Snow Carr Northridge.
"Your highness" I heard in my sleep and I snuggled closer into the seat, I really wanted maximum silence.
"Your Highness" I heard again and I groaned internally. Is Ian deaf?, and why is the person calling him so close to me?, they should go bother him, not me.
"Your highness" I heard impatiently for the third time and this time my eyes flew open with anger. What the actual hell?!.
"He's obviously not here if he's not answering, why are you towering over me?, what do you want from me?, what's a girl gotta do to have an uninterrupted sleep?!. I was woken up by 4:30am!, 4 freaking 30am and I just managed to fall asleep about 30 minutes ago and you're bothering me all because of Your Highness, please just go look for him and kindly leave me alone" I ranted and the poor man looked taken aback. I pressed my lips together when I realized what I had done.
"I'm so sorry your highness. I wasn't looking for the Crown Prince ma'am, I am here for you. I wanted to tell you I have the cabin ready and you can go sleep comfortably according to the others of the crown prince." He said and I was confused for a minute before my mouth formed an O and realization hit me in the face like a truck that has failed breaks.
"Oh my God. I'm the your highness isn't it?. I'm so sorry, I...I'm new to all this and I've never been addressed with such title so I didn't realize you were referring to me. I'm soo sorry" I said and he gave me a small smile and his eyes were filled with understanding.
"Shall we go to your cabin?" He asked and I nodded. When I stood up, he curtsied and I almost winced. Oh dear Lord, don't tell me I'm going to have to face this forever.
You won't have to face it forever. It's just till the baby is born and bam!, you're back to the real Snow Carr, without the endearments and titles.
My conscience has a way of making me feel like barging into my mind, dragging it out and beating the McShit out of it.
Once I was in the cabin, I smiled a very very happy smile, the realest smile in a while. I was desperate for sleep, desperate to put my body on something soft and closing my eyes, giving in to the comfort and the warmth of the bed. This is an answered prayer.
"Did you say Ian asked you to do this?" I asked and he nodded. Well, well, who knew the devil could be nice. After he cruelly woke me up from my much desired sleep at the early hours of this morning, he crawled his way to the top of my nemesis list.
I walked towards the bed and immediately I let myself on the bed, I didn't know when I fell asleep. All I know was that immediately my body touched that bed, I was gone!.
___⚾___
I woke up and I was more tired than I was when I slept, my mouth was tasting weird and bitter. What kinda sleep did I sleep just now?
I walked out of the cabin after much deliberation and I saw my dear husband bent over a laptop working as usual. He should have just gotten married to his job. I mean, dude really, this is supposed to be our honeymoon. Any normal couple would have been grateful for that cabin for am entirely different reason and maybe I wouldn't have woken up feeling crappier than I did when I slept.
"You're awake" he said when I took my seat opposite him. Really?, I am?, oh my God!. I would have thought I was sleep walking, duh!.
"Well, captain obvious. You finally got something right" I said and he didn't even look up at me. I missed us. I missed fighting with him, I missed everything I used to do with him but apparently he didn't even care. Who was I kidding?, He clearly made that clear.
"I'm hungry" I said yet he never looked up from his laptop, he was clearly doing a good job of ignoring me and although I'm trying not to let it hurt, I still couldn't shun the pain in my heart. Love is sick.
"Then call one of the attendants" he said with a dismissal tone and I was starting to get angry.
"Why did you marry me if you know you're going to ignore me?" I asked and he looked up for the first time and the way his beauty hit me made my abdominal muscles tighten. Why oh why.
"We both know why" he said and I stood up and ran my hands though my hair, exhaling. I was really trying my hardest not to either slap or jump him right now.
"Stop rubbing the contract in my face, don't make it seem like I was dying and then I begged your mum to draw up this contract. It's a favour dude. I did your mum a favour, this isn't easy for me either. I am doing YOU a favour!" I said and he massaged his temple and acted unaffected but I saw a muscle twitch.
"Talk to me Ian. You can't ignore me forever, I'm not asking you to lay your life at my feet, I'm not even asking you to love me but can you just not treat me like I don't exist. I don't like being ignored, it brings a familiar ache. Can't we just be friends?, is it too much to ask?" I asked and he sighed and looked straight at me.
"Yes Snow. It's too much to ask. If you'll excuse me" He said, carried his laptop and walked away.
___________
Prince Ian Northridge.
I felt like a bully, an idiot and a fool as I walked away from her but I had to, it was either that or kissing her and I had no plans of going down that lane anymore.
Being friends was easy, she's the easiest person in the world to flow with, you could relate with her on every level and never get bored and that was what ruined it all. Familiarity breeds unreasonable emotions that would end up acting as my kryptonite.
