[video for later in chapter]
Author's Note:
You know I couldn't leave it how it was at the previous chapter, I'm too invested in Rose x Jasper to do that and I know you are too! But I just had to tease you, that's all hehe :) Get ready for it, here's the real ending.
End credits.
____~❤~s2~❤~_____
Four years later
I stood anxiously behind the curtains, shadowed from the whispering crowd that drew from anticipation in their seats on through the other side of the thick fabric. From the slight gap I could see many faces I recognised. Amongst them were my parents and brother with his wife and my nephew; one year old Mathew, sitting bubbly on her lap and bundled in the most dearing little coat. Dotted amongst the auditorium, I also spotted a few familiar faces of people who I attended Larrington High School with, each with their partners and family; some of whom already sported their own offspring, including dear Mandy who was heavily pregnant at eight months, Luke sat beside her.
Most astonishing of all, was the appearance of Max and Cassie who came together as a couple. These past years seemed to have treated them really well and made me really happy to see. I made a mental note to make sure that say hi to them later, or at least drop a line to meet up with before I returned back to Sydney because it could be an unforeseeable time before I'm ever back again.
The last time I'd been back in town was about a year and a half ago for Luke and Mandy's engagement party. While I'd seen Max then, I hadn't at all seen his counterpart since high school graduation. Though I now look back at those times fondly, it brought back some bittersweet memories. Regardless, it was a nice surprise to see them together, they were certainly a handsome pair.
I dropped the curtain and smoothed out the nonexistent lines of my velvet dress out of habit and prepared to walk out.
During the small intimate moment before my cue to appear, I reflect back on my time in Sydney. I felt proud of us all and how we've all grown– young lambs thrown out to the slaughter at the end of graduation, most of us not ready to move onto adult hood just yet.
However, not all of us had that dilemma, some already knew what they wanted to do; for instance Jane, who went on to run for her local council at the end of her degree and was successful in gaining her seat to become one of youngest members in our local council; or James Macker, now a news anchor (when he wasn't touring with his bandmates including Lukey). And then there was Annie, who after her recovery and the airing of the documentary, ended up scoring a small role in a soap opera which launched her acting career. Last I heard, she was to break through with a major Hollywood blockbuster which meant a move far away to LA. She really was a force to be reckoned with and my friends and I looked forward to proudly watching her premier on the big screens some time next year.
Others such as myself, had trouble deciding on something at the end of school.
The only thing I knew was that I had to leave town. I had to find whatever it was out in the world I'd kept myself from.
I'd chose a university that would take me out of my comfort, and beelined it there almost without thought. I was too afraid to look back even for a second until it was over.
~❤~
Attending the University of Sydney and boarding alone on campus, I threw myself into everything and anything that life could throw my way whilst simultaneously ignoring the fact that he'd graduated from here too.
But it was the best institution in the country, and be it social clubs, part time work (when my studies allowed it), writing articles for the local press or even partying; every waking second and minute of my life was spent doing some sort of curricular. I couldn't allow myself any down time because that was when limbo occurred, and I risked never wanting to leave the bed again.
I knew how easy it was to fall in that hole; I dwelled there long enough during my formative years, and even for a brief moment there before graduating high school, I felt the same spunky spur of unluckiness plaguing my thoughts, seeping into my life again with a raging force. This time however, I nipped the unmotivated hymns in the buds, just in time for final exams.
To escape that hopeless feeling that often popped up in my head during my uni degree, I knew that if there was something I even so slightly desired, I had to do it fast – without ever thinking. Call it a form of evasion, but I rather think of it as shock therapy; there would barely be enough time for me to think about riding the motions, and then before I knew it, I would have done it. Over come it.
That was how four years was done and dusted.
I applied this method of thinking to every part of my day: from studies, performances, socialising and even my love life. Yes, I decided that I had all but truly conquered my fear of society and men until I was able to get myself my first ever boyfriend.
So, I said 'yes' whenever a male would asked me out– or sometimes I asked them out first. That way I could be the one in charge calling the shots before someone else had the chance to throw me into the deep water.
I was wiser now; I wasn't going to let myself be burned this time. It took too long to recover.
~❤~
I met the first of many at book club. He was a honest guy... Tall and dark haired, nice smile with a dimple– though that wasn't the main reason I dated him, I promise. Initially attracted to his understandings of the world (book smart I believe it's called) there was almost an endearing manner to how he always blushed whenever I called his name.
