Chapter 16
"What the fuck did you just said?" Philodemus clenched his jaw, shooting daggers at me.
I pulled my knees into my chest and hugged it. Ipinatong ko ang baba ko sa tuhod at ngumuso.
"Why? Can't I have a boyfriend—"
"So you did have a boyfriend while you were away?" he asked bitterly.
Pigilan ko man ang pagsilay ng ngiti sa labi ko ay hindi ko magawa. Napangisi ako. Mas lalong kumunot ang noo ni Philodemus.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me..." he muttered angrily under his breath.
Humagikhik ako. "You're overacting. This feels somewhat evil," ngumuso ulit ako. "I'm only human, Philodemus. Why do you act like I can't have a boyfriend? People are suckers for love. Tao rin naman ako at naa-attract sa iba. I'm not perfect, you know..."
Unti-unting nawala ang kunot nito sa noo. He rubbed his temples and then sighed.
"Yes, you're not perfect. But you can be loyal..."
Tumaas ang kilay ko. A soft chuckle escaped from my throat. "It's not like I'm committed to you."
His eyes darkened. Mabilis niyang kinalas ang suot na seatbelts at nilapitan ako. Napaatras tuloy ako nang di oras.
"Then... be committed to me."
Kumunot ang noo ko sa sinabi niya. "What do you mean—"
"Be my girlfriend." He cut me off. "Give me the right to get jealous whenever a scumbag of a president tries to get into your pants. I couldn't accept your friendship, Shortie, so you might as well give me a relationship."
My mouth hung open. Ilang segundo pa akong nakatitig sa kaniya, hindi alam kung anong isasagot. Hirap iproseso ng utak ko ang mga sinabi niya.
"Girlfriend...?"
"Yes. I don't like kissing my friends..." he said huskily. Nadadala na naman ako sa magaspang at inaantok nitong boses. Huminga ako nang malalim.
I licked my lower lips nervously. Sobrang lakas ng tibok ng puso ko. Am I hearing this right? He really wants me to become his girlfriend?
"T-Tatanungin ko pa si Dad kung p-pwede ba—"
"Bullshit." A car honked behind us, making me jump on my seat. Inignora iyon ni Philodemus. He's too busy glaring at me right now. "We both know that's bullshit, Shortie."
"Uhm..."
"And I'm not asking you to become my girlfriend. I am demanding you." he clarified.
Umawang nang bahagya ang bibig ko sa gulat. He smirked at me and finally leaned away. Kung hindi pa siya lumayo ay hindi ko rin mamamalayang pinipigilan ko pala ang paghinga ko. Para nang sasabog ang dibdib ko sa sobrang kaba.
He put on his seatbelt again and then continued driving. Lutang pa rin ako sa nangyaring usapan. I almost couldn't believe it. I swallowed and stole a glance from him. Seryoso siyang nakatingin sa daan habang nagmamaneho.
Boyfriend.
Yumuko ako upang hindi niya makita ang pagsilay ng ngiti sa mukha ko. Why would a guy as hot and famous as him would want me as his girlfriend? I'm an awkward anti-social girl with suicide issues. And what would he say to me once he finds out about me slashing my wrists and trying to swallow a bottle of pills?
Maraming tumatakbo sa isipan ko na hindi ko namalayang nakarating na pala kami sa mansion. Katulad ng dati ay bumagal na ang takbo ni Philodemus pagdating sa kanto. I slowly unbuckled my seatbelt and then grabbed the strap of my bag. But I made no move to get out of the car. Nilingon ako ni Philodemus.
"Pwede bang... itago muna natin sa kanila ang relasyong ito?"
His brows furrowed again in anger. Before he could open his mouth, I beat him to it.
"I still have a lot of issues, Philodemus and... I don't want this relationship to add in my list. My parents are against us. I can't let them know about us. I know I'm being unfair but... let me be selfish this time. People kill whatever my source of happiness is. I don't want them to ruin my relationship, too."
Umigting ang panga nito at tumitig nang mariin sa akin, halatang nag-iisip. After a few agonizing moments, he nodded his head quietly.
"I understand."
I smiled weakly at him. "Thanks."
"Alright." He expelled a resigned sigh. "Come here..."
My brows furrowed but I obliged. Philodemus pulled me into a hug and allowed me to rest my head against his chest.
"I hate how these people have fucked up your mindset..." came a kiss on the top of my head. "But I'm willing to wait until you're ready to announce to everyone that you are mine."
Sumikip ang dibdib ko sa sinabi niya. I nodded my head and then closed my eyes. The feeling of being taken care of is still foreign to me. As a child who grew up being neglected all her life, I feel like I don't deserve all the love I receive. Especially from a guy like him.
