THE EVENING SEEMED to go at the pace of a snail. It took what seemed like ages until the hosts bid everyone goodnight and the various celebrities in the room made their way towards the doors. Dahye had breathed out in relief when she finally got to stand up and stretch her legs, eager to get some food into her starving stomach.
Now, she stood in the ballroom where the after party was being held. She was at the cocktail by herself that Kisok had reserved for both of them earlier in the night, trailing the rounded edge of her untouched fluted champagne glass with the tips of her finger. Her eyes traveled across the room absentmindedly—normally she would go up and talk to the people she knew, but tonight she just wanted to be alone. After the hassle of the show had ended and there wasn't anything to occupy her mind to leave out unpleasant thoughts, Seyoon's words had come back to her mind no matter how much she tried to busy herself with something else. Dahye had lost her appetite altogether; her plate filled with the food she was actually looking very forward to eat before remained untouched in front of her, evidence that Seyoon had affected her more than she had expected. It had been six fucking months for crying out loud. Why hadn't she pulled herself out of this gutter of misery and sadness? Why wasn't she able to move on like Seyoon had long before they even broke up. It had been almost a year yet Dahye couldn't seem to get herself completely detached from his influence.
"Hey," Jay's voice suddenly sounded, breaking her train of thought. He approached her table with a glass of champagne in hand, the other hand busy with fixing the buttons on his jacket. "What are you doing here by yourself?"
Dahye turned her head to her best friend, hoping that he wouldn't realize the sadness and nervousness in her eyes. She was baffled that just thinking about Seyoon made her feel so low so quickly. "Kisok went to the bathroom. I'm just waiting for him to return."
Jay frowned at her words, sensing something was off in the way she averted her eyes away and nervously picked at her cuticles, a habit she had had ever since he met her. "Well, our table is just across the room," he pointed off into the distance, but it was hard to see in the darkness and strobe lights. "Why don't you come over and join us? Hyukwoo's been meaning to talk to you anyways."
Dahye shrugged. "I actually want to stay alone right now, if you don't mind," she scratched her arm. "I'm feeling bit tired anyways, so I might head out early."
"Are you okay?" Jay's voice was laced with worry. His face became serious in a matter of seconds, his eyes hardening. "Wait a second," he frowned, scanning the younger girl's face intently. "Is this about Seyoon?"
"No, it's not—"
"The fuck it's not," he scoffed. "What did he do now? Did he text to you after we talked at the hotel?"
"No, he didn't," Dahye shook her head rapidly. Then she realized she looked like she was lying. "I mean, why would he text me for? We have nothing to talk about, you said so yourself."
Jay didn't look too convinced, but for his best friend's sake he decided to let it go. He could see the pain hidden behind Dahye's beautiful brown eyes, even if they were concealed by the pale grey contact lenses she had worn for the evening. Her gaze flitted across his face, pleading with everything she had in her to not push the matter further and just let it go.
Jay knew that the break up had jarred Dahye and shaken her to core. For two years, Seyoon had been her rock, the man she loved and cherished with everything she had. For two years, they had been inseparable, the power couple of the music industry, loved by everyone alike. But for two years Jay had also seen his best friend be torn apart by Seyoon—he spent countless nights stroking Dahye's hair as she lied on her bed crying over a fight she had with Seyoon, spent sleepless nights trying to console her through her worries of Seyoon being with another woman, spent endless nights trying to make sure she didn't overdose on bottles of vodka and soju. The news of their separation and Seyoon's lies had impacted Dahye as deep as a knife went, changing her entirely. Although Jay and the rest of the group had participated in the effort to bring back the sparkly, happy Dahye they once knew, they had to learn to accept that Dahye would never truly be the same. And this was one of those times when Jay realized that the Dahye who once told him everything now hid herself behind layers of make up and well-worded lies.
Dahye reached for Jay's hand across the table. "You don't have to worry about me, okay? I'm perfectly fine, Jay. I'm not gonna let him get to him even if that's what he's trying to do."
