★ And I'm thinking about how people fall in love in mysterious ways; maybe just the touch of a hand. Oh me I fall in love with you every single day, and I just wanna tell you I am. So honey now, kiss me under the light of a thousand stars. I'm thinking out loud, maybe we found love right where we are ★
.Thinking Out Loud. Ed Sheeran.
★★★
Love groaned loudly as his body hit the ground beneath him with sheer force. Without missing a second more, he placed both hands on the floor and pushed himself up again, ready to keep going.
P'Vier smirked in front of him, his thick brows coming down.
"I see you are still not ready to give up, huh?" He challenged, his head tilting slightly backwards, his chin sticking out.
Love gulped, getting into position, determined yet tired.
"Never, P'".
"Okay, then" P'Vier accepted, hands in front of him again. "On the count of three. One, two... three!".
The match didn't last longer than ten seconds before Love was sprawled out onto his back once more, moaning in pain.
Love had asked P'Vier to teach him Judo, as he had decided he wanted to start preparing better for when he could compete in the yearly tournament. He had already learned the basics last year, but he was yet to completely get the hold of it; he knew where he had to stand, and how he had to place his feet, and what movements he had to master to beat his counterpart. However, there was always such a long way between theory and practice, so even after he had been trying this since last year, when he was put in front of someone who was almost an expert in this, like P'Vier, he always managed to end up on the ground.
Some of the members of their dance team were still in classes, so Love had taken advantage of it to ask P' for help, who had gladly accepted, claiming that it was good that he was trying to step up his game so early during the year. 'If you don't slack off, you'll get it eventually' P' had told him, 'All you need is more practice'.
P'Vier's face appeared in his line of vision, the bright sky surrounding his head. He extended a hand for Love to take, which he did, and pulled him up again.
"Cheer up, you lasted longer than last time" He congratulated him with a tiny smile, the one he always had on when he was actually proud of something but didn't want to show it too much.
Love understood it now, P'Vier was happy for him.
"I suck, P'" He whined, ruffling his own hair and sighing.
P'Vier's lips curled just the tiniest bit further.
"You do" He said, and Love gasped. "But you seriously are getting better. Don't sweat it too much, I promise you'll get it".
Love pursed his lips, unsure, but accepted his words nonetheless, nodding once.
"Okay, then. If you say so".
P'Vier chuckled, patting his back and moving him towards the white bleachers that were a few feet away from them, sitting him down.
"Let's rest for a bit and then we can keep going".
"Oh, thank god. My back is killing me" Love groaned again, stretching out and letting out the softest moan, just like a kitten. "I've fallen over it like twenty times in the span of ten minutes".
P' chuckled again. "Yeah, but you still got up every single time".
"I guess" Love said, shrugging.
This part of the campus was deserted, with no soul in sight. Love found it weird that no one came here, since he knew second years like himself and fourth years like P'Vier were free from their classes already, but didn't complain about it as it was much more comfortable to practice when people weren't around.
All Love could focus on was the silence; the overwhelming quiet that was engulfing them fully, and blocking everything else around. Whenever there were no sounds, Love felt everything else ten times stronger; the plain grass and trees looked greener, and the sky bluer, and the pain in his back was increasing as the seconds ticked by. And when he gazed at P', he could almost see him thinking, the wheels turning inside his brain as his eyes posed lazily over the scene before him.
Love wondered what was going through his head, he seemed troubled.
"Are you okay, P'?" He asked, breaking the silence, as fast as a knife slice.
P'Vier glimpsed at him, before turning back to the front and sighing.
"Yeah" He said, and scratched his cheek a few times. "Yeah, don't worry".
"You know you can tell me anything, P'".
P'Vier looked at him again, more thoroughly than before, and let out a content smile, shaking his head.
"I know, Love" He told him, sincerity seeking through his words. "Thanks... but I'm not even sure how to explain it this time".
Love tilted his head to the side, his fringe moving sideways along with it.
"Does it have to do with P'Rose?" He dared to ask, not sure if he should be approaching the subject at all.
Things had ended up weird for those two. After Love had confessed to P'Vier, and had been rejected, he had ended up moving on, accepting that he wasn't the one P' wanted - he shouldn't be forcing things that weren't meant to happen. With time, Love had proven himself worthy of being P's friend, and the two of them had become closer, close enough to tell each other about their personal life. So, P'Vier had told him about P'Rose, P's ex-girlfriend who had broken his heart, but who was still friends with him. Later during the year, they had all found out P'Sean was actually P'Rose, who had made a wish to The Unicorn, to be close to P' again, and had ended up in a man's body. After she had tried getting back together with P'Vier, he had told her he had been hurt badly enough already and that they should just stay as friends. P'Rose had been devastated, but had agreed after a while, deciding to stay in the Academy to still be close to everyone else, as she had become good friends with the rest of them as well. Love hadn't found out about any changes in their relationship after that, but he had seen the way P'Vier looked at P'Sean when they were together, with longing and just the faintest touch of regret, as if still doubting his decision had been the right one after all.
P'Vier had seemed slightly more out of it than usual lately, even more than normal, so Love believed this had something to do with it
P' remained quiet for a few seconds, choosing to look towards the scenery rather than towards Love, whose stare was probably making him more nervous and adamant to talk about the subject
"I just... " He let out, frowning. "I don't get it. Why can't I move on? I want to let it go, but everytime I see her, my chest hurts".
