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That's what we need, I whispered to her,
We need our peace.
"ANALA!" The Alpha roared breaking our concentration. Ulrica gave a horrific growl before taking a step towards the Alpha.
ULRICA, STOP! I commanded, and she froze in her advances towards the Alpha who looked ready to bolt out of the room. Like father like son I guess, both cowards.
I don't want to hurt anyone anymore! If we kill them their blood will be on my hands! I begged her. And I felt our whole body freeze. Rica could feel the stabbing pain in my heart at the thought of pointless death.
Sometimes being too kind is what gets us hurt. Ulrica retorted, and I shook my head
This is not kindness...If we do this...we are no better than they are. The strong preying on the weak.
Fine. Ulrica hissed before pushing me in control of our body. I felt the world shift around me when I felt my body again. The excruciating pain made me take another step back. I could feel everyone in the room hold their breath when I began to growl in pain.
"Anala...you need to get a hold of yourself." The Alpha commanded, which made my growls grow louder. His Alpha voice was taking a toll on me, and if I didn't fight it, my wolf would surely lose control this time. There would be no time to calm her down.
"FOOD" I demanded through the mind link. He nodded quickly before he contacted someone. It only took a few minutes before my father came in holding what looked like two dead squirrels. They looked like they have been dead for some time now and were skinned from all fur. He threw the dead carcasses towards me, and they landed with a loud wet slap. The stench of rotten meat filled my nose making me cringe. I shouldn't be surprised; this isn't the first time they have given me rotten meat. I'm just glad they gave me two this time.
I got this Ana. Ulrica whispered
Are you sure you're in control? I asked suspiciously; she rolled her eyes. I let her take over, in one big snap of our large jaw she swallows the two animals. From out of nowhere my father takes out a large bowl and pours water into it. He kicks the bowl over towards us and Rica laps it up. When she is done she pushes me back in control, and I flatten us towards the floor, ready to pounce in a moment's notice.
"Shift" The Alpha commanded. I shake my head; they cannot chain me up if they are scared even to come close to me. Sure, chain up the girl who is practically skin and bones without a second thought. But fear for your life if you try that shit with the wolf. Rica chuckled at that thought. The Alpha took a threatening step towards us, and I felt my fur stand up on my back. I gave a warning growl, and my father stepped in front of his Alpha. I growled again when he came closer and snapped my jaw at them. Just because I have control over my body doesn't mean I am going to get pushed around now. They both took a step back and looked at each other.
"You cannot go in front of the pack in your wolf form. Change back." Alpha Valverde explained. He went towards the door.
"Everyone out." He ordered and all the warriors scrambled out of the room fighting with each other in an attempt to flee. I gave a wolfy chuckle and received a hard glare from my father. Alpha Valverde grabbed a bundle of clothes from someone outside the door. He caught my father and began going out the door before he threw the clothes at me.
"Get dressed and come out quickly." He called out before closing the door. I closed my eyes and checked if see if there were any souls in the other room. It was dark and cold, no sign of life in that room but there were two waiting just outside the door. I took in a deep breath and began to shift back. It hurt....but not as much as the first time. My skin felt like spiders were crawling on burnt skin. I laid on the cold hard ground for a couple of minutes before I had the strength to get changed. I dragged the clothes towards me and saw they gave me a long sleeve black shirt and army green pants.
I move towards the shreds of cloth and began searching for the note. Quickly I find the note and send a quiet thanks to the Moon Goddess. The note was not harmed.
Why am I holding onto this note though? Why should I ask for these people to be taken care of? They never once treated me like their own. I get up clutching the note in my hand, carefully I placed the fragile piece of paper into my pocket
I stared at the pitiful creature in the mirror. She smiled weakly at herself. This small girl who wears clothes that are two sizes too big. Even the clothes couldn't hid the fact that she was starving. That I am starving. Her eyes, my eyes... I used to love my eyes, the color was always beautiful but now they were a pair of dark gloomy storm clouds sunken into my face. What little light that these eyes once held was beaten out of me long ago. But if I leave...just maybe I can get that back. Maybe I can reclaim something that was stolen from me. I used to have long fiery red hair, but it lay a little above my chin, jagged from the knife that cut it.
