I slowly opened the door to the apartment, my head still spinning from father's punch. Harry wanted to take me to the hospital, but I insisted. I stepped in, almost falling on the floor. Catherine appeared in front of me after hearing the crash.
❞You scared me.❞ She sighed, putting her hand on her chest.
She turned away, facing to the direction of the bedroom to go back to packing. She stopped when she gave me another look, noticing what my face looked like. Her eyes widened in surprise.
She came closer as I started going towards the living room, ❞What happened to you?❞ She asked in a worried voice.
❞I'm okay.❞ I said, throwing myself on thr couch.
Catherine disagreed, ❞No, you're not. You have to get that cleaned up.❞ She pointed at my face, the cut on the side of my head.
She rushed quickly to the bedroom, coming back in a minute with a first aid kit in her hands. She opened it and took out the liquid to clran my wound.
❞What happened, James?❞ She asked concerned.
❞I told my parents about it.❞ She immediately knew what I was talking about. ❞Father wasn't really happy.❞
Her look turned a little sad, but she didn't say anything. It was almost like she wasn't surprised, or she didn't want to show any emotions. I felt the burn while she cleaned my wound, causing me to slightly jump.
❞I know, hold on.❞ Catherine whispered in the softest voice.
I looked into her blue-greenish eyes, admiring them completely. The blue was so light, almost like ice. The light green swirl around her pupil was like a snake swirled around a dark branch. Her curly, blonde lashes opened her eyes that were already big enough, hypnotizing even. She has just gotten more and more beautiful.
❞That's it.❞ Catherine said, finishing her work in just some minutes.
I looked at her, ❞Thank you.❞
She weakly smiled in return, putting the things she used back in the first aid kit. When she turned around, she accidently spilled the cleaning liquid all over her hands and gasped in surprise.
❞Oh no.❞ She sighed annoyingly.
I stood up, walking to the kitchen to grab a cloth. ❞I'll fix it.❞
❞I need to wash my hands.❞ She said to herself, walking to the bathroom.
The bell rang and I went to open the door. It was the mailman.
❞Good day, sir. I have something for...❞ He looked at the envelope. ❞Catherine Richmond.❞
I looked to see after Catherine, but she was still in the bathroom.
❞That's my wife,❞ I said, ❞I can give it to her.❞
He gave me the envelope, ❞Have a good day, sir.❞
❞You too.❞ I replied.
I automatically looked at the envelope and saw the name that appeared very familiar to me. Avery Edwards. It was like a nightmare awakening, the one thing I wanted to forget completely. I was ashamed of what I did.
Curiosity took over me and I ripped open the envelope and took out the letter quickly.
Thank you.
- Was the only thing she wrote. I turned the paper to see if there was something written on the back, but there wasn't anything. I really wanted to know what she was thanking Catherine for. I heard her come out of the bathroom, when I quickly placed the letter under a pillow on the couch.
❞Who was it?❞ She asked casually as she walked out of the bathroom.
I thought of an idea quickly, ❞Some man came to the wrong apartment.❞
She nodded in response, not really caring about it.
There were only two hours left till signing the papers.
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Catherine
I walked out of the big room that just changed my life, satisfied and happy. I was free. Finally. I could finally get my things and just leave. I wasn't stuck in this life anymore. I could start a new one. My fingers were supposed to be shaking, my mind was supposed to get filled with thoughts about my choices, my heart was supposed to be racing faster than a cheetah. But they didn't. My mind was blank when I took the pen and signed under, the ink easily gliding onto the paper. My heart was calm. And I found it good, because I was sure of my decision. I was sure that I wanted to finally escape.
Coming here alone, without Tasha and anyone else than myself and Nathaniel was the right thing to do. I wanted to feel my escape, the freedom I got after signing a simple paper, full of words and sentences, alone. I wanted me, myself to feel it alone. It was amazing. I felt like a bird, trapped in a cage for years, even forgetting how to fly. But now, I've worked my way to the success of opening the cage, rising my wings up and escaping through the little hole that gave me opportunities I haven't had till now.
The cage was now a part of the past, it was supposed to rot and rust, but it would always be there. A part of me. Something I would never forget, that reminded me of how strong I was, never giving up on my goal.
I didn't face James, Harry nor Nathaniel. I went directly to the apartment and got my things ready to get thrown into the borrowed car of my mother that was waiting outside. James walked in, our paths crossing in the middle, right between the kitchen and the living room.
