on my doorstep.
It's him.
^^^^