"I miss you." I said into the phone, staring up at the ceiling.
"I miss you too." Lauren said. "I'm wearing your shirt."
"Really?" I smiled to myself, trying to imagine that in my head.
"Mhm." She giggled. "It smells really good."
"I bet you look really good too."
"I do." She laughed again and I laughed with her.
"Will you send me a picture?"
"Mhm. I will."
"Good," I paused. "How are you liking Austrailia?"
"It's gorgeous. I got to pet a kangaroo."
"It didn't kick you?"
"No. It liked me very much."
"Swans like me."
"So I've heard." She giggled.
"How have you been sleeping?"
"Um," She paused, almost hesitant I guess. "Ok."
"More nightmares?"
"Two, but it's not a big deal. I'm used to it."
"I'm sorry baby."
"It's ok. I'm ok."
"You know you can always call me."
"I know, but the time difference-"
"While I'm awake, you are asleep. Therefore if you wake up with a nightmare call me. Anytime of day. I mean that."
"Ok, thank you."
"You're welcome."
"I have to go. I have rehearsal, and you should go to sleep. I'll try and talk to you later ok?"
"Ok," I nodded. "I love you."
"I love you too. Goodnight Justin."
"Goodnight Laur." I smiled, then hung up the phone, snuggling into my covers.
I actually got to sleep tonight, no studio.
My day off had been quite lonely though. I had mostly slept, which I'm not complaining about.
But I hated not seeing her, just knowing she's there and I'm here.
It sucked, and right now things in our lives were just going completey nuts.
I was starting to wonder if we had picked a bad time to go public, especially with her leaving the next day.
Now the hate is coming from every direction, and I'm not there to hold her, because I know she's upset. After our conversation last night I just knew, she didn't have to even say the words, it was just the way she braught it up.
I sighed, turning oon my side and hugged my face to my pillow.
If you fall asleep now, it's one day closer to seeing her again.
One day closer.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Almost two weeks later:
5:13 PM
"Please? Can't I go in with you to get her?" I asked Kenny.
"No. It's too dangerous. Especially now. Do you see how many reporters are out there?"
"Yes, but I could make it inside. It makes me look bad if you're the one going in to get her. I'm the boyfriend."
"Oh don't worry about what other people think. Look, if you go, then I'm worried about your safety too, but if you stay here in the car with Moshe, and I go to get her, while she is with Marc, she has more protection then she would with you. Isn't that what you would want?"
"Yes." I grumbled. "I want her to be safe."
"Then I'll br right back ok?"
"Ok."
He got out of the car and I watched as he went inside the airport, then played around on my phone asI waited.
And waited, and waited.
I slouched, running my fingers through my hair and then looked at the time.
She had to coming out with him any minute.
Then I heard some sort of commotion and I scooted to the other side of the car, looking out the window towards the reporters.
They seperated, and out came Kenny holding onto Lauren's suitcase, with Lauren behind him, then Marc, her Mom, Angie, and Brian and Cameron who were making sure the reporters kept their distance.
So I liked them after all, but I didn't appriciate that they were the ones protecting my girlfriend.
I reached over for the door, opening it when she was a few steps away and she lifted up her head, smiling at me and lunged forward, throwing her arms around me into a tight, but a gentle hug.
I guess lovable is a better discription.
"Hi baby." I whispered in her ear, pulling her all the way in the car and Kenny shut the door.
"Hi." She whispered back with a laugh, then pulled away enough to kiss me.
I smiled, holding her hips in place so she wouldn't go anywhere, because I had been waiting a couple of weeks for this kiss.
"I'm glad you're back." I said as I pulled away.
"Me too. It's good to actually see you in person."
"Agreed." I smiled, kissing the tip of her nose. "I would have came and got you, but they wouldn't let me."
"It's ok. You came anyway. That's all that matters. If we would have been public longer it would have been a different story."
"Next time I'll come in there. I promise. I feel like sending him in there to get you is rude."
"It's ok. I understand. I'm not mad."
"Good." I smiled at her again, adjusting her on my lap and left my hands on her waist. "You're hair smells good."
"I took a nice warm shower this morning with good smelling shampoo." She giggled.
'And you're wearing my shirt."
"Honestly, if I would have known all those reporters were going to be there I wouldn't have, but I didn't know. Now I feel like it's going to be the main feature in next weeks newspaper."
"I'm sorry." I frowned, then kissed her cheek.