❞I guess this is it.❞ James remarked, looking into my eyes. ❞You're free.❞
My look fell on the floor, before looking back into James's eyes. ❞I am.❞ I assured.
❞Four years,❞ He spoke, ❞And this is the end.❞ He raised his eyebrows.
I smiled calmly, ❞It is.❞ I said, ❞It's been a ride.❞
There was this silence again. James looked deep into my eyes like never before. His eyes spoke feelings, showing everything he felt and I saw it. It felt like our souls took goodbye, and were assured that they weren't to meet again.
❞I love you.❞ He said suddenly, ❞I always have and I always will.❞ He spoke truthfully, ❞You were a blessing, the biggest one I ever got. But I found a way of ruining it.❞ He regretted what he did. ❞It's sad. It's sad how we can't see the worth in things and appreciate them until we lose them.❞
❞It's our past now.❞ I spoke, ❞It's never too late to become a better human and get a clearer mind.❞
He nodded, smiling. ❞And sometimes, we need to change the environment or our company, to help ourselves become better.❞ He spoke, looking at me and making me feel exposed.
James turned to the side, grabbing the old music player from under the table and putting it on it. He put his fingers on the buttons, making a click sound, before playing my favorite song, ❜Black bird on fire❜. He came closer.
❞Please, give me the pleasure of dancing with you one last time, Catherine.❞ He put his hands on my waist gently, making me flinch the slightest bit.
He placed his hand on my upper arm, slowly sliding it upwards and lifting my hand. He held it tightly, yet gently, letting me feel his warmth. Pressing our bodies together, my face was inches away from his.
❞We danced to this on our wedding.❞ He reminded me of something I already reminded myself of, ❞You stepped on my shoe, but none of us noticed it until we danced to the end of the song.❞
❞I remember,❞ I affirmed, ❞I felt so embarassed.❞
James chuckled, ❞I thought it was the sweetest thing.❞
The only sound was the music that was playing, not too loud nor too quiet. James kept holding me gently, swinging me from side to side, lightly and carefully.
❞I hope you'll be happy.❞ He acknowledged truthfully, ❞I hope you find someone who knows your worth, travel to all the places you always wanted to but never had time to, bless the world with your beautiful smile,❞ He went on, ❞And I truly hope you get the possibility to have a family of your own, blessed with the smartest and most beautiful children.❞
I felt tears fill my eyes because of James's precious wishes, but not turning my look away from his. It warmed my heart a bit, seeing he truly meant what he said. Our moment was ruined by several loud knocks on the door.
❞Police!❞ We reacted in surprise. ❞Open the door!❞
James was surprisingly calm, it looked like he awaited this. I was surprised for a second, when I finally understood that Avery followed my advice.
❞I'll pay for my mistakes.❞ He spoke calmly, ❞I give you the promise that I'll become a better person. I promise.❞ He took my hand in his as he promised.
❞I didn't tell you,❞ I rushed my words, ❞But the apartment is yours. Don't speak against me, I don't need it anymore. It reminds me of all the things that went wrong, I can't see it as anything but a trap I was held in for several years.❞ I confessed. ❞It's yours.❞
James was surprised, but he didn't say anything. The knocks went on, when suddenly the police crashed open the door.
❞James Richmond, you have the right to remain silent.❞ One of the men spoke as he took James by his upper arm and dragged him backwards. ❞Anything you say can be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult with a lawyer and have that lawyer present during the interrogation. I you can not afford a lawyer, one will be appointed to represent you.❞ He went on, putting handcuffs around James's wrists.
James didn't protest. ❞Be happy.❞ Were the last words he said to me, before he got dragged away by the policemen.
I stood there for a while, realizing what happened.
❞I will.❞ I whispered to myself. ❞I promise.❞ I gave myself a promise, just as James did.
My suitcases and bags were ready. I went to the apartment for one last time, taking a last look in every room. I turned of the light in the bathroom, closing the door after looking around for the last time. The bathroom I used to cover myself in lotion, spray perfume on my body, and get ready to make James want me. The bedroom, where I spent most of my time waiting for James to come home in worry and sadness, thinking of how many women that he found better than me. The kitchen, where he always teased me while cooking or cleaning. The living room, where we shared our last dance together and saw each other for the last time.