Love nodded, as if he understood. He didn't, really, he had never been in love like that before. He sometimes felt his chest squeezing around P'Tangmo, but because they were so close nowadays, and Love liked seeing him happy.
"Maybe it's because you are still expecting something".
"Expecting something?" P' wondered, confused. "Like what?".
"Something from her. You are still expecting her to try again, to tell you she still loves you and that she is sorry, or that she should have tried harder to win you back" Love wondered out loud. "Maybe you don't want to let go because you still think it's possible for her to come back".
P'Vier gazed at him for a few seconds, thinking about it, and then sighed, and chuckled.
"When did you become so smart, huh?" He asked, shaking his head. "I don't remember you saying stuff like this last year".
Love smiled back, happy about the compliment.
"I've always been smart. You just never listen to what I say".
P' chuckled again, ruffling Love's hair. "Thanks".
Love felt proud he had been able to say something useful for once, and grinned, sticking out his chin in accomplishment. Love, the love mentor; he liked the sound of that.
When he looked at P'Vier, he didn't see his long-time idol anymore, he didn't see his unrequited crush, the perfect guy; when he looked at him, he now saw his friend, the guy who had helped him out a bunch of times, and whom he had told loads of personal things to. P'Vier had become important to him throughout this time, and Love wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
He scooted the tiniest bit closer on the bleacher, his grin widening as P' looked at him.
"What about a 'feel better' hug?".
"What? No way, I don't do hugs" P'Vier said, shaking his head.
Love groaned. "Oh, come on! Just one and you'll feel better, you'll see".
P' seemed reluctant, but after Love's intense stare and stretched out arms had lasted for long enough, he sighed, nodding.
"Fine, come here" He said, and pressed Love against his chest, his broad hands coming to rest behind Love's back, who squeezed P's waist in return.
Love sunk into the hug for a few seconds, the warmth of a body drowning him; he loved hugs, even if they weren't all better than P'Tangmo's ones. Love didn't know what he did differently than others, but whenever he was in P'Tangmo's arms, everything just felt better, simpler, as if there weren't anymore problems. He hadn't seen him at all today and he missed him, he had been thinking about asking him to help him bake cookies again.
P'Vier patted his back a few times, and pulled away, a lazy smile over his lips. Love grinned back, and then sat straighter, turning back towards the empty field.
As he did, P'Tangmo's face was suddenly a few feet away from them, his eyes slightly wide, no smile in sight.
"P'Tangmo!" Love exclaimed, happily, as he stood up and trotted towards him. "What are you doing here?".
P' looked to the side of Love's face for a few seconds, most likely to P'Vier, until he blinked a few times and brought his eyes back to Love.
He gave the younger a tentative smile, unsure.
"Hey" He said, in a quiet voice, only meant to be heard by him. He then cleared his throat, and looked between the two of them. "I, uh, I texted you but you didn't answer so I came to tell you Sean got out of class already, so we can go practice now".
Love smiled wider, nodding diligently. "Okay, P'! Let's go, then!".
P'Tangmo smiled again, softer this time, his eyes crinkling.
He then looked at P'Vier, and motioned with his head to go.
"You guys go. I'll catch up in a few seconds, I forgot something in my dorm" P'Vier told them, his eyes moving between the two of them.
Silence stretched for a few seconds more, before P'Tangmo nodded again, placing an arm behind Love's back.
"Okay, see you there, then. Come on, Love, let's get going".
Love hummed in agreement and followed P's steps. P's legs were longer than his, so he had to hurry a bit to catch up, soon getting the hold of it.
He felt happier already, with P'Tangmo besides him, he had missed him. However, P' seemed a bit down today, now walking with a straight face and no smile in sight.
Love felt the need to cheer him up, so he grabbed his hand and brought it up to his lips, planting a loud kiss there, exaggerating the noise for entertainment purposes.
"There!" He said, as P'Tangmo turned to look at him funny. "As a 'forgive me for not answering my phone'. P'Vier was just teaching me Judo, so we lost track of time".
P' stared a bit before chuckling, and shaking his head. He squeezed Love's hand in return, and brought it up to give it a kiss of his own.
"Well, then this one is as a thank you" He said, smiling.
Love grinned right back, full of joy. Life was always better with P'Tangmo around.
They fell into a sudden silence, yet not at all uncomfortable. They didn't need to talk to enjoy each other's company, just being around him was enough for Love. Love now was still surrounded by silence, where students were not around yet, and he could still feel things more strongly; the hand that was in his felt warm, and calming, and the softest sounds of their rhythmic walk were reassuring. Reassuring that P'Tangmo was also there with him, and that things were okay.
He heard a faint muttering besides him, and saw P' deep in thought.
"Did you say anything?" He asked him, frowning.
P' seemed startled, but soon recovered, a smile tainting his lips.
"No, sorry. I was just... " He said, hesitating. "Thinking out loud".
Love nodded, understanding. He tended to think things out loud too, usually when he was alone in his room.
He stared at P' then, who hadn't gazed away from him, and widened his eyes a bit, trying to convey his feelings.
"Well... if you wanna talk about anything, just know that I'm right here".
P'Tangmo smiled again, small and guarded, but with fondness in his eyes.
He nodded. "I know, Love".
★★★
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