September 22nd 1995
"Julia Matinbury!" Isa shouted at me from her wheelchair. I jumped to attention from my digging spot in the sandy bank. Typically, people of her age and status would shout this in a condescending way but Isa was not that kind of grandma. She shouted my name with a kind levity that made me jump up from my digging spot but didn't make me feel ashamed.
"Sorry, Isa!" I responded. I would call her by her first name and she was fine with that. I was simply digging for shells in the warm sand but I realised that wasn't why I was here today. I brushed the sand that had stuck to my fingers on to my jeans and rushed over to where she sat. I sat on a large boulder next to where she would sit her wheelchair to look at the ocean.
"Stop digging and come and talk with your grandma for a time," Isa said. "I feel like I don't get to talk with you as much as I used to."
"I'm sorry, Isa," I said. "I can't help myself sometimes. I like the sand in my fingers. And it feels good to find those swirly shells. You know the ones you can hear the ocean in?"
"I can understand that," Isa said. She closed her eyes and breathed in the salty ocean air. This was the family estate on the coast of the Pacific Ocean. The Matinbury family had lived here for over forty years. Which isn't long, but isn't short. Isa is a vaccine scientist and she was given money to work here on anti-viruses for world diseases. Even after her car accident, many years ago, she has remained strongly dedicated to her research and overall, a nice person. "When I was your age, I used to play in some woods behind my home back in Colorado."
"Do you miss those woods?"
"In a way," Isa said. "But as life moves on, we discover new things to find beauty in. Like the ocean, here in front of us. There is nothing like it." Isa lifted her hand and pointed off in the distance. "That horizon is endless, little Julia. As we get closer to it, it will just move farther away until it hits Japan, Polynesia, and other islands that some may never have even discovered yet."
"I like the ocean," I said after a long silence. There was something profound about what Isa had said that I couldn't understand at the time. A horizon that runs from us as we chase it is an interesting idea. I couldn't understand it, just like I couldn't understand the sadness that suddenly appeared in Isa's voice.
We sat there for a long time. We had done this together for many years. Ever since my Mother and Father died when I was young and I moved into the Matinbury Estate with Grandma Isa. I suppose that profoundness was something attractive to both of us. The ocean was almost symbolic of the lives we have lead. Deep with meaning but most of it hidden beneath the surface.
"Julia, I have something to tell you." I turned and looked into Isa's eyes. They were shining with tears and I understood that what she was about to say would be more profound than the ocean. "Sometimes... People... Even the people you trust the most make terrible mistakes, Julia. I have made mistakes in my time Julia. Mistakes that I... refuse to fix. I wanted to tell you that-- "
"Tea anyone?"
Grandma Isa went silent and I turned to see Aunt Kassidy. Kassidy lived on the estate with us. She was kind enough but I always felt that she didn't like me much. I could hear a strange sternness in her voice today that I had never heard before. I accepted the tea and sipped it uncomfortably. I looked back towards the hole in the sand I had made. I found myself wanting to go back and hide in it. Isa also accepted the tea and Kassidy smiled. Perhaps things were alright after all.
"Thank you, Kassidy," Isa said.
"Are you ready to head back up to the house, mother?" Kassidy said this sweetly but I could sense that something was very wrong.
"I am fine where I am, thank you."
"You look a little red," Kassidy said with concern. "I'm going to take you inside. We can't have you getting heat stroke, mother. Julia, come inside too. It's too hot today for such casual talk. We can go inside and watch television with father."
Isa said nothing. The sadness in her face vanished and a new expression of stone washed over her. I followed Kassidy and Isa inside. Maybe what Grandma was about to say could wait. I had some questions for her as well. Who was the other little girl who was staying on the property?
September 12th 2006
Grandma Isa died last week. Grandpa Herman died on the same day. I couldn't believe it. A cold wash flooded over me as I read those words on the paper sent to me in the mail. I went inside and sat in my bedroom for a long time. I cried and found myself unable to write. I am a journalist for the San Francisco Bay Guardian. I quickly called in to tell them I couldn't write for them right now. I sat and remembered all day.
I looked back at those times I had spent with them. Talking to Isa on the ocean shore. Trying to whistle like Grandpa Herman could. Even with all of the work they did in their offices downstairs they still made time for me. The raised me just like they raised my mother.
