**** Nate's mother in m/m ****
AMBER P.O.V. –
I entered into Nate’s mother’s house, and noticed she had about four suit cases packed and sitting by the door.
“You going somewhere?” I followed her into the kitchen, where she sat at a stool with a glass of wine.
“Have a seat darling.” She smiled.
I sat. She poured me a glass of wine.
“Is there anything in this house you want?” She scooted the glass toward me.
“Uh…not that I can think of right now. Why?”
“I’m selling the house and everything in it.”
“Really?”
“Yes chile, I just want to get rid of it. Not a single good memory here. My real-estate agent has potential buyers, and I’m letting my lawyer handle everything. I want nothing to do it.” She took a sip of her wine.
“I saw you packed some suitcases.”
“Yes darling, I’m leaving first thing tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?”
“I have a flight to Spain.”
“What about work? You’re a judge.”
“I resigned. My entire life was dedicated to someone or something else besides me. If it wasn’t my parents it was Nathan. If it wasn’t Nathan it was work. I don’t know how much longer I got, and I can’t do it anymore.”
“I understand.”
“ And Jesus, I just refuse to be one of those widows that sits in a house and mourns for the rest of her life. The best way to keep the dead’s memory alive is to live.”
“Where are you going go after vacation?”
“It’s not a vacation darling. I’m traveling the world. That will be my fulltime job.”
“That was Nate’s dream.” I smiled.
“I know.” She looked down. Sadness filled her eyes.
I had never seen this woman vulnerable. Even at the memorial service she didn’t shed a tear. She just acted as though everything was okay. But I finally saw a crack in her strong exterior.
“I disappointed my son repeatedly.”
“No Mrs. Parker--.”
She cut me off by raising her finger.
“I did. I could never protect him and that hurts me. A mother’s job is to protect her child and I couldn’t do it.” Tears rolled down her cheeks.
I got up to hug her.
“It’s all my fault.” She cried into my chest.
“No Mrs. Parker. Don’t take the blame for that.”
“It is. I wanted to be there so bad for him, but I allowed my sick love for someone else to stand in the way of that. My own cowardness.” She lifted her head and wiped her eyes.
“So me and my son are going to travel the world.” She grabbed the urn with Nate’s ashes. “And everywhere I go, he will go. And every place I leave, I will leave a piece of him behind by spreading his ashes. That way, he can say he traveled the world.”
“I love that Mrs. Parker.” I gave a bright smile at that brilliant idea.
She had returned to her normal self. It scared me how she was able to change like that. I guess so many years of putting up fronts.
“Amber never lose yourself so far in a man, you can’t find your own self anymore. Be selfish. Not towards your kids, but your spouse. Be there for them, but never love them more than you love yourself. You hear me?”
“Yes.”
“Nate loved you Amber. He loved you. And he loved Sata. Even though I knew Sata wasn’t his. He loved her. That’s why he left you guys everything. But don’t live life down in the dumps. Live again. Always remember Nate, but love again. You deserve it and Nate would want to see you happy.”
“I hear you.”
“I have more packing to do. But you send Sata my love. And you stay strong and beautiful.” She gave me a huge hug and kissed my forehead.
“You can rest easy knowing if Nate never had happiness, he found it in you before he died. So you never have to feel guilty about anything.”
I shook my head and wiped my eyes that were starting to fill.
“I’ll miss you.”
“And I’ll miss you too darling.” She gave me a cheerful smile.
“Now go. Spain is calling my name.” She laughed.
“Be safe and please call me, email me whatever.”
“I will.” She promised.
We gave each other one last hug and I left.
LATER THAT DAY
August had kept Assata for the past two days. Of course as a new mommy I was a little worried, but I trusted that he could take care of her. The house had been quiet seeing as my mother spent less and less time at home. She was spending more and more time with Governor Parker. I was lying on the couch, snuggled under the covers about to doze off when the doorbell rang.
It was Aug he came to bring Assata back. She was asleep, her head on his shoulder.
He took her to her room to lay her in the crib. I closed the door and returned to the couch.
“I gotta get some stuff out the car. I’ll be back.” He looked over at me lying on the couch and walked out the front door.
He returned setting at least ten bags on the floor of baby stuff.
“This Munch stuff, we went shopping.” He designated what bags were for her.
“I bought you some Mexican food.” He reached in the bag and got out another bag with a white container and sat it on the table.
“August what all did you buy her?” I sat up a little bit annoyed. She really didn’t need any more stuff.
He sat in the chair next to the couch and pulled some bags to him.
“Diaper genie.” He pulled the box out.
I pulled a couple of bags close to me.
“Bath Thermometer?” I pulled it out. “Boogie Wipes? Diaper Stacker? Wipers Warmer? Baby Detergent? All this stuff is a waste of money. I can use my finger, I don’t need the thermometer. I can use a towel, I don’t need the boogie wipes. I have a drawer for diapers. I don’t need the stacker. It’s not cold enough for a Wipers Warmer. And I already have a regular free and clear brand detergent to wash her clothes.”