I noticed a paper under the pillow and went to look at it, when I noticed the envelope was already ripped. The weird thing was that i was adressed to my name, but I haven't read it. I opened it,
Thank you.
It was from Avery and I immediately knew what happend. And what James meant with his words.
I turned off the lights in every room, closed the doors and stepped out. I took a deep breath, before turning around and taking my time going down the stairs. I stood outside the apartment for a minute, all the memories going through my head in the speed of light. I was ready to leave.
I stepped into the car, driving straight to my mother with no regrets, guilt and disbelief.
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2 weeks later
I put the box of chocolate-dipped strawberries in the passenger seat beside me. I walked to my seat and drove to his apartment. I was feeling good. Driving the car without anyone needing to know where I was going, when I was coming back or why I went there. Driving it alone, instead of somebody doing it for me.
It was a longer drive, but I didn't mind. I finally enjoyed spending time with myself, instead of hating it and thinking about the same things over and over again. I had this pure feeling inside of me, like a stone had fallen off my chest. I wasn't worried, I wasn't sad, and I wasn't bored.
I knocked on his door, hoping he would be home.
❞Catherine,❞ Nathaniel said in surprise as he opened the door. ❞Come in.❞
I smiled in return, passing by him and placing the box on the drawers nearby. He placed his hands on the edge of my coat, taking it off me and hanging it up on the wall. He gestured me to sit down on the couch in the livingroom.
❞What brings you here, Catherine?❞ He spoke in his husky, sexy voice.
I inhaled, ❞I wanted to thank you.❞ I acknowledged. ❞For everything you've done. You've helped me escape something I was trying to escape from for years. You were the one who actually understood my situation and didn't judge me.❞ I went on, ❞Most importantly, you gave me hope. Just when I was about to give up, you, a complete stranger walked up to me and said the exact words I needed to hear.❞ He smiled. ❞Thank you.❞
❞That night,❞ He spoke, ❞When I saw you and your ex-husband fight, I was just surprised that he could scream at a woman, especially one as yourself. Your wise words touched me, and I didn't understand how he was so stubborn.❞ He admitted, ❞It wasn't my business, but my head wasn't fully clear either, I didn't mean to hear everything.❞ He explained.
❞It's fine.❞ I interjected.
He smiled before he continued, ❞When I saw you standing behind the railing, I looked into your eyes. They were so hopeless, full of sadness, but they still managed to twinkle in the moonlight and make the prettiest stars ever.❞ His words made me blush. ❞I know it was hard being frustrated. Feeling stuck in the same place, not knowing how to get out.❞ He said. ❞Something about you made it irresistible not to come closer and share a word with you, or two.❞ There was silence, before he spoke again, ❞You're more than welcome.❞
I smiled shyly for a second, before walking to the drawers and taking the box of strawberries.
❞I brought a little gift.❞ I said, showing him what I held. ❞It isn't anything special, just a little thank's for what you did.❞ I placed it on the table in front of him. ❞But these are the best in New York though.❞ I chuckled, getting out a sweet chuckle from Nathaniel too.
Before I could sit down again, he stood up and stood in front of me. I froze in confusion and a little bit of excitement, as he took slow steps towards me. He was just inches away, looking into my eyes with his beautiful brown ones, circling an eclipse. His delicious cologne filled my nostrils once again, making me addicted to it instantly.
His hand made it's way up to the side of my face, slowly sliding up my cheek. He brushed it with his fingertips gently, waiting for my reaction even if he already knew it. His eyes never leaving mine, as his other hand suddenly made it's way to my waist, pushing it towards his own boudy roughly, in a quick second. I gasped as the space between us closed. He took the opporunity to kiss me hardly yet gently, both of his hands pushing me even closer towards his body.
Hunger took over me. I suddenly felt warmth in my core that increased in just some seconds. In realization of how hungry my lips were for his, I kissed him back just as rough as he did, our lips smashing against each other and dancing in hunger. Our tongues explored each other's mouths, and soon our exploring moved on to our bodies.
My fingertips worked quickly with unbuttoning his black shirt that fitted him so well, making me curious about the strong muscles it hid under itself. Button after button, and his shirt was finally opened, just in the moment of it, he quickly removed it from his body and threw it on one of the couches. He took shorter time than me, when he pulled my blouse up over my head, throwing it at the side hungrily. I felt my hair fall down in it's place again, strands of my hair making it look messy.
