"What's the plan?" Loki asked.
"There's a man called the Grandmaster," I said. "We gain his favor, use his resources and connections to find Valkyrie and Thor, and get the heck out of here."
We hiked up a hill of discarded ships and stared up at an enormously large palace.
"This almost puts Asgard to shame," Loki said.
"Exactly what I was thinking."
Two guards escorted us to what was probably the throne room, although it had no throne, just a floating chair with an odd man sitting in it.
"I thought I said no interruptions!" the guy in the chair said. "Where is my melt stick? Where--" He paused as he caught sight of us. "Mayhem! Why didn't you say something? It's been a while, hasn't it?"
Loki looked at me questioningly, but I just shrugged my shoulders in response.
"Do you know him?" The Grandmaster asked, referring to Loki.
"Yes. This is--"
"Loki," he said as he nodded respectfully, "of Jotunheim."
"Ooh, fancy." He waved his angry assistant over. "Show Mayhem and this Loki to the West Tower. He turned to me. "We've done a few renovations since you were last here."
"My thanks," I said as the lady walked us quickly through one of the doors.
"Scrapper 142!" We heard the Grandmaster say to the next arrival behind us.
"I do not think he is sane," Loki whispered to me.
"Nor do I, but he's probably our best chance of finding Valkyrie and Thor."
After a stomach-dropping elevator ride, a walk through a hallway filled with dead bodies, and about a dozen wrong turns, we finally reached our destination.
"The West Tower," Topaz said blandly, then left.
The door opened to a winding staircase that sparkled in the sunlight slanting through the floor-to-ceiling windows. We climbed the eighty-four steps to an open doorway, which led to probably the fanciest living space I had ever seen. A mix of artifacts and new technology covered the walls and expensive looking furniture was scattered around the room.
"How big is this place?" Loki asked in amazement.
"This room, a library, a bedroom, a walk-in closet, and an extremely spacious balcony," I said, surprising myself.
"How did you know that?"
"Mayhem, if I had to guess."
"Did you live here?"
"For a time." I propped one of the big windows open. "Sakaar is a lawless place where fighting is glorified and stealing is the lifestyle. It's perfect for someone like me."
"It doesn't seem like a bad place to be," Loki agreed. "Do you know if Thor is here yet?"
"He may not be for some time. The way time is measured is weird here, so it could be weeks before he arrives, or he could have already been here for many months."
"Then we should probably start looking for the Valkyrie now."
"From what I saw, she interacts with the Grandmaster."
"So becoming associates with him would prove to be useful."
"Exactly."
I was interrupted by an almost-human voice from a speaker on the wall. "The Grandmaster has invited you to a pre-gladiatorial fight celebration in honor of a new contender."
"I guess that's our chance," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "Do you think I can go in this?" I gestured to my battle-style Asgardian clothing.
"Probably not."
"Fine." I created a semi-permanent illusion of a dress based off Asgardian custom, but with the more free style of Sakaar weaved in. The high neckline copied Asgard, while the sleeved that ended at the shoulders added a bit of modernivity. Color-wise, it was black but faded to a dark green the closer it got to the hem.
"You look... stunning," Loki said.
"I feel like I'm way too dressed up for a survey mission."
"We have to maintain our cover." He had a more Sakaarian version of his usual attire. "You'll be fine.
We walked hand in hand to a room filled with some species I recognized and others I didn't.
"Do you see her?" Loki asked.
"Not yet." I caught the attention of one of the more normal-looking people. "Excuse me?" I said in his language, "have you seen any Asgardian-looking people lately?"
"I can't say that I have," he said. "You speak well. Where did you learn?"
"Oh, I pick up languages easily," I said dismissively. "I presume you speak English? My friend here prefers science to languages."
"Of course I speak English," he said. "But let's keep what I'm saying between you and me."
"I'll pass," I said in English. "Do you know of anyone who can actually be of any help?"
"They might." He pointed to a group of drinking rich people sitting around a table before walking away.
"What did he want?" Loki asked, glaring at the man.
"Something that I was unwilling to provide." We walked over to the table the man had indicated.
"Mayhem!" one of the shouted. "Where have you been?"
"Everywhere and more," I said, sitting down.
"Who's the guy?" another asked.
"That's Loki, my partner in crime. Have you seen any Asgardians lately?"
"Not in a while." She handed us two drinks. "So, what's new?"
"Not all that much, if I'm being honest," I said, looking to Loki for help.
"Have you heard the tale of how I tried to take over Asgard but ended up saving it instead?" he said, coming to my aid.
"Do tell," the woman said.
"Imagine for a moment that you are the second son of the most powerful being in the universe. This said king has brought peace to countless words for centuries. Now imagine that the heir to this brilliant king is a self-centered reckless idiot who thinks that he knows everything."
"Goodness," one of the ladies said.
Loki was an animated storyteller; his tone changed with the mood of the story. "But as the second son, you are strategic, calm, and think about the good of the people first. If there were a way to get this unprepared heir out of the picture, you would do it, right?"
"Right."
"I was put in this situation. In a rash decision, my brother decided that killing an entire race would help save our country. This, of course, got him banished. My father fell into a sort of coma, leaving me to take the throne.
"Before my father fell into the coma, I learned that I was one of the people from the country my brother tried to destroy. That, in addition to my brother's return from banishment, lead to a state of panic. I used a weapon to begin to destroy the country I previously mentioned. I failed, luckily. When the weapon was destroyed, the shock wave sent me hanging off a cliff, barely holding on to a spear that my brother was holding.
"Still hanging from the spear, I implored that my father, who had woken from the coma, see from my point of view. He denied that my goal of saving my country was a valid one."
The people at the table, who had been listening intently, gasped.
"I had a choice to make. I could either climb back to the top of the cliff and risk imprisonment upon my return, or I can survive the fall, live my own life, and see the look on my brother's face when he sees that I'm alive."
The people laughed.
"So, I had this heartbroken face that probably made my father and brother feel terrible. It was probably one of my best performances. And then, I let go.
They all laughed, Loki and I along with them.
"Loki?" Thor asked. "Loki!"