I sat on the bed and pinched the bridge of my nose, I was feeling bad for leaving her standing in the middle of a jet and I was fighting the urge to go back but I know that if I should dare to, I would do something I'll definitely regret and this would make my former declaration of un-interest invalid.
I picked up my phone and dialed the number of the only person who knew the state I was in and he picked up on the fourth ring.
"I can't do this" I said and he chuckled over the phone. Best friends sometimes are mistakes.
"Start from the beginning would you?" Cole asked and I sighed and sat on the bed well, my laptop on sleep mode. This would surely take long.
"When I got back from the trip, I told her not too expect anything from me and I defined the relationship, telling her not to expect anything like emotions from me.... I left her standing in the middle of the room like an ass and ever since, we've had little to no conversation except the night of the wedding when she tried to annoy the living daylights out of me...and now I just left her standing in the middle of a jet again when she proposed friendship and I shut her down." I narrated and he exhaled.
"Wow. So?, how do you feel?" He asked and I rolled my eyes, would I be calling him if I felt great?.
"Like an ass Cole, I feel like an ass" I said and I could almost imagine him trying to analyze the situation while playing with his Rubik's cube.
"Then go and apologize. Just because you don't want love in the equation doesn't mean you guys can't be friends. There's nothing wrong with friendship" He said and I shook myself. I thought he would understand but apparently, he just doesn't get it.
"You just don't get it, do you?. I can't Cole. It's safe to say I've got it really bad for her. As much as my heart belongs to someone else, this girl holds some kinda power over my senses. I'm freaking attracted to her man and it took all sorts of self control not to pull her into my arms some minutes ago. You really think apologizing is going to do me good?, I can't even stand seeing her, that's how bad it is" I said and he whistled. I hate him!
"Wow, I'm sorry pal. I wish I could be of help to you. I would have told you to enjoy your married life while it lasts but I know the end would be worse and regrets would flow after. Why don't you try something else?" He said and I raised my brow.
"What's that?"
"Have you tried letting go?, maybe it's high time you got over Serena and give yourself a chance you know?. That way, you can freely be with your wife without having to guard yourself. It's going to make things a lot easier" he said and it was like a very cold blanket dropped over me.
"What are you saying Cole?, you think this is easy for me?, you think I don't want to let things go and let myself fall in love. Snow is amazing goddamnit. She's beautiful and smart and sassy and everything you could ever want but it's like there's a wall, it's like there's a wall in between and I can't even go beyond where I've gone. I've reached the limit. If I'm ever going to give myself to her it would be just my body. I'm sure she doesn't want just a bed buddy, she deserves more than that. I deserve more than that but what can I do?. I'm in love with someone else. I'm in love with a dead woman Cole, it's damn hard to take back what you give to people who are not here anymore." I said and he sighed.
"I'll be praying for you man. I will" he said. That's what he always says when he realizes the situation is beyond human comprehension. I dropped the call and placed my head in my palms. Why must life be so twisted?, what's it with not loving someone yet wanting them?. Can't you just keep your desires for the one you love?.... And why did mum choose Snow, she could have chosen a woman I wouldn't feel anything for, she could have chosen a woman I would pass by and not want to pull against myself, she could have chosen anyone but Snow but no!, life just loved seeing me in compromising situations.
I sat in my room and decided not to come out, I have never in my life hidden from someone but I found myself hiding from Snow, I found myself doing things I naturally wouldn't do,all be.... I stopped in my thoughts when the jet shook and it was accompanied by a scream. My legs developed a brain of their own and ran out before I could even process it and I saw Snow lying on the floor.
"What happened to you?" I asked, reaching her side with the speed of light and bending to hold her in a sitting position. Her eyes looking up at me, the way her face was showing pain and her lower lip was trembling made me feel like someone kicked me in the stomach.
"The...plane, it shook and I was standing so I fell" she said and tears clouded her eyes. How hard did she fall that was enough to make her cry.
"Why were you standing Snow?, it's wrong to stand, the gravity and the wind shakes the plane sometimes. That's why you're always advised to fasten your seatbelt. Where does it hurt?" I asked and she held her ankle.
"Here" she said and all of a sudden, she started crying. Full blown, shoulder shaking tears and I didn't need anyone to tell me her ankle wasn't the one hurting and her hurting heart was all my fault.
I wanted nothing more than to kiss all her tears away, I wanted to sit with her and talk till her bone aches from laughing but I couldn't even do that. I had nothing to offer her.
Sorry for the short chapter.
I had to make out time to write this because of the number of requests that were made.
I'm sorry for the late updates but this is probably the last time I'll update this month. I have exams spanning till the end of the month and I have a lot to read.
Please, bear with me and try to understand that it's not my wish to leave you guys hanging but I have to be wise in my usage of time.
I love you guys so much
Your love is what keeps me going.
________
✔✔