The skin was a sick color of bone white, as if one small movement would break the thin translucent skin and blood would come spilling out. I sighed and lifted my shirt to see how bony my figure was. I could count each of my ribs and see my hip bone protruding out ready to break the skin if I moved too quickly. I tucked in the shirt and began rolling up my pants to keep them from falling off. I bend down and start rolling up the bottom as well. When I finished the last leg pants the door burst open. I look up to see my father.
"Get up." He said while jutting his chin to the side, " It's time to go." he made a grab for my arm and I jumped out of his reach crouching down. He froze seeing my eyes had turned red.
"Try that again; I dare you." I taunted. He stared back at me fury taking over. Crouching low he began to stalk towards me, drawing out his long claws. I hold my stare.
Kill him Rica urges excitedly. I feel my fangs spring out of my mouth and my claws break skin. I crouch lower preparing to launch myself at my father when we interrupted by the damn Alpha.
"That's enough you two. Keone has everyone gathered at the stage in five minutes." Alpha Valverde ordered. My father reluctantly lifted his massive body and gave me a hard glare before storming out of the room. I feel my teeth and claws shrink back and give Alpha a hard stare. Without a word, he turns around, and I follow him out of the room. We walk up the stairs and go through the main door. For a second I am blinded by the bright light. I could feel people stare at me when we walk towards the platform. The Alpha likes holding initiates to the pack to show that we are growing and make him feel important a worshiped when he was on that stage.
"Stay by the stage." Alpha mind links me, and I move to stand by the stairs to the stage.
This is it....it's happening I think sadly to Rica. She doesn't answer; she didn't need to. I felt her sorrow, and it made me want to break down and cry. I take a deep breath and make my face go still, void of all emotions. If I survive this day...I will cry...I will find a safe place and cry. It took a couple of minutes before the whole pack was gathered in front of the platform, curious and impatient of what the news was. The Alpha walked up the stage with a massive smile on his face.
"My pack," he addresses them, "One of our very own has been selected to join the Alpha's Army this, as you all know, is quite the honor for any wolf."
Honor my fucking ass! Everyone who goes there never comes back alive and if they do they are never the same. Rica yelled. I held my composure.
"Unfortunately this wolf received her mate, my son, today. But for the good of the pack and to honor our king she has agreed to accept his rejection so that she may join our King." He lied so smoothly that even I wanted to believe him.
We never agreed to a FUCKING REJECTION SO THAT WE COULD FUCKING DIE YOU FUCKTARD! Rica roared in my head. She was fighting for control, and it took all my concentration to hold her back. I heard someone clear their throat. I looked up to see everyone watching me. I look towards the Alpha and saw he was waiting for me to approach the stage. My whole body protested going up those steps, each one more disturbing than the next. I moved to stand next to Alpha who wore his fake smile. He moved to the side, and Xander stood up from his chair and walked to stand next to me. I took a shaky breath and faced him.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked Xander, my voice void of any emotions. I was in my warrior stance in front of the whole pack. Back straight, hands folded in front of me and feet shoulder-width apart. I know I looked composed because that's my training. Be composed; don't lose control. Don't lose the battle. But all I wanted to do was run into his arms. Beg him to reconsider. Promise him that I would be the best for him.
Is our mate really going to reject us? My wolf asked in my head, just like me she couldn't believe this.
Yes. I replied showing her how much this truly hurt me. I feel her shake in anger. She was the one I relied on, my strength. And I couldn't help but feel comforted by her rage. Rage for me not against me. Our mate was already hurting us, and Ulrica wanted to rip him apart. I held her back.
Please...I am already struggling enough...please we can't lose control. Let me borrow your strength. Help me get through this. I plead to Ulrica. I feel her recoil inside me further, and then all her courage rushed into me. Everything that makes her strong was in me. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a second. If I opened them now, they would show my wolf's green eyes. It only took a second before I had control again. This was what power felt like this is my wolf's strength. I open my dark blue eyes and look at Xander again. He was staring at his shoes. Coward doesn't even have the decency to look me in the eyes while he tears us apart. He knew what he was doing was wrong. It was rare for a wolf to reject their mate, but it was unheard of to have a future Alpha refuse their next Luna. Just my luck I guess.
