[A/N: This either going to be a 2 parter or a 3 parter.]
Quinn: WHAT'S UP EVERYBODY?!
Jefferson: Quinn we're all right here why are you screaming.
Quinn: Because this is a very special episode of Hamilton Reacts to Stuff!
Laurens: It's the one with the turtle petting zoo?
Hamilton: It's the one where we blast Jefferson out of a cannon!
King George: It's the one where I take over as the host. I'm honored.
Quinn: No, guys! This show hit ten thousand reads!
All: *silence*
Peggy: Ten...
Angelica: Thousand?
Quinn: That's right! Actually, at the time of recording, we're at exactly 11,705 reads!
Herc: Holy [bleep!]
Eliza: *smacks with tiny handbag*
Herc: Ow! Hey, way to ruin the moment!
Quinn: We've come a long way since the first episode. We've made some new friends, some new annoyances...
Everyone: *looks at King George*
King George: Paint a portrait. It will last longer. *tosses curls*
Quinn: Welcomed two babies...had hook ups and break ups and rumors and fights and all kinds of drama! And we've had a lot of fun, too!
Laff: *smiles* We've had quite a run.
All: *about to start shuddering*
Hamilton: A bunch of good friends and cool people. We really get the job done.
Everyone: *relaxes, looks around in confusion*
Laurens: ...What was that?
Quinn: Anyway, to celebrate this amazing milestone, we're going to be answering questions from the readers!
Eliza: Oh, that sounds like fun!
Quinn: Mm-hm! Thanks to everyone who sent questions in. You guys are so funny and creative, I hope you know that. I got so excited every time I saw a new question, and I was never disappointed. Now, let's get started! The first question is from Kirimilliganhadlen:
Philip: Captain America? *looks at Theo and grins in excitement*
Hamilton: *rolls eyes* Oh no. Another superhero movie for them to obsess over.
Burr: Somebody decided it was a good idea to show my daughter these violent movies.
Quinn: *waves hand off* Ah, they'll be fine. *smiles at Philip and Theo* Tell the readers which movie is your favorite, guys.
Philip and Theo: BLACK PANTHER!
Laurens: Ooh, that movie's awesome!
Theo: And you promised to take us to see Captain Marvel, Philip's Dad.
Hamilton: *furrows brow* I don't think I did.
Theo: Uh huh! You promised!
Hamilton: *expression weakens* Did I really say "promise?"
Philip: You did, Dad.
Hamilton: *looks at Eliza for help*
Eliza: *smiles* You did promise them.
Hamilton: *sighs* Okay, we'll go tomorrow.
Philip and Theo: YES! *high five*
Quinn: But for now, we're going to watch Captain America: The Winter Soldier.
*Timeskip*
Quinn: Well? What'd you think, guys?
Eliza: That was violent... maybe Philip shouldn't be watching these movies after all.
Philip: I'm okay, Mama!
Eliza: *sighs and smile sat him* Oh, alright.
Laurens: That was awesome!
Herc: So many explosions! It was beautiful!
Angelica: *cocks head, pulling knees closer to her chest* I mean, maybe I'm missing something, but I just didn't see the appeal. Like, it was just... testosterone and fighting... I did like that Natasha girl, though.
Peggy: She was basically you as a redheaded spy.
Quinn: What did you think, Hammy?
Hamilton: *trying to fight a smile* It was fine.
Peggy: He's smiling! He liked it!
Hamilton: Okay, fine. It was really cool.
Jefferson: *sleeping, softly snoring*
Madison: *sitting next to Jefferson on the couch* Thomas. *nudges*
Jefferson: *snork* Wh... wha?
Quinn: *laughs, says in a baby voice* Thomas, did you fall asleep?
Jefferson: *blushes* I'm tired, okay?
Hamilton: You're so old.
Jefferson: *deep inhale* If I wasn't in such a pleasant mood from that nap, Hamilton, I'd get up and smack you right now.
Quinn: Now for the second part of the question: Schuyler Sisters? Who's your celebrity or fictional crush?
Eliza: My favorite superhero: Alexander Hamilton.
All: BOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Hamilton: What was wrong with her answer?!
Angelica: Come on, sister, don't be boring. I'd say... well, I've watched Black Panther with Philip and Theo, and I must say that Chadwick Boseman is cute.
Philip: Who's that?
Quinn: The actor for Black Panther.
