Ari
Not long after John showed up uninvited in my house, my attorney informed me and my parents that the case wasn't going to trial. In fact, the DA decided to drop the charges.
Not only did Danny talk to the assistant DA, but Caitlyn stated she "wasn't sure" I was the one who assaulted her. She then admitted I wasn't the one who raped her. She was raped, but she wasn't sure by whom. I didn't know why she accused me because no one, including Caitlyn could even remember if the rape happened at the party; it could have happened the day before.
While most people assumed I'd be relieved that the charges were dropped and that I was completely exonerated, I was only partly relieved. I'd never get over hearing those words at my arraignment, that accusation, the strip search, and subsequent week in a jail cell. I'd never get over the fact that I was accused of rape.
I was relieved to a certain extent.
Anger and bitterness ate me up. The Collins family put me and my family through hell. I didn't like feeling this way; I was never a vengeful type of guy, but I didn't know any other way to feel other than bitter and hateful.
With all the humiliation, I was reluctant to go back to school and face everyone. It was hard enough going back to work. I had to go back to work because I had to earn as much money as possible before September. My parents got the bail money back, but they'd never get the money back they had to dish out for the lawyer.
Once the charges were finally dropped, Danny sent me text after text. When I didn't respond to his texts, he resorted to phone calls. It was like he thought I'd instantly forgive him and we'd be boyfriends again. He called and texted incessantly, full of apologies, leaving me messages, sobbing and begging for forgiveness. I had to admit I missed hearing his voice. I found myself replaying his messages over and over.
"Ari, I'm so sorry for everything. I love you so much and I'd do anything to get you back," Danny pleaded.
Give me a break, Danny, I thought to myself, but I continued to listen and replay his message.
"What can I do to get you back?" Danny blubbered. "Please call me."
When flowers showed up on the front stoop, I automatically assumed they were for my mother, my dad apologizing for something or other. Maybe it was her birthday or their anniversaries; I never kept track of those things.
"Those are lovely," my mother said, opening the box of roses. "These aren't for me, though." She handed the box back to me. "You didn't read the card."
Come back to me, Ari. Love, Danny
"Would you like me to put them in some water?" she asked.
"I don't know what to do," I said.
"We have plenty of vases," she said. "You just cut off the ends and put them in water."
"No, not that," I said. "I don't know what to do about Danny."
"All I can say is that there are other men—and women—out there," she said.
"Sorry, Mom, I'll never want a woman," I said. "I know there are other men out there. I don't know if I want another man."
"Well, I can't tell you what to do," she said. "I just don't want to see him near this house."
Danny probably would have shown up at the front door if my parents hadn't issued a No-Trespass Order against the entire Collins family, so not one of them could set foot on the property, not even John. Right now John was my only friend, but he wouldn't violate the order by coming over even after I asked him to.
"John didn't do anything wrong," I told my dad a few days before the roses showed up. "He was on my side."
"It's better to just stay away from all of them," my dad said. "If you want to see him, go to school."
"I can't go," I said. "They all think I'm a rapist."
"I'm sure they don't think that," my mother said, attempting to make me feel better. Nothing could make me feel better.
"This fucking sucks," I said, storming up the stairs.
"And don't go over there, either!" my dad shouted to me.
I never planned on setting foot inside their house ever again.
But Danny was desperate. I wasn't sure how long I could let him suffer for his lies. Despite everything, I never stopped caring about him and I didn't want anything bad to happen to him.
I'd often peek out my bedroom window and find Danny sitting on the curb in front of his house. His hair was way shorter, his ears also pierced, which they weren't before. From the distance, I noticed his earrings were black and round. I couldn't see any other detail. I so wanted to touch him again, to be close to him again.
Maybe I could forgive him...someday. Maybe sooner than later.
Bored out of my mind, I was happy to go back to work. There were a few stares and whispers, but mostly everyone was glad to see me back. A few even expressed condolences for everything I'd gone through over the past couple of months. I couldn't believe it had been that long. The court system proved to be much slower than what's shown on TV.
