Thirty-Nine: Vanessa Gerleen
Panay ang tingin ko sa cellphone ko. It's been almost four hours ago since I texted Tyler. At mula kanina ay wala pa rin akong natanggap na reply mula sa kanya.
Ano kayang ginagawa niya? Patay na ba ang cellphone niya? He's not so like this. Mabilis naman kasi nagrereply 'yun si Tyler. Baka busy pa rin siyang magbabysit.
Napahinga na lang ako nang malalim saka nagpatuloy sa pagkain.
Nagpahinga lang ako nang sandal pagkatapos ng dinner saka naglinis na ng katawan at naghanda para matulog. I checked on my phone once more but there was no still message from Tyler.
At dahil hindi rin pa ako inaantok dahil pasado alas otso pa lang, kinuha ko na lang iyong script sa bag at naghanap ng pwedeng kabisaduhin.
Napabuntong hininga na naman ako. But this time out of annoyance. Hindi ko kasi alam kung bakit kailangan pang mag-audition para dito sa play. Ang alam ko pupunta ka ng audition dahil gusto mong gawin iyon. In other word, freewill.
But apparently, iba ang kahulugan ng audition sa dictionary ng professor namin. At kung hindi sa medyo malaking percentage ng grade namin sa subject niya ang nakataya dito, talagang hindi ako magpaparticipate dito.
But now, I was left with no choice at all.
Wala pa ako sa kalagitnaan ng pag-iscan sa script na hawak nang marinig kong tumunog ang doorbell.
I was alert all of a sudden as my gaze turned towards the door. Half of me was expectant of who could it be on the other side of the door. Pero yung kalahati ay iniisip na baka staff lang yan dito sa condo.
Tumayo na rin ako mula sa kama at saka ipinatong muna doon yung hawak kong papel at naglakad na papuntang pintuan.
I unlocked the door and opened it, readying myself to greet whoever would appear in my line of vision.
Then he was there, the one whom I've been missing the whole day, flashing his bright smile. "Hi."
I smiled back. "Hey there."
Binuksan ko pa iyong pinto. Then I saw Tyler's eyes moved down on me. He looked somehow taken aback, that made me look at myself too. At doon ko pa lang naalala na nakapantulog na nga pala aka my favorite pair of pink cami pajama set.
I looked up at Tyler to see he's already looking away.
But it didn't took long before he move his eyes back at me, meeting mine. "I'm sorry if I disturbed you. Gusto ko lang sanang mag good night." He let out a shy smile. "I know I can do that on phone but I just want to see you at least. Like we were not able to hang out today at all and—"
"Hindi mo naman ako naistorbo," putol ko na sa kanya. He thought I was already sleeping with these clothes on. "I'm actually still reading something. And you can come in if you want. Maaga pa naman, we can still hang out.
Umangat ang parehong kilay ni Tyler at nakita kong napalunok siya. But that look easily went away and he replaced it with a smile. "It's okay. Ayoko ring makaistorbo sa pag-aaral mo."
I frowned then. What's with him? Ayaw niya bang makipagbonding?
"But I'm not really studying. Just reading a script," sagot ko, seryoso na ang boses. "And I can still read it on other days. But if you really don't want to, you can just say so."
He laughed a bit, biting his bottom lip in the process. I glared at that gesture. If he's trying to look sexy or cute to redeem himself, I don't care. At hindi talaga yan uubra sa akin ngayon.
When I still gave him my serious face, he already sighed.
"Okay," simula ni Tyler. "I'm sorry if I sounded like I didn't want to spend some time with you. But you should know that an hour without seeing you is driving me nuts already. Paano na lang kung isang buong araw?" Huminga siya nang malalim. "It's just that..." Tinitigan niya ako, parang sinusubukang iparating sa mga mata ang nais sabihin.
I just raised both of my brows at him.
Huminga siya nang malalim saka nagpatuloy. "It's just that I don't think I can survive a minute with you wearing that."
Pahina na nang pahina iyong boses niya pero nadinig ko iyon nang malinaw. I don't know but what he just said brought me to that one time he saw me in the same state like this. How he was mad as he questioned what I'm wearing to sleep.
