I didn't speak again until we reached the outskirts of town. Kieran's revelation left me reeling. I'd been so certain his silence the other day equaled admission, but I was wrong. For me, it was a relief, but as I sneaked glances at the boy walking at my side, I understood what the silence really meant.
Kieran felt guilty.
He hadn't compromised, and now, he walked free while his friends were chained to a vile creature. But... I thought about what he'd said to me. The way he'd described my tail, and the longing he'd stirred inside of me... it was longing he felt too. There had to be some part of him that wondered if he'd made the right choice. If his soul was really worth giving up the ocean, and for a moment, I understood. Maybe, for a Merrow, the soul and the sea were one and the same.
When the soft earth beneath our feet turned to asphalt, we stopped holding hands. Letting the village know how deep our connection went was risky. They needed to think I was isolated, that my allies were sparse. But it didn't stop me from missing the warmth of his flesh against mine, and within moments, the Island's brisk wind turned my fingers to ice.
"Kieran," I asked, keeping my voice to a whisper as we weaved through the narrow streets, "how do you know your tail is green?"
He cut his eyes toward me but didn't turn his head. "I forget..."
"How much you don't know," I finished for him.
"Sorry. Males are different than females."
"Ya think," I joked wiggling my eyebrows at him. Anything to ease the tension in his hunched shoulders.
It worked. Sort of. His body didn't relax, but his lips did. Just a hint of the Kieran I first met reappeared.
"Males will always have the same colored tails as their sire. Guess it's the part of us that's half animal. A way to mark their offspring. Guarantee paternity. It's how a lot of the wilder Merrow and Finfolk organize themselves into tribes. By tail color."
"Guess they don't care about their daughters?" I was striving for teasing and missed the mark by a mile.
"It's not like that. Having a daughter is a great honor. A woman's tail is about expression. It reveals something about her nature. The more beautiful and unique the tail, the higher station the woman can achieve."
"So what you're saying is mermaids are just as shallow as humans."
The boy beside me rolled his eyes and threw up his arms. "Sure."
"Well, what do you expect?" I demanded. "That sounds terrible."
"I'm sorry. I don't mean to make it sound that way. You're asking me to put our society's very intricate and extensive culture into a few words."
"Yours. Not ours."
"Isla," he said, stopping in front of a modest cottage. Inside, I could hear childish squeals and laughter. "You've got to accept that you're part of this world. Like it or not."
"No, because if I get what I want, I'll leave all of this behind."
Hurt swam through his eyes. Jaw tight, he knocked on the door and refused to look at me again. A small part of me wanted to apologize, but the bigger part knew it would be a lie. I wasn't sorry for not wanting this life.
A little girl appeared in the doorway, a bright, gap toothed smile stretching across her freckled, brown face when she spied Kieran. With a whoop, she launched herself across the threshold and into his arms. He spun around twice before squeezing her tight.
"Well hello, Golda," he said, placing her on her feet. "Is Tara home?"
Golda flashed pouty eyes at Kieran before looking at me. They hardened. "What's she doing here?"
"Don't be like that, G."
"Mum won't like it if she sees her here. She blames her for Al, you know."
Of course she does. Because it makes perfect sense to blame someone for a curse set in motion hundreds of years before their birth. If anyone wants to put blame on someone, they should put it on my father. If he'd raised me up with this knowledge, if he'd trusted me... perhaps things would be different now.
"We won't be staying long. We need Tara's help. It's for Al."
"Fine," the child said, spinning on her heel and disappearing into the house.
"Cute kid. Seems like someone has a crush."
"Are you jealous?"
"Of a seven year old. Should I be?"
"Well, that's only a ten year difference. Not a big deal when we're all adults."
"Eww," I said, scrunching my nose. "Do you really think about that?"
"At least I know she'll be in my life ten years from now."
His face dared me to argue. Begged me to argue. So many emotions swirled in the air around us, and I took a step to close the distance between us. I didn't care who was looking. But Tara's timing was impeccable.
"Golda said you needed me?"
Gone was my ray of sunshine. Not a speck of the usual yellow adorned any part of Tara's body, and she looked me over with cold indifference.
"Isla wants to meet our friend," he said.
Tara's body went taut, and the mask she wore slipped. Only for a moment, but long enough to let me she was still in there somewhere.
"Why?"
"Because, I want to make this right. For everyone."
"Did Kieran warn you? She doesn't give anything for free."
"He did, but I think she'll want what I'm offering."
"Let me grab my coat," she started to turn around but hesitated. "Niko is here. She'll have to come along."
I looked at Kieran and he nodded. "That's fine. We can trust her."
"Alright, then," Tara said, "Let's do this."
By the time we made it back to Shipwreck Cove, the sun was sinking low on the horizon, and the temperature had dropped at least ten degrees. Warm breath escaped between chilled lips, turning to silver mist before dissipating to nothing. We stood in a line, just far enough the waves couldn't break against our shoes. I wondered what we were waiting for, but for once in my life, I kept my mouth shut as sunset pink turned to the glowing purple of twilight.
"Niko and I will swim around to the cave. It'll be faster. By the time she responds to our summons, you two should be in place," Tara explained.
"Are you ready for this?" Niko asked me, her dark eyes luminous in the dark. "She's not an easy creature to bargain with."
"I know." I left it at that. No need to go into the details of my last encounter with the witch. It would undo my nerve, and this meeting had to happen.
"You can still back out," Kieran said.
"No, I can't. I don't agree with anything my father has done to get to this point, but I'm not so heartless that I don't want to find a way to save everyone. If there's even a chance Agnes has the answers, then we have to do this."
"Alright, then," Tara said before Kieran could continue.
Back to us, she pulled her top over her head and tossed it aside. Niko did the same. Everything else followed until they were in their natural state, skin of coal and tan silvered by the moonlight as they waded into the sea.
I was prepared this time for the blinding glow that flashed before they transformed, and I turned my face away from the glare. When I turned back, they were gone. Not even a ripple on the surface of the strangely calm seas marked where they'd been.
Kieran pointed at the cliffs. "Let's climb."
Fifteen minutes later, we stood in the dark tunnel- this time thankfully devoid of glowing lights. Without lightning and lashing rain hampering my every move, the journey had been easy. Almost too easy, but I didn't want to dwell on that. Only positive thoughts.
"When I saw Agnes last, she didn't look like a mermaid," I said, making small talk to keep my mind occupied. Anything to keep it from thinking about salt water filling my lungs. Positive thoughts.
"Did you see her above water or below?"
"Does it matter?"
"Actually, it does."
"I suppose I saw her from above and below. But she was made of water."
"Magic," he explained, offering his hand to help me over an uneven portion of the cave. "She must've not been present physically."
That brought me to a stop. "You mean she did all of that without even being here?"
"It's not too late, Isla."
"Kieran. Enough. I am meeting Agnes." But my voice betrayed my conviction. "Tell me more about sirens."
With a sigh, he continued, "Sirens look like mermaids above the water. Hauntingly beautiful. Almost painful to look at. It's how they lure so many men to their deaths."
"And below the surface?"
"And below they look like the soulless monsters they are. Like rotting corpses." He shuddered. "Once a human reaches that point, it's too late. They've already given their soul to the siren."
"You know, you really know how to sell being a mermaid," I quipped.
We walked into the room that faced out into the ocean. It was far more dazzling in the dark than it had been in the gray light of day. The entrance acted like a focal point for the moonlight, turning it into a beam that pierced the ocean. Water that should've been inky black was all shades of diamond crusted teal and turquoise.
"What now?"
"We wait."