Nathaniel seemed to like what he saw, as the sexiest smirk appeared on his luscious lips. We smiled against each other for a second, excited to explore each other, like there was no tomorrow. He kissed me behind my ear in hunger, placing kisses along my neck, keeping kissing and sucking on my sensitive spot for a longer time. I leaned my head back in enjoyment, feeling something I haven't felt in a long time. Desire, lust.
He trailed kisses down to my chest, the sound of a click as his hands unbuttoned my white bra. I pulled down the straps, letting it slide freely down, until it fell on the floor. Nathaniel's eyes darkened in desire, as he continued kissing my body down to my white, lacy panties. His grip was tight on my hips, not letting me move an inch.
He slided down my underwear with his teeth, only for it to fall down on the floor near my bra. I felt exposed, but I didn't mind the feeling. I enjoyed it. I couldn't control the intensive feelings that flooded through me, and for the first time I didn't want to control them.
He teased me with his tongue, licking right above my sensitive spot, making me ache for him to lower his mouth. His hot breath against my exposed skin made me ache in even bigger desire, wanting more for every second. I leaned my head back again, my legs beginning to shake as he explored the sensitive parts of me. He knew what he was doing, and what I felt, so he pushed me towards the wall quickly, but carefully, giving me the support that I needed.
I felt my core heaten up more, like it was about to explore. But suddenly, he stopped, looking up into my eyes. He stood up from his knees, his hands still tightly on my hips, as he looked at me showing the desire we both felt. I unbuttoned his pants and he kicked them off in seconds, whereafter I slid down his underwear which made the sexy smirk appear on his face again.
He started exploring my mouth again, his hands slowly moving to the back of my thighs, making me impatient. In seconds, my legs were wrapped around his trained waist, and I couldn't wait to feel myself let go as he hardly entered me. My jaw dropped at the feeling of a man filling me. He pushed into me again, harder. Our breath was uncontrollable, the heavy breathing being the only sound to be heard except the wet noises going on down there. He thrusted into me, every thurst of his being different, knowing how to satisfy a woman.
From hard strokes, to deep and slow ones, making me moan out in satisfaction. My moans got louder as I felt the releasing feeling approaching, his last strokes being to pleasureable, deep and slow. I moaned out as the dirtiest, yet most pleasurable feeling went through my body in vibrations. He groaned loudly as we both reached our climaxes, breathing into each other heavily. I felt the warm liquid drip down the inside of my thigh, making me shiver in pleasure.
I didn't want to think if it was a regret. I didn't want to think about my actions anymore, at all. I was a free woman, able to do whatever I wanted to.
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One month later
I realized I've focusing on myself a lot, spending the time doing what I like. I've been reading books, jogging every morning, cooking and taking care of myself. Sometimes, I also thought about my life, I couldn't stop doing it completely. A vacation in Mauritius was booked, and I couldn't wait to leave and enjoy myself, doing whatever I please.
Although I did focus on myself a lot, I kept in contact with Tasha, supported her and went with her to the audition, which was more than great. I was pleased to see my best friend happy, chasing her dreams while I chased mine.
The only thing that made my heart itch was Lorenzo. I have been ignoring his messages, which I couldn't help but feel a little guilty not answering, even though he told me that I didn't need to answer. He reminded me that he was thinking of me. That man was so precious and kind-hearted, it was unfair what I was doing to him.
I took the flight to Philadelphia. Lorenzo had always messaged me where he was, if he was in his apartment in New York or home in Philadelphia. He's been here and there because of Marco's sessions. I knocked on his door, not knowing what kind of a reaction I awaited.
❞Catherine.❞ He wa caught in surprise.
❞Hi.❞ I said calmly, embracing him into a long hug. ❞I've missed you.❞
He hugged me tighter, ❞I missed you too.❞
I stepped in as he invited me, looking around his beautiful home in Philadelphia. It was even bigger than his cozy apartment in New York. He made tea and we sat us at the kitchen table.
❞It's been a while.❞ I tried to smile, only to realize how much I've missed him by looking at him. ❞How are you?❞
❞I'm... Fine. There has been a few up- and downs since Donna came back, but I guess I'm good.❞ He said, looking like he was holding something back. ❞I saw the news.❞ He changed the subject. ❞You made it.❞
❞We made it.❞ I corrected. ❞I wouldn't have been able to do it without you. You were a huge support.❞ I added, holding his hand.