I dropped the serious face and gave him a little smile. "Pwede naman akong magpalit...into something you can survive me wearing."
Natawa si Tyler. Like an already habit of his, kinagat na naman iyong pang-ibabang labi. And this time, undoubtedly, that worked.
"Meron ng sched yung audition niyo? Why I didn't know about this?" nagtatakang tanong ni Tyler.
Nandoon siya sa paanan ng kama, kaharap iyong laptop ko doing God knows what, habang ako ay naroon sa opposite side, naka-Indian seat in my oversized t-shirt and leggings.
"It's because there's no official announcement yet," sagot ko kay Tyler at inalis muna ang tingin sa hawak na script. "Someone from our class got a copy of the sched from our Music Department tapos shinare sa group."
Tyler nodded at my answer. "At kailan kayo naka-schedule?"
Hindi ako agad sumagot, ngumiti ako sa kanya saka umiling. "Not gonna tell you."
Napakunot ang noo niya. "And why not? Ayaw mo bang ipanood sa akin yung audition mo?"
Napabuntong hininga ako. "It's not like that," tanggi ko. "I just know that I'll mess up. I don't want you to see that."
Napatuwid ng upo si Tyler. Ibinaba niya ang laptop na hawak at ipinokus ang atensyon sa akin. "And why would you mess up?" balik niyang tanong. "C'mon, Vanessa, don't think that way. I remember how Nali keep on talking about your recitals when you're in high school. She's so proud of her mentor and her skills."
That made me smile. Hindi ko alam na pati 'yung mga napanood ko sa mga estudyante kong video ng recitals ko ay nakwento ni Nali sa tito niya. Seryoso talaga 'yung bata sa pagpapareha sa aming dalawa.
"But that's different," kontra ko kay Tyler. "Piano, it's like my sister already, been with me since I was young. My comfort zone. But this time, I'm not even gonna play the keys. I have to sing and act in front of many people. Something na never ko pang nagagawa."
"The more I have to be there," sagot niya. "You'll be doing something unfamiliar to you, you have to see someone familiar and can give you comfort."
Napangiti ako. "And how sure are you that you can give me comfort and not the opposite?"
Tyler smirked back. "Bakit hindi ba?"
At wala na akong naisagot pa. This guy knew what he's talking about.
We talked more. Kinumusta ko siya sa buong maghapon niya sa bahay ng Dad niya. And I was all smile especially everytime he mentioned his dad. Sobra akong natutuwa sa nagiging progress nila. I also shared what I did today which was basically nothing.
At nang wala na kaming mapag-usapan, yung binabasa ko ang pinagdiskitahan ni Tyler.
Akala ko doon sa laptop siya muling naging abala pagkatapos naming mag-usap kaya nagulat na lang ako nang may bultong tumabi sa akin at sumilip sa binabasa ko. I didn't even notice him moving beside me.
"Romeo and Juliet?" he asked amusedly. Nakatingin pa rin siya doon sa script nang bigyan ko siya ng tingin.
"Yeah," sagot ko. "Ito yung play na gagawin so basically what they will require is for us to act a scene from here."
"Kayo ang pipili ng scene?"
Nagkibit-balikat ako. "I still don't know actually. Sabi nung classmate ko, last year that was the process. Pero pwede rin daw ngayon na yung panel yung pipili para sa amin."
Tumango-tango lang si Tyler. Pagkatapos ay nilahad 'yung kamay na parang may hinihingi. Nang magkunot ako ng noo ay itinuro niya iyong script. Nagdadawalang-isip ko namang ibinigay iyon sa kanya. Hindi ko lang alam kung anong gagawin niya doon.
Ibinalik niya sa unang pahina iyong script saka sinimulang tingnan-tingnan, pagkatapos ay nilipat din sa sunod na pahina.
"What are you doing?" hindi ko na napigilan pang itanong matapos niyang mailipat na naman sa ibang page yung hawak.
Tiningnan ako ni Tyler at saka ngumiti. "Want me to help you?"
"Huh?" taka kong tanong pabalik.
"Lets practice a scene. I'll read it with you."
