|Truth|
"Se-"
I held my hand up.
"I'm good, just drive." I said shaking my head.
He sighed and pulled out the driveway.
•••
After a silent car ride we pulled up to an apartment complex, it wasn't the best area but it wasn't what I was accustomed too. I honestly was shocked at how normal it was, no crowds of people posted on the steps. Or any zombies around looking for their next fix.
"Come on." He got out the car and I followed suit grabbing my bag, trailing behind him.
We got into the small elevator taking us to the third floor. The building had a fresh smell not like the mildew and pee stench, I was used to when I'd go over to Tejahs complex.
I was lucky in a way to have a house, but it was ran down and old. I kept it up the best I could, even with all the bad memories I had a lot of good ones. It was my childhood home, so I wanted to treat it as such.
We walked down the narrow hall stoping at door 19, he opened the door allowing me to walk in first.
I was speechless, the decor was stunning. So much so that it lead me to believe a female decorated it.
But it still had a very masculine feel.
"This is your place?" I asked confused.
He had ceiling to floor windows and stairs, this was not what I was expecting. It was more so a loft than a apartment, but I knew a 9-5 wasn't paying these bills.
He nodded.
"How are you affording this?"
He laughed.
"I got my ways."
"I know you're not selling no fucking drugs?" I asked.
He shook his head.
"Madukes made me her beneficiary, plus I still work.."
I slowly nodded, feeling dumb.
I heard noises and banging against the wall and we both looked at each other.
"They must of got here before us." He said throwing his keys on the counter.
I shook my head, knowing exactly what he meant.
"If you want we can go upstairs so you can shower and shit."
I nodded my head yes.
I definitely didn't wanna stay down here listening to my best friend have sex.
I followed him up to his room and sat my bag on his bed to get my outfit out. I rummaged through it, finally settling on a two piece set.
"Rags and towels are in the closet, in the bathroom."
"Thank you."
I walked into the bathroom sitting my stuff on the sink as I turned the shower on.
I closed the door and quickly got undressed before putting on my shower cap.
Stepping into the shower I let the scolding hot water rain down on my body, washing away the day.
As bad as I wanted to cry I knew that would be letting her win. So I sucked it up and began washing up.
•••
I wrapped the towel around me and entered the room. Clutching my dirty clothes under my arm, I watched as Khalid was laying on the bed scrolling on his phone.
He looked in my direction and sat up.
"I'm gonna hop in while you get dressed."
I didn't reply, as I searched for the lotion in my bag.
I waited until the door closed to unwrap my towel and began lathering my body.
When I finished moisturizing, I changed into my clothes, and sprayed myself with a couple of sprits of perfume.
I checked my fit in his full body mirror and was satisfied. Some cute and comfy, nothing too major.
I slid my shower cap off letting my hair fall down my back.
I took some pictures and uploaded them to my Twitter.
Plopping on the bed I started tweeting, while I waited for Khalid to return.
15 minutes later he came out, making all the stream exit the bathroom.
He was shirtless with a towel draped across his shoulders, as it stopped the excess water from dripping from his damp curls.
He had on grey joggers that were slightly sagging showing off his Ralph Lauren band.
I pried my eyes away feeling as if I was staring too long. But he didn't seem to notice.
He threw his towel in the hamper and sat on the bed.
I continued to scroll on my phone feeling him staring at me. Knowing exactly what was coming next, I locked my phone and sat it in my lap.
Let's just get this shit over with.
"What Khalid?" I said cutting my eyes at him.
"So we just gonna act like nothing happened?"
"What do you want me to say?"
"What happened to her she-"
"Your moms passing hit her hard, she lost her best friend. Some people cope in different ways, she wasn't strong enough to handle it the right way.. So instead of confiding in me she confided in a bottle.."
"She was trying to mask her pain, and she used liquor as her motivation to face life. It wasn't a problem at first, it started out just a beer, then liquor.. She was so unhappy, I tried to help her but she didn't want help."
"So you selling your body is your way of helping her?"