He was easy to talk to, and we talked just about anything and everything, except my trauma which I still kept guarded. But really, we could spend the whole day chatting together about whatever popped into our minds, or what we saw, heard or read.
However, when it soon became apparent that I couldn't escape the haunting reminiscing thoughts whenever I saw him at a distance (too blurry to make out in proper detail), or whenever I approached him from a certain angle where I couldn't make out his face, but could see his tall, broad statue and my heart would speed up, I broke it off suddenly.
He was the one I most apologetic towards.
The second man I went for was different. He was a slender artsy man, who enjoyed tying his long blonde locks into a pony tail. I didn't mind that.
He was from the design department, helping out with the stage work for a play I was performing the piano for. I thought his his free spirit and open world views was exactly what I needed. He was easy to please, level-headed and up for doing anything I wanted.
Honestly anything I named.
Eventually I started to get suspicious of how far I could push him, and no matter what I suggested, the more absurd the idea, it didn't phase him at all. Even up until the point where we were about to board the small plane to go sky diving. I backed out, he didn't.
As I watched on from below after crying pathetically by the waiting room, I felt as though I was the biggest failure in the world.
"Don't cry, Love. It's okay. We were too scared to jump too." The families of the other brave skydivers sought to console me. "It's not a big deal if you couldn't jump today, there's always next time. Don't hold yourself to that regard, you're strong!"
I thanked them, managing a small smile. But couldn't bear to tell them that I wasn't crying over not jumping.
I was crying because it meant that it was on to another man for me. I couldn't stand to be with someone so passive.
And on I went to the third, the forth, the fifth the sixth guy in the midst of juggling my studies and career. By the eight speed date, I wasn't sure why it was such a big deal to me to have to have someone who I could say was my significant other, because none of them were for sure. It wasn't even like I had anything to prove to anybody.
It's just that no matter what I did, I was determined to librate myself from the very two, most condemning words that cursed my whole existence afterwards.
S******** S*******.
I tried so hard to distance myself from that notion and while I believe I succeeded in most aspect of my life (apart from my love life) it was no use. I was only interested in the men up until the point of the first kiss, and then I'd drop everything. To them, it appeared out of no where.
But it wasn't that there was anything wrong with the guys or the kisses necessarily terrible. I mean, I'd kiss lips that felt like sea slugs regurgitating, and other's parched as the desert sand. There were a whole range of good kisses too; though some too soft, too hard and or even too passionate, none ever came close to measuring up to that gut-wrenching kiss from years ago.
There was always one sensation I was chasing that it seemed no one could supply it.
Burning.
I wanted to feel my soul burning when I kissed. I wanted to feel the pain on my lips.
I couldn't seem to shake this damning desire no matter what I did; and once I realised this, it filled me with so much dread that I gave up dating all together and promised my life to renewed celibacy. Perhaps I was doomed after all, After all it seemed nothing could satisfy me. My solution was to avoid love for now, until later, when future Rose can deal with salvaging whatever scraps of emotions I'd left.
That wasn't to say though, that my Uni years was spent mindlessly pursuing my quest of conquering the opposite sex; that was still the least of my worries. I manage to hunker down and brute my way through my coursework.
Finally after four gruelling years, I graduated on a splendid night which my family flew down to witness, and I was ready to make the next decisions for the next stage of my life. Which was where I was now, back in home in Melbourne for a few celebratory weeks until I settle myself and pick somewhere to set up my new business venture.
I planned on opening up a musical therapy clinic for traumatized children, with the later possibility of branching out into other forms such as art, movement and play therapy in the future. I'd presented my case during the trials of our University's version of the SharkTank, and managed to received a hefty financial backing from some noteworthy backers who saw my vision. I was very fortunate to be in the position of my entrepreneurship where the only thing hindering my process was choosing a location to set up shop. That was on me.
I was incredibly indecisive and torn between my options. They were as follows:
My hometown Melbourne where it was close to family, friends and loved ones; Perth where some of the most important recovery years took place; or Sydney?
Deep down, I couldn't help but think that the earlier two of the options would have been like a step into the past. Honestly, my better logic was leaning towards Sydney; it was where I started my new life, my new beginning. But I was still too afraid to officially put it on paper.
There must have been something seriously wrong with me because no matter how much I tried to fight it, it seemed something was truly holding me back. It took me this long to realise that someone was holding me back. At the risk of sounding selfishly exactly like the two 'S' words he'd label me as, I was tired of running. Tired of trying to tune out these thoughts of him.