Don't hurt me. Please.
Hindi ko napigilan ang pag-agos ng luha ko. I cried silently as he held me. Nahiya pa ako nang mapansin niya ang pagtangis ko. Instead of asking me what's wrong, he hugged me tighter until I calmed down.
God. I'm so full of drama.
"Hindi kita nakita kanina, ah? Saan ka naglunch?" tanong ni Shantel sa akin nang makapasok na ako. She placed her phone down and glanced at me. Nakaupo siya sa sofa at nakalatag ang mga libro sa harapan niya. Medyo kinabahan pa ako dahil baka nakita niya ng nakapark na sasakyan ni Philodemus sa kanto kanina.
"Ah... kasama ko ang kaibigan ko."
"Really? Who?" she tilted her head and studied me for a while.
"Si... Dominick..." alanganin ko pang sagot kahit hindi naman ako nagsisinungaling. Siguro ay dahil pa rin ito sa kaba na baka nakita niya nga kami sa labas kanina o ng kung sino mang kasambahay.
"Let's have lunch together at the cafeteria," she chirped. "I'm sure you're still getting used to your new learning environment."
I licked my lower lips and then averted my gaze. Now I'm about to lie. "Ano kasi... nangako ako kay Dominick na sabay pa rin kaming maglunch bukas. I can't just ditch him. Pasensiya na."
"Oh. It's okay." Tapos sumilay ang ngisi sa mga labi nito. "Are you, by any chance, dating this Dominick dude?"
Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa sinabi niya. "Huh? No!" I defended immediately. Pumula ang mga pisngi ko. "I'm not dating him..."
She giggled. "You sounded like you do. But don't worry. Hindi ito makakaabot kina mommy at dad." She winked at me.
I felt uncomfortable all of a sudden, kaya minabuti ko nang ituro ang kwarto ko sa taas. "Magpapahinga na muna ako."
"Alright."
Being good at hiding secrets doesn't mean I want it. I actually don't want to hide secrets, especially for the few people I think are special to me. But I just can't risk it. My relationship with Philodemus will and must remain a secret. It's the kind of intimacy that we cannot broadcast in daylight. It'll self-destruct once it leaks to everyone, especially to my parents.
"What's this?"
Ngumuso ako. Kumunot ang noo ni Philodemus habang nakatitig sa laman ng Tupperware na dala ko.
"That's food."
"I know." his lips twitched. Mas lalo pa akong nainis sa kaniya. Nagpipigil siya ng tawa. "I mean... baby, what kind of food is this?"
Bahagya ko siyang sinipa mula sa ilalim ng lamesa. He chuckled. "Alam kong medyo sunog yung kanin tsaka pangit sobrang taba ng pagkakaslice ng patatas. But it's still... edible."
"You cooked this?" hindi pa rin nawawala ang multo ng tawang pilit niyang pinipigilan sa mga labi.
"Kung ayaw mong kainin eh di huwag nalang!" pagalit kong wika. Aagawin ko na sana ang Tupperware mula sa kaniya nang pigilan niya ang kamay ko.
"I'm just asking, Shortie..." kalmado niyang wika. Nawala na ang bakas ng ngiti sa labi nito. I don't know if he's just faking it for my sake or he'd gone really serious this time. "Luto mo?"
Nahihiya akong tumango sa kaniya. I woke up early this morning to prepare the food we're going to eat at lunch, only to find out that I'm such a mess in the kitchen. Dalawang kasambahay pa ang tumulong sa akin para lang matapos ko ito. Mother frowned at me at sinabihan akong pinapabagal ko lang daw ang trabaho nila sa kusina. I shrugged her comment off and focused on cooking.
Even if this relationship is secret, I could at least try to be a normal girlfriend to him. The one who cooks him food.
"I'll eat this." Seryoso niyang sinabi sabay kuha sa tinidor at tinusok ang matigas na patatas. Nag-angat pa siya ng tingin sa akin bago puwersang tinusok ulit ito at ipinasok sa bibig niya. He chewed and tried not to scrunch his face. "See? I'm eating it..." then he swallowed hard.
I groaned. "You don't have to force yourself it it's really not edible..." ngumuso ako. Hindi pa naman ako bumili ng pagkain sa cafeteria kanina kasi nga confident ako na ipinagluto ko siya. Palpak naman pala. "You'll get an upset stomach."
But he didn't listen to me. instead, he stabbed another half-cooked potato again with his fork and chewed rather loudly. Natatawa pa rin siya. Inirapan ko siya.
"Is it that bad?"
