-' 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙛𝙞𝙫𝙚 - 𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙠𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙
5장
the morning sun that was rising behind the mountains lighted up the spacious dorm with its large windows. but the dorm felt lonely and cold.
it was 5:30am and jungkook still hadn't came home yet jimin was still awake, feeling uneasy as he waited for jungkook to come back already. he started to get worried for him, especially after yoongi's words saying that he would hope that jungkook will come back.
jimin laid back on his bed and after turning around multiple times, his heavy eyelids closed shut as he went to the beautiful but draining place called dreamland, where he would be seeing the same dream he has been seeing very often recently.
jimin was 11 and he was playing at the park in busan by himself. it was cold and raining, but luckily jimin was wearing a very warm and good clothes so little rain didn't stop him.
"h-hey..excuse me? can I borrow your phone little quick?" little boy who was about jimin's age ran to jimin and asked. he was shivering, bleeding and he looked so scared.
he didn't have anything warm, he was a soaking wet and he had cuts and bruises on his arms and face. he was also crying.
"yes of course... are you okay?" jimin asked and gave his little nokia phone that his parents had gotten for him just in case.
"y-yes" the little boy said and walked couple meters away from jimin and made a call.
"t-thank you very much.." the little boy came back after an while.
jimin was about to give his jacket but the the little boy started to walk away.
"hey.. wait!" jimin yelled and the boy stopped and looked at jimin with his round eyes.
"what is your name?" jimin asked.
"damnit! it always ends there" jimin woke up, after he had slept almost two hours and it was 7am right now.
"I'll never get to know his name..." jimin was mumbling to himself and it really started to bother him that he couldn't remember the boy's name and the dream always ended there. he only recently started having these dreams.
someone came in their dorm and jimin immediately stood up from his bed and walked to see jungkook with a huge dark circles around his puffy eyes.
"h-hey..." jimin said and jungkook didn't say a thing, he was too tired to even mumble a word. jungkook had spent a few hours at the cemetary trying to calm himself down before coming to the dorm, he didn't hate jimin but had no energy to say anything.
jungkook looked literally dead, he was pale and he had a huge bags under his eyes. he was so tired that he was even swinging while he was walking towards his room. it alarmed jimin again, he disliked seeing jungkook like this.
"uhh... you should sleep now you look very tired.." jimin said gently, fiddling his fingers nervously as he waited for an response from jungkook. he stopped and looked at jimin, then the time on his phone that made him sigh outloud.
" great I have an hour to sleep.. i'll take it" jungkook sighed and dragged his heavy exhausting feet to his room. he was a little surprised when he saw that his room was clean up. he thought. "jimin finally did something right" jungkook fell on his bed and closed his eyes immediately.
"an hour to sleep... that is not good.." jimin was standing outside of jungkook's room, thinking how he had messed everything up. he despised himself the most in the world, how could he let himself to be totally taken control by someone else? how could've he let himself to be carried away and become a person who hurt others? his thoughts that caused him headache, were playing nonstop inside of his head.
jimin was worried over jungkook, he knew that the feelings of hatred were replaced with something else that he couldn't quite point his finger at yet, his feelings were starting to get confusing and he wanted to drift his mind away from his thoughts.
so, jimin went to their well functioning kitchen and started cooking, which was something he genuinely enjoyed. he didn't have anything else to do and sleeping didn't sound very appealing anymore.
an hour went by really quickly and jungkook slowly, while rubbing his tired eyes, walked out of his room looking even worse than before. he walked straight into the bathroom to take a shower. jimin stood still, not knowing what to do and how to act.
after jungkook came out of the shower, he only had a towel around his waist, still looking very tired that he didn't probably remember that jimin actually lived there with him.
jimin tried not to look but he couldn't help it. jungkook was really skinny, but he also had some abs and a bit of muscles. what also gained jimin's attention was perhaps some scars on jungkook's arms and abdomen. he couldn't take a good look since jungkook just walked past by and jimin didn't want to seem like a pervert.
but he noticed enough to make him wonder.