"Don't you sit here and judge me, I'm sorry I'm not little ms perfect that you were expecting. This is not how I expected my life to be either, all I ever wanted was to make her proud. But when she looks at me she only sees dollar signs, I'm just profit to her."
"She makes you have sex for money? How long has this been going on?" He asked concerned.
A few tears escaped as I tried hard to hold them back. I've taught myself to be so strong that I was disgusted with myself for having this weak moment.
I took a deep breath, collecting my thoughts.
"It started when I turned 13, after I got my first period. My moms boyfriend kept telling me you're a woman now.. you're a woman now.." I said low.
"He came into my room and told me how proud he was of me, and that I was finally going to be able to make my mom happy again. She was so sad... All I wanted was for her to be happy again. He said that I needed to make him happy too..." I said fiddling with my fingers.
"It started out just him.. Then his friends, after that it was complete strangers. But I wanted to make her happy again so no matter how much it destroyed me, I did it. And I kept doing it because I had to provide for us."
"Why didn't you tell anyone?" He asked rubbing my leg.
"I was just a kid.. At the time I didn't really process it.. I knew it was bad, but I didn't want to be the reason my mom was in jail. And I would end up in foster care, I thought I was making her happy. But in reality I was only making her money and the money made her happy.." I paused.
"I tried to leave but I'd always end up coming back because she needed me. So I stayed and I started finding tricks on my own and started making fast money. And I just got used to it." I shrugged.
"You're not doing that shit anymore Seven, you're worth more than a few dollars."
"Don't try to play captain save a hoe now. I was good before you and I'll be fine after you." I said moving him off of me.
"You're not a hoe Seven, you're a victim of your sick ass family. You're not leaving my sight, you can stay here."
"No I'm good, I don't need you. I've been taking care of myself I don't want your sympathy." I said getting my stuff and heading towards the door.
"You think laying up with grown ass men is taking care of yourself? What happens when you spiral out of control? Only two ways out Seven and you know that. This aint a fucking game this is your life." He said on my heels.
"You don't think I know that? What else am I suppose to do? Nobody gives a fuck about me, I gotta take care of me!" I said pointing at myself.
"I care about you! You got me."
I shook my head. "Where have you been? You promised me you'd protect me!! Forever and ever right? You said that you'd never let anything bad happen. You lied! How could you not see that I wasn't the same Khalid? All the signs were there, you were too caught up in fucking Basketball to see that I was empty. You turned your back on me when I needed you the most!" I yelled breaking down.
He grabbed me and pulled me into a tight hug.
"I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.." He whispered in my ear as I sobbed into his chest.
"I needed you..." I said gripping his shirt.
"I know.. I'm here now. I'm not going no where. I gotchu." He said rubbing my back.
*Knock knock*
"Aye y'all good in there?" Solo said knocking on the door.
"Yeah we good, give us a minute." Slim replied.
"Go lay down." He said pulling away.
He had tears in his eyes and I could see the pain in them. In a way I felt so selfish because just as much as I needed him he needed me.
I felt him, I knew that pain. As much as I wanted to lash out and be angry and bitter.. I saw me, I saw all the hurt I suppressed in him. We were both putting our best poker faces on for the world.
But I saw through it.
He turned to walk out but I grabbed his hand.
"Don't leave."
"I don-"
"Please just lay with me.."
"Ight."
I pulled the covers out and climbed into bed, Khalid did the same wrapping his arms around me.
"Is this okay?" He asked looking down at me.
I nodded and laid my head on his chest.
•••
"Slim, Nia downstairs." I heard as I woke up.
I opened my eyes seeing Solo shaking Khalid.
"Chill bruh I'm up." He said pushing solo.
"Nia here bruh and she downstairs trippin."
He smacked his lips.
"Imma be back Ight?"
I nodded.
I sat up and checked my phone. It was 8:00 PM.
"We were sleep for 3 hours?" I mumbled to myself.
I decided to get up and see what all the commotion was. I went in the bathroom and fixed my hair before going downstairs.
I heard the yelling getting louder and louder, while Thugs new album blasted through the speakers.
There was a few ppl already here watching the drama unfold.
