It was raining outside this morning. I sat up in bed with the sheets tangled around my waist. Looks like I'm stuck inside today. The good part about that was I could easily avoid Kim. After talking with Collin about it last night I felt a little better about what had happened, even if I still felt like an asshole. Suddenly, Collin burst into my bedroom.
"Hey bro!" He said happily, jumping onto my bed and looking at me expectantly.
"What are you doing in my room?" I asked, rolling my eyes.
"Making you get up," he said matter-of-factly, bouncing up and down slightly on the mattress. He was acting like a little kid. It brought back some memories of our childhood together. I smiled fondly.
"I think Mom is making waffles!" He said, shaking my shoulder while he was at it. "So c'mon! Get up!"
"You are awfully cheerful for such a gloomy morning," I pointed out, "I thought you weren't a morning person?" I raised an eyebrow at him suspiciously.
"Honestly do you have to be so serious all the time?" He said, waving a hand dismissively as he walked out, not giving me a chance to answer. I wonder if this has to do with his breakup. Maybe he's just trying really hard to be happy? Distracting himself by paying more attention to me since he doesn't have her anymore? I tried to shake off the thoughts. Whatever his reasons, at least Collin and I had gotten a little closer again over the last few days than we have been for a while. The change was nice.
I got up and walked out of my room and down the stairs, the sweet aroma of waffles filling my nostrils. I took a deep breath. "This smells delicious!" I announced as I entered the kitchen. My mom looked over at me.
"Good morning!" She greeted cheerfully. Perhaps she was aware of Collin's break up and was trying to compensate by making us breakfast since my mother had an extreme dislike for cooking.
"Morning," I replied as I sat at the bar, taking the stool next to Collin who was already seated.
"Couldn't find a shirt?" He asked sarcastically, slapping my bare back.
"Ow! What was that for?" I asked, scowling at him. He just laughed.
"I'm just messing with ya!" He ruffled my hair and started eating his breakfast, swirling the cut up piece of waffle around in the syrup and butter.
"Collin, are you okay?" I asked cautiously. I didn't want to upset him.
"Yeah, why?" He asked.
"You're just really cheery today, and it's kinda not like you." I told him. He nodded in agreement.
"Yeah, well I've just decided to be more happy. I don't wanna sit and mope around about Sydney. I'd honestly rather enjoy the time I have with you buddy." He smiled at me genuinely.
"Oh that's nice boys," my Mom chimed in as she finished cooking and cleaning up. "It makes me happy to see you guys getting along."
"Mom, we've always gotten along," Collin said. I stifled the laughter in my throat. It was true we got along pretty well, but being brothers so close in age, we certainly had our moments.
"I know. I love you both so much," Mom replied. "I'm the luckiest mom in the world." She came over and hugged us both. Collin and I told her we loved her too at the exact same time. She then disappeared out of the kitchen. I finished my breakfast.
"You should take a shower. You stink!" Collin exclaimed.
"Shut up!" I said playfully as I went over to the stairs to actually go take a shower.
As I stepped under the warm water, I sighed. I was content right now. Sure, the Kim thing was still in my mind, but at least it was clear to me that I didn't like her as more than a friend. I might've went about it the wrong way, but fortunately she knew how I felt and hopefully we could move past it. On the other hand, I was so happy that Collin was finally free of Sydney. It meant that he and I could spend more time together like we used to.
I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist. Walking into my room, I grabbed my phone to see if I had any messages or anything. Sean, my best friend had texted me asking if I wanted to hang out. Sean, Collin and I had hung out a lot. We knew each other since we were like six. Sean lived a couple of blocks away from us but even so he slept over often enough that some of his clothes were in my dresser. 'Sure! Do you wanna come over?' I wrote. He immediately responded. 'Yeah for sure man! I'll be over in a few!' I sighed again. Hopefully Collin wouldn't take the opportunity to talk about the Kim situation with Sean. Please, please Collin, don't embarrass me further.