"Just... a little hard." He swallowed. "I guess?"
"Maybe we should just eat the cake?" I suggested. "I doubt you'll be able to finish it."
"Hmm. Good idea." He didn't even bother to act. Kinuha niya ang isa pang transparent food container na dala ko at binuksan ito. "What's this?" he stared at the cream-filled cake I packed earlier. Nakita ko lang ito sa fridge. I don't even know who bought it. Basta ko nalang dinala.
"It's a cream pie. Do you like cream pie?"
"Oh..." a devilish grin appeared on his lips. Itinukod niya ang dalawang siko sa sementong lamesa at inilapit ang mukha sa akin. Then he whispered in his usual raspy tone. "I love cream pie, Shortie..."
"Huh?"
He chuckled. Napaiilng ito at natawang muli habang bumabalik sa kinauupuan. Hindi ko naintindihan ang sinabi niya. Nakakunot lang ang noo kong nakatitig sa kaniya habang nilalantakan ang cake na dinala ko.
Okay. So my boyfriend loves cream pies. Noted.
Hindi nawawala ang ngisi sa mukha ni Philodemus habang patuloy kami sa pagkain. I shrugged. Hinayaan ko nalang siya. Maya't maya ay panay ang tingin ko sa bandang gym. Alas dyes y media pa naman at hindi pa lunchtime ng mga high school students. Pero baka kasi may mapadpad dito at isumbong kami. Medyo kinakabahan ako.
"Anong oras matatapos ang klase mo?" tanong niya sa akin habang pareho kaming nagliligpit ng pinagkainan.
"Uhm... 6:30 pa ako. Ikaw?"
"Five."
"Mauna ka nalang—"
"I'll wait for you." he cut me off. Inagaw niya ang pinaglagyan ko ng mga food container kanina at siya na mismo ang nagsilid noon. Maayos at halatang hindi nagmamadali. Pagkatapos ay ibinigay niya ito sa akin.
"Okay." I said.
Philodemus helped me to climb the brick wall again. Pangalawang beses ko na itong nagawa pero hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin ako tinatantanan ng kaba. When we finally got on the other side, I dusted off my pants and then turned to him.
He held my hands and then tugged me. Huminto ako at napatingin sa kamay niyang nakahawak sa akin. Philodemus turned to me with knitted eyebrows before realization crossed his handsome face.
"Damn. Oo nga pala..." nanlulumo niyang pinakawalan ang kamay ko at nilapitan ako.
He pressed a chaste kiss on my forehead, to my surprise. His kiss has never been uncorrupted. It's always been... passionate and hungry. No sign of innocence. Ibang-iba sa ngayon.
For me, it was the most special kiss I've received from him.
"Let's go..." he said. Nauna siyang maglakad kesa sa akin. Tahimik lamang akong nakasunod sa kaniya, hindi pa rin nawawala ang init ng mamasa-masa niyang labi sa noo ko. I can't help but smile.
Naghiwalay na kami nang marating ko na ang building namin. I waved at him and then strode off. Tamad niya naman in-adjust ang strap ng kaniyang canvas bag at naglakad patungo sa kaniyang klase.
When I arrived at the classroom, no one's still there. I took a seat and then pulled out my phone. Opening the browser app, I typed something.
Recipes for creampie
"Oh my God!!" muntik ko nang mabitawan ang phone ko sa mga imaheng lumabas. My entire face reddened. Mas lalo pa akong sumabog sa matinding kaba at kahihiyan nang maunahan ako sa pagdampot ng cellphone ko ni Dominick.
"Ano 'to?" he asked, then stared at my phone, before his eyes widened.
"I-It's not what you think it is..." nauutal at parang naiiyak ko nang wika.
Malakas na tawa ang umalingawngaw sa loob ng bakanteng classroom. Dominick clutched his stomach, laughing his ass out. Pulang-pula na ang mukha niya sa sobrang tawa.
"Dominick..." angal ko. Mabilis kong binura ang browser history at hiyang-hiyang ibinalik ang phone sa bulsa ng aking pantalon.
"B-Bakit... oh my God... bakit ka nags-search nun?"
"Eh hindi ko naman alam na..." my cheeks burned in embarrassment again. Kaya pala tawa nang tawa si Philodemus kanina. God, I hate him! "Hindi ko alam na yun pala ang meaning nun..."
"Girl, ang cream tsaka pie, may space! Pag one word lang, iba talaga ang kalalabasan nun!"
Nanlulumo akong napaupo. Halos hindi na ako makatingin kay Dominick sa sobrang pagkapahiya ko. I bit my lower lips and then buried my face on the desk. Tawa pa rin siya nang tawa nang tabihan niya ako.
