My heart hammers and my palms sweat, my vision becomes blurry and I gasp for air.
"El!" I hear my name being called but I can't respond, I can't see! I need air. Air. I stumble to the door and swing it open, stepping out into the warm summer's morning. Hollow breaths and heart hammering, I stagger out further.
"Noey!" Grayson this time, he grabs me and pulls me to the floor with him. "Deep breaths."
"I... can't..." I breathe out.
"Someone get Archie on the phone!" He snaps and I hear Tom stumbling for his phone and calling Archie.
"Tom, how may I help?" Archie's voice sounds from what I presume is the phone.
"Panic attack, what can we do, she won't stop!" His voice is worried.
Not my fault, of course it would happen today of all bloody days.
"Well I'm on my way to the courthouse now, it's passed your house, that's if you're there. I can stop off and help."
"Thanks Archie," Flynn says this time, he's by the door, I can tell by his voice.
Just the mention of courthouse makes me panic more.
Guilty, guilty, guilty!
Tears spring to my vision, why not? Add in me blacking out and make it a real treat. If I wasn't panicking I would've laughed at my sarcastic remark in my mind.
Grayson brings me into his lap, I sit sideways so my left side is in his chest. He cradles me and softly speaks to me. All boys here make me feel safe but at the moment, it's not making me calm. Bandit barks and pushes himself to me, licking at my face, it helps until he stops and runs off barking at a bird.
I hear a car roll up and a door close.
"Noelle, look at me." Archie.
I frantically look around and my eyes land on his, he's in front of me. He breathes in and out.
"Copy me."
"I can't," I'm getting dizzy, light headed. "I think... I'm going to... pass out..."
"Someone get some water!" He yells. "You're not going to pass out, just copy me."
I slow my breathing as much as I can, it's still not in rhythm with his slower breaths but it has subsided.
"Try and get her to stop breathing, it might help," Tom says as he throws the water bottle to Grayson.
"Good idea Tom," Archie says.
Grayson moves my head to look at him, he smiles and pushes his lips into mine. For God's sake, he's good.
He pulls apart and my breathing has almost gone back to normal.
"Copy me a bit more Noelle." I draw my attention back to Archie and copy him, my breathing finally becomes normal.
"Thanks, Grace, thanks Archie." I smile and Grayson gives me the water, I take a sip.
I lay my head back against Grayson, closing my eyes for a short while and taking a quick nap.
After a while I feel someone nudge me, "Are you guys ready to go? It starts in half an hour." Archie stands up, he's in a dark blue suit with a red tie, he makes his way to his car.
I flinch at his question and Flynn helps me up off of Grayson. I pick up Bandit and kiss his nose, giving him a light squeeze and throw his toy for him inside before closing the door.
Both twins are in matching grey suits with black ties, Grayson is in a black suit and black tie. I'm in a black tight skirt, white blouse and matching black blazer. I'm wearing heels as well, this'll be interesting.
"I don't think I'll ever be ready," I say, Grayson stands beside me and entwines his hand with mine, he lightly squeezes my hand.
"Well, has to be done." Archie climbs into his car.
"Wouldn't have been if I didn't rat her out to the police," I seethe.
"You have a good conscience, you did the right thing," Flynn reassures and I nod, not believing any of it though.
"He's right Noey, knowing me, I would've done it sooner or later." I glare at Grayson and he shrugs.
We make our way to his car, the twins take their own car as they're going to pick up Kira on the way.
"Meet you there!" Grayson hollows to everyone, tail ending Archie as we drive off to the courthouse.
I barely listen to the judge, just keep my eyes to the back of Aunt Susan's head. Her hair isn't as well kept as it has been before. That's your fault that. I shiver and Grayson squeezes my hand, he hasn't let go since we got here.
"Charlotte Mathews, please make your way to the stand." The judge gesture to the stand and Lottie obeys.
They begin talking about what she saw and heard, she says everything to the last detail.
There's a few whispers from the benches and then silence falls again.
The judge turns to Aunt Susan and her lawyers, he asks them questions but before the lawyers can step in and say what they want to say, Aunt Susan stands up.
"What's she doing?" Grayson whispers into my ear, I shrug and grip to his hand tighter.
"Your honour, I would like to confess my actions against Phil Evans." The judge allows her to continue.
She turns and looks to me, "Whenever I woke up, I could see a piece of my Noelle's mother through my niece, she was still with me through her, and I still do now. Knowing that Phil did what he did, made me so angry, I felt sorry for the child I now have to raise alone.
"She deserves a better mother- she deserves the mother she had before. I killed Phil, I admit that but I'm also not sorry for what I have done as such, he was my soulmate, yes and I loved him so much. However, knowing he nearly killed all of my sister's family, made me want revenge, justice for my dear sister. I know what I did was wrong, I have to live with that with a piece of evidence visible." She holds out her wrist with the overlapped tattoos.
The courtroom erupts with chatter from all around us.
My eyes are round in shock and I swear my heart has stopped.
"Order, order!" The judge shouts, bashing his hammer, "I said, order!" He says louder, it echoes and everyone around us becomes silent.
