Things with Ashton didn't go back to normal straight away.
We didn't even agree to officially get back together, and I was mostly fine with that. Ashton was fine with it too, because he knew that after all that we'd been through things wouldn't be able to be exactly the same as they were before for a while. We were taking things slow, and trying to make sure that we did everything right this time.
It had been two weeks since Ashton and I finally confessed everything to each other and talked things out, and since then things had gotten so much better between us and all of our friends.
Luke was happy, of course, because he'd been rooting for Ashton and I from the start and was glad to see that we had finally decided to work things out. I didn't get annoyed with him anymore because he wasn't trying to set Ashton and I up on any more dates and Luke didn't get annoyed with me for being so bitchy all the time.
Michael was also happy (at least that's what he said), and he was slowly beginning to open up to Ashton more and talk to him about his feelings. He was still planning on leaving towards the end of the school year, and Ashton and I both agreed that him doing that would be the right thing. Michael had a hard time admitting it, but he really did need help, and him going away to try and get that help was what was best for him.
Even Brooke was happy that Ashton and I made up; that's what she told me when I called her, anyway. I think she's mostly just glad that Luke won't be asking her to go on any more "friend dates" with Ashton and I. I really did miss Brooke, and I hoped that once all of this baby drama was over things could return to normal with us as well.
And of course Calum was happy, too, because Calum is just always happy. Honestly, I wasn't even sure if he knew about half of the things that went on over the last couple months, he seemed extremely occupied with his girlfriend, which wasn't a bad thing at all, it just caused him to be a little blind to what was going on around him.
I was at my locker before lunch, grabbing my books for my afternoon classes, when I felt a pair of arms wrap around my from behind. "Hi," Ashton whispered, resting his head on my shoulder.
"Hi." I said quietly, trying to wiggle out of Ashton's grasp.
"How are you?" He asked, even though he literally saw me a few hours before.
"I'm fine." I laughed, still struggling to get away from Ashton so I could finish getting things out of my locker.
"Have you had a good day so far?" Ashton asked. He finally let go, allowing me to grab the remaining books from my locker and slam the door shut.
"Yeah, I guess." I chuckled, "I saw you a few hours ago."
"I know." Ashton shrugged. He hesitantly took my hand in his, lacing out fingers together. We hadn't done anything more than hug or hold hands in the past two weeks, and while I was happy that we were taking things slow, I sometimes missed the way Ashton and I used to be so comfortable around each other.
"How has your day been?" I asked him in return.
"Alright." Ashton said, shrugging again. "I got in trouble in gym again."
"For what?" I tried not to laugh, already knowing the answer to my question.
"Smoking."
"Of course." I said, finally letting out a short laugh.
"It's not my fault!" Ashton laughed, swinging our hands back and forth as we walked down the hall.
"Technically it is..." I said, biting down on my bottom lip.
"No it's not." Ashton whined.
"You buy the cigarettes!" I countered, trying to get him to see my point.
"You smoke them." Ashton shrugged.
"Only sometimes!" I protested, hiding my face with my one free hand. "You wouldn't get in trouble if you didn't insist on smoking during gym every day."
"But I like smoking." Ashton giggled.
"Irwin." I said sternly, raising an eyebrow at him.
"Murphy..." Ashton said slowly. He stopped walking and turned towards me, placing his hands on my hips. I slowly started walking backwards until my back hit the lockers behind me and Ashton's body was practically pressed against mine.
"What?" I asked innocently, cocking my head to the side. I'd been waiting for a moment like this for a very long time, and I was starting to get pretty anxious.
I loved Ashton and I knew that he loved me too, and while I did want to take things slow for a while part of me was also ready to jump into a relationship with him. It missed it, I really did, and I think I was ready for things to be normal again.
"Do you even know how bad I want to kiss you right now?" Ashton whispered, leaning in just enough so his lips were softly brushing against the skin right below my ear.