Philip and Theo: ANGELICA AND BLACK PANTHER SITTING IN A TREE! K-I-S-S-
Angelica: Alright, alright. *laughs* Either Black Panther or the guy who plays him. I'm not picky.
Peggy: I've had a crush on George Harrison since that time we listened to the Beatles. Oh, and Bill Weasley.
All: *chuckle*
Peggy: What? He's so cute. He deserved better than Fleur.
Laurens: At least I don't have to worry about feeling jealous.
Peggy: You should. *laughs*
Quinn: Eliza? Your turn, honey.
Angelica: You must have an answer, sister.
Eliza: *blushes* I don't know, I think Michael Buble is kind of handsome...
Hamilton: What?
All: *laugh*
Jefferson: Ah, so the Mrs. has eyes for another!
Hamilton: Michael who? What's- what makes this guy so great?
Eliza: Nothing! He's just a good singer! *smiles dreamily* With nice hair, a good smile...
Hamilton: I have a great smile!
Angelica: Alexander, relax, you're fragility is showing.
Hamilton: I'm not frAgile! *voice cracks*
Eliza: Calm down, sweet. You'll always be my favorite. *kisses cheek*
Hamilton: *beams*
Quinn: Okay, next question! This one's from Milevenstitch
Jeggy: *blush*
Quinn: Oooooooh, looks like we're not done talking about crushes yet...
Laurens: *stands up* I really have to pee-
Hamilton: Oh no, you don't. *steps in front of him* You're not going anywhere 'till you answer.
Laurens: *sighs* I don't know... Peggy and I've really gotten close through this show. I never really thought like, "I'm in love with Peggy." I never had that conscious thought-
Jefferson: You don't have conscious thought period.
Herc: *smacks* Never shame a man when he's talking about his feelings.
Laurens: Anyway, I never really thought that. But deep down, I think a part of me always felt that way. Like I would always get this weird happy feeling when I saw her that I never got anywhere else. I would miss her, even if it hadn't been that long since I saw her. I just... feel better when I'm around her. *smiles* And then when she told me she loved me, it all came rushing over me at once. And everything made sense. *smiles shyly* That weird part of me that actually understands emotions knew before the rest of me did. Heh.
All: *stunned silence*
Hamilton: *both shocked and impressed* That was actually a very deep answer, John.
Laurens: *grins sheepishly*
Peggy: *squeals* OH MY GOSH YOU'RE SO CUTE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH- *jumps into his arms and hugs his neck, knocking them both to the ground*
Quinn: Now what about you, Peggy?
Peggy: *looks up and blushes* Well... *stands up* Like John, it kinda snuck up on me, too. Like, at first we were just best friends. I never even thought about dating him. I'm not really sure when it changed, exactly, but one day he walked in, and I felt my whole face flush over, and my only thought was, "Holy crap, I love him." And then whenever we would react to ships that John was a part of, I got into a really bad mood. I think I was jealous. *blushes*
Angelica: You were definitely jealous. But it's cute that you said "think."
Quinn: Well, there you have it, folks. The birth of a ship!
Eliza: And it's gonna sail forever!
Peggy: Liza!
Eliza: *giggles* I can't help it! Jeggy is my OTP! Well, besides Hamliza, of course.
Quinn: *laughs* Eliza's catching on to the shipping game! Okay, next question. This one's from Demongirl2237
Laurens: Ew, I hate salad!
Peggy: Is "salad fingers," a salad with a bunch of fingers in it?
Jefferson: No, that would be a finger salad.
Quinn: So, I looked it up, and apparently it's some animated series. We'll watch a little bit of it now, but first, Philip and Theo, why don't you head upstairs?
Theo: Aww, why?
Quinn: It's supposed to be creepy. I don't want you getting scared.
Burr: Go on, Theodosia.
Eliza: Yes, Philip, you too.
Philip and Theo: *sigh and go upstairs*
Everyone else: *watches Salad Fingers*
Eliza: Ohhh, I'm glad I sent Philip upstairs! *curls up to Alex and hides her face in his chest*
Hamilton: *pats Eliza's head, staring at the screen, dumbfounded*
Samuel: *sitting in a ball, gently rocking back and forth as his hands cover his eyes* *mumbles* I don't like this...
Maria: *sits crosslegged on the floor, staring down. She's listening, but she's still a little creeped out.*
Herc: What the [bleep-bleep-bleeeeeeeeeeeeeep] is this?!
Laff: Was that really necessary, mon ami?
Herc: No, but since the kids aren't here, I can say whatever I want without Eliza hitting me.
