I want to love you without clutching, appreciate you without judging, join you without invading, invite you without demanding, leave you without guilt, criticize you without blaming, and help you without insulting. If I can have the same from you, then we can truly meet and enrich each other.
~~ Virginia Satir ~~
Present Day
Mumbai
"He did what?" He asked incredulously, his face twisted as he stared at her. When he had received a call from her a couple of hours ago, he had thought that she would have realized yet another missing part of the puzzle that his sister was. They decided to meet up at his parents' house even though he wanted nothing but to go back to his flat and assure her that it was not anyone's fault but fate had other plans in store for all of them that they overlooked the signs that stared right back at them. But his parents to know, Lavanya had said over the phone.
Lavanya smiled dryly as she nodded, glancing at the door of his bedroom that was left ajar. She could hear faint noises from kitchen where his mother insisted she had a glass of milk while his father was in the study room, busy with his office work. She then turned to face Rohan who was standing at the window, leaning against its frame. "I know it's a shock. I can't believe he's now a major stakeholder and have the authority to make decisions."
She watched ruefully while Rohan shook his head, walking back to her, his shoulders taut and jaw clenched. He plonked on the bed beside her, lines of disbelief itched on his forehead. "Let me get this straight. Half of the board of directors is sold out by Arnav Singh Raizada? Right after Khushi met him? And he goes by some other name?"
She nodded. She could see how difficult it was for him to believe this. She was shocked out of her wits, too. The only solace when she found out the truth about Arnav was that he had everything in his power now and that Karan being the next CEO was no more guaranteed, if the sudden merger had anything to do with Khushi. But after hours of thinking, she couldn't help but wonder and scared at the prospect of him having the unnerving authority over the company. Their current circumstances were not helping either. "I don't think Khushi will ask for such thing even if Arnav is capable of doing it and much more." She voiced her concerns while looking at him. "That leaves us with two options. Arnav wanted to either expand his roots and this is purely a business strategy or, if at all it is because of her, to teach Karan a lesson. Even if it's about expanding, I don't think it's a sheer coincidence. Either way, Khushi plays a major part in his sudden interests."
She watched him, her eyes scanning his closed eyes. The tiredness finally showing its signs on his handsome face while his shoulders slumped with defeat and she knew nothing she would say or do now would help him overcome his guilt. She could see the effort he was putting in to smooth his features, his hand reaching hers just as she knew he would, he looked up at her with a smile that was cold and filled with self-hatred. "I don't even know her anymore, Lavanya. It is like I never knew her and I'm supposed to be her brother, the one who should know her inside out. I failed her terribly."
She shook her head, leaning in, taking his face in between her palms. "You haven't failed, Rohan. I accept that there were many things we wish to undo but all the while we were trying to look out for her. We would have helped her, supported her only if she let us in. Whatever happened all these years was meant to be in that way. Now that we know the nature of her relationship with that boy, man, we'll be there for her."
"That doesn't make me a brother, Lavanya." Rohan retorted angrily. He pulled his hand and walked towards the window, leaning against it as his eyes stared the vast expanse of sky. They could hear the excited screams of the children from the parking lot of the apartment building and cheerful gathering of the families as the air filled with the aroma of chocolate, vanilla and other flavors of cake while everyone around them involved in celebrating Christmas. His shoulders were taut with tension as he thrust his hands into his denim pockets.
There was no way she or Rohan or anyone for that matter would have helped Khushi if her friend didn't allow them. Not all those years ago when Khushi just asked Arnav to leave but never said anything more except to defend him every time her father blamed him for her pain. In all these years, her friend's disinterest in men, love and relationships highlighted the fact that she was simply not interested and that her focus was completely on building her career but never had Lavanya suspected Khushi's reluctance, her refusal.
"You know her," Lavanya tried again, "she wouldn't share her feelings if she didn't..."
"Yes!" Rohan interrupted her as he looked at her, eyes wide with realization. "Of course, he might know." He said but not explaining further, he reached for his mobile, dialing a number while Lavanya stared at him, waiting for something to happen, to make sense.
And it did when she heard him speak to his cousin, his voice strangely composed as he asked if the other man knew anything about his sister's affair.
"Shyam please!" Rohan pleaded desperately, eyes shut painfully as he heard the man from the other end. "So it's true then. She loves him." Rohan asked a minute later, "what about Arnav?"
Another minute passed while Rohan exhaled sharply. The end of the call sounded more like a final fall of a curtain that had been keeping them at bay. Lavanya stared anxiously as he nodded, but stopped as they heard his mother, their gazes turned towards the door to see the elder woman walking in.
"Here, Lavanya." Garima announced with forced cheerfulness, her eyes glancing at her son for a brief second before gazing at her daughter-in-law to-be. "Is everything okay?" She asked softly as she reached Lavanya. "You both are lost in your own thoughts."