"We'd like to call for a break," one of Aunt S's lawyers tells the judge.
"Court adjourned." He bashes his hammer and everyone files out.
Aunt Susan gets taken through a separate door by an officer, Grayson drags me out the room.
"That was unexpected," Kira says, she's wearing the same thing as me but with a blue blazer.
"She did the right thing in my opinion, can only go wrong if you lie." Archie looks to me with sympathy crossing his eyes, I look away and lean into Grayson.
"How's you holding up El?" Flynn asks.
"I think I'm okay, scissors."
He nods and grins a dimpled grin.
"I'm glad it's air conditioned in that room, it's baking out here!" Tom says, we walk back to our cars.
"When's the next trial?" Kira asks.
"Tomorrow I believe." I climb into the passenger seat in Grayson's car and close the door, buckling up.
"Give her time guys, it's going to be hard on her," I hear Archie mumble and they all depart to their cars.
"How's my gem?" Grayson asks as we are finally alone and making our way back to his house, his mum has chores to do so will be back home later, taking an Uber like she did this morning.
"Dumb question, I hope she's okay." I look out the window, watching the shops and houses pass us quickly.
"She's probably more worried about you!" He takes hold of my hand again and kisses the knuckles. "She will be fine, the worse that can happen is her being in a prison cell, she will still get food and you will be able to visit. Think of it as her moving out." I raise an eyebrow at him as if to say 'really?'
I look back out the window again.
It's the next day and we're back at the courthouse. The trial hasn't started yet so Archie got us a McDonald's breakfast. I barely touch my sausage McMuffin, whereas Tom has devoured two.
"Are you going to eat that?" He asks, pointing to my muffin.
I shake my head and hand it to him.
"Tom, she hasn't eaten, much these passed few days, we need to force her to eat." Flynn snatches the McMuffin from Tom and hands it back to me. "Eat it or you will waste away," he puts a hand over my shoulder and I nibble at the sausage that peeps out from the buns. "Good girl." He kisses my forehead.
I only eat half of it and secretly hand it to Tom, he smiles at me cheekily and eats it before anyone else can see.
"I saw that," Kira calls and I smile at her.
"I wish Bandit was here." I sulk.
"Well, I'm finding him a trainer to become a service dog for you," Archie announces.
"I don't have a disability."
"You can get service dogs for anxiety you know, then you can take him anywhere you want, including a court room."
"Cool." I smile at Archie and check the time, groaning.
We follow the other people into the courthouse and take out seats in the room we were in yesterday.
It takes an hour of discussions and questioning from the judge, I again don't pay any attention, my leg shakes.
"Upon hearing Susan Evans confess of her actions, as well as the evidence proven by the witnesses, I find the defendant guilty! Fifteen years in prison and then an on-license after that time." With that the judges hammer smacks down and people file out.
I follow along, numb. Tears fight for escaping but I force them down. After a while, Aunt Susan comes out with a police officer. I rush over to her and hug her close.
"I'm so sorry," I sob.
She strokes my hair. "Sh, it's okay, I forgive you, you did the right thing and that makes me happy." She hugs me and rocks us side to side.
"I love you," I whisper into her ear, I pull away from the hug.
"I love you too." She gets ushered into the police car and they drive away.
I turn back round and bury my head into Grayson, he lays his head on mine and kisses the top of my head.
"Come on, I did something that will take your mind off of things."
We clamber into his car and he drives off.
"Where we going?" I ask, still numb but quite content with my adventure with Grayson through the forest.
"I made it the other day, come along, it's just passed here and through here." He directs us through a cluster of bushes, he pulls away one and I step through the opening. A few trees stand behind the bush and the ground is mossy, wild flowers sprout from the ground and stand tall, the sun is setting and it makes an orange glow through the tree lines. The floor has been scattered with rose petals that lead up to a small picnic blanket, the trees have some sort of fairy lights stringing from them.
"How did you manage the fairy lights?" I ask, amazed.
"L.E.D lighting," he says with a grin, he takes me to the picnic blanket and opens the basket.
"Don't tell Archie or your aunt." He pours me an alcoholic beverage and I don't hesitate, I gulp most of it down.
"Steady on, my gem." He laughs and hands me a sandwich.
It's mustard ham. We begin eating all sorts of snacks from the sandwiches to cakes.
The sun is gone and stars twinkle through the opening of the trees. We hold hands and lay down, looking up at the stars.
A shooting star zooms passed and I gasp.
"What was that?" I ask.
"A shooting star." Grayson chuckles.
"That's my first time seeing one."
"Make a wish," he mutters.
"My wish has already come true." I turn to him as he looks to me.
"Oh? What's that?"
"You." I smile and blush.
"Come here," he whispers and I lay my head on his chest, I look up to him and we kiss again, I don't think I can ever get enough of his kisses, so passionate and loving.
"I love you, my gem."
"I love you too, Grace."
And honestly, though what has happened with Aunt Susan, I would never change what is happening now for the world because I couldn't be any happier as of this specific moment, here with my soulmate. Grayson Mathews.