"Oh so you was up there laid up with this bitch?" She yelled pointing at me.
I stood at the steps not wanting to get in the mix. I hated drama, and I looked to good to be scrapping over a nigga that ain't mine.
Nia was a girl that went to our school, she was a senior. She didn't like me for whatever reason, and made it her mission to keep Khalid away from me.
But I was under the impression they broke up months ago. Shit even if they were together I would of still fucked him out of spite. But I'm not on that type of time and I'm not a messy bitch. But I could be if I felt disrespected.
"What I do ain't non of yo business, so you can slide." He said moving her out the way.
"You kicking me out Slim forreal?" She said putting her hand on her hip.
"Yeah, and don't slam my door." He poured himself a drink waiting for her to dismiss herself.
She said a few more words before she stormed out slamming the door behind her.
"Didn't I just tell that bitch not to slam my door?" He threw up his hands.
I walked into the kitchen and Tejah ass held a goofy smile.
"Girl! You got these bitches scared SHOOK panicking!" She said sipping her cup.
I laughed along with her.
"What you sipping on?"
"Patron and pineapple you want some?" She asked passing me her cup.
I turned my nose up.
"No imma get my own I don't know what you've been doing with your mouth." I said jokingly.
"Same thing you was just doing with yours." She said side eyeing me.
"For your information, unlike you I didn't fuck him." I said matter of factly.
"I couldn't help it, solo ass bring out the whore in me. I can't believe you didn't give Slim none, I heard he holding!" She said fanning herself.
"Girl shut up before he hear you."
"Hear what?" He said behind me.
I turned around and he had two cups.
"Nothing, is that for me?" I asked eyeing the red cup.
"Yeah, my way of apologizing for Nia." He said passing me the cup.
I grabbed the blunt from his ear.
"Apology accepted." I said giggling.
"Let's go in the room, I'm not tryna have all these folks on my blunt." He whispered in my ear.
I nodded.
"Tej you tryna smoke?" I asked
"Bitch you know I'm tryna smoke." She said looking at me crazy.
•••
Khalid went to go get solo, so me and Tejah went upstairs.
But I made sure to refill my drink first, because my cup was already empty.
I started filling Tejah in on what happened after we left school. And what happened when we got here.
She knew that my mom was a very touchy subject and that it pained me for someone to see her like that.
Especially someone who knew her before the drugs. Truth is I wanted to keep her memory alive, I wanted to preserve the image she once had. When she was full of life, and loving.
"So have you been thinking about it?"
"Not really it just happened, but I'm out here doing me. I don't need someone trying to fix what's not broken."
"I mean, it's not like he's a stranger. I think living here would be good. Take you out the streets, at least for now."
"That's the thing, I'm not complaining. I fuck with my hustle, I only have three regulars and I don't take on new tricks. How am I gonna go from $500-$800 a day to $400 a paycheck. The fuck am I gonna do with that?" I said grabbing the bottle and pouring me another cup.
"Facts.. I'll drink to that I'm not giving up the life for no nigga." She said cheering.
I shook my head, sometimes I wish Tejah never got in the life. She had so much more to offer, but this was the route she wanted to go.
Her situation was similar to mine, only difference is she chose the life. She saw her mom with random men all throughout her childhood and when she was old enough her mom put her on game. After that she never turned back. And I wasn't one to judge.
Her mom was cool though she puts us on to money, and made sure we were safe. I looked at Tejahs mom as my second mom, and she loved me like her own.
"Bitch you might need to slow down." She said laughing.
I was starting to feel the drinks kicking in, I'm not a drinker by any means but I do on occasions. And tonight was one of those nights.
"Girl why solo just texted me, asking are we spending the night?"
"Do I even have a choice, yo ass probably already texted back yes huh?"
We both busted out laughing.
"I owe you one." She said hugging me.
I pushed her off.
"Mhm dick better have been good." I said rolling my eyes.
"Girl he fucked the hell out of me, I feel like a brand new bitch! I'd pay for it." She said nodding.
I laughed until tears came out, this bitch was a nut.
