I was vaguely aware of a sleeping form next to me. My vision was somewhat blurry from sleep. The room was pitch black except for my alarm clock illuminating a portion of it. It was three in the morning. The figure moved slightly next to me, and I suddenly remembered that Sean was here. The events from just a few hours ago came flooding back to my mind. I was gettting the jitters out of nowhere, so I decided to get up for a second, using the bathroom as an excuse. I left the bedroom door cracked so as not to disturb Sean. He didn't budge. I siged and slipped into the bathroom, closing the door behind me.
I was a mess. I ran a hand through my hair and over my face, bracing myself against the counter. I looked at my face. My eyes were somewhat bloodshot and I was tired as hell. Even though I was in nothing but my underwear I couldn't help but feel incredibily hot. I touched my forehead and could feel the heat radiating off me. I was starting to sweat. Reaching down for the faucet, I turned the water on and wet my hands. I ran my hands over my face, the cool water feeling good and cooling me down a bit. Taking a shaky breath, I wondered if I was getting sick. It was just too hot in this damn house!
I returned to the bedroom and quietly shut the door before making my way quickly and carefully over to the bed. My eyes were starting to readjust to the darkness and I could begin to make out Sean. He looked so peaceful. I noticed he had very long eyelashes and he looked as though he had a small smile on his face. I just wanted to reach out and touch his cheek. What!? I shook my head to clear those thoughts away and went around the bed. As carefully as I could I lowered myself back into the sheets, trying my best not to wake up Sean. He turned over so he was facing me, but he was still asleep. I smiled to myself and snuggled closer to him. I didn't want to touch him but I just couldn't help but get closer. I could feel how warm he was and suddenly I was feeling a little chilly. Odd. I thought. Just a couple of seconds ago I was freaking burning up! Being next to Sean made me feel at ease, and before I knew it, I was dozing off again, the smile not leaving my face.
****
"Good morning sleepyhead!" A voice drifted through my thoughts.
"Sean..." I muttered sleepily. "Mmmm." I could hear laughing now. My eyes shot open and I bolted upright.
"You're finally awake." He said, fixing his dark brown eyes on my hazel ones. "You sir, are a deep sleeper. I don't remember you being that hard to wake up when we were younger." He pointed out.
"Uh. Sorry," I mumbled, still foggy with sleep. "I was super tired," I yawned. He laughed again.
"Nice bed head." He smirked. My hands flew up to my hair, fumbling around with it for a second.
"I'm just kidding," Sean chuckled, reaching out and grabbing my hand. I froze. He brought my hand down from my head and then let go again. I frowned, missing his touch.
"What's wrong?" He asked, suddenly worried about me. I looked over at him. His dark hair was standing up in all different directions on his head, his brow was furrowed at me, and I couldn't help but grin. I looked at his torso...he had definitely been working out. I suddenly felt self conscious and stood up to find a shirt.
"I'm fine," I lied, fumbling around in the closet. Sean got up and came over to me. I couldn't read his expression. In fact I was having a hard time keeping my eyes on him and not on his tight black boxer briefs. I mentally slapped myself. What are you doing Jake!? Knock it off! I looked back at Sean weakly.
"You seem distracted," he observed. I nodded.
"I'm not," I said a little too innocently. He looked at me like it was obvious.
"You're such a bad liar. Did something happen? I know the Jackson's came over for dinner the other night," he questioned. Oh shit. I forgot I told him we were having dinner.
"Well Kim..we...we..sorta kissed," I stuttered. His eyes went wide.
"You did!? Dude why didn't you say anything!?" He appeared to be excited for me. I huffed and his demeanor turned serious again.
"Did she reject you?" He asked softly. I shook my head.
"No it wasn't that, in fact it was the opposite," I answered. He frowned at me.
"I don't follow. What?" he eyed me curiously.
"Sean I-" I hesitated. What exactly did I want to say? What did I need to say? "I didn't like it," I said solemnly. He looked me over. For what felt like eternity it was silent between us. I finally found a shirt and slipped it over my head. Sean looked as though he was lost in thought.
"What do you mean?" He finally asked, breaking the silence. I rolled my eyes. Obviously I was going to have to spell this out for him.
"I mean I just didn't like kissing her. I guess I don't feel that way about her," I shrugged like it was no big deal. Sean narrowed his eyes at me and his expression darkened. I almost became afraid of what he was going to do. Why did I admit that to him?
"What?" I asked. I raised my eyebrows at him, expecting an answer. He shook his head at me, then locked his eyes on mine again before looking away.
"It's nothing," he replied, rubbing the back of his neck. I walked around him.
"Okay, well I'm starving. Put some pants on," I told him. He suddenly looked down, aware that he was still in his underwear and nodded.
"Yeah, I'll...uh...I'll be right there," he replied, lost in thought. That was weird. He's acting strange now too just like Collin was last night. I thought. I shook my head. Whatever. With that, I made my way downstairs and to the kitchen where my Dad was busy making omeletes. It smelled so delcious.
"Hey Jake! You want one?" He said cheerfully. I nodded.
"Sure."
"Have you seen Collin? And where's Sean?" He asked. I just shook my head.
"I have no idea where Collin is, he wasn't in his room. Sean is coming down in a second," I answered. I wasn't looking at him but I could feel my Dad's eyes burning into the top of my head.
"What?" I looked at him and raised my eyebrows.
"Are you alright?" My Dad asked me, looking me over.
"I'm fine Dad, please for the love of God don't you be weird too!" I pleaded. Now he really looked confused.
"What's going on? What are you talking abou-" He was cut off when Sean arrived in the room. He took a seat next to me.
"What's up? Did I interrupt something?" He questioned, his eyes darting between my Dad and I.