"It's ok. It's not your fault. I didn't mean it like that. But literally it was everywhere I went these past couple of weeks."
"I know what you mean." I sighed. "But we're together now, I was thinking you'd let me take you out on Monday."
"Sure, where?"
"Disneyland with my brother and sister, and dad, but you know what I mean." I smiled at her as she smiled at me.
"Mhm. I'd like that. It'd be fun."
"Good. Jazzy's excited to see you again."
"Really?"
"Yeah, she loves you. I think Jaxon has a little crush on you too."
"Aw," She laughed. "He's so cute."
"Hey. You're mine." I pretended to pout, sticking out my bottom lip and tilted my head up.
"I know, but he's your little brother. Of course he's cute."
"Very smart response." I chuckled, resting my chin on her shoulder. "How are you?"
"Ok, you?"
"Eh, alright. Tired. I've had a busy week."
"Me too, and I have some serious jetlag."
"I'd say. You're 18 hours ahead of schedule cutie."
"I know, pretty bad right?" She smiled, turning her head slightly so our eyes met. "So after dinner will you come back to my house?"
"Of course I will." I nodded, kissing her cheek again. "You got prettier when you left."
"Aw." She blushed, trying to look away from me. "You got sweeter."
"Aw." I mimicked, out lips touching gently in a sweet kiss. "I love you."
"I love you too."
I smiled up at her, hugging her waist tighter to me and she rested her head on my shoulder, falling asleep against me as we rode to dinner.
____________________________________________________________________________________
8:56 PM
"What do you want to do?" Lauren asked me as we walked through her house.
"Um, I don't know. Whatever you want is fine."
"Do you want to watch a movie? I can make popcorn in a popcorn machine."
"Ok." I laughed.
"Do you mind if I change really quick?"
"Aw, really?" I pouted, looking down at her cropped varsity jacket and her cropped tank. "No, I guess it's ok."
"I'm sorry." She laughed, blushing and then kissed my cheek. "You can go down if you want. I promise you won't get lost."
"If you promise." I sighed, laughing and she smiled back, then went upstairs.
I walked down into the basement, thankful honestly that we wouldn't be upstairs, because I hadn't seen her, and I wanted alone time, if you know what I mean.
Plus I feel like if we were right in front of her mom the whole time, well let's face it. I'm her boyfriend. That's pretty self explanatory.
I walked down the stairs, shoving my hands in my pockets and felt my eyes widen as I looked at the popcorn machine.
Not only was there a popcorn machine, but she had candy.
They were like in those jars they had when I did some interview in Britain.
I don't even remember the show...
Sweedish Fish, Sour Patch Kids, Twizzlers.
It's like she knew her candy would make me love her more.
And you think I'm joking.
But I am, so it's ok.
I snatched up a twizzler, then walked over to the pictures on the wall.
There was a picture of Lauren when she was little with someone I didn't recognize, magazine covers that she was on, her albums, one that was framed and that had gone gold.
It was neat how it was set up. I'd make a mental note of it.
Then there was a picture of Laur and her mom. It wasn't like a posed picture, it was casual, Lauren was laughing and her mom was smiling into the camera trying not to laugh.
Lauren just looked effortlessly goregeous. How she looked all the time, but still.
That picture stuck out to me.
I heard her light footsteps from behind and I turned, smiling as I swallowed the last of the twizzler.
"Oh, you found where my mom likes to proudly hand her pictures." She laughed a little, while I was taking in her pajama shorts and her tanktop, then her legs again.
"Oh," I said snapping out of it. "Yeah. I like it. What about that one?"
I motioned up to the picture of her and her mom, the one I had been looking at not too long ago.
"That one? That was at the release party for my EP. It was sorta the night reality set in I guess. It was fun."
"I wasn't invited." I pouted.
"I didn't know you then, and you didn't know me." She smiled, standing beside me and looked at the pictures.
"Yeah, that's true." I shrugged. "You know I would have made that party."
"I'm sure you would have." She laughed, then kissed my cheek.
"Hey." I whined a little, sticking out my bottom lip again.
"What?"
"You missed."
"Aw, I'm sorry." She giggled, her hands resting on my abs as she kissed me. "There you go. You taste like twizzlers."
"Uh oh." I said, blushing a little.
"You found my candy stash too." She smiled, my hands on her waist so she was closer.
"Yeah, about that. They were calling out to me."
"It's ok. I replenish my stash at least once a month. Go ahead. Eat as much of it as you want. That will be better for me."