Time wasn't healing enough, there was this unfathomable void inside. It was the final chapter of a book that I had to close, or I'd never be able to move on completely. Therefore I returned home so I could finally put to rest, once and for all, these yearnings residing within me– a clean slate before I started my business. Then I can finally be free of the of the resentful years still lingering well into my adult life with just as much presence as in my early teens.
I wasn't sure if that meant finding him and facing him front on, or even asking someone about him and how he was.
I didn't even know if he was still in the correctional facilities, in town, or if he'd moved away. The only current information I knew was the location of one out of five properties he owned. But there was a problem with that. Last time there was a family who moved into that house, were they still there? It'd be weird if I just turn up now. I was shit out of luck.
I mean what was I expecting to happen anyway when I couldn't even get a reunion, let alone expect for a happy one. The fucking bastard didn't even turn up at the booth when I visited the prison after flying home during my first year uni break. Oh how that pushed me over the edge. I never flew back home after that, unless for family events.
Even if I did so much see him now, how could I guarantee that he wouldn't run away the moment he saw me? And to think I'd kept my number the same for years even after moving phone carriers in the hopes of hearing something one day. All until one angry afternoon, I finally bit the bullet and changed my number as a means of never going back. Since then I'd long given that dream of reconciliation. I'd lost my only connection.
It was tiresome to conjure up delusions of 'what ifs' , and even more tiresome when my head kept going back and forth with my heart. How could someone still have that much of an affect on me when they'd been forcibly removed from my life for so long, it wasn't fair.
I mean I already moved myself away, did all that I used to never do, what more was there to do? When could I find peace finally knocking on my doorstep.
I didn't deserve this (to give him a moment out of my day), so why was I so hung up on it?
The answer was somewhere out there and it seemed too lonely to venture out on the path alone to find it... Maybe that's why I felt I was missing someone to walk with me. Perhaps my body clock was telling me it was time to start dating again. Yes, let's put this down as a quarter life crisis that somehow started a decade ago. Doesn't quite make sense but hey, since when has anything in my life ever made any sense.
~❤~
An applause rippled through the building and the curtain opens slightly in front of me, a teenaged boy walks through into the shade along side me after having just completed his performance on stage.
"Great work, you played well!" I whispered to him as he walked by. He lit up and thanked me before wishing me luck for my turn.
"Wasn't the energy of that piece just stunning?" Mr. Yan addressed the crowd through the microphones once the claps subsided. "Now onto our next guest performance for the night before we pause for an intermission. She is one of my most successful students who went on to graduated with top Honours at the esteemed University of Sydney.
"Our next performer has even performed at the Sydney Opera House on tour and has plans to open a musical therapy studio in the near future. We are so lucky to have her tonight at this recital, everybody I am very proud and pleased to introduce you all to... Miss Rose Harper!"
I walked out confidently onto the brightly lit stage and took a bow with a big smile, greeting the audience and then turned a respectable bow towards my old teacher, who departed the stage. I took a seat shortly after on the stool and counted to myself, the pitch of the first note humming in my head.
Then, I begin to play; a soft jazzy tune that settles the soul.
*You can play the youtube video above now if you wish. It's the song Rose is going to play.*
A magnitude of applause later and I was ready to begin my second piece. While I waited for the crowd to settle down, the doors at the top of the auditorium suddenly creaks opens. Momentarily a small gust of winter's chill from the world outside blows through the warm amphitheater as the late-comer finds a spot in the audience to sit.
I allow time for the distraction to pass, but all of a sudden, nerves hit me and my palms began to go sweaty. I felt a warm shiver go down my exposed back.
It baffled. I was completely fine for the first song, how come I feeling so nervous now? This was only a recital hosted at the local amphitheater when I've played in front of thousands before, on stages far more prestigious, and with a lot more risks like my degree on the line. Yet I had no idea why I was so uneasy.
And then it hits me... a small faint familiar fragrance in the air, and it makes me freeze with absolute fear.
Lavender.
I stare out into the audience beyond the stage and scan the sea of grey faces.
I scan and scan but it was useless; it was too dark from the stage to see.
My heart started beating faster and my head felt faint.
After some agonising seconds frozen in my place, I forced a deep breath and recollected myself, reminding me that there were a great deal of eyes on me, anticipating my next song.
I put my hands to the piano and miraculously I get through the second piece... Just barely.
-
Mr. and Mrs. Yan came and congratulated me at the back of the stage once I got off. I thanked them and gave them a warm hug.