"No one's stopping you." I whispered back, running my hands up Ashton's chest and letting them settle on the back of his neck.
There wasn't even anyone in the halls anymore, Ashton and I could potentially do whatever we wanted and no one would even catch us.
"I'm stopping myself." Ashton's hot breath hit my skin as he spoke, giving me goosebumps. This was the closest we'd been in a long time, and I almost felt nervous, like I should be scared about this.
"But why?" I pouted.
"I want to do all of this right, I don't want to rush." Ashton pulled back from me just a little, his nose lightly brushing against my own.
"It's been such a long time..." I said, continuing to pout. I was hoping that Ashton would just give in when he saw me like that, like he used to.
"I know, Murph, I know." Ashton mumbled. He quickly kissed my cheek and grabbed my hands in his own, lacing out fingers together again like they were moments before.
We continued walking down the hallway, taking our time as we made our towards the lunchroom. Ashton pulled me close to him, wrapping an arm around my waist and pressing his lips to my temple every few seconds.
"You know I love you, right?" Ashton whispered in my ear, his grip on my waist tightening.
"I know." I nodded, feeling butterflies in my stomach at Ashton's words.
"I want to love you for a long time." Ashton said quietly. He stopped walking again and wrapped both arms around my waist, holding me close to his chest.
"What do you mean?" I asked, looking up at him.
"I'm in this forever, baby, and I don't want to mess anything up." Ashton whispered. "That's why I'm trying to take things so slow, I want this to be... perfect."
"I know." I repeated. "I love you."
Ashton leaned in and kissed me on the forehead one last time before turning away and taking my hand again, leading me the rest of the way down the hall and finally to the lunchroom.
We made it to the lunchroom shortly after and Ashton quickly found the table where our friends were sitting and waiting for us. Luke and Calum looked up at Ashton and I sat down, finishing up their conversation. Michael was also at our table, but he wasn't speaking at all, as usual. He was just staring down at his phone, and that didn't surprise any of us.
"Oh, look who finally decided to show up." Luke laughed. "What were you doing, making out in the janitors closest?"
"Hey, we've never done that!" Ashton protested. He leaned back and put his arm around my chair, his hand barely brushing against my skin.
Michael looked up from his phone for a brief second and glanced at me, a small smirk playing on his lips at the memory of our time in the janitors closet. We never made out in there, of course, but it was still nice for us to share this secret that no one else knew of.
"Sure, sure." Calum nudged Luke in the side with his elbow, rolling his eyes a little.
"We were just talking!" I assured everyone, trying to end this conversation.
"So how are you guys?" Luke asked, looking at Ashton and I. Now that Ashton and I weren't fighting anymore Luke had stopped trying to get us back together, but that didn't mean he hadn't stopped bothering us in general.
"We're good, aren't we Murphy?" Ashton turned to me, a huge smile plastered on his face.
"We are." I nodded, and Luke let out a loud 'Aww!'. He was such a girl sometimes.
"They're taking things slow." Calum laughed, reminding Luke of what he already knew. We'd talking more than once about the fact that Ashton and I were "taking things slow" so Luke, Calum and Michael all knew about it.
"It's working!" I laughed.
"It is!" Ashton agreed, scooting his chair even closer to mine.
"How are you and your girlfriend?" Luke asked Calum, elbowing him again.
"We're good, she's good." Calum said, trying to hold back his huge smile. I'd only talked to his girlfriend, Kayla, a few times, but I could tell that she was a really great girl and I knew that she made Calum really happy.
"What about you, Luke?" Ashton asked, making everyone else at the table let out a laugh.
"It's complicated." Luke shrugged.
"Is it really, or are you just saying that?" I laughed, because last I heard it really wasn't that complicated with him a Brooke. From what I understood, they were trying things again, even though Brooke still had this whole baby thing to focus on and Luke was still way more in love with her than she was with him. They were basically doing the same as Ashton and I; taking things slow.