I quickly got dressed and went to the bathroom to fix my hair. Once I was satisfied, I went over and opened the door to Collin's room. "Hey Sean's coming over in a bit." I said. He looked up from his laptop and nodded.
"Cool! I haven't seen Sean for a while."
"He should be here any minute. But please don't tell him about the Kim thing," I pleaded. He looked at me curiously.
"Jake...close the door," I did as instructed. "What's going on?"
"What do you mean?" I asked nervously. "We already talked about how I don't like her like that you know? And I just don't want Sean thinking it's weird because he has thought I've liked her forever. I don't really have an answer as to why I don't, I just don't." I rambled on. Collin stood up and gripped my shoulder.
"Jake listen to me," he said slowly, his voice almost a whisper so nobody could overhear us. "I'm your older brother and I like to tease you, but as I said before you can always talk to me. I'm here for you." Okay now I was confused.
"What? I know that Collin, I just don't want you bringing Kim up to Sean okay?" I said hurriedly, thinking that at any minute Sean would burst into the room. Collin just shook his head.
"You don't even know...." he murmured to himself, before fixing me in his gaze again.
"What don't I know?" I questioned defensively. Collin avoided answering though. He simply looked at me, smiling slightly.
"You don't have to worry about me saying anything to Sean about it Jake. I won't, I promise." He pulled me into a hug. Now I was super confused. It was as if Collin knew something I didn't. He wasn't about to tell me anytime soon either. Sighing as I hugged him back, I figured at least I didn't have to worry about getting teased about the kiss with Kim. Sean would never get over the fact that I kissed her and didn't like it.
"Boys! Sean's here!" I could hear my Mom calling from downstairs. That woman did that a lot. We both quickly hurried down to greet him.
"Hey guys!" Sean said as Collin and I entered the living room.
"Sean, dude it's been forever!" Collin exclaimed as he hugged him and patted him on the back. "How've you been?"
"I've been good, just going to school and working a little bit," explained Sean. I however wasn't really listening to their conversation. I was looking at Sean. I hadn't seen him in forever. His hair was light brown, he had some light stubble all over his cheeks and chin, plus it looked as though he'd been working out. I was a tad bit jealous as I looked down at my own body subconsciously. What the hell am I doing? I thought. I quickly attempted to return my focus to everyone talking when a hand was being waved in front of me.
"Hey Jake! Jake! Are you there man?" Sean was saying as he waved his hand in front of my face. I quickly batted it away.
"Yeah, yeah sorry. I zoned out." I apologized. Sean raised an eyebrow at me, while Collin looked at me knowingly.
"What?" I shrugged my shoulders innocently at Collin. Sean looked over at him, utterly confused.
"It's nothing," Collin said, shaking his head slightly. Sean shrugged his shoulders.
"You guys are so weird. Haha. So what you wanna do?" Sean asked.
"I was thinking we could hang out here for a bit, maybe play some video games like old times?" Collin piped up. I looked at him, surprised. Collin hated video games.
"Sure!" Sean said excitedly, almost as if he was 12 again instead of 20. I laughed.
"I doubt you'll be so excited when I kick your ass." I said playfully. He grinned.
"Some things never change huh Jake?" He worded it as more of a statement than a question.
****
A few hours later, after we had exhausted our fingers, we decided to watch a movie. None of us wanted to go out since it was pouring rain nonstop outside. Even though Collin and I had spent some time together last night watching movies, neither of us minded. Sean busied himself with picking one out.
"Hey guys how about The Bourne Identity? I love this movie even if it isn't new!" He explained.
"I love that movie," I agreed.
"Yeah that sounds good," Collin said absentmindedly. It was like his mind was on something else.
"Earth to Collin," I said, snapping my fingers. He flinched.
"Oh sorry. I was just thinking," He replied.
"About?" Sean questioned as he popped the disc into the DVD player.
"It's nothing," he said quickly, clearly trying to change the subject.
"Okay Collin, you've been acting weird all day!" I pointed out. "First you were super happy this morning and waking me up, then you were telling me I didn't know something, and now you're zoning out like I was earlier?" He was being so weird. This definitely wasn't like him.