"what the hell was that" were his exact thoughts, but obviously would never dare ask that to him.
jungkook walked into his room and changed his clothes. he really didn't realize that jimin lived with him due to his lack of sleep and ability to think, so that's why he walked half naked there like he had used to do. jungkook was hoping that jimin didn't notice him at all.
jungkook came out of his room and sat down around the table in the kitchen where jimin was. the dorm was very clean that it was almost very impressive, it was hard to believe that there was a party there last night. jungkook poured the coffee in his cup that jimin had made and sat down to watch the views in silence, which he enjoyed until jimin decided to break it.
"are you okay?" he asked carefully and sat on the seat opposite of jungkook. he hated that question, no one actually cared whether you're alright or not, you're supposed to say 'I'm alright' and move on.
"hm I'm fine" he said quietly, definitely not feeling like having any kind of conversation with jimin. jungkook was not looking at jimin at all, honestly he felt so vulnerable right now that he couldn't bare to look into his eyes.
"uh.. okay I just want to say I'm really sorry" jimin said, fiddling with his fingers as he observed jungkook closely, his facial expressions and features overall.
"yeah you said that earlier" jungkook said as he sipped his coffee.
"I know, but I just want you to know that I never meant to hurt you in any way.." jimin said and he felt really weird to say that since he literally hurts jungkook every day at school.
jungkook sighed a bit, finding the whole sentence amusing, he turned his face to look at jimin's and tried to read if he actually meant it. jimin's face turned a little awkward when jungkook was staring at him for so long.
"okay, well I need to go now" jungkook suddenly said and stood up, not saying a word of why was he staring at jimin. but he was just observing whether jimin was being sincere. "oh are you going to work?" jimin asked, standing up as well.
"no, I need to go and accept my punishment" jungkook said and put his shoes on.
"punishment? for what?" jimin asked, feeling really confused.
"I told you that having a party causes a troubles to me.." jungkook said, giving a small meaningless smile as he left. "no.... fuck!" jimin hit himself on a head, he felt so bad that not even words can explain that. he sat down on the couch, starting to watch netflix on TV. he tried to think of something to make jungkook feel better, but jimin doesn't really know him or anything about him.
—
jungkook went in the vice-rectors office and sat down in front of her. he knew that he was gonna sit in detention the next month, which was stupid since they are already in college, but other option would've been suspension or even expelling. so detention is some sort of labor work, wheater it's helping with some paper stuff, cleaning or picking up trashes, he still would choose that.
"jeon jungkook this is a very unusual for you, will you explain?" the vice-rector said and crossed her arms. "it's simple, I had a party and there was alcohol and drugs. I didn't plan to have that many people in there but you know things just happens" jungkook said and lied for jimin for absolutely no reason.
"okay, but what about park jimin? you said it was his starting and you weren't even there? can you explain this to me?"
"uhm well I think I was drunk. just do what you gotta do and then I can go, okay?" jungkook said. he lied for jimin because he knew jimin didn't wanna have a party, he felt bad for him for some reason unknown. he just had to accept his bad luck in life and move forwards.
"okay thank you jeon jungkook. as you know you'll have a month detention starting on monday after school everyday and other punishment is to organize science books in library and keep it clean for a month after your detention, i know you're an incredible student which is why suspension wouldn't do good so take this as a gift."
"b-but I have my part time job and it's important.." jungkook mumbled.
"I'm sorry but I really cannot do anything about it, you better show up at the detention, or the consequences are far worse." the vice rector said and showed jungkook to go out of his office.
jungkook bowed and stepped out, feeling drained and tired. he was walking back to his dorm and thinking about life. he didn't understand why, he didn't understand why is he there and what is his point. no one likes him, no one understands him and no one respects him at all. he was all alone.
"yah jeon jungkook!"
jungkook slowly turned around to see who is calling him and received a punch. he fell to the ground and it took a while to realize what happened. his nose was bleeding and he got a small bruise under his eye because the person who punched him had a rings on his fingers.
"nice to see you loser"
"leave me alone" jungkook said coldly and stood up.
"oh look who is talking, guess you have grown up. back in high school you were just a quiet little shit with your loser friend." the guys laughed, obviously after high school these guys didn't go anywhere except a karaoke bars and tattoo shops.
"don't." jungkook said and tried to control his emotions.
"awww still a soft spot for that dead guy? wasn't it like you killed him?" the guy with tattoos laughed.