"It's... a little complicated." Luke blushed, shrugging again. "Baby drama, you know?"
"Oh yeah, I know all about it." Ashton joked sarcastically, rolling his eyes.
"I'm sure you do." Luke laughed nervously, scooting his chair back from the table and standing up. "I'm going to go get something to eat, do you want anything?"
"I'm good." I said, looking over to Ashton to see if he wanted anything.
"I'm alright, thanks." Ashton nodded, giving Luke a small smile.
"I'll come with!" Calum said quickly and also stood up, following after Luke as he made his way through the lunchroom.
Ashton, Michael and I looked back and forth between each other, the whole atmosphere of the table obviously a little awkward. Michael still wasn't used to speaking in front of Ashton and I could tell that Ashton wasn't totally comfortable with the fact that Michael and I had such a close relationship with each other. I knew that he was happy that the two of us were friends, but I could understand why Ashton felt weird about the whole thing.
"I'll be right back, there's something that I need to do." Ashton said quietly, leaning over and pressing a quick kiss to the side of my forehead before standing up and walking away from our table, in the opposite direction of Luke and Calum.
I nodded and watched Ashton walk out of the room, then turned back to Michael, who was looking down at his phone - like he always was. Finally he looked up at me, his eyes wide and a big smile on his lips.
"Cool, I thought he'd never leave." Michael chuckled, setting his phone down on the table and direction his full attention to me.
"I thought you guys were okay now." I said, almost as a question.
"We are, yeah..." Michael trailed off. "It's still weird for us to talk to each other. I don't really like it, and I can tell that Ashton doesn't really like it either."
"You have to try, don't you?" I asked.
"I guess." Michael shrugged. I could tell that there was something he wasn't telling me, but I didn't want to push him, especially here. I was always sure to be careful about talking to Michael and really anyone when we were here at school, mostly because I didn't want to ruin anything else when we'd literally all made up with each other. I'd hate to be the cause of another huge fight.
"Are you okay?" I decided to ask instead, because I knew that if there was something really wrong Michael would tell me, and this way I didn't need to push him to say something that he didn't need to say.
"I'm - I'm okay, Dani." Michael said, hesitating for a moment.
"You know, you can always - "
"Tell you anything, I know." Michael smiled, cutting me off. "I'm just a little upset, that's all."
"You're always 'a little upset'." I chuckled.
"I'm more upset than usual." Michael said, and even though he claimed he was upset he still laughed.
"Why?" I asked, "What's wrong?"
"I'm leaving soon." Michael sighed and leaned back in his chair, looking at his phone again. For a guy that doesn't talk much, Michael sure texted a lot of people.
"How soon?" I asked quickly. Michael always talked about how he was going to have to leave soon, but I didn't think that it was going to be that soon. I assumed that he was going to move out at the end of the school year, which is what he originally told me. "You're staying until the end of the school year, right?"
"Um... About that..." Michael rubbed the back of his neck, nervously looking around the room.
"Michael...?" I asked slowly, already knowing that I probably wasn't going to like what he was about to tell me.
"Two weeks." Michael swallowed hard, looking back towards me.
"What?"
"Two weeks." He repeated before standing up and walking out of the lunchroom, leaving me alone.
-
" - But then my teacher told me that he wouldn't give me a detention for it this time, because it's my senior year and he already knows that I'm past the point of caring." Ashton finished his story as we walked hand in hand down the block, having gotten off of the bus just minutes before.
Michael had taken the bus home from school with us today, but as soon as we got off he quickly started to walk down the street in the opposite direction of our houses, not telling Ashton and I where he was going. He was upset, most likely about what we were talking about at lunch, and Ashton and I didn't want to bother him about it.
"Your teacher kind of sounds like a douche." I said, scrunching my nose up at what Ashton had just told me. "What class was that again?"
"English." Ashton chuckled, "Apparently I'm not supposed to just get up and walk out of the room whenever I please."
