"Go away," Vanar said when I walked over to the pasture that he was in. He kicked at the walls, and I had a feeling he was running around as he did so because of the constant sound of this squishing noise. "You don't belong here."
I held back an eye roll, my heart breaking. "I hope you are kidding, Vanar," I said, my voice rather soft. "I mean, I did come all this way just to see you and bring you some food."
Vanar huffed and walked over to the fence that was separating us. "Why are you back?" he asked, sounding rather tired and annoyed. "I thought you would have just come back another day."
"Is that what they do?" I asked. I hesitated but started to climb up boards, hoping that Vanar would try not to knock me off the boards. I finally made it to the top and leaned my head on my arms as I looked down at him and causing him to look up at me. "They just come once a day, and that is it?"
"Yes," Vanar said. "I thought you would be like them." Bitter disgust filled his voice, and I could tell that he hated it.
"What about Serena?" I asked. "Or, do you scare her enough that she doesn't come over?"
"We get into arguments," Vanar replied. "I don't want her to ruin her cover if she does something different than what Mrs. Treat says to do."
I pursed my lips in disgust at the mention of her name, not even a fan of hers. I understood where he was coming from and hoped that he wouldn't do it to me. I mean, I needed this. I needed him, and I was sure that he needed me as well. "Will you do that to me?" I asked, my voice soft.
Vanar narrowed his eyes at me and snorted. He pawed at the ground, and I had no idea what his answer was going to be. "No," he said finally. "I will not do it to you."
I let out a deep breath and nodded, feeling slightly better. "Good," I said. "Because I really want to get you out of here, out of this pen. I don't think it is a clean place or you to live, and I can tell that you are very protective of the space that you had been provided."
"I am," he said. He bared his teeth at me, and I rolled my eyes. "So, do not come in here."
"Even not to add sugar to your water so you can drink it?" I asked. "Or to add food to your feed bowl? I mean, I think you are hungry."
"I had a meal that you had provided me already. I do not think you have more."
"I am carrying a bag. Are you sure that I don't have more for you?" I asked. "If you don't want it, then that's ok. I'll talk to Serena and see if there is a place for me to store it and maybe as much as my sisters and I can make."
"Why not buy it?" he asked, stopping me from leaving with his question. "That's what they did, buy me food."
"That you can't eat or won't eat," I replied. "Are you saying that you do not like the food we had made for you? I mean, you seemed to have gobbled it all up."
Vanar was silent, and I had no idea if he was going to answer me or not. He shook out his main before walking over to the feed bowl left in, near a place in the wall where it opened so that he could be given some food.
I watched as he skillfully unhooked the bucket from its post and brought it over to me, and dropping it at his feet. "What?" I asked, cocking my head. "What do you want me to do with the bucket?"
"I want the food," was his reply. "But, I would like it to be hooked back up when you give it to me."
A small bit of excitement filled my chest, but I made no move to get into his paddock. "Does that mean you trust me enough to go into the pen with you?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
"Yes," was his reply. "But that does not mean I trust you. You will have to earn that."
I licked my lips and nodded my head, my heart sinking a bit. I knew that my questions would have to remain unanswered for the time being, but I prayed that one day soon, I would be able to get him to trust me enough to tell me. "Ok," I said, finally, swinging my legs over the boards. "I can live with that." And with that, I jumped into the pasture for the first time since I had met him and started to communicate with horses.
I knew that I still had a long way to go to get him to trust me, but I was not going to give up hope. One of these days, I will get him to trust me enough to run everything I know by him and hopefully have him fill in any holes that I was missing to understand this new world I was now a part of.