"Yummy." I said. "What movie do you want to watch?"
'It doesn't matter to me."
'What's you favorite?"
"My favorite movie? I'm sorta stuck between The Notebook and Dear John, why?"
"Curious." I shrugged. "We can watch one of those if you want."
"Really?" She asked, a look of surprise on her face as she raised an eyebrow. "You'd want to watch one of those?"
"Yeah, sure. If you want to."
"You're sure? Because there is no going back." She smiled again, pulling out what I assumed was the stuff to make the popcorn.
"Yeah, I'm sure." I nodded. "I lived with my mom. Guys whine about chicflicks, but they secretly like them too. I admit."
"I knew it." She pretend to scowl and I laughed again, putting my arms around her quickly for a hug and kissed the side of her head.
"I love you." I told her, smiling into her cheek.
"I love you too." I felt her smiling and she turned her head our lips touching softly. "Did you want the good buttery popcorn or sweet caramel?"
"Like my eyes?" I asked, chuckling and left one had on her lower back.
"Yes," She nodded. "Like your eyes."
"The buttery stuff is fine. I'll be loading up on your sweets anyway."
"Ok." She laughed, flipping a switch on the machine which I assumed turned it on.
____________________________________________________________________________________
9:48 PM
"So why Channing Tatum?" I whispered in Lauren's ear as I kept my eyes on the screen.
"Why Emma Stone?"
"She's h- I mean Emma Stone? What are you talking about?" I said, cutting myself off as I turned my head.
"Exactly!"
"I didn't even say anything!"
"You were going to, and you've said it before. It's ok." She said, and I slowly looked at her, expecting her to be looking at me, but she watched the movie.
"But she's not as pretty as you." I told her, smiling and leaned so my lips rested against her cheek.
"Now you're just saying that."
"I am not! I wouldn't. I promise. You're beautiful."
"Stop." She laughed, turning her face into my shoulder.
"See you're blushing, because you know I'm telling the truth and I'm making you all fuzzy inside." I cooed, kissing the side of her head. "Now let me see your face."
"No." She giggled again, shaking her head as her hand rested on my shoulder.
"Do it, or I'll tickle you."
"No."
"Fine." I laughed this time, placing my hands on her sides quickly and she squealed, trying to squirm away.
She fell back a little and I continued to tickle her, laughing as she laughed and pulled her close again.
"Stop!" She said in between laughter. "I'm serious!"
"What are you going to do?!" I smiled, stopping for just a minute so she could catch her breath. "Nothing!"
"Stop! I can't breathe!" She managed, reaching for my hands.
"Oh no, no, no." I shook my head, wagging my finger and caught her hands in my other. "We've already been through this. Trying to catch my hands doesn't work, and look, now you're defenseless."
"Please?!" She said, her cheeks a light pink from laughing.
"Ok, but on one condition."
"And what's that?"
"I want a kiss." I said, touching my lips with my free hands.
"Ok." She smiled at me and I still held onto her hands, leaning down and pressed my lips softly to her's.
She broke away quickly, putting her finger up to my lips.
"W-" I started.
"Just give me a second. You're little tickle spree used up all my oxygen."
"I'm sorry." I smiled, through her finger as she took another breath.
"Ok, I'm good now." She laughed and I took her hands that I held in mine, pulling them around my neck.
"Ok." I said softly with a laugh, pressing my lips back against hers.
This might be it. Maybe this is why she wanted to watch a movie. Just kissing. I could do this all day, even dealing with the butterflies in my stomach.
I held onto her waist, pulling her closer as our lips moved gently again and then-
Wait a minute. No way.
She just bit my lip.
I think, maybe not.
No, she did. She's giggling.
Oh my god. YES!
So I deepened the kiss, letting go of her waist with one hand and held onto her leg, pulling it around my waist this time.
Ok, so I swear those butterflies aren't even butterflies, they have to be fireworks now. Like our first kiss, that's how it was, but of course differnet, because it's not our first kiss.
So then what did that mean? The basement was like a safe haven? Because if that's what was going on, that was a good idea, and it made sense.
I'd love the basement.
Actually I do, it has candy.
I had sour patch kids. I taste like sour patch kids! That's a bonus right? I mean I'd think so.
She tastes like sweedish fish...
Oh god, I hope she doesn't think I'm bad, but I'm not. I mean I'd say I'm a pretty good kisser, but so would every other bad kisser on the planet.