Quinn: So, how did you guys like Salad Fingers?
Theodosia: It was... odd...
Madison: l was just confused more than anything. Like, what was the point?
Jefferson: A shame I couldn't sleep through that one.
Hamilton: Aww, not done with your little nap, Tommy?
Jefferson: Pleasant mood is gone forever. *smacks Hamilton*
Quinn: *yells to upstairs* Okay, guys, you can come down, now!
Philip and Theo: *run down the stairs*
Philip: What did you watch, Mama?
Eliza: Something very scary, love. You wouldn't have liked it.
Quinn: Okay, let's move on to the next question. This one's from MapleTeaWilliams!
Quinn: Oh, wow, thanks for asking me a question! I'm gonna say Alexander. I love to write, and when I commit to a project, I can get kinda obsessive.
Hamilton: I am not obsessi- I can't even finish that sentence never mind.
Quinn: It's okay, Alex. If we don't work, how are things gonna get done?
Hamilton: That's what I'm always saying! *high fives Quinn*
Quinn: The next question is also from milevenstitch
Burr: Oh no-
Hamilton: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT
King George: What a brilliant question! It's actually a bit hard to answer, though. There are so many things that go into my awesomeness that it's near impossible to name them all.
Hamilton: *sweating* Quinn hurry go to the next question-
King George: But we can try. First of all, I'm a king. I'm royalty. I have lots of money and live in a big castle. I also have a huge sparkly crown, and my cape is really fluffy- ooh! I haven't even mentioned my personality! I-
Hamilton: PLEASE SOMEBODY PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY!!!
King George: *bops Hamilton on the head with his scepter* Quiet, you babbling chimp! This is my moment!
Quinn: I think you might need to wrap it up, Kingy G. We've got other questions to answer.
King George: *dramatic sigh* I'm so unappreciated. Fine, to make things brief, I am very, very, very, very, awesome in ways even I don't understand. *rolls eyes towards Quinn poutingly* There. Happy?
Quinn: Extremely. Now, to take the attention away from you, we have a question for Maria.
Maria: *blinks* Me?
Quinn: Yep! It's also from @MapleTeaWilliams
Maria: Oh. *smiles a little* Well, I like reading. My favorite book is The Scarlet Letter. It's beautiful. I also... *giggles nervously* Never mind. You're going to think I'm boring.
Eliza: No we won't!
Herc: Nobody's more boring than Burr. Try us.
Maria: Okay... I really like bird watching. *rubs palms and stares at her feet* Going out at the crack of dawn, sitting alone in the fresh air, finding beautiful birds... I have a notebook with a list of all the birds I've seen.
Peggy: That's not boring!
Philip: Yeah, it's cool! I love animals!
Maria: *smiles* Maybe I can take you sometime.
Philip: *grins*
Quinn: Okay, next question is from @ThatCinnamonBaguette-
Laurens: My taco buddy!!!!
Quinn: *confused* ...Yeah. And it's for Laff.
Laff: I love baguettes! They're delicious!
Laurens: One time- *laughs* one time we were in a bakery, and Laff and Herc got baguettes and had a huge sword fight with them.
Hamilton: They got us all kicked out.
Herc: We weren't kicked out, we were asked not to come back.
Laff: But yes, I love baguettes. They me of home... *wipes away a homesick tear*
Quinn: How do you like to eat your baguettes, Laff?
Laff: With lots of jam. Sometimes I like to dip them in my coffee, too.
Hamilton: We really put a lot of depth and effort into answering the baguette question.
Laff: Because baguettes are important! They are superior to your American "toast."
Jefferson: What's with the air quotes around toast? It is toast.
Quinn: Okay final question of this part! This one's from Hamilgirl12
Quinn: Oooh, good question. I'm gonna say my girl Eliza. We could use the paper and pencils to draw, and you're awesome and not annoying, like most of the boys would get within the first few hours.
Eliza: *smiles*
Hamilton: Hey, we boys resent that!
[Behind him, Laurens, Herc, and Laff are trying to do a three person piggy back ride and screaming every time they fall, while Jefferson is lecturing about how dangerous this is and how stupid they are]
Eliza: Well, I couldn't say just one person. I would need my whole family there.
Madison: But if you had to choose...
All: *shudder*
Jefferson: *shudders* Thanks a lot, James. Thought we dodged a bullet before, but nooooo!
Madison: *hangs head*
Eliza: Well, then of course I'll pick my son, Philip.