On my second class that afternoon, naghiwalay na kaming dalawa ni Dominick. Habang naglalakad ako sa hallway ay namataan ko kaagad si Philodemus na nakaupo sa sementong bench malapit sa puno ng Sampalok. May kausap siyang tatlong lalaki. Bumagal ang paglakad ko. While he was talking, his eyes drifted to me.
I smiled tightly at him. Tango ang naging sagot niya. Sinundan iyon ng tingin ng mga kausap niya kaya tumungo ako at mabilis na naglakad palayo. Nag-usap na kami na hindi kami pwedeng makitang magkasama na kaming dalawa lang sa school. Kaya kapag may ibang tao, tanguan at ngitian lang ang nagagawa namin.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
I jabbed an angry finger at Philodemus' chest the moment I saw him. Tapos na ang klase ko at kaagad akong dumiretso sa parking lot. Kumunot ang noo niya at litong tiningnan ako.
"Tell you what...?"
"That... that c-cream pie!" I said, my cheeks reddening once again.
He let out a curse and then burst out laughing. Philodemus threw his head back, letting the wind dance with his raven hair as a throaty laugh sounded in the almost-deserted parking lot.
Inirapan ko siya. Even with the irritation, I can't help but to admire him. Not when his ear piercing is glistening in the dark and every now and then, I get to glimpse of his silver tongue piercing as well.
"How did you know?" natatawa pa rin niyang tanong sa akin.
Hindi ako kumibo. Ayoko ngang sabihin sa kaniya na isi-nearch ko ito kanina. Mamaya pagtawanan pa ako ng lalaking ito. He draped an arm around my shoulders and then grinned at me.
"Well?"
"You're making fun of me."
Umusog siya dahilan upang mapaatras ako hanggang sa tumama ang pang-upo ko sa hood ng kotse niya. Without a warning, he lifted me up and made me sit on the hood. Philodemus parted my legs and claimed his space. Nagpanic kaagad ako.
"Philodemus—"
"Ssh. Relax, baby... wala ng tao dito sa parking lot..." he whispered, still chuckling to himself. His hush chuckles tapped the wild side of me again. Kung anu-ano na naman ang pumapasok sa isipan ko. "You're so damn innocent..." he rested his face on the crook of my neck and inhaled my scent.
I hesitantly wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders and started to relax as well. Looking up at the moon, I smiled. I feel so at peace tonight. It's strangely beautiful.
"Come to my house tonight?"
Saglit akong nag-isip. His offer is really tempting but...
"Mapapagalitan ako ni mommy." Ani ko. "And I still have school works to do."
"Hmm. This weekend, then?"
"Bakit? Another party again?"
"Nope." He pulled away. "Netflix and chill." Philodemus grinned.
Mabilis ko siyang hinampas. "Alam ko ang ibig sabihin ng Netflix and chill na yan—"
He chuckled. "I'm just kidding. But seriously, I just missed spending time with you alone. It frustrates me that I can't even approach you at school without hiding. Besides, namimiss ka na ng ahas ko..." makahulugan niyang wika.
I groaned. Lahat nalang ba ng sasabihin niya sa akin ay may double meaning? O green-minded lang ba talaga ako?
Philodemus started kissing my neck again. Napangisi nalang ako. Heto na naman siya.
"Philodemus..."
He ignored me. Napasinghap ako nang maramdaman ko ang kamay niya sa hita ko na nagtataas-baba. Even with the thick fabric of my jeans, I could feel the hair of my legs saluting to his touch. Hindi na tuloy ako mapakali sa kinauupuan ko.
I want to protest but I love how his lips feels against my skin. He just knows where to touch a girl, how to arouse her with his expert tongue and fingers. Pakiramdam ko ay mababaliw na talaga ako kapag palagi kaming ganito.
"You smell good..." he whispered.
"Thanks?" I chuckled. I want to lighten up the mood because I could feel myself giving in. But Philodemus, being the sexy human being that he is, smirked and then gripped my waist.
Napaigtad ako nang bayolenteng tumunog ang cellphone ko. Philodemus is still busy with my neck when I pulled out my phone.
Shantel calling...
Bago ko pa man ito mapindot ay mabilis na inagaw ni Philodemus ang cellphone ko. With a frown on his face, he pressed the reject button and turned my phone off. Isinilid niya sa bulsa ng kaniyang pantalon ang aking cellphone.
Umawang ang bibig ko sa gulat. His eyes darkened.
"Disturbo." Aniya bago ipinagpatuloy ang ginagawa.