"No!" I said quickly, not wanting my Dad to bring it up again. Clearly something was going on here. I just didn't know what it was.
"Would you like one Sean?" My Dad asked, pointing to the omeletes. He nodded excitedly. "Yes sir! They smell delicious!" My stomach growled as he said that.
"Looks like someone is pretty hungry too!" He laughed and nudged my shoulder with his. I laughed awkwardly and as my Dad set a plate of food in front of each of us.
"Enjoy boys. Hey Sean have you seen Collin this morning?" My Dad was asking. Suddenly the front door opened and closed. My Dad peered around the corner.
"Collin! Where have you been this early?" Dad asked as Collin came trudging in the room.
"I just went for a walk," he shrugged, glancing over at me. Sean focused on his food, trying his best to avoid the awkward air that clung to the room. Why it was awkward I had no idea.
"Just a walk?" Dad asked, studying Collin carefully.
"Yeah," Collin replied. "I just had a lot on my mind and wanted to clear my head."
"Okay..." Dad said, returning his gaze to me briefly. He turned back to Collin, "Well eat up! There's plenty." With that, he disappeared from view to presumably go upstairs and get ready for the day.
"How'd you sleep last night?" Collin asked both of us.
"I slept great!" Sean chimed in. "Once I was out, I was out."
"I slept alright. What about you?" I answered. Collin looked at me. He had that same expression he did all last night. A knowing expression. It was like he knew something I didn't but wouldn't tell me.
"I couldn't really sleep last night for some reason," he replied, looking between Sean and me. Sean looked at me sideways for a second.
"I'm sorry dude. That sucks. I've definitely had nights like that before." Sean was saying. Why we were talking about sleep was beyond me. I was now focused soley on Collin. Why was he acting so strange? Sean's phone suddenly buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out.
"Sorry guys," he said, standing up. "My Mom needs my help moving some stuff in the garage." Sean's parents were divorced, and he lived with his Mom.
"Oh okay. I'll text you later then. Maybe we can do something?" I asked. He nodded.
"Sure sounds good. Nice to see you again Collin," he said before heading for the door. He put his shoes on and closed the door behind him. Collin had only nodded but was still focused on me.
"Why do you keep looking at me like that?" I asked. I felt so self like I was being scrutinized.
"I'm sorry..I-" he trailed off. "In a couple hours do you wanna grab lunch? I have something I want to talk to you about."
"Sure," I said slowly. "What do you need to talk to me about?"
"Let's save it for when we go okay?" He looked at me, his eyes pleading.
"Collin you're scaring me. Is everything alright?" I asked him. I was getting more worried by the minute.
"Everything is fine Jake. I just want to talk that's all. Don't worry. I just wanna have some brother time okay?" He replied. He never used the term 'brother time' but I decided to drop it for now. I'll find out soon enough what is going on.
"Okay," I said, before taking my plate and Sean's over to the sink. Collin walked out of the room. I looked up and sighed. I'm so worried about him now. What's going on?
****
After I was properly dressed and ready for the day, I was pacing around in my room. It was just after noon and even though I wasn't that hungry since we ate breakfast at about ten my brother still insisted that we go out somewhere. I was a nervous wreck. He was scaring me. I had no idea what he wanted to talk about.
I texted Sean and told him Collin was acting weird, and he agreed it was strange, but said it's probably nothing major and told me not to worry. It didn't stop me from worrying though. Sean said he'd talk to me about it when he came over later. I sighed. They had both been acting strange this morning, and Sean had seemed distant since I told him about the thing with Kim. I'm so confused.
"Ready to go?" Collin asked, peeking his head in. I nodded. " Alright, let's go." He motioned for me to follow him and I did. We got into his car that was parked in the driveway. He started it and pulled out. He didn't turn the radio on and we hadn't spoken a word to each other yet. I was getting really nervous. Two nights ago everything had been so easy and fun between us. I don't understand what changed. He suddenly pulled the car over, startling me.
"Jake is there anything you want to tell me?" He said seriously. I blanched.
"Collin what's going on? What are you talking about?" I replied. He shook his head.
"No matter what Jake I want you to know you can trust me. Do you trust me?" He asked as if it was urgent.
"Y-yeah," I whimpered. I didn't know where this was going.
"I want you to know that I love you. Okay? You know I do," he stated. My eyes widened in horror.
"Why are you saying this? What's wrong? Collin you're seriously scaring me." He sighed and pulled me into a hug.
"Nothing is wrong Jake. That's the point. You can tell me anything and I will love you no matter what," he said into my shoulder. I didn't realize until after that tears were falling down my face.
"Collin I-" I started.
"I know," he said, pulling back to look at me.
"You know?" I asked, confused.
"I know," he repeated. "And it's okay because I don't care." He smiled softly.
"What are you talking about? I'm so confused," I said. He turned back to face the steering wheel and leaned back in his seat.
"You'll know what I'm talking about in time," was all he said, before he put the car back into drive and pulled out onto the road. I could no longer focus on anything. My thoughts were all a blur. I looked over at him, and he glanced at me and smiled the biggest smile I've ever seen him give me. All of a sudden his eyes widened and he jerked the steering wheel. My head hit the dashboard and then everything went black.
****
I opened my eyes. At first I couldn't see anything. It was complete darkness. Straining, I focused and listened to the sounds around me. Silence. My vision slowly came back, but as it did I became more confused. Where was I? What the hell happened? I tried to move. That's when I realized where I was. I hurriedly snapped my eyes shut, attempting to stifle the tears. I gritted my teeth and tried to stand up as pain shot up my leg.
I realized I couldn't move. Something was pinning me to where I was. I couldn't figure out what was all over the ground that was inches from my face. I grunted but it came out more like a strangled cry. My eyes widened. Glass. It was broken glass all over.