Jay put his hand on top of hers as he stared at her with warm brown eyes. "I know that you can take care of yourself, baby Dae. It's just... I don't know, I just don't like him popping out of nowhere, y'know? Why wait for now?"
Dahye shrugged, her voice quiet over the loud music. "I guess he got bored of whatever new girl toy he has," she tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "I'm not gonna let him ruin this night out of all the possible nights he could have."
Both Jay's and Dahye's eyes traveled to the two, shiny gold trophies placed carefully near her purse on the table. Engraved on the plaque jutting our from the bottom of the trophy indicated the categories she had won. A smile graced Dahye's features as she felt proudness envelope her body. Jay knew Dahye had worked incredibly hard on her album and each and every one of the songs. She had chosen to reveal some of the most vulnerable pieces of her being to her fans and the world, and talked about her struggles with alcoholism and depression after her breakup with Seyoon. He felt proud of her, both for winning the awards and for having such a tolerant and supportive fan base who encouraged her to be strong and made her feel loved after the album was released.
"You know, I know just the right place we can put these bad boys," Jay nodded at the trophies. Dahye laughed at him, shaking her head at his comment.
"Don't tell me that you reserved a space for me in the award cabinet back at home."
Jay smiled sheepishly. "Well, that's actually just what I did, complete with a display light." He stroked his thumb over the skin of her hand. "I just want you to know how incredibly proud I am with you, Dae. You've come so far in such a short amount of time and you're the greatest best friend and colleague I could have ever asked for."
Dahye smiled back at him, her heart warm and content with happiness. "I couldn't have done any of this without your help or guidance. You deserve as much credit as me for all of my accomplishments." She then looked at her purse and back at Jay. "I'm gonna go get some fresh air. Can you tell Kisok that for me? I don't want him to think I ditched him." Dahye said as she pushed away the bubbly golden drink away from her and gathered her purse.
"Sure," Jay nodded. "I'll text you when we're leaving, okay?"
Dahye gave him a thumbs up as she turned away and walked out of the ballroom, the thumping beat of the rap song playing over the speakers accompanying her on the way out. She breathed out in relief when she finally reached the main lobby. Dahye bowed at a few people who acknowledged her and smiled as genuinely as she could at that moment. She hadn't realized how much her feet were hurting in the skyrocketing strappy heels Hoody had given her for the night, and bit her bottom lip when she felt the smooth leather bite into the back of her shins with the movement. Dahye knew it would be a little too weird even for her standards if she took of her shoes in the middle of the lobby, so with wobbling steps she made her way to the hotel bar that lead to the balcony.
The bar wasn't crowded at all. Except for the few people lingering about, the two bartenders, and a young man sitting at the counter, it was mostly empty. Dahye's eyes shifted onto the man, catching the sharp silhouette of his jawline, his broad shoulders hunched over what was probably his phone. Even though it was dimly lit in the bar, she could see that his dark hair fell across his forehead in wisps, and there was something glimmering on his left ear, likely a diamond stud. Shaking her head, Dahye moved around the tables placed around as best as she could without disturbing the guests. Soft, classical music was being played by the pianist at the corner and Dahye was glad to hear something else other than loud rap songs pounding through the wall of the ballroom and her skull. Gathering the ends of her dress, she pushed open the large glass door and felt the night breeze hit her bare arms and collar. It wasn't too warm since they were close to the rooftop, and the cold air was a nice change from the constant smell of perfume, champagne, and cologne she had spent inhaling for the last few hours. It was clean and crisp up here, and Dahye closed her eyes, inhaling as deeply as she could.