On only my third day back at work, I was stuck closing up the store, along with the manager, Todd Williams. As we left the store, he went one way, I went the other way.
The near empty parking lot seemed even darker on this damp, chilly, drizzly night.
As I headed to my car across the parking lot, I heard a recognizable voice call my name.
"Wait...wait...Ari..." Danny called after me, from the far end of the parking lot.
Knowing Danny, he was probably dressed in all black, so I couldn't see him through the rain and darkness. Hearing his voice and seeing his shadow, I nearly ran to him.
But then my anger re-surfaced and I had an urge to punch him. Maybe all I needed was just one good punch and then my anger would be gone. Physical aggression wasn't really my style, though. Anyway, I didn't want to mess up his pretty face so I kept my distance from him.
"Get the fuck away from me!" I shouted back at him.
"Ari, I'm sorry!" His voice echoed through the parking lot. "Forgive me! I love you..."
"Leave me alone," I replied, tired and eager to go home. "I don't want to talk to you."
I thought about giving him a call in the morning, but I didn't want to talk to him in the dark parking lot at ten o'clock at night. Danny wanted to talk now and didn't seem to care what I thought or how I felt.
"No...wait, Ari, stop. I made a fucking mistake, okay? I'm sorry. I'm fucking sorry. I swear..." he sobbed hysterically as I unlocked my car. His voice grew closer and closer so I knew he wasn't too far away. I started to feel really bad for him. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Ari, I..."
Finally, his pleading and begging got to me and I was about to turn around to go to him, ready to do anything to get him to stop sobbing. He was so upset and distraught I was afraid he was going to go home and do something to himself.
After an unusual, ear-piercing screech in the near empty parking lot, Danny went abruptly silent.
"Oh my God!" a man's voice gasped loudly, so loud everyone in the nearby neighborhood could hear him. "Help! Someone help!"
Leaving my car, I bolted toward the man's voice. Once I got to him, I found Danny on the pavement, a car in front of him. I fell to my knees beside him.
"He jumped out of nowhere," the man said in a panic, holding his phone to his ear. Both his hand and voice shook. "I didn't see him. He's dressed in all black and...yeah, I hit a kid by accident," the man told the 911 dispatcher. "It was an accident..."
"Danny," I said, kneeling beside his unconscious body. He was out cold.
"I didn't see him," the man said as I stared at Danny's lifeless body. "He's all in black and...and..."
Just a few seconds ago, the parking lot was empty, but now a few people circled Danny and I.
If I had only stopped to talk to him...
"Don't touch him," a woman said to me as I went to hug him to me. I hadn't hugged or kissed him in so long. "Wait for the paramedics."
"Danny..." I said, reaching for his hand, but I stopped myself from touching him. I was told not to touch him. In the distance, I could hear the sound of sirens, speeding down the nearby highway. Within minutes the ambulance arrived in addition to the police and firefighters. I had had my share of police officers and detectives over the past few months.
"He...he just wanted to talk to me..." I explained quietly to a police officer although he hadn't even asked me a question. "Is he going to be okay?" I asked them, spotting blood on the pavement. Car headlights and sirens lit up the parking lot.
"He's still breathing," one of the paramedics said.
The paramedics put this thing around Danny's neck in case he had some kind of spinal cord injury; at least that's what I was told.
The officers didn't have much interest in talking to me. They were all about the man who hit him. Practically hysterical, the man could barely speak. As the man went on and on, I
watched the paramedics carefully transfer Danny to a stretcher.
"Can I go with him?" I asked one of the paramedics as he closed the doors.
"You can follow," he answered.
Gripping the steering wheel, I followed the ambulance and it's flashing lights and sirens.
Please don't die, I prayed to any God who was willing to listen. I forgive you. I forgive you. Don't die.