Hey, Little Jeeps!
Long time since I've posted one of these. How are all of you?
As some of you may know, I haven't been doing the best. But I'm trying to get better.
For those of you that may read this in the future and don't know what I'm talking about, my story Sweet Kitten was removed by Wattpad for restricted content. I understand why it was taken down because it was against Wattpad's guidelines, even though I didn't know that at first. Now I know and I understand why it was taken down. Doesn't mean I'm happy about it, but I understand. It's frustrating because that was my story that was doing the best and it really motivated me to write it. That was a lot of people's favorite Tainted Love story which is also sad. But it's on Inkitt now and you can read it there.
Another thing that has sucked is that my views, likes, follows, all of that has gone way down. I'm getting maybe half the notifications that I was getting before.
And I know that that isn't everything. It's definitely not the most important thing. But it is a little discouraging to see your growth declining so much just out of nowhere. Maybe it will go back up, maybe it won't. Either way, I'm trying to get back into the normal swing of things.
I posted a chapter yesterday for the first time in weeks. I have been on a hiatus way too long and the longer I stay away from Wattpad, the more Wattpad makes me feel anxious.
So the best thing to do is to just start posting again.
Lots of things have also been going on in my real life that had me a little stressed.
First of all, I have a lot of work to do for my job and I have been procrastinating soooooooo much. It's so bad. I'm awful. I suck. lol.
So that's one thing that has been stressing me out.
But another huge thing that had been stressing me out was what I planned to do about school.
As you may know (I can't remember if I mentioned it here, but I probably did), I was studying graphic design. I took a semester off because school was stressing me out a lot and some big things were going to change in my life and I didn't need the added stress of school right now.
But the thing that kept creeping up in my mind and causing me anxiety was that I was thinking that I didn't want to study graphic design anymore.
I don't think I'm that good at it. I'm not terrible, but I've seen other people's stuff, like online or other people in my classes, and I just knew that I could not compete with that. If you're not a great artist, you're just not going to cut it. And I don't think I'm a great artist.
Another thing that was bothering me about it was that I didn't have fun doing my projects in school. So I was thinking, well if I'm dreading doing my projects for school, I know I'm not going to have a fun time doing it when I actually have a job.
These things were in the back of my mind for awhile, but I didn't say anything to anyone. Because I kind of thought that if I just kept going, I might change my mind.
But after taking this semester off, I was slowly coming to realize that graphic design just wasn't a good plan for me.
I don't have a lot of patience and often tried to get the projects done as quickly as possible and didn't spend as much time on them as I should've. I knew that this was also a bad attribute to have if you were trying to make a living off making art.
So all of this added up into me knowing that graphic design was not a good job for me.
I was terrified to tell anyone because I kind of felt stupid.
I had spent two semesters at college so far and most of my classes had been general classes, so it wasn't like I had wasted money on a ton of art classes. But I was also just scared that my parents would be mad. (Not that they pay for my classes or anything, but I was scared of their reaction about me changing my mind.)
I eventually told my mom that I didn't think I wanted to do graphic design anymore and she was okay with it, but then she asked me what I did want to do.
And I just had no idea.
English/literature has always been a huge passion of my mine, but I just didn't think I could turn that into a job. I don't want to be a teacher and even though I would love to work for a publishing company or something, I knew that was an extremely hard business to get into.
So I really had no clue what to do.
Then I started thinking of certain jobs that I had thought of years ago before I had decided I wanted to do graphic design. A job in the medical field was always something I thought about.
At first it was being a nurse, but I knew I didn't want to go to school for as long as it takes to become a nurse.
And after deciding I didn't want to be a nurse, the job that I was interested in for a long time, even before I got my GED, was a phlebotomist.
Which is the person that draws blood, if you didn't know.
So after looking into it more this past week—looking at how long the course is and how much money I would make—I have ultimately decided that that's what I want to do.
It annoys me a little that I'm ending back up at the job that I had thought about for so long. But I know that in the end, it worked out for the best. I might not have gotten my GED when I did had I not decided I wanted to study graphic design.
And yes, I feel slightly stupid that I spent two semesters thinking that I was going to be a graphic designer only to change my mind. But lots of people change their majors right? Lol.
The course to become a phlebotomist only takes three months, which is something that attracted me to it.
I want to have a real job. I'm twenty-five and tired of living my life the way I have for so long.
It's also a pretty secure job because they always need people in the medical field and I could really find a job as a phlebotomist anywhere if I decided I wanted to move or something.
The fact that, whenever I end up taking classes, it will only take three months to complete really excites me.
And it definitely isn't the highest paying job, but it will be enough money for me to eventually move to the apartments I've been dreaming of living in for years while still being able to live comfortably after the rent payment. I've looked at the apartments online so many times and really can't wait lol.
The course is mostly online and I will only have lab hours on Fridays which I thought was pretty cool.
I have an appointment to go to the college later this week to talk to them more about stuff, so I'll find out more then.
I know that they probably have classes starting pretty often, but I'm having surgery next month and I can't start classes until the summer or fall.
But anyways, I'm really rambling. I'm just excited.
You may be wondering: Blue, can you really stick someone with a needle and take their blood? Are you able to do that?
And I had the same questions for a long time and that was one reason I didn't follow through with this idea originally. I just didn't know if I was capable of doing that. Like would it scare me? Would I chicken out?
But recently, I had to give my mom shots for a couple weeks. And I'll be completely honest...I actually really liked doing it.
Haha! I know, I know! I'm a freak!!
So that was a big sign for me that I probably won't have a problem doing this job. I'm not scared of needles and blood doesn't make me squeamish.
I think this will all end up working out and I can finally become a normal, functioning adult.
(Well, somewhat normal and functioning. Lol.)
I think I need to stop rambling now.
I just really wanted to give you guys an update on what's happening in my life and my new plans for the future. You'll probably hear more about it when I find out new information and stuff or maybe when I actually start classes! I don't know lol. Hopefully you find this stuff interesting haha!
Thanks for reading all of this! I don't know when I'll post another one, but hopefully something interesting will happen in my life so I can write one in a month or so lol.
I'm gonna go back to stressing now. Worrying about work, writing, and uploading Sweet Kitten on inkitt. Got lots of stuff to stress about haha!
I love you guys!
I'll talk to you soon! 💕💕
Bye!