But even the cold air couldn't stop the suffering she was going through in her heels. Mumbling under her breath, Dahye carefully knelt down. She folded the end of her dress with both hands until she could work around the thin strap around her ankles, and in a few seconds the shoes were loose. She stood up and stepped out of them, relishing the feeling of the cold ground beneath her aching feet. Screw heels, she thought in her mind once more as she placed the shoes by her side and rummaged through her purse until she found her pack of cigarettes. It was yet another bad habit she had yet to kick; after breaking up with Seyoon, Dahye had found solace in alcohol nicotine. Although she was able to quit drinking, she still hadn't been able to stop smoking. The burning sensation she felt in her throat every time she inhaled the smoke calmed down her spiked nerves and cleared her head. She lifted the tab and plucked one out with her dainty fingers. She put the cigarette between her lips and looked around in her purse for her lighter. Sighing when she realized she had left it at the hotel, she moved to throw away the cigarette when all of a sudden a hand grabbed her wrist in a gentle yet firm hold. Startled, she turned around to see a young man staring at her with the most intense brown eyes she had ever seen. It was the same man sitting at the counter in the bar, and Dahye almost did a double take when she noticed just how attractive he was under the lights strung up around the balcony.
"Need a light?" He asked her. His voice was deep, husky, gravelly like he hadn't spoken in ages. Too stunned to speak, Dahye could only nod her head. He smirked, reaching into the pocket of his pants to take out a lighter. He flicked it open and lit the cigarette as Dahye cupped her hands around the flame. The instant calm she felt was all too familiar; tipping her head back and closing her eyes, she let out the wispy smoke, watching it billow into the night sky and disappear before her eyes.
"Thank you," she told the man. She grabbed an extra cigarette and held it out to the man who graciously took it. He lit with quick, practiced movements, and mimicked her actions. Clearly, she wasn't the only one who found comfort in the deadly object; the man's adam's apple bobbed as she swallowed, eyelashes fluttering down onto his cheekbones when he closed his eyes to relish the feeling.
"No problem," he blew out the smoke. "Although, aren't you a little too far away from the celebration? Kinda lonely up here and pointless without the food and drinks." He asked, not looking at her as he spoke. Dahye stared at him as he looked out at the skyline sparkling in front of them, the cars whizzing past below. The music coming from the ballroom mixed in with the night, and Dahye felt her stomach clench in a strange manner as she stared at his side profile and the cigarette placed delicately between his fingers, veins shifting when he moved his wrist.
"The food I wouldn't exchange for the world, but parties aren't really my scene." She said. "What are you doing here if I may ask? Are you here for the after party as well or just hanging around?"
The man laughed. "You could say that. I'm more on a... business trip. I had been in Toronto for a while, and came back just two days ago for the show." The man laughed, pieces of his hair falling across his eyes. "Actually my boss dragged me out all the way here so he could introduce me to some people."
"Not so much fun, I assume," Dahye chuckled, taking a drag out of her cigarette. The man chuckled at her words, the sound rich and pleasant.
"Nah, it's cool," he shook his head. "He lets us have fun on the condition that we behave, so it's nothing like those boring meeting room discussions and paperwork shit."
"Shouldn't you be with them then?"
"Like you said, parties aren't really my scene either. It gets a bit too much sometimes, you feel?" Dahye could understand this stranger perfectly well and once she realized that they had something in common she let herself relax at the slightest amount.
Dahye nodded even though he couldn't see her. "What's your name?"
"Kwon Minsik," he turned to her finally. His face was illuminated by the glow of the cigarette he was holding between two long fingers. Dahye noticed that he had very sharp features—a cut-edge jawline, high cheekbones, and hooded eyes. "And you are..."
"Kim Sungah,"
Dahye spoke quickly before she could let herself slip, taking in a deep breath of the smoke as she brought it close to her lips. It was a name she commonly used to check in hotels and other places when they were abroad for privacy issues. She had her fair share of unpleasant experiences with ssaesangs, and at that moment she didn't want this man knowing her name either even though he seemed like a decent enough person.
Minsik smiled at her. "Nice to meet you, Sungah,"
Dahye was surprised he didn't know who she was, considering there were billboards of her on almost every road and building back in Seoul. Minsik didn't seem to show any emotions out of place on his face; in fact, he looked very calm and collected. If he did believe her lie he had been detached completely from the music industry here, or he was just going along with it for the hell of it. But he did say that he had been abroad for a while...