"Make sure you grab some refreshments outside. We ordered from a great Chinese restaurant down the road, it's very tasty. And I know everybody would love to meet you again. It's been a while since you were last here so I'm sure they're very excited!"
"Will do, thank you Mrs. Yan. Okay bye bye, I'll see you late. I'll make sure to drop by before I fly back." I gave her once last hug before grabbing my coat and bag, making way through the side doors towards where everyone was in the room that was now lit, chatting busily and enjoying the light refreshments during the small break.
I keep getting approached; everyone had something wonderful to say about my playing. They also inquired about my time in Sydney and the news of my new venture. Some were old classmates, some people I vaguely recognise, some strangers– Max and Cassie even.
Meanwhile in the midst of socialising, I kept my eyes out. Looking in and between the faces in crowd, trying to find the one I wanted but I never did. My nerves never really did calm down since that moment on stage. There was something unsettling about the atmosphere. It seemed only to be me who felt this way.
Finally as the lights started to dim down once more, as we all took our seats, in the background I hear the auditorium door creaked again.
I turn to the back got a glimpse of a tall and dark figure dressed in a long coat by the exit. I barely notice it in time before he slipped quietly through the doors and disappeared into the night.
My heart jump to my throat.
Hesitatingly a little at first, I debated on whether or not I should follow the stranger.
Eventually, I decided to go. I had to investigate. It had to be him.
Nobody else could ever made me feel this way, and this was my only chance before I lost him forever.
I slipped out of my seat in the dark and make my way up the stair case towards the door as fast as I could, each step closer erasing all the doubt in my mind as I feel my heart started to beat loudly.
Once I am through exit, the man was no where to be found. Nothing but the sounds of cars passing through the streets greeted me.
"DOWN WITH ANDREWS!" "PROTECT OUR COMMUNITIES!"
I notice the gathering of a group of people on the opposite side of the street, protesting outside the town Church. But as more cars flashed past blaring their horns, I forget about it and it is out of my mind. I couldn't seem to focus on anything else but finding him.
I look left and right to no avail.
Which way, which way?
I thought frantically, feeling my heart sinking as the opportunity was slipping away before me. I bite my lip hard as my hands shook.
My eyes wasn't deceiving me right? He was here... He couldn't have disappeared into thin air!
I made a final decision to turn the corner on the right, it was the only section of road I had no visibility on.
Miraculously it payed off because as I rounded the corner, I noticed up ahead on the road the same lonely figure was walking away into the distance.
I ran forth, my heels clicking against the pavement as the wind pelted through my dress, and I called his name for the first time in years.
"JASPER!"
When I caught up to him in a pant, condensation rose in mist around us from our warm breath against the cool air, briefly concealing his identity. I grew worried... Was it him after all?
The man turns around before the haze dissipated.
The moment I heard my name escape from his lips, I lost all my resolve.
"Rose?"
My lips quivered.
That voice, it absolutely made me forget everything I wanted to say. I'd been waiting for this moment for years and yet here it is now, and I didn't know how to follow on.
Oh no, I hadn't thought this through!
"Um, h-hi," I began anxiously, my cheeks quickly turning red.
"Hi," said he, before we lapsed into silence. It appeared the both of us were unsure of how to continue. It'd been so long, did we already become strangers?
I took interest in the street lamps shrouded by the leaves of the trees above, while he studied the architecture of the buildings beside us. About some time later we finally spoke up.
"I wanted to catch you before you left – "
"I wanted to congratulate you earlier –"
The both of us stumbled over our words as we started to talk at the same time. We looked away and a small smile spread across our faces.
"You go first," I insisted looking up into his face as I rocked back and forth on my heels slightly. I noticed that while his face had a few faint lines, his jaw seemed sharper and a small scar had appeared along his cheekbones.
He was definitely older, but he was still the same as I remembered; as handsome as in my dreams. His blue eyes, as they rested warmly on mine, still bore the same intensity that made my knees tremble and took my breath away. I could never forget them if I wanted to, and believe me, I tried so desperately.
"Are you well?"
"Yes, yes I am," I answered immediately.
We turn away and I fumble with my coat in my hands, I had yet to put it on. I hardly noticed the chill with the amount of blood rushing through my head and the amount of butterflies in my stomach. It'd been some time since I last felt this uncomfortable.
"A-are you well yourself, Jasper?"
He turned back to me straight away, "Yes, I am..."