"I mean, I haven't seen you for awhile Collin, but I can see what Jake's saying, you don't even like videogames and yet you were eager to play?" Sean added. I looked over at him and nodded before turning back to my brother.
"Well c'mon. Spit it out," I demanded. Then I remembered our conversation about Kim. I went pale. Oh shit. That's what this about. He's gonna tell Sean about what happened between Kim and I.
Collin's face looked pained, like he was struggling to find the words. "It's nothing guys, really. I'm just adjusting to-," he paused, "Sean Sydney and I broke up, she's been cheating on me." He looked straight at Sean, who's eyes widened in surprise.
"Really? I'm sorry to hear that dude. That sucks." Sean stammered. I was too busy looking at Collin to say anything.
"I just have a lot on my mind right now," Collin mumbled. Sean went to speak but before he could I cut him off.
"Let's just start the movie and it'll help clear your head." I said quickly, shooting Collin a glare. He nodded just enough for me to catch. Sean started the movie and we relaxed into a comfortable silence. I however, didn't focus on the movie at all. All I could think about was what Collin had said earlier, coupled with the fact that I kissed Kim and didn't like it. I frowned deeply. What was going on with me?
***
I don't remember when it happened exactly, but at some point during the movie, Sean ended up sitting on the couch next to me. We were sharing popcorn and I just couldn't seem to shake this weird feeling. Collin kept glancing at me the entire time, clearly thinking I didn't notice, and as much as I tried I couldn't tame all the thoughts swirling endlessly around in my brain. It was getting late, almost midnight, when the movie finally ended.
"No matter how many times I watch that, I'm always so into what happens," Sean was saying as the end credits were playing.
"Yeah I'm the same way," agreed Collin.
"Sean are you staying over tonight?" I blurted suddenly. I nearly slapped my hand over my mouth but I mentally stopped myself. Those words had kinda just slipped out. I began to backpedal. "I mean, you know since it's late and it's been raining so hard all day. It still is. I mean, you don't have to." I was rambling again. I never ramble on and yet this was the second time today. I glanced over at Collin who had a small smile on his face. When he saw me looking he quickly hid it with a neutral expression.
"That's cool with me as long as that's okay with you and your parents," Sean replied casually, as if he missed the awkwardness of it all. We all went back into the kitchen where my Dad was sitting.
"Hey Dad, Sean's staying the night okay?" I practically told him. He looked surprised at first.
"Oh Sean! It's been a while. Yeah that's fine Jake," he said.
"Thanks for letting me," Sean was telling my Dad. They were soon engrossed in their own conversation since it'd been awhile. My Dad always loved talking to Sean about sports and such. Collin took this opportunity to grab my arm.
"Erm. What are you doing?" I asked him. He looked at me questioningly.
"Just...nevermind," was all he said. With that, Collin headed off to his room.
"I'll just be upstairs," I told my Dad and Sean while they were still chatting. They both nodded in response. I sighed and walked up the stairs to my room. Man Collin had certainly went through the motions today. First he was super happy, then he was strangely quiet, and now he seemed to be annoyed with me. I don't know what's going on with him.
It was now almost one in the moring and I was dead tired. I quickly turned down my bed, stripped down to my underwear and climbed in. Sean came in a few minutes later. He regarded me in the bed for a moment.
"What?" I asked him as he looked at me. He bit his lip.
"Nothing," he replied, clearly uncomfortable. I hadn't even thought that Sean wouldn't wanna share the bed. We had always done that in the past. I sat up.
"Um, I can get you some blankets and a mat for the floor or something?" I offered. He brushed it off.
"Nah it's late. Sorry it's just been a while," I laid back down and he quickly stripped down to his boxers and climbed in. "Goodnight Jake," he whispered. I felt a twinge of excitement when he said that. I have no idea why.
"Goodnight Sean. It's good to have you back," I replied.
"It's good to be back," he said. I smiled into my pillow and drifted off to sleep.