Natawa ako sa suhestyon niyang iyon. I just didn't expect he would offer that. Pero sumang-ayon na rin ako. I could use some help.
Tyler smiled, this time a hint of something crossed his eyes. Nanliit lang ang mata ko roon at hindi na masyadong napagtuunan pa ng pansin dahil nagsalita na rin si Tyler. "Let's try this scene."
Bumalik ang tingin ko sa script at napanganga sa napili niya. Of course, he would choose that.
Inilingan ko si Tyler na siyang tinawanan niya.
At nang hindi umaalis ang tingin so kanya'y muli siyang natawa. "What?"
"Wala," sarkastiko kong sagot at inabot na iyong script. "Let's start."
Ngumiti pa nang huling beses si Tyler bago huminga nang malalim pagkatapos naramdaman ko ang kamay niya sa akin, marahan iyong hinawakan.
"What are you doing?" taka at medyo gulat kong tanong.
Saglit siyang natawa at nginuso iyong papel na hawak ko. "It's on the script. It said there Romeo should take Juliet's hand. So, I'm doing it. Unless, gusto mo ikaw mag act as Romeo, pwede rin."
I glared at him. "Just say your lines already."
And he did as he held my hand. And I must say may potential siya sa acting ha. Kung paanong yung playful na Tyler ay biglang naka in character.
Napressure tuloy akong sabihin iyong lines ko nung turn ko na. But I tried to act natural still. And to be honest, it became easy as we went on our dialogues. Somehow, nakakarelate ako sa situation nina Romeo at Juliet dito.
"O then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do. They pray; grant thou, lest faith turn to despair," bigkas ni Tyler sa linya niya.
Nang tumingin ako sa script para sa susunod na lines ay hindi ko alam kung bakit ako biglang kinabahan. But I tried hard to retain my composure. Saka binasa ko na rin. "Saint do not move, though grant for prayers' sake."
Turn na ni Tyler para basahin yung sagot ni Romeo pero hindi niya agad tinapos iyong tinginan namin. Sa halip, pansin kong mas malalalim na ang ginagawa niyang paghinga ngayon. Tulad ko.
Parang may nag-iba lang sa atmosphere dito sa loob.
"Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take."
Dahan-dahang inilapit ni Tyler ang mukha sa akin. And I didn't know if I was too dumbfounded or what that I didn't move. Parang naghihintay lang ako sa gagawin niya.
Huminto siya nang halos gahibla na lang ang distansya ng mga mukha namin sa isa't isa. He smiled at my still stunned face. "This is the part wherein the panel will say cut."
I blinked at his words. It took some seconds before they actually sank in. At nang mangyari na iyon ay ngumiti ako pabalik sa kanya. At sinagot siya. "I don't know. Sabi nung classmate ko last time they did everything written in the play."
One of his brows shot up before he released a brief, uneasy laugh. Bumaba ang tingin niya sa labi ko at hindi ko mapigilang mapalunok.
Ibinalik na niya ang tingin sa mata ko. His face turned serious. "Good thing though that you're not interested to join the play. No other Romeo can take what supposedly should be mine."
Hindi pa ako nakakareact doon nang lumayo na si Tyler. At nasa ganoong ayos pa rin ako habang pinanood siyang bumaba sa kama, kinuha iyong sapatos at sinuot na iyon.
He glanced at his phone then turned to look at me again. "It's almost twelve. I'll let you have your rest." Ngumiti na naman siya. "Anyway, you did well earlier. Kaya you don't have to worry. Because I know, you'll do well in your audition too."
Doon palang ako nakangiti pabalik sa kanya. "Salamat. You were a great help."
He shrugged. "You're welcome. I'll be going then."
Tumango ako. "Sige, pahinga ka na rin."
"Okay," sagot niya. Saka nagpahabol, "Wait, I know I'm kind of hard to resist to fantasize but please don't dream of me."
Hindi ko alam kung matatawa o maiinis doon kaya't napailing na lang ako sa kanya. "Know what, just go to your room already. Medyo humahangin na dito."
Tyler laughed in return. "You know I'm just kidding. Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow."
Tumango ako, hindi pa rin maalis ang ngiti. "Yeah. See you tomorrow."
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