I couldn't eat all day today. I hadn't spoken to them since the day I left. Something about the estate didn't sit well with me and I found myself making excuses of why I couldn't visit. I regretted that now. Now that they had died. I wondered how they died. The memo I received in the mail didn't give a cause of death or a date for a funeral. All it mentioned was that I was meant to come to the estate again to claim my part of the will.
My husband, Howard, got home at five. I embraced him and felt a little better. I told him what had happened. The day seemed very foggy. Almost like those early spring mornings on the ocean side where the fog drifted its way into the Matinbury flower garden. Thick, suffocating, and blinding. That is what this felt like. I didn't sleep that night. Poor Isa and Herman. I wished I had the opportunity to say goodbye.
September 13th 2006 9:45 am
"Do you need anything?" Howard asked.
"I'll be fine." I kissed him before I climbed into the taxi.
"Bye, Julie."
"See you tonight." I closed the door and the taxi began to head down the street. I leaned back, shut my eyes and sighed. I looked and my hands were shaking. Something about returning to the Matinbury Estate churned my stomach. A pain in my head reopened my eyes. This was the feeling I would always get. The best way I could describe it was haunted. I felt haunted. I tried to sleep. Last night was long and I wished that I could be relieved on the long drive out of town.
"There you are, ma'am."
I opened my eyes realizing that I had gotten my wish. I paid the driver and stepped out of the taxi. I stepped into the grass and found it dead. It had gone yellow, scorched by the sun. I turned and looked to the house. The mansion seemed dilapidated now. It had no human life inside it and now it was dead on the outside. The shingles of the roof itself looked to be rotting. Things had certainly changed since I had last been here. I sighed again.
I stepped through the doorway and found a chill roll down my spine. I was meant to look around for things to take home with me but found myself feeling empty. I didn't want anything from this place. I walked through the doorway feeling like the house was swallowing me. I don't know why I had this negative reaction to my old home. I had so many happy memories here.
I walked down the front hall. I ran my hand on a table with a porcelain vase. The hardwood floor creaked and cracked as I walked on it. The air of the place smelled moldy and stagnant. As I approached the front of the staircase I saw a strange stain in the hardwood floor. I bent over and looked closer at it. I couldn't tell. Maybe it was some old unattended spill.
I began to walk up the stairs feeling the peeling white banister in my cold hand. The stairs creaked even more as I walked up them. Even after the week absence of the family a layer of dust had settled. As I climbed the stairs more and more the feeling of dread grew in the pit of my stomach. The whole body felt cold. The stairs stopped and I could see the hallways on the third floor that lead to my bedroom and also the guest bedroom.
I had always wanted to have a friend come over and use the guest bedroom but Grandma Isa rarely allowed that because of the vaccine research. It was such a secret work that she would do. She never would tell me about it. Grandpa Herman worked in the same field and he was very secretive as well. When I was little, I always thought that they were spies for the government and they would make medicine for the president. I see now that they just worked with the FDA and was required by contract to keep their disease control work confidential.
I had written many articles about vaccine technology in the past hoping that it would clear up some childhood mysteries. It never did. Here I was now. The estate would probably go to Kassidy who was their oldest daughter. I wondered if Uncle Herman would be at the funeral. He lived here when I was a kid but suddenly left. He rarely would come out of his room and refused to let anyone but Kassidy see him.
I walked towards my bedroom. That sense of dread and haunting emotion was much stronger here but I needed to see my room. My migraine suddenly hurt a great deal and my hands shook more. I didn't understand. Maybe I was sick today. I stepped into the bedroom and took a look around. I had a canopy bed that was like a castle. I had a large map of the world painted onto the wall. I was always interested in exploring the world and the way the world worked. All of my books were still here. The only difference was the layer of dust that had settled here much heavier than anywhere else. I didn't think that anyone touched this room since I had left.
I heard creaking behind me. I turned to look, thinking that someone else had made it. Maybe Kassidy. Nobody was there. I dismissed the sound after hesitating as chills ran down my spine. I hated being here. Without Isa and Grandpa Herman here to give this place life, this place was just just a desolate and dilapidated pile of aging wood.
I walked closer to my bed and sat down on it for the first time in years. As I sat down, I noticed a small wooden box was sitting on my bed. It was a dark finished wood with a refined latch holding it shut. A silver envelope rested on top of it, wrapped in green ribbon. Green ribbon was what Isa liked to use. I slowly reached out and gripped the envelope and then ripped it open.
I pulled out and unfolded a piece of paper and then read Isa's handwriting.