He didn't look so pleased, and it didn't take long time until he removed his hand.
❞Me and Donna kissed.❞ He said. ❞I want you to know because I... I didn't know if I should tell you. I know we aren't together or anything, but as soon as I saw you and you hugged me, I felt the need to tell you.❞ He admitted, looking away in regret.
I inhaled deeply, ❞It's okay.❞ I said. ❞I know you've been having a rough time and I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I truly am.❞ I looked him into his eyes that softened up. ❞And I know how the past can mess with our heads.❞
Lorenzo seemed relieved, ❞Like you said, we aren't together, you aren't limited to do things because of me.❞ I comforted him, ❞We can't deny that we had- or have something. Don't worry about it, it's okay, Lorenzo.❞
❞Thank you for your understanding.❞ He expressed, putting my hand between his.
I caressed the top of his hand, ❞Now tell me, how are you really feeling?❞
He thought he would get away, I could see he wasn't fine. He was crushed and sad, but tried to hide it.
❞Donna left again.❞ He confessed, ❞We had a fight. I found...❞ He shut his eyes close, before continuing, ❞Drugs in her pocket. I confronted her, I was angry that it was in my house, where me and Marco live. She admitted something as I pushed her to the limits.❞ He stopped for a second. ❞She didn't care about Marco. She only wanted me.❞ His voice turned sad.
❞Lorenzo...❞ I expressed quietly. ❞I'm so sorry. I know Marco was excited to be with his mother.❞
❞He was.❞ Lorenzo confirmed. ❞One day, he told me that his mother was weird. That she was different around him alone, than she was when we were all together. But I didn't listen. I just told him that he needed time to get to know her, even though I knew there was something wrong deep down.❞ He explained, looking up at me. ❞I ignored the signs that reminded me of the past, I wanted him to finally be happy with both of his parents, even if we weren't together. After all, he has been asking after her since he started talking.❞
❞I'm sorry.❞ I repeated. ❞You deserve better, Lorenzo. She's his mother, but what matters is how she treats him. Maybe she'll change someday.❞ I assumed. ❞I hope for the best, for both of you.❞
He finally managed to smile. ❞Thank you, Catherine. You deserve the world.❞
We were lost in each other's eyes, focusing on each other and each other only. I felt like I sunk into his ocean eyes, enchanted by the twinkle in them. My feelings were slowly coming back, and that seemed dangerous. I was feeling a butterly here and there, admiring the beautiful, strong man in front of me.
❞What are we doing, Catherine?❞ He asked the question.
❞I don't know.❞ I admitted, shrugging my shoulders. ❞All I know that I need time for myself.❞ I began to explain. ❞I'm sick of my life here. Now that I'm finally free, I want to do everything that I felt like I couldn't do. I want to find the pieces of myself that went missing in the last four years, I want to focus on something else than working, for once I want to focus on myself.❞ I shared my deepest thoughts.
❞That sounds good.❞ Was all he said, noticing my surprised look. ❞You're right. For the time I have known you, you've been only helping people, worrying, working, you never do something for yourself. I understand.❞ He smiled, the pure smile of his calming me down.
❞I don't want to be worried and stressed, I want excitement, adventure and fun. I plan on traveling.❞ I said. ❞I'm going to be gone for a longer time, I'm afraid. Even if it hurts to leave you, and Marco, I need this.❞
Lorenzo nodded in understanding. ❞As much as I'm going to miss you, our deep conversations and our cooking that went great,❞ He said with a smile, causing me to chuckle. ❞I support you. You deserve it. Everything.❞
Before I started rethinking my decisions, I stood up, Lorenzo grabbing my coat and holding it for me. I stepped outside, turning to face him and looking into his mesmerizing eyes.
❞I'm going to miss you.❞ I said truthfully.
Lorenzo looked down, smiling. ❞I'm going to miss you.❞
❞Tell Marco I said hi, if I hugged him goodbye, I don't think I would be able to let that kid go.❞ I smiled brightly, making Lorenzo chuckle.
❞I will.❞
I smiled at him one last time, before turning away to walk to my car, when he spoke,
❞Hey,❞ He quipped, I turned around. ❞I'll wait for you.❞