"I, Xander Valverde, Future Alpha of The Nightfall Pack reject you Anala Rozinov as my mate." With those words, I felt our bond begin to break. It was agonizing like being whipped and have those wounds have acid poured on them. That burning sensation started in my heart, and I felt it spread throughout my body. I took a shaky breath but remained cold and emotionless. I needed to leave quickly; I need to find somewhere safe.
"I, Anala Rozinov, Daughter of Beta Keone Rozinov accept your rejection as your mate," I replied my voice, surprisingly even and cold. This time it was Xander's turn to face the pain. He clutched his chest and took a step back a little blood coming out of his nose. Weak. I quickly turn to the Alpha. He held my gaze. He knew what I wanted.
"You are now free to join the Alpha King's Army. Please pack your things and report to my office. The King will be sending someone to collect you." He said, his voice rough with emotions. He was pretending to hate this decision, but he was the one who suggested this damn rejection. The Alpha didn't want his son with a Blood Wolf. But he had to pretend for the pack.
"Sorry Alpha. But I have decided I will go rogue." There were gasps among the crowd. The Alpha looked appalled this wasn't a part of the plan. No one refused the King. But I refuse to be another playing card for another pack. No more. I want my freedom. If my mate isn't it, I will find my way. Before Alpha could say anything, I spoke loud and clear.
"I, Anala Rozinov, reject The Nightfall Pack." Another pain exploded in my head as I felt every link to the pack break. The last one to break was the Alpha who was trying to hold on. Inside my mind, I pushed hard on the weakened link until it broke. The Alpha stumbled step back before crouching down ready to attack. I hold my stance and keep my eyes down prepared to fight. After a minute his growls stopped, I turn around and walk off the stage. The pack members make way when I walk to my family. If looks could kill my father would have me tortured and buried alive. I avoid his eyes. Finally, I would be leaving his grasp. I will be free. I stop in front of my brothers. And just for a moment, I felt like I was going to cry and show them that the daughter of Keone has emotions. But a part of me still wants my father's love... always tries to please him. I look at my oldest brother; we both know I cannot make the first move, so he grabs me and pulls me into a tight hug. I keep my arms to my side. I want to hug him back. To show him I love him.
Why shouldn't you? We are free now. My wolf says softly.
Hug Brother goodbye. She commands, and tentatively I raise my arms and hug him back. It felt so warm and pleasant. I didn't deserve this, but I thank the moon goddess for allowing this moment with him.
"Take care of yourself." Antoni whispers, he said it so quietly it was barely a breath. Because of our damn good hearing, it was always hard to have private conversations. But this time it was meant only for me. I give him a small smile and step back. But not before discretely placing my note in his pocket. He will find it eventually and hopefully; he will honor my request. I look at my middle brother, Milo and he grabs me for a hug as well, we are there for a couple of seconds before I feel Antoni join in the embrace. For a moment, everything is fine, for a moment I feel no pain, and it is bliss. So this is family love. But like everything else in my life it was torn away by my father. I felt him grab my arm and pull me away from my brothers.
"Stop being a fucking bitch." He snarled in my face. "You are a disappointment to me just like your whore of a mother." I look at him for the first time. He had sharp features, but old age was starting to wear them down. His hazel eyes were hard, but if I looked into them for long enough, I saw he was still hurting for the loss of his mate. He doesn't mean it. Before I could stop myself, I place my hand on his chest. It was a wolf's gesture to someone they hugely respected. I step in closer and whisper in his ear.
"You loved my mother, so I will let that comment go. But if you ever disrespect her like that to my face...I will kill you." I warned my voice harsh. I move to the side and begin walking towards the forest. For years he has been my torturer and prison guard. But I allowed that treatment. I could have easily left, but I had hope that my mate was going to be in this pack. I thought that the price of staying would be worth having my mate, someone to love me. I look back at my ex-mate, and we make eye contact his eyes full of pain and even though he rejected me all I wanted to do was go over to him and hold him. Instead, I turn around and continue walking to the edge of the forest. I go to a tree and pick up the bookbag with my three pairs of shirts and pants. I always had one foot out of this pack, of this hell. But my fantasy was too strong to let go of, an illusion that maybe one day I could be happy. All these years and it was just a dream. I just wanted a mate...I tried to find love. If that wasn't in the cards for me then so be it. I hold back the tears as I walked out of my old packs territory and became a rogue.
"Happy Birthday Anala," I mutter to myself
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