"I might be stepping outta line here, but I have to say that you're very beautiful," The boldness of Minsik has thrown her off. She hadn't been approached a man before who had been so open and straightforward with everything they said, especially since she had known him for about two or so minutes. But she also realized it was a nice change; she liked honest men and appreciated it more when they were direct with her. His flattery wasn't false either; he didn't look drunk or high, that much she knew, so she couldn't help but smile at the genuine words.
"Tuh-thank you," Dahye blushed, flicking the end of her cigarette hastily. She wasn't used to compliments from strangers, and attractive ones at that. She had just realized how handsome Minsik was, and felt a bit conscious about herself. She hoped nothing was out of place and her lipstick wasn't too smudged. She had bit on it quite a bit during the award show. She quickly did herself of the thoughts and changed the conversation. "Tell me, Minsik, what do you do? I assume you're an artist since you're here."
"I'm a rapper," The young man said. "But if you want more specific I could also say songwriter and producer."
"Oh, cool," she said. "What label are you signed under?"
"You're really curious, you know that?" Minsik smiled, taking a drag from his cigarette. Dahye found the action strangely tempting. She felt her focus shift on Minsik's lips and wondered how the plush skin would feel against her own.
"I'm just trying to get to know you," she told him. "There's no harm in that, is there?"
Minsik watched her quietly for a minute, absorbing the question, and then stepped closer to her, his arms reaching around her. Before Dahye could realize, he had effectively trapped her between the metal banister and his body, blocking any way to escape. Dahye felt her heart beat thunder in her chest and wondered if he could hear it too beneath the thin fabric of her dress.
"No," he whispered, hooking his index finger beneath her chin and tilting her head up. He memorized the contours and planes of her face; the cat-like slant of her eyes, the taper of her eyebrows, the dip of her Cupid's bow, the elegant slant of her nose. He noticed her lips were trembling and at that moment he wanted nothing more than to kiss those nervous flutters away. Dahye also noticed how close he was and that she could see him better; the unusually long lashed framing his eyes, his hooded eyelids, the flawless sun-kissed skin, the single diamond piercing on his nose, and the small scar on the corner of his mouth. She didn't know if it was the single glass of champagne she had earlier or the intoxicating, heady scent of Minsik's cologne, but her hands were trembling as she held onto the banister behind her, and just as her eyes shut and she lifted up her chin when his hand cupped around the side of her neck her phone went off, ruining the moment. The sound made her gasp and he pulled away as if his touch burned her.
"Sorry," she mumbled, feeling the air return back to her lungs. Minsik dropped his hand but didn't pull away as she fumbled around her purse to reach her phone. Dahye felt flustered as she felt Minsik's eyes on her, watching her movements. The screen was smooth beneath her palm, and she sighed when she saw the message on the screen.
Jaebi [ 02:30 ]: Seonghwa got shitfaced and Hyukwoo can barely stand on his fucking feet, so we need to leave right now.
"I've gotta go," she said. "My friends are leaving and they're my ride back to our hotel."
Minsik nodded but a flash of upset passed across his eyes, although Dahye told herself that she was simply imagining things. "Can I get your phone number at least? I would like to talk to you some time again."
"Sure," Dahye said without letting herself think first, handing him her phone as they swapped. She quickly tapped her number into the Minsik's contacts, feeling strange that she was letting all of this happen with a man she had met for the first time. "I might not always reply back to my messages right away, but I'll return back eventually."
"It's all good, I get that you're busy," Minsik said, handing Dahye's phone back to her. "We could meet when we return back to Seoul maybe—if you want to I mean."
"I'll think about it," Dahye said as her phone went off again. "Well, that's my call to action. I hope to see you soon, Minsik."
"Likewise," he said, pressing a ghost of a kiss on her cheek. He then turned away and walked through the same door Dahye herself had come from, disappearing into the dim lighting of the bar. Dahye realized he never told her which label he worked for.
___________
YEAH, SO, THAT HAPPENED AND I DON'T REGRET A SINGLE THING.