Dearest Julia,
You are leaving for college today. I am so proud of you. I have seen how you write and I know that you will change the world with your stories. As you were growing up, the both of us worked through a lot of problems. But you remained our sweet Julia through all of it. I wonder if you even remember some of those problems sometimes or is just pretending not to remember. Anyway, I wanted to say that Herman and me love you with all of our hearts and will miss you dearly.
I had something that I wanted you to know, first. Perhaps it was fear that kept me from sharing this truth with you. Ears listen in but only eyes will be able to receive this message. I was going to tell you a long time ago that people, even the people you trust the most, will do terrible things. I want you to open this box and finally hear the truth. You deserve it. Forgive me.
Isa
Something moved in the corner of my eye. Perhaps it was my mind tricking me but I looked up towards the hallway I had come from. My migraine flared as I looked into the doorway that had gone surprisingly dark. I stood up from the bed and walked to the door side. "Hello?" I called out.
There was no response. I thought that I saw someone walk in the hallway towards the guest bedroom. I walked out into the dark hallway. The blinds on some of the windows had been shut. It was very dark on the stairway. I walked out and felt for the banister until I found it. "Hello?" I called out again.
There was no voice that responded. But I heard someone running downstairs. The creaking floorboards gave away that the person was headed through the front hallway to the kitchen. I ran after the footsteps that refused to respond. It was so dark. All of the blinds had been closed. The few rays of the afternoon sun revealed the dust that was sitting in the air. There was so much of it. The air itself tasted of dirt when I breathed it in. "Who's there!" I shouted. My lungs seemed to burn and I felt out of breath. I hated this place. Was it Kassidy, perhaps? Why wouldn't she want to see me?
I stopped on the opposite end of the kitchen, unsure of where the steps had gone. Suddenly, something ran into the opposite side of a door nearby. I jumped and looked to the door. It had gone still. I recognized it as the door to the basement, where Isa and Herman's offices were. I was rarely allowed to go down there as a little girl. Isa said that my curiosity could be bad for me. Kassidy was always interested in the vaccine research facility. She worked down there, sometimes. It must be Kassidy, I told myself. I turned the handle of the door and opened it outwards. I flipped the lightswitch and began walking down more creaking stairs. The air down here was even dustier. I coughed and called out again. "Is someone there!"
Silence. I walked down the stairs and stepped into the basement. I remembered this place well, despite how little I had been down here. Grandma and Grandpa had their desks facing each other. Pieces of paper covered the entire desk and they each had a silver lamp pointing down at their research. The lab was on the other side of the basement. I could see the door to the quarantine room that always scared me as a little girl. The counter tops and cupboards were empty. Kassidy had already been here to claim all of Isa's research. If she had then who was I following? The idea that some stranger was hiding in the basement filled me with pure terror.
I was distracted from the idea when I looked forward. In the lab, one of the cupboards had been removed along with part of the counter. I could see a doorway. A secret door? Maybe whoever was in the house had gone there. I walked over to the lab and peeked through the doorway. I saw nothing but darkness. My headache spiked when I looked. I could have sworn I smelled the slight smell of putrid blood. I choked on the combination of the smell and the dusty air.
Something about this doorway into the dark hallway seemed hellish or at least nightmarish. I didn't want to go in there. I felt eyes watching me from the black mouth. What could this secret door be other than an apparition created by my grief and feverish mind? I stumbled slowly into the doorway. The floor was made of lighter colored wooden planks. They were covered with more dust than the basement. I saw a trail of footsteps in the dust. The footsteps were small. Almost childlike.
That was when I saw her. Off in the distance was a dim orange light. It reminded me of a spotlight in a way. In the light stood a girl. A young girl who was maybe ten years old. I couldn't see any features of her face but I could see her hair and stature. She felt familiar. I felt a mix of eerie terror and nostalgia as I looked at her. I hated this place. The sight of her chilled me to my core. I wanted to run away but found my feet were frozen in place. Suddenly the spotlight went out. My headache burned more ferociously.
Suddenly she was in my face. Only two inches away. I smelled the putrid blood on her lips and shrank back. I tripped and fell backwards in the basement. I crawled as fast as I could. I could sense her behind me. I expected her hand to grab my heel. This ghostly apparition couldn't be real. What was I seeing? Was I this sick? I stood and turned around to see that the girl was gone.
I stood there breathing heavily for a really long time. This house was haunted.
"Hello, Julia."
I screamed and turned to see Kassidy standing by Isa's desk.