Prescott Valley, Arizona
June 29, 2018
-
Casey was feeling a little overwhelmed while they sat down to eat. Sam and Dean had both been sharing various stories with her; about things she'd missed or what had happened in the world within the last two years.
Casey was glad they were trying to catch her up, but she couldn't focus on much. Her mind kept wandering back to being in Hell, and what it had been like there. She was terrified someone, or something, would follow her here and try to take her back.
"Hey," Sam said softly, and Casey looked up. "If this is too much, just say so. We'll stop talking."
"I'm sorry," Casey mumbles. "I'm just really burnt out, I guess."
"Don't apologize," Sam says. "We can catch you up later."
"Yeah," Dean chimes in. "You've literally been to Hell and back, we get it."
Casey laughed; a real, genuine laugh. She had definitely missed Dean's sense of humor.
Sam glares at Dean, who winks at Casey.
"I see you haven't gotten any funnier," Casey jokes, and Dean's smirk fades. "I'm kidding! Don't look so sad."
"I bet there wasn't anyone as charming as me where you were, huh?" Dean teases, and Casey's stomach drops.
There were plenty of Dean's in Hell, and plenty of Sam's. Part of the cruel torture is that none of them were real, and every time she ended up realizing that she really was stuck down there. She had no one with her.
Casey forces a smile, and Sam scolds Dean.
"Did we joke with you when you got back from Hell?" Sam whisper-yells. "Stop talking about it, you're the only one who knows how she feels right now!"
Casey cleared her throat, and Sam looked at her. "It's okay. I have to get through it at some point, right?"
"You just got back," Sam says. "I think tonight has been too much. Dean, why don't you and Cas go get a different motel room? We'll head back to the bunker tomorrow,"
"Sounds good," Dean says, looking at Casey. "I'm sorry, really. But if you ever do wanna talk about it, I'm here. I'm not all jokes, you know."
Casey smiled and nodded towards Dean. "Thank you,"
Dean and Cas grabbed their things and left the motel room, leaving Sam and Casey alone. Casey was staring at the floor, afraid all of this was going to disappear any minute now. That it would all be another part in the cycle of her psychological torture.
"Hey," Sam says, sitting down next to Casey. "What are you thinking about?"
Casey swallows the lump in her throat. "Nothing. It's just weird to be back."
Sam nods slowly. "It's weird having you back. I feel like I'm going to wake up tomorrow and find out all of this was just a dream."
"I know that feeling," Casey says. 'Dream' wasn't the word she would have used, though.
Sam sighed and wrapped his arms around Casey, pulling her into his chest. She took a shaky breath in and closed her eyes, trying to clear her mind for a little. She focused on the soft thump of Sam's heartbeat and the steady sound of his breathing.
They sat there for a while, glad to be in each other's arms again. Eventually, though, Sam spoke up.
"Do you wanna go shower?" Sam asked her. "I can't even imagine the night you've had. I'll find you some clothes and get everything settled for tomorrow."
"Where's the bunker?" Casey asked, thinking back to what Sam had said earlier.
"Kansas," Sam answers. "It's kind of a long story. I'l explain everything when we get there."
Casey nodded, and then stood up. "Come on,"
Sam looked at her, frowning.
"Shower with me," Casey said. "I don't want to be alone."
Sam hesitated for a moment and then nodded, following Casey down the hall of the motel and into the bathroom. Casey looked at Elizabeth and Rosie, who were still fast asleep. She closed the bathroom door gently and Sam started the shower.
They started at each other for a few seconds, until finally Casey let out a small laugh. They had seen each other naked so many times before, but this time was different. Casey ignored the awkwardness and pulled her shirt over her head, tossing it onto the floor.
Sam started undressing, too. Casey stepped into the shower first, relaxing under the warm water. She gently rubbed the dirt off of her arms and chest, and eventually rinsed it out of her hair, too. Sam joined her soon after, and she stared up at him as the water ran down his body.