I bite my lip as we fall in another awkward pause, staring at each other. This wasn't going as planned at all.
"You played exceptionally well tonight," Jasper says after a bit. "Moon River has always been a favourite of mine especially."
"Yes, and mine too, thank you." I smiled politely while he continued to hold my gaze.
Jasper runs a hand through his hair and scratched the side of his neck in an apprehensive manner "I wanted to uh, congratulate you; on your graduation and everything you'd achieve and plan for in the future. I... I would've said it earlier in the concert but I... didn't know how to approach you so I apologies that I didn't."
"No, don't worry, it's okay! You've said it now at least," I shake my head blushed heavily. "So, um... What have you been up to – how long have you – ah..." I hesitated, realising it would be too intrusive to ask out right. He'd obviously kept his distance for a reason.
Sensing my dilemma, he answered for me. "It's been about a a year and a half since I've been back."
I felt relief immediately. He grinned slightly at my reaction and the tiniest glimpse of his small dimple appeared on the right of his cheek, and I felt the warmest flutter of desire glowing within.
I knew this was dangerous; I had every intentions of leaving Melbourne with everything put to rest. I didn't want old attractions resurfacing again but I'd dreamt of this moment for too long.
"And yourself, how long do you plan to stay before you're back in Sydney?"
"I'm heading back next week. Um, I've booked some appointments with a real estate agent to view a couple of potential listings for my new business. I'm not sure if you heard, but I've decided to open a musical therapy clinic for children." I flustered out unsure if I'd said too much. What if he wasn't interested?
Jasper nods. "Ah I see. Yes, I'd seen the article on the news paper. Congratulations."
I blushed again.
We smile at each other with civility from where we each stood, a healthy portion of space between us as some more time passes by.
Eventually Jasper takes a breath in. "Well, I wish you best of luck on your endeavours. I know you will succeed in whatever you do. I look forward to hearing more about it once it's established," he started to reach his hand out but quickly redacts it, almost as if he thought it'd be weird if we shook hands now. We were too familiar for that, but not familiar enough for anything else at this stage.
I quickly tuck my hair behind my ears nervously and hid my disappointment that the conversation was already ending. "Oh, um yes thank you. And you too, best of luck with what ever you're up to!"
"Well, it's been nice to see you... Mary." Jasper says, giving the a small nod.
"And you too." I straddled the strap of the bag on my shoulder tightly between my curled fingers, before we both parted ways.
I shake my head.
My heart somehow felt even more heavier the more steps we took further from each other. After reconciling with him, I thought I'd feel as though I could float away in the clouds, like a songbird flying in the sun.
But it was anything apart from that.
_____~❤~❤~❤~____
Tell me why– someone tell me I was crazy, but why was I now turning back towards the carpark so soon after reaching the doors of the auditorium. The second half of concert was still going on inside, this time a violin and piano duet was playing. And what of my family and friends? They'd be wondering where I'd gone.
As my quickened footsteps sounded against the pavement once more, I go over the last sentence he'd said. My middle name. He'd called me Mary, like he used to.
Nobody calls me that anymore.
I think back to the waiting days of my sponsorship, when I first proposed my business idea to the jury on my Uni's Shark-tank. It had been silent for literally three days. It seemed nobody thought it was a good idea.
But then after one anonymous backer who went by the initials R.M.H. pledge their support, I saw suddenly saw an increase in the offers for sponsoring the project. I soon received so many propositions that it that it gave me the green light within a month.
It was now that I realised the significance of R.M.H... those were my initials.
It had been Jasper all along.
That had been his way of reaching out to me, over a year ago instead of total silence like I'd thought, I could cry tears of happiness right now. It sparked a small flame, a slither, the tiniest amount of hope.
That was how I found myself speeding towards the only residence address of his that I knew in my car. I had to know... had he been thinking of me all along?
Was I not alone in my restlessness?
~❤~
Standing under the tall, dark oak door once more, I contemplated with myself whether or not I was sound. I wasn't even sure if he still lived here anymore. What about the little family that had moved in years prior? The garage had been closed so I couldn't get a peak into what cars resided inside. I had no clue who of who currently lived here.
The windows were dim but not totally dark. A faint familiar warm light glowed from a distant lamp somewhere within, indicating that there was someone home.
I paced a few steps along the porch, shaking my head again at the absurdity of my situation. Would I end up regretting this more than anything? I could have left it how it was at the concert: it had been a mutual and agreeable parting.
If I turn up now and change things, what would I do if it only ends up in disappointment?
Taking a breath in and beholding the door knob in my attention, I made one final decision. I was going to stick by it. With a shaky hand, I reach out to grab the door knob...
and Twist.
...It opens, and my hearted to swell.
I stare at the open doorway in front of me in a state of shock and confusion. Does that mean he'd forgotten to lock it, or he'd intentionally left it unlocked awaiting my arrival? I never really did get to figure it out back then. Nonetheless, I take a step into the house daringly.
It was dim but I manage to weave my way through the furnishings. A considerable amount of time had gone since I passed these door frames but I still remembered the layout somehow. Like muscle memory, my legs take me towards back end of the house, to the only room I knew he'd be in if he was here.
When I reach the piano study, I see that the door had been left ajar. Inside was equally as dim. It was quiet, oh so quiet. I could hear my own uneven breaths and heartbeat pounding loudly, echoing in my ears.
I considered calling out for him, I wanted to... but there was one thing holding me back; that lasting doubt of whether or not he really was here. Did I really meet him moments before on the street?
Or did I dream it up and trespassed into a strangers house?
All of a sudden, I feel the warmth of a big hand slide behind my waist. The person pulls me forth towards them, another hand around the back of my head, and crashes their lips onto mine.
The kiss was brutal and soul crushing. Everything about it was merciless, and I reveled in it; in the burning sensation. I dropped my bags to the floor and threw my hands over his neck, drawing him closer, wanting to taste more of him.
Burning burning, burning...
Everything was scorching like flames.
His lips, forcing mine apart. My teeth cutting his flesh, and I tasted a drop of blood, I lick it clean. I wanted more.
"I... I should've done this a long time ago," Jasper whispers hoarsely, drawing in sharp intakes of breaths. "I'm tired of running away, from you, from my past. I can't hold on any longer."
I felt some tears prick the corners of my eyes. "Me too," I reply softly.
He lifts me up into his strong arms and pushes me up back against the piano until I was seated against the ledge between his legs. I cried out in shock as he traced his lips down the contours my nape and downwards.
His kisses were like hot molten lava, leaving a trail of moonlit flames everywhere our skin made contact. I trembled delicately from his touch. There we continued our escapade as our hands explored each others bodies, and moans escaping and rising until we finally broke apart, both of us gasping out loud for air.
I look up into his eyes, surprised to see that they were damp. I caress his rugged face with my fingers as he drew me forward for an embrace. We found each others lips again, this time, caressing softly and tenderly in the most joyful, teasing and incredible kiss I could ever imagine possible.
This was it, the missing piece, after years of struggling. And the result was staggering; two hearts mending together from pieces that could only be taken from each other's.
That night was the last ever night that Jasper Green slept in his library study again. Somehow, we made it back upstairs to the master room where a couple hours after dawn arrived, we were awoken to the most brilliant natural light streaming through the blinds of the windows, filtering through the entire house.
As I laid my head softly against his warm chest within his arms... I felt that I could finally expire and move on.
--
Five months later, Location: Sydney
The door opens and I hear the soft jangle of the little chimes. Someone was stopping by.
The chime was a gift for me, and it never failed to makes my heart sing for back home; the warmth of my old room, the comfort of the people who I left behind. It's been tough to be alone again, however hearing the clink of the metals, like an ode of song birds, also reminds me of the love that is created here in my own space; the importance of it and the abundance that it brought to the little lives that come in through here daily.
Every time I hear it I become grounded, bestowed with gratitude for my work here. It sets my tone and mood for the next session and clears my frame of mind, flushing out all that is currently unimportant. Then I'd zone in all of my positive energy in order to focus on the next little being that is coming my way.
It was time for my next appointment, and I know she will be needing all of my attention. I was more than willing to give it to her.
Instinctively I look up from tidying up the bookshelves, and turn expectingly towards the entrance with a warm expression on my face, breaking out into a smile. I see the brown ringlets of six year old Preya, coming in shyly with her adopted mother pushing her along. Her cheeks flushed in an endearing pink. Though her heels still dug along the ground, almost as if she is hesitant to enter in, it is the sight of the next thing that makes my heart skip the most.
Preya's eyes darted fast, alert. Her chest rose and fell in rapid successions. But her lips tugged up into the smallest of curve, just the tiniest hint of a smile– almost as small as she was.
The smile, it was half hidden, half tucked away behind her lovely hair that she uses to shield her face a lot. But it was there and it's all that matters.
I've been waiting months to see it.