I pulled the other bags to me.
He was sitting in the chair starring at the wall, with his finger on his temple. His tongue was poking the inside of his jaw.
“The clothes she can keep. This other stuff you can get your money back.” I pushed the bags back over to him.
“You finished?” He looked over at me.
“Finished what?”
“Stating your point of view.”
“I didn’t know it was a point of view. I was just telling you that this stuff is way too expensive and a waste of money.”
“And I understand that. But I don’t know if you realized the entire time you spoke you used the word “I” indicating that Assata was just yours.”
“I didn’t say that.” I cut him off.
“Can I speak for a second?” He said calmly.
“Yeah.” I sighed.
“Thank you. I’m a new father. My daughter is six going on seven months. I was not apart of her life. And if I want to buy her anything, even if she doesn’t need it, as her father I should be able to do that without being criticized for it. Allow me to learn through trial and error what’s right and wrong. Just like you did.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t think about it like that.”
He got up and took the bags in her room.
“I’mma bout to go.” He said heading out.
I got up and went after him.
“Aug I’m sorry. I really didn’t think about it like that. And I didn’t mean to exclude you.”
“It’s cool.”
“Can you stay a minute, I need to talk to you about something?”
He sat down back in the chair.
“What?” He looked at me.
“Because you weren’t given the opportunity to be there, I was thinking we have a Sip’N’See.”
“A what?” He looked at me confused.
“A Sip’N’See. It’s like a party you throw after the baby has been born. You invite all your family and friends and they come look at the baby. Bring gifts and stuff. Sorta like a baby shower, but after the baby.”
He laughed, “I ain’t never heard of no shit like that in my life.”
“So you like the idea?”
“We can do it. What I gotta do?”
“Just invite whoever you want to invite. And I’ll plan the other stuff.”
He gave me a look.
“I mean we can plan and set it up. I didn’t know if you wanted to.”
“I do.” He responded.
“Then its settled. When do you think we should have it?”
“Well you know I leave for Philly last week of August so before then.”
“You think we can do it in a week?”
“We should. I just gotta let everybody know.” He paused.
“Are there any more secrets I should know about before I invite my fam up here again?”
I narrowed my eyes at him.
He smirked. “I’m playing.”
I threw a pillow from the couch at him. It hit his head. He was slumped over laughing.
“It’s not that funny. Would you stop?” I looked at him seriously.
“My bad.”
I rolled my eyes at him and started eating some of the Mexican food he bought me.
“You’ve changed a lot though. I’m noticing that.”
“How so?”
“You and I have adult conversations now.”
“I’ve always had adult conversations.”
“If you say so Mr. 0 to 100.”
“I don’t know what you talking about.”
“Ok.” I rolled my eyes.
He chuckled.
“Nah I’ve been in anger management.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. After what happened with us I just couldn’t go on like that. I needed it. And I never formally apologized to you for that. So I want you to know from the bottom of my heart I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve any of that. You were doing your job. I understand it now.”
I looked down.
“It’s ok.”
“Nah it’s not. And never accept that is from me or anybody else. If you love someone you don’t treat them like that. Period.”
There was silence for a moment.
“I just wanted to thank you for everything. It’s been real hard, but you helping me out with Assata and just spending time with me as a friend helps.” I told him.
“You always showed up for me, I just thought it was time I did the same.”
“Who is the August? And where did he come from? Damn I wish I knew him about a year ago.” I looked around being sarcastic.
He laughed. “You’ve changed too.”
“How?” I started super maxing, the steak sope he bought.
“You went from having a Rihanna Five-Head to a Yo Gotti Muscle Head.”
“Ha-ha-ha. Not funny.”
“You right it’s not. That’s tragic. Good thing my baby didn’t come out with that shit.”
I threw another pillow at him. He started laughing super loud.
“Would you shut up before you wake her up?” I ate a spoon full of rice and beans.
He looked back as if trying to see if she had woke up.
“This is good.”
“Yeah I got it from this place they just opened up on my way over here.”
“Thanks for thinking of me.”
“Yo mama still over that man house?” He pulled out his phone and started texting.
I shook my head and rolled my eyes. “She has no shame.”
He laughed, “Leave her alone. Old people need love too.”
“I guess.”
He kept texting.
“Who you over there texting?” I asked him.
“Stay out my business. Damn.” He looked at me with a play attitude.
“Tell your thot. I said hi.”
He dialed a number and put it on speaker.
“Hey baby. Amber called you a thot and told me to tell you hi.” August spoke into the phone.
“What’s a thot?” I realized it was his mother on the line.
I threw another pillow at him. He started laughing.
“Nevermind Ma. I’mma about to text you back.”
“Ok.”
“Bye.”
“Why would you do that?” I gave him the straight face.
He chuckled. “I only know one thot. And she tricked me into having a baby with her.”
Assata started to cry.
“Go check on your daughter please idiot.” I said still eating my food.
He laughed and went to check on Munch. I shook my head, some things never change. Him being silly is one of them.