"It's your senior year and you're just realizing this?" I laughed.
"I've never had a reason to just walk out of a classroom until now." Ashton said, shrugging.
"What was the reason?" I asked.
"I don't know, I was bored." Ashton chuckled, finishing up the last of his cigarette and dropping it to the ground next to him. "I wanted to go outside, it's a beautiful day!"
"Ashton!" I laughed, playfully slapping him on the arm. We'd reached my house now and Ashton had walked me up to the front porch, but I knew that neither of us were ready to say goodbye just yet. My parents were home, so Ashton couldn't come inside, but they'd never find out if Ashton and I stayed out here for a little while longer.
"All of my classes now are just bullshit, in a couple months we'll be graduating and neither of us will need to worry about English or math or science class." Ashton scoffed. He sat down on the stoop in front of my front door, pulling me with him.
"Well, there's always college..." I trailed off, not even sure if I wanted to finish my sentence.
((tbh I'm like 6 years old idk how applying to college works don't yell at me))
I had thought about college, I didn't even know what I would major in if I decided to go. I knew that Ashton didn't want to go to college at all, he wanted to open up his own music store and work there for the rest of his life. That was a good plan for him, but it wasn't going to help me at all. I had no idea what I was going to do with my life, and I hated thinking about it.
"College is stupid, Murphy, I'm not going to college." Ashton mumbled. He wrapped his arm around my waist again and somehow his hand found it's was up the side of my sweater, resting it on my hip and rubbing small circles into my skin with his thumb.
"I know." I nodded, staring straight ahead of me instead of at Ashton.
"I couldn't afford it even if I wanted to go." Ashton said softly, gently rubbing his thumb across my skin.
"You could get a scholarship." I said, almost as a joke. It was too late for scholarships anyway, I already knew that Ashton had made up his mind. There was no way he was going to college at this point.
"For what?" Ashton laughed.
"Being an idiot." I shrugged.
"Wow, Murphy, that's funny." Ashton joked, bumping my shoulder with his. We sat in silence for a few minutes, just enjoying each other's company. I knew that we were both thinking of a lot of things at the moment, and now neither one of us knew what to say.
"Are you going to go to college?" Ashton asked, leaning in and pressing a sloppy kiss to my cheek.
"I mean, I've thought about it a little, mostly last year... I've applied to some places, I just don't know what I want to do." I mumbled, looking down at my lap.
"Don't leave me, Murphy." Ashton spoke with his lips pressed to my neck, leaving a few more short kisses on my skin.
"I won't leave you." I whispered, leaning in more so I was even closer to Ashton.
"You can't leave me." Ashton said quietly. "Michael's already leaving me, I can't let you leave too."
"Michael's not leaving forever." I reminded Ashton, even though neither of us knew if what I was saying was true or not. I was honestly really scared about this whole Michael moving away thing, but I felt that Ashton wasn't the right person to talk about it with.
"We don't know that for sure." Ashton shrugged.
"Everything will be okay." I said, turning a little more so I could face Ashton.
We didn't say anything else after that, we just stared at each other. I didn't want to speak and ruin the moment and Ashton probably had too much on his mind to find something to say. It was okay, though, I sometimes liked the silence, because it felt good to just sit there with Ashton and not say anything at all.
"I can't take this anymore." Ashton said softly after a long silence, bringing a finger up to my cheek and gently tracing over my skin.
"Can't take what?" I whispered, feeling my cheeks heat up. I thought that it was kind of amazing, actually, that Ashton and I had been through so much together and I still got nervous about little things like this.
"I want to kiss you, I want to love you, I want to be with you every possible second that I can." Ashton whispered, already leaning in closer.
All I could do was nod, because I was almost too shocked to say anything and I was afraid that if I did try to speak I'd just say something stupid and mess this all up.