"You laughing now wait till Slim drop that rod on you. Gonna have you walking around cleaning and cooking and shit. Yes daddy, no daddy, ass bitch."
"Bye who said I'd even let him fuck? I'll never be no in house pussy, this hustle don't stop for no nigga." I said scrunching up my face.
"So you wouldn't fuck him?"
"Nope." I said taking another swallow of my drink.
"AND THE LIE DETECTOR SAYS THAT WAS A LIE." She semi yelled.
"Y'all in here having too much fun." Solo said interrupting our conversation.
"We were until y'all came and interrupted." Tejah said playfully rolling her eyes.
"Stop playin wimme before I wear that ass out."
He pulled her to him and gave her a sloppy kiss.
"You good?" Khalid asked me.
I nodded.
He stood next to me, and sparked the blunt.
I watched as he blew the smoke out, and looked at me.
His eyes looked like they were studying me, trying to figure me out like I was a puzzle with a million pieces. And he just couldn't put it together.
"Y'all would be so cute together." Tejah grinned like a Chester cat.
I cut my eyes at her.
"We not on that type of time." I said bluntly.
"Don't do my mans like that shawty, you know he feeling you."
"Bruh just vibe she said what she said, let her stand on that." Khalid said passing me the blunt.
I grabbed it and took a pull. I held it in as I let the high invade my thoughts, tuning out their conversation.
I hit it three more times before passing it along. I felt my phone buzz, quickly glancing my eyes lit up.
Money.
"Ill be back." I quickly dismissed myself before opening the sliding door.
I walked downstairs where it was more people than before. I squeezed through the crowd walking into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water.
Text Message
$: Wya?
I paused before replying.
At my friends
$: Lemme pull up I got $500 for you rn
I thought about it, I needed that money. But there was no way I could leave without being noticed.
I chewed at my bottom lip.
Decisions. Decisions.
"You gonna text him back?" Khalid said scaring the hell out of me.
"Huh?" I said acting clueless.
"That's one of them niggas right?"
I rolled my eyes.
"You're not my nigga Khalid."
"Yeah you know what you right, ion even know why I'm pressing you. Do you." He said walking away.
"Khalid!" I said grabbing his arm.
"What bruh?" He gritted.
"I'm not tryna upset you.. I see you care, I do... But wether you like it or not this is how I get my money."
"I told you I gotchu, you don't need to worry bout that petty ass money. If I got it, you got it, but I'm not finna beg you to want more for yourself."
He pulled out a wad of cash and peeled off $1000.
"I don't need your charity." I shook my head.
"This is me showing you I'm serious when I say I got you." He said passing it to me, I grabbed it and slid it in my pocket.
"H-"
Before I could ask, we heard glass break.
"Man what the fuck?" He said walking into the living room.
"Aye turn the motherfuckin music off!" He yelled.
A few seconds later the music cut off.
"This shit over, y'all don't gotta go home but you gotta get the fuck outta here."
They all started complaining, some walked out, some chanted to turn the music back on.
"Oh y'all don't hear me?" He said pulling out his gun and cocking it, causing everyone to run out.
Was it bad that I was turned on?
•••
We waited until everyone was gone to clean up the glass and cups that was laying around. I was tipsy as hell stumbling all over the place.
Okay maybe I was drunk..
"You good shawty?" He asked chuckling.
"The room is spinning." I whined laying on the couch.
"Bruh take her upstairs she done for, they little asses cant hang." Solo said laughing.
"Come here mama." Khalid said scooping me up bridal style.
He got to the room and put me down. I kept my arms wrapped around his neck.
"Come on Seven, stop playing." He said trying to untangle my arms from around his neck.
He looked down at me and I took the opportunity to kiss him.
He pulled away stopping me.
"Ion wanna take it there."
"Why?" I asked confused.
"Cause you're used to being treated like a object. And you're more than that, I want you to see that. I want you to see what I see, what's on the inside is far more appealing than your physical."
That's was it, this was it. My chance for better, a better outlook, a better life. A change, I needed help I was sinking. But I didn't know that him keeping me a float would lead to him drowning later..
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