Philip: *hugs Eliza, then tugs on her and tries to whisper something to her*
Hamilton: What's wrong?
Eliza: Oh nothing's wrong. He wants to go cuddle with his mama, but he doesn't anyone knowing.
All: Awwwww!
Philip: *blushes* Mom...
Eliza: Oh, it's nothing to be embarrassed of, Philip. That's why you're my choice on the desert island.
Philip: *smiles, takes Eliza's hand and goes over to the couch with her, where he cuddles up to her with his head on her lap*
Eliza: *smiles and plays with his hair*
Hamilton: Well, obviously, I'd say my wife and son. But if I had to pick someone else, I would say Laurens.
Laurens: *raises hands in the air* Yeah!
Hamilton: And if he gets annoying, well, there's a whole ocean for me to throw him into.
Laurens: *rolls eyes and sticks tongue out* Well my answer's either Peggy or Alex.
Jefferson: James is the only one I can really tolerate, so James.
Madison: Well, I'm going to say Burr.
Jefferson and Burr: What?
Madison: Yeah. Burr's very smart, and he might have some good ideas for survival.
Jefferson: If he bothers to share them! I can't believe you picked Burr over me!
Madison: No offense, Thomas, but sometimes you're better in... small doses.
Hamilsquad: *dies laughing*
Quinn: A lot of shade is getting thrown here. *nervous laugh* Burr? Why don't you go.
Burr: My wife, Theodosia.
Theodosia: *kisses*
Burr: And my angel, of course. *picks up Theo and hugs her*
Theodosia: Same answers. *rubs Aaron's upper arm and smiles*
Theo: I say Philip.
Burr: What-
Theo: Yeah! He's my friend!
Philip: Yeah, and we can play tic tac toe on the paper!
Theo: And build sandcastles!
Burr: *makes a face like someone ate his birthday cake right in front of him*
Quinn: So I guess the littles picked each other? Alright, Peggy, you can go.
Peggy: John, obviously.
Laurens: *grins*
Herc: Uh, I don't know, either Madz or Angelica?
Madison and Angelica: What?
Angelica: Why me?
Herc: Well, you guys are both smart and might know how to build a house from the trees or something. Laff's cool, but he's too fancy and would probably complain about the sand getting in his uniform or something.
Laff: *crosses arms indignantly* Well my choice is Alexander.
Hamilton: *grin and high fives Laff*
Angelica: Well, I'm honored, Herc. I choose either of my sisters. Preferably both.
Eliza: *smiles*
Peggy: We know you'd prefer me, but sure. *does finger guns*
King George: I don't know... I don't like any of you. Samuel I suppose? He's the one I'm closest to liking.
Samuel: As long as you treat me fairly.
King George: *huffs* Fuh-ine.
Samuel: My turn... Hmm... maybe you, Quinn.
Quinn: Aww, thank you, Sam! *hugs*
Samuel: *smiles* Yes, either you or maybe Maria.
Jefferson: *smirks* Ooooh, Maria?
Hamilton: *smirks* Really?
Samuel: *eyes widen, blushes nervously* Not like that! She just seems nice, that's all! And nobody's picked her yet!
Maria: *smiles* Thank you.
Hamilton: *props forearm on Samuel's shoulder* She's smiling. She's into it.
Samuel: *shrugs Alex off, getting flustered* That's not what I meant-!
Washington: *chuckles* Alexander. Stand down, soldier.
Hamilton: Yes, sir. *smirks again* But I think we all know who you're going to pick.
Washington: *smiles* I don't mind being predictable. *takes Martha's hand in his*
Martha: *smiles warmly* My big softie. *squeezes his hand*
Everyone with a heart: *secretly shipping them*
Quinn: I think that just leaves you, Maria.
Maria: *blinks, nervous about being on the spot* Oh... well, I'm not really sure. You all seem really nice... *picks at a bit of her dress* Maybe Peggy? She's funny.
Peggy: Woohoo!
Quinn: Good answers, everyone. What do you guys think of doing it like this?
Laurens: I really like it!
Eliza: It's nice to hear directly from the readers. They all ask really interesting questions!
Hamilton: We really have the best readers ever.
Quinn: Definitely. Well, that's all the time we have for today. Thanks to everyone who asked questions! Check back here next week for part 2! We'll see you next time on Hamilton Reacts to stuff!
[A/N: I'm also posting a very important author's note. If you have ever left a request or are thinking about leaving one, I would really appreciate if you read it 😊]