"The time that we spent away from each other only made me realize that I care about you probably more than you'll ever know." Ashton said, taking a piece of my hair and tucking it behind my ear.
"I love - "
"I love you, Dani." He whispered, gently cupping my cheek with his hand and pulling me closer until our lips finally met. It felt so good, almost indescribable, to kiss Ashton again. I'd missed the feeling of his warm, soft lips on mine so much and I hadn't even realized it.
I brought my hands up to the nape of his neck, playing with the short ends of his hair while his lips slowly moved against mine, both of us careful not to get too carried away and rush things. Ashton gently took my bottom lip in between his own and sucked, tilting his head to the side so he could deepen the kiss even more. His other arm wrapped around my waist as well, tightly holding me and pulling my body as close to his as he could.
"I really wish you could come inside." I said breathlessly after a few minutes, my fingers tangling themselves in Ashton's hair and causing him to let out a small moan. The kiss was getting more heated now, which was clearly due to the fact that we hadn't done anything like this in a long time.
"God, I wish I could come inside too." Ashton's lips moved down to my neck where he nipped at my skin again, probably leaving a few small marks.
"Soon." I whispered, grabbing the sides of Ashton's face and pulling his lips to mine again. I couldn't get enough of Ashton and just his lips in general, it was like I physically needed to be this close to him.
"Saturday." Ashton whispered against my lips, both of us slowly down more now. We continued to kiss for a few more minutes before I decided to answer, not wanting this moment to end.
"What's Saturday?" I questioned, pulling away from Ashton, only to have him pull me back and kiss me again.
"We're going on a date. And if I'm lucky - " Ashton paused, pecking my lips a few more times. "- Your parents won't be home and I can spend the whole night with you."
"I'll check." I laughed, kissing Ashton one last time before we both silently decided that we'd done enough for now. "But Saturday sounds good."
"I can't wait." Ashton said, his breathing still heavy from what we'd just done. He reached out and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear, which probably looked like a mess from Ashton having his hands all tangled up in it.
"I better go inside now." I said, slowly standing up from the front step. Ashton followed my actions, brushing his black skinny jeans off as he stood up and faced me.
"I really think this is going to work out, Murphy." Ashton said quickly, like he was afraid to even say it in the first place. "You know, I meant it, what I said that one day at the restaurant."
"What do you mean?" I asked again, unable to remember just what Ashton had told me. I was a little overwhelmed at the moment, I was finding it hard to think straight.
"I think we're meant for each other, Murphy, and I knew that if we really were meant for each other we'd find a way back." Ashton explained, biting his bottom lip.
"Well I think it's going to work out, too." I nodded, agreeing with him and finally remembering what he was talking. "I believe in us."
"I should go now, I don't want your parents to come out and catch me here with you." Ashton chuckled, leaning in and giving me one last kiss before turning around and beginning to walk away from my house. "I kind of like sneaking around, it's like Romeo and Juliet."
"Have you ever read Romeo and Juliet?" I asked, laughing at Ashton as he walked down the driveway backwards, so he was still facing me.
"I saw the movie once." Ashton shrugged. "That weird one, with Leonardo DiCaprio."
"Goodbye, Ashton." I laughed, knowing that he had to get going now.
"I'll see you tomorrow at 7:15, won't I?" Ashton asked, almost tripping because he was still walking backwards away from the house.
"You will." I said, biting back a big smile as I watched Ashton Irwin, the boy that I'd somehow fallen head over heels in love with, walk away from me. "I love you!"
"I love you more!" Ashton turned and gave me a thumbs up before he reached back into his pockets and pulled out his pack of cigarettes.
I sighed and turned around, finally opening my front door and stepping into my house, feeling a lot happier than I had in a long time.
-
IM SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN LIKE TWO MONTHS
THATS REALLY ALL I HAVE TO SAY
I WAS JUST LAZY
IM SORRY
I HOPE YOU LIKED THIS
IT WAS JUST A FILLER
GOODBYE