I could act as if I was coming up for air. That would work. Or at least just break the kiss.
So I pulled away, breathing for a moment and she did too into my cheek, smiling before I turned my head just enough so our lips were touching again.
And do on and so forth.....
It's not that it's new to me, just the fact that it's actually with her. Kissing her.
With other people it felt just right, with her, it was something completely different, it didn't feel right exactly, it felt so much more than that.
I was never that nervous asking anyone out like I had her, letting alone standing in the same room with her.
She was just different. She made me feel different, but a good kind of different.
A way that no one else would ever make me feel.
I've just wanted this for so long, and to know she felt the same way all that time, thought I wasn't interested and then moved on - that sucked. I sort of blame myself.
If I would have just told her, or kissed her like I had planned to, she would have never been with him. He wouldn't have broken her heart and he certainly wouldn't have had anything to do with hurting me.
Not that he did, but he took her - I should have just told her.
And then he tried to get her to sleep with her - after everything with her dad I'm sure she was so confused, and almost willing, but then she said no, and then it was over.
He wanted her for one thing only and that was sex. He would have broken up with her anyway, I know it, and I'm sure she knows it.
I couldn't imagine what that felt like. To be told 'I love you,' when really the whole time it was a lie.
I was so glad when she said no.
I wanted that with her, not now, but honestly I could see myself being with her forever. She was perfect in every way to me, I just wish she saw it like I did.
I hoped it would happen one day, when we were ready, but I would never do such a thing as use her for it.
That just proves you have low self-esteem....
Wow. Don't say that. She almost gave it up with Taylor.
She was lied to, tricked. Of course she thought he loved her. She's never had the kind of love every girl deserves, but I want her to. I want to give it to her.
I would give it to her.
I love her. There isn't any doubt in my mind.
To see her smile like that, it was the best feeling in the world.
To see her cry, whatever she was feeling I wanted to feel it too, just so I could take it away from her.
I know for me, that night when we were out on the lake and she just cried, because of me - not talking to her, leaving her wondering with all those questions because I was so hurt myself - I wanted to hug her and not let go, tell her I was sorry and that everything was going to be alright, that I'd never leave her again, that seeing her cry really broke my heart because I wanted her to be happy.
I'd do all those things, I'd be all those things.
I'd do anything for her....
I pulled away, trying to find my breathing again and kissed her forehead.
"I love you Laur." I whispered, my lips still resting against her skin.
"I love you too Justin." She whispered back, still catching her breath and I pulled back a little, looking down at her and kissed her lips shortly.
Just the feeling those words alone gave me every time she said them was indescribable.
"You're so pretty." I said, pecking her cheek.
"Thank you." She smiled up at me, reaching up and ran her fingers through my hair. "You're quite handsome yourself.
"Thank you." I chuckled. "Will you cuddle with me?"
"Yes." She laughed, nodding her head and I sat up, pulling her back onto my lap and snuggled my face into her hair.
"You're toasty." I said.
"Me? I'm freezing. I thought about putting on sweatpants."
"No, don't. I like your shorts."
"I'm sure you do."
"I'll keep you warm. No sweatpants. If you would have done that first, sure. You'd still look hot, but now that you are wearing shorts there is no way I am letting you turn this into a tease."
"Ok," She giggled. "No pants."
"Well when you say it like that..." I sighed, her mouth hanging open and I grinned. "I'm just kidding. Keep your shorts on. Please."
"You don't like my butt?" She pouted.
"I never said anything about your butt! You have a very nice butt."
"Justin!" She said, hitting my arm lightly.
"What was that for? You asked. I give out compliments and I get in trouble." I pouted back, slouching a little with her curled against me and flickered my eyes to the screen.
"Aw, you're so cute when I mess with you."
"Aw, you're so cute when I mess with you." I mimicked.
"Thanks. For my nice butt remark."
"You're welcome. And anytime you feel insecure about your butt, you just let me know. I'll be more than happy to look and tell you you have a nice butt."
"Justin!"
"What? I'm just being honest."
She laughed, playfully rolling her eyes and rested her head in the crevice of my neck.
___________________________________________________________________________________
I hope you guys liked this one!! Like I said I'm changing things, and I've edited the first 5 chapters of the original book. PLEASE GO BACK AND READ IT! IT'S DIFFERENT! And I think you guys will like it better. I've noticed I've been getting more fans as I changed it, so PLEASE! I'm begging you! GO BACK AND READ IT! :D