Lavanya smiled but looked away. How was she supposed to tell a mother about her daughter? How was she supposed to tell her that the man who, by the looks of it, was crazily in love with her daughter bought the company so that he could show her ex-fiancé his rightful place? How was she supposed to say anything about the happenings around them, about the realizations that dawned upon then twelve years too late, when she herself was not sure?
She looked at Rohan who was still lost in his thoughts. He had always been there for his sister. He had asked many times and on countless occasions about Khushi's happiness. He had, many a times, warned Karan for hurting Khushi and her feelings. Yet, here he was, standing defeated and lifeless after all these years, just like he was twelve years ago.
"We're just... talking... about the baby... future and..." Lavanya tried to speak but stopped mid-way when Rohan chuckled dryly – something she had never seen in all her life. It was cold and cruel as he turned around, his eyes blazing with anger and loathing that directed inwards and unbearable pain. She shook her head, gulping when he looked from her to his mother.
"It's about Khushi." He said, his voice soft but conveyed the urgency. "There's hell lot about her we didn't know, Ma. And it's time we rectify our mistakes."
Lavanya stared at the elder woman while Garima let out an inaudible cry – the anguish of the mother pierced Lavanya's heart just as much it did when realized her best friend's suffering all these years in silence – just as much it did to see the man she was irrevocably in love with, hated himself for something out of his control, even when he wasn't really at fault. What would he, or any of them, do if Khushi never confide in them, opting to suffer in silence? But as she glanced at the man, all she saw was the sheer determination as Rohan strode out of his bedroom and to the living room, calling his father as he did.
"You'll need to make yourself comfortable, Papa. It's going to be long and heart wrenching discussion." Rohan said a while later, his eyes fixed on his father while Shashi nodded in confusion but plopped on the couch with his wife beside him. Rohan then looked at Lavanya and nodded at her, pointing at the opposite couch. He waited for the three to settle down before he joined Lavanya, leaning in with his elbows on his knees.
"Khushi was never in love with Karan." He stated plainly and waited, his eyes fixed on his parents. He sighed. It was going to be difficult to talk with his parents but he knew, at the end of their impromptu meeting, the outcome would be in favor of his sister. He would make sure of it. He would make sure his sister would lead her life with the man she loved from this moment on...
But, Lavanya wondered and not for the first time since she bid her friend goodbye at the airport, was Khushi really at fault for not sharing her feelings for the boy they met? When they lived in a society where such affairs were frowned upon, was Khushi's call to not confide in anyone lest they ridicule it not justified? Wasn't that the only reason for Rohan to never approach her when they both realized they liked each other, waiting till he graduated med school so no one would have a chance to mock at their love?
Wouldn't Lavanya do the same, if at all she was caught kissing Rohan by her father? Wouldn't she do the same if that meant protecting Rohan from her father's wrath? Even more so when her family -- as open and understanding as it was -- still was conservative and closed off to the very idea of their teenage daughter in love?
As she watched her fiancé filling his parents in on the details, adding her own observations and revelations in between, Lavanya realized that her friend had no choice but to protect her memories from being ridiculed. She hoped that the family would now be understanding of their past mistakes and accept Arnav for their daughter.
~~~~~~~
Appearance begets impressions – that was one thing Karan Malhotra learnt at a very young age. And power was what drives the world. Ever since he witnessed the downfall of his father when he was all but a child, he had made very well known of the fact. If one had to succeed in life, to have people around you act as per your orders, then power is what one required. When his mother refused to shelter under her in-law's roof, too strong headed for her own good, he had decided that one day he would stand where his father bowed, he would provide his mother with the materialistic happiness his father failed to, and show his family that he was nothing like his father – that he was not a fool to take his own life just because he was not capable of taking care of the business.
When Chaaya Malhotra did every odd job in the locality to raise her son with basic needs, Karan knew what he wanted in life. And he realized that the status was what he needed to acquire in order to sustain. He could still hear the hooligans' whistles at his mother, invitations thrown by the drunkard landlords and piercing comments from the fellow students. He could still hear laughter from the family who never bothered to look at the deceased son's wife and son. By the age of fifteen, Karan was a force to reckon with. His targets were successful entrepreneurs and well settled job holders. His politeness that came as natural to him as his cunningness that hid beneath the surface of the perfect son of a widowed mother, a perfect student with his outstanding performance – something no one seemed to overlook. He had been the center of attraction wherever he was, be it a social gathering, or an academic event.
At eighteen, he set out on his own way, leaving his mother behind in pursuit of his life. He had been accepted by the top engineering universities; his scholarship never failed to bring that pride grin whenever people, professors and students alike, