(( Me? Posting on time? this is a first. get ready for a long chapter loves. also I listened to this song the whole time I was writing this chapter. It literally made me cry))
((ALSO A TRIGGER WARNING!!!! SUICIDE AND CUTTING))
LANCE'S POV:
1
"Were going to name him... Lance."
"Lance Armani McClain."
6 pounds, 17.6 inches
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5
I hang high above the ground the top of the monkey bars never seeming so high, until you were on the top. The sky is pretty.
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6
"Bestfriends" Hunk says holding out his hand.
"Bestfriends" I exclaim shaking his hand.
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8
"Will... You be my girlfriend?" I ask scratching the back of my ankle with my foot and staring at the ground.
"Pftt as if"
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9
"He has Cancer"
Tears.
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10
"Cut your stupid Mullet."
Colors. Fucking colors.
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15
"Therapy? For what?"
"You can't like boys mijo"
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16
A blade going across my skin.
The only thing that felt real.
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17
A cabinet full of pills.
An easy way out.
Sirens.
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20
The boy on the bus.
My soulmate.
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21
Marriage.
Keith.
Keith.
Keith.
A fight with death.
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I wake up in a cold sweat. My limbs feel like they are on fire and my mind is going a hundred mies an hour. My breathing feels heavy in my chest and my eyes burn with tears. Theres this odd feeling on my chest. Like someone had put a brick on it.
" Hey hey shhhh it's okay.. I'm here it's okay Lance..." Keith says wrapping his arms more firmly around me and running a hand through my hair. It takes a while for my breathing to become normal again. I feel nauseous and my head hurts like a bitch. But at least he's here.
My night alone wasn't bad but with each passing day of m treatment everything continues to get worse and worse. My headache started yesterday morning, the pain searing into every part of my forehead, and my nausea has only gotten 10 times worse since then. I feel like I'm dying. My breathing is short and quick at all times, and it hurts to move.
But having Keith here was enough for me to think straight.
I didn't have to say anything for him to understand.
One thing I know he can't read.
Is that my body is slowly giving up on me.
And I don't think I'm going to make it through this.
I love you.
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(( Hehe you thought this was going to be a Klance chapter but I can't just leave poor pigeon all alone now can I? IM NOT A MONSTER))
PIDGE'S POV:
My hangover is finally starting to wear off, it's been almost a full day and I can still feel some of the side affects banging at the back of my head. damn. did I really say all of those things last night? My mind continued to spiral as I thought about it. What if he never felt the same. What if he died and I never saw him again? Forget about the colors... I just want Hunk.
I need to talk to Lance.. Especially since theres only 4 days left.
I make my way out to the parking lot taking the first bus the comes. Yes I still don't know how to drive, and even if I did I'm probably too short to reach the pedals anyway. The bus made some of my side effects come back but nothing felt worse right now then the burning sensation at the back of my eyes. Like they were craving to see the vast array of colors before me again.
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"Hey Pidge!" Lance says with very little energy, he's lacking everything he used to have, that noticeable spark that you can feel from a mile away was gone. it was just so... raw. Like I was seeing him in the light for the first time.
"Hey." I say trying to keep my composure. This was going to be hella hard to admit. But I needed some advice.
"Okay so I know it's kind of rude to make this whole thing about me considering your current situation but I really need your help right now before its too late," I pause to pull up a chair next to lances hospital bed, and sit down," So I like Hunk, he's my soulmate, and I yelled at him yesterday because I was drunk and upset. And I made him cry and I don't know what to do because I love him and... I just.. I need help. " I try to force out, some words getting held back in my throat as I confessed to him. He put a hand of my shoulder and gave me a reassuring look.
"You're going to be okay. If he came to find you and talk to you I'm sure he feels the same. So all you need o do is apologize and try to make things work. Shouldn't be too hard, you just have to go before it's too late. Don't take your time for granted.. and I would know because I definitely got way to used to this." He smiles warmly and motions to Keith who was tightly tucked in at his side sleeping. Tears prick the corners of my eyes as I realize how dumb I was being. Of course I was drunk. But It was no excuse none the less...
"Thank you so much Lance.. I love you, I'll come back later okay?" I ask swiftly getting out of my chair and making my way out of the room.
"Go get em tiger!"
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I Pace around the front of the door wondering if I should really be facing him after everything that happened. memories of the first time I was standing in front of this door started flooding back into my mind. What if I'm making a mistake. I reach up my hand to knock on the door but it opens before I can.
"P-pidge?" Hunk shyly asks from behind the door.
"Can I come in?" I ask my voice wavering a bit and I move more into the room. I sit on the bed and he follows sitting next to me.
"Look I'm sorry for all thethings I said before I was just upset-" Is as far as I got before his lips were on mine. And suddenly, like something out of a fairytale, the dimly lit room bursts into colors, blues, oranges, reds, and yellows, it feels like I'm overflowing with them, like my eyes have neve laid an eye upon them. And suddenly I can't get enough of what I was missing. These colors were as intense as my feelings. And I spent so much time ignoring them that I almostt forgot how it felt to actually see things.
He pulls back placing a huge smile on his face.
"I've been wanting to do that forever. sorry for the wait." He says wrapping me in a tight embrace.
and for once in a million years
the stars shined brighter
my feet felt lighter
and my heart felt whole
I love him .
((eeeeeeeeeeeeee, that's all I have to say. EEEEEEEEEEE))