Do not question what you need not know.
The Manuals of the Bunker, Vol. 2, Verse 7
Amy stopped and looked back at me. "What?"
I gestured at the shed of piled-up stones. "I know this place." My father had pointed it out to me during one of our garbage hauls. We had passed it on its other side, walking on the concourse. He had stopped and told me what kind of trees these were.
"These are apple trees," I said.
For a moment, I hesitated. Not only was theft punished, it was wrong as well.
But then, theft would probably be the least of my crimes. And I had to survive to save my father and the craner.
Discarding caution, I clambered over the garden's stone wall—it wasn't higher than my chest. Plants covered the ground on the other side. Their delicate fronds barely reached my calves and couldn't stop me as I crossed them. I approached the trunk, squinting up into the branches, looking for the tempting, round shapes of the fruits, my mouth watering in anticipation.
But all I saw were the ragged, rough outlines of wood and leaves.
"And where are the apples, pray tell?" Amy appeared at my side.
I shrugged as a wave of fatigue washed over me. It felt like somewhere between midnight and dawn, and I yearned for sleep.
"I'm sorry!" I sat down, not caring if I crushed the plants under me. "I guess they're all plucked."
She followed suit, sitting against the tree's stem. "Great. Some apple tree!"
I seized one of the fronds sprouting at my side and pulled. Throwing the plant at the nagging brat might bring some satisfaction. It came out of the ground easily but felt unexpectedly heavy in my hand. I lifted it against the light to have a better look. A single, fat root hung from the bushel of delicate leaves.
A carrot!
I rubbed it against the leg of my trousers, and then I tossed it at her.
It hit her face before she could catch it. "Dammit, dickbrain! What do ye think ye're doing?"
"I'm feeding you." I grinned.
"Feeding me?" She scrunched her nose at the projectile. "What's this shite?"
"It's a carrot." I pulled out another one and shook it to remove the dirt. "You can eat the root." I took a bite.
She brought hers up to her face and sniffed it. "Fer sure?"
"Sure!" I bit into mine and chewed, savoring the juice wetting my gums.
She took a bite of hers. "Oh, it's... good," she said, with her mouth full.
We ate in silence. She held the vegetable in both hands, nibbling at its root like a mouse. Nightlight tinged her hair almost black.
My limbs grew heavy as I sat there.
She looked up, eyes flashing. "Ye're staring."
"No, I'm just tired."
"Did ye... ever have a woman?"
The question took me by surprise. But then I nodded.
With the thought of Jasmine, Frankie's buttocks came to mind, and I didn't feel like going into details. "And you? Have you... laid with a man?"
I wondered if she'd been with Sam or George, and the thought gave me goosebumps.
"Sure." She shrugged. "But he's been killed way back when the roof came down."
The shadows hid her face. I was tempted to prod her for details, but then she'd probably ask me about Jasmine.
She took another bite. "Can I eat the leaves, too?"
"Nope. Do you want more?" I pulled another one from the ground.
"Yes, but don't throw it."
I suppressed a chuckle as I leaned forward and handed it to her. She grabbed it from my hands. "Thanks fer..." She hesitated, then she gestured at the vegetable. "Thanks for this." She bit into it, then she spat.
"There's dirt on it," I said, smiling.
She grunted, shook the carrot, and took another bite.
"I thought you people were nipping food from here all the time?" I asked. "Didn't you get carrots, too?" Food was a safer topic than the loves of the past.
She shook her head. "We take corn, most of the time. Sometimes fruit. Way back, when I was a girl, only my mom came here, sometimes. As I already told you, she was badass and liked stealing stuff from ye soft folks. We didn't need it, though. We used to have that larger garden in the tunnels." She bit off another piece of carrot. "But then it was destroyed back when..." She swallowed. "When that tunnel roof came down. After that, the lil' garden ye saw was all we had left. For five mouths. It's not enough." She spat. "It wasn't enough."
Five—Amy, Sam, George, Lilly, and Boss. And the water had washed away the garden—and the people, probably. She was the last one of the group.
A crackling noise from the ceiling made me look up. A few sparks fell from one of the lamps. Then it grew dark.
"Another one gone." Amy's words were hard to understand between her chewing.
"It will get recycled," I said, proud to remember the word the priest had taught us at school.
"What's recycled?"
"The Engineers will replace it."
"Will they?" She huffed. "Have you ever seen them, the engineers? Or seen a lamp that got replaced?"
I shook my head. "No. The priest at school said the Engineers don't fix them right away. They'll only do it when they can recycle many of the lamps in one go."
Amy shrugged, then she plucked at the fronds of the carrot as if her mind had wandered elsewhere. I wondered where.
Did she have any plans for the future? Or was she just following her mom's words to never give up? Even if she had nothing left to fight for?
"What..." I began and groped for words. "What do you plan to do now? I mean, once you've got the candles and the food."
She stopped chewing.
I regretted my question. The words must have cornered her.
She looked up from her meal to gaze at me. "Can ye keep a secret?"
"Sure." Who should I tell it to? The only ones I really talked with were the craner, my dad, and Ed—two of them in jail, the third one dead.
"I'll eat yer black balls if ye betray this secret." She wiped her nose on the back of her hand. "But only after I've knotted yer dick."
"Your secret is safe with me."
She pointed a half-nibbled carrot at me. "Never forget that!" Then she nodded. "Okay. I'll tell ye what I plan to do. I'll go and look fer..." The breath she took held a hint of a shudder. "... fer the control room."
"The control room?" I had never heard of such a place.
"Yeah, the control room. It's a room full of light." She waved the carrot fronds at the lamps above. "Much better than this. It's where the Engineers ruled everything. With a lot of buttons."
I squinted at her, trying to read her features. "Where the Engineers ruled everything? What do you mean? The Engineers don't rule. They do the bidding of the Church."
"Rat crap! My mom told me about it," she said. "Back when the Engineers were still around, they were in the control room, and they could see the whole fucking bunker from there. Everything. And with their buttons, they ruled the tunnels, the caverns, and the machines. It's full of lights, the control room. It's somewhere. Fer real."
When the Engineers were still around? "What do you mean by... back when the engineers were around?" I asked. "The Engineers are still around. The Manuals say so."
"Ye really wanna know?" She pointed the carrot at me. "I warn you, you won't like the truth."
"Try me." I crossed my arms. She knew nothing, so what did I have to fear?
"Okay, you wanted it so." She stretched her legs, making herself more comfortable against the tree behind her. "Haven't you ever wondered why those dark lamps..." She pointed at the ceiling, "why they don't get... resected?"
"Recycled? I told you so. The engineers only do this when they can fix several of them in one go."
She squinted at the ceiling. "Look for yerself. Every third lamp or so needs fixing. Doesn't this count as several?"
"The Engineers' ways are not ours to fathom." That's what the Manuals said.
She spat. "Don't be silly. Yer Manuals are rabbit poop. Nothing more but lies. Here's the reason why nothing gets fixed: The Church snuffed the Engineers long ago."