Sam stared back at her, admiring everything about her. He focused on the little things, like her freckles, or the way she carried herself; the things he had missed most.
"I love you so much," Sam breathed, cupping Casey's face in his hands and bringing his lips onto hers.
Casey kissed him back, her hands finding their way into his hair. She felt like she was in Heaven, just standing there in his arms. She had missed this more than words could describe.
"I love you, too." Casey said, feeling hot tears run down her face.
-
Casey awoke the next morning, her heart pounding and sweat coating her face. She took a few deep breaths in, pieces of her nightmare flashing in her mind. She glanced next to her, seeing Sam sleeping peacefully.
Casey carefully slipped out from under Sam's arms and walked to the motel bathroom, splashing cold water onto her face. She patted her face dry with a towel and stared at her reflection.
She was wearing one of Sam's shirts, which fit like a dress on her. She stared at her wrist in the mirror, running her fingers along the handprint. The skin was shiny, like it was scarred over, and hot to the touch. Casey sighed and walked back over to the bed, gently shaking Sam awake.
He blinked a few times before fully opening his eyes, smiling when he saw Casey. "You're still here,"
She smiled and crawled back into bed, Sam wrapping his arms back around her. "I couldn't sleep."
"Nightmares?" Sam asks, and she nods. "Dean had them, too."
Casey paused for a moment. "What are we supposed to tell the girls?"
"That you're back," Sam shrugged. "I don't think they're really old enough to understand the details."
"I'm scared, Sam." Casey sighs. "What if Elizabeth doesn't remember me? What if Rosie wants nothing to do with me? She was too young to even remember who I am-"
"She knows who you are, Casey." Sam says. "I showed her pictures of you as soon as she would pay attention to me. Her first word was mom,"
Casey felt tears stinging in the corners of her eyes. She let out a small laugh of relief. "Are you serious?"
Sam nods. "Of course. I wanted her to know who her mother was. And don't worry about Elizabeth. She'll be so happy that you're back, she's not going to question anything."
"Thank you," Casey said, looking at Sam. "For keeping your promise. For not pulling away from them. They're lucky to have you as a father."
Sam smiled at her words. "I didn't think I could do it at first. Dean gave me a pretty good kick in the ass, though. Told me what I needed to hear."
Their conversation was interrupted by a light knock at the door, followed by Dean walking in. "I had the other room key,"
Sam and Casey both sat up, and Sam motioned for Dean to be quiet. Dean looked at Elizabeth and Rosie and mouthed the word 'sorry'.
"I'm gonna go load things into the car," Sam says, getting out of bed. "We'll wake the girls up when we're ready to leave."
Casey nodded and got out of bed, grabbing her clothes from yesterday. She shook them out, trying to get some of the dirt off. Sam and Dean left the room, taking some things with them.
Casey pulled her jeans on and tucked in the shirt Sam had given her to sleep in. She grabbed Sam's suitcase from the corner of the room and placed it on the bed, opening it.
She folded her other clothes and placed them inside, grabbing the last of Sam's things and packing those, too. Sam and Dean came back to the room a few moments later.
Dean took Sam's suitcase to the car and Sam crouched down beside the other bed, gently shaking the girls awake. They stirred in their bed for a moment before opening their eyes. Rosie held her arms out towards Sam, and he picked her up.
Elizabeth yawned and she looked around the motel room, noticing Casey. Her brown eyes widened and she opened her mouth, but no words came out. She looked towards Sam, who smiled and gestured towards Casey.
"Mom?"
---
Author's Note// I haven't updated this story in so long, I'm really sorry! I've had really bad writers block for like, months honestly, and I didn't want to force myself to write because I knew I wouldn't be proud of the outcome. I just finished editing Believe Me, so I was feeling inspired again to continue this story after re-reading it all (: thank you for 3k reads, and I promise I'll try to update more often!! I just got a new laptop, so I should be writing a lot more!