"kim jongin just leave me the fuck alone!" jungkook said and punched him. "don't talk all that bullshit!" he said hitting him again and again, maybe sometimes violence was okay.
"oh did I make little jungkook mad. I'm so scared" jongin said with annoying tone in his voice as he smiled, wiping his bleeding lip.
" just don't talk to me again. " jungkook said and walked away from his high school bully, someone who is up there in control really hates jungkook.
he was almost back at his dorm when he broke down after holding it all in for awhile. "I miss you so so much yuggie.. I'm sorry" jungkook sat down on some random stairs as he let our a few tears. he was barely able to keep his eyes open. he was so tired, bad luck was a shadow behind him and he couldn't get a break from it when the burning sun kept boiling him and sharpening the edges of the shadow. exhaustion was tearing his mind and body apart, after his little mental breakdown, he stood up and walked in to the apartment building. he was in elevator and thinking again about joining yugyeom and his grandma.
yes
but his grandma would be upset, she would never want that. jungkook stepped into the dorm and saw jimin, the last person he wanted to see right now.
"h-hey jungkook-ah.. look I can go and say that you don't need the punishment because it was my fault." jimin said sincerly as he stood next to jungkook who was staring at jimin with emotionless yet tired face. jimin paused for a second as his eyes grew wide.
"wait what happened to your face!?" jimin asked worriedly.
"nothing. and just let it be I took the blame and received the punishment just forget it, it's okay." jungkook said and walked to the kitchen.
"jungkook, please. I don't want you to suffer more because of me." jimin said and walked behind jungkook like a lost puppy.
"well it's not the first time, just don't think about it and forget everything okay?" jungkook said a bit coldly and sat down. he was so tired, his face was hurting and he felt restless. he felt like dying, every part of his body was aching.
"jungkook-ah, what happened to your face? and you look so tired, please go to sleep you need it!" jimin said being sincerely worried about jungkook, he wondered if he always lived like this.
"jimin, what did I just say? don't think about me and go back to the 'jungkook is the worst human alive' I prefer that." jungkook said a bit harshy but jimin didn't take it too personally but he did get frustrated.
"jungkook-ah why are you pushing people away from you?! are you that afraid of socializing with others??" jimin said but immediately felt bad for what he said.
"jimin that is not your business! just don't try to act all nice and pity me." jungkook said and stood up.
"act nice?! do you think that's what I'm doing?! acting nice?!" jimin asked while raising his voice and gave that 'seriously' look to jungkook.
"yes jimin, I know you feel bad about the party and my parents but don't, i'm so used to all that so just leave me alone and stop acting all nice I really don't care and I really don't need it." for the first time jungkook raised his voice to someone, he wasn't yelling but he was frustrated. he stood up to put his shoes on.
"jungkook please understand that I am not acting and I don't pity you! we need to get along since we are living together!" jimin said, walking wherever jungkook was going.
"umm no we don't, you hate me and that's okay. I prefer it that way." jungkook said quietly as he was still putting his shoed on and jimin just stood there.
"geez you are crazy. for real I don't wonder why you don't have any friends.. you are so fucking annoying." jimin said and sat on the couch. he felt frustrated about going back and forth with jungkook so he again, let out some offensive words out.
"uh okay, I guess that's better" jungkook said, he didn't like what jimin said. he didn't want him to be mean to him, just not talking and living their own lives would be good, wasn't it so hard to understand?
"and where are you going now?!" jimin asked all annoyed. "work." the single worded jungkook said as he was about to leave but suddenly felt really dizzy and almost fell to the floor but luckily got to prevent himself from falling and that really alarmed jimin.
"jungkook-ah you need to sleep.." jimin said, feeling worried since he just saw jungkook almost falling and knew very well that he didn't have much energy.
"no I need to earn money, I can't lose my job." jungkook simply said and left again.
jimin laid on the couch and closed his eyes for a second. he really wanted to help jungkook right now, but he doesn't let him. also he makes jimin extremely annoyed. "jungkook is so god damn annoying, but there is something in him. something that makes me believe he is a good person." jimin looked at the ceiling, thought wandering and my mind running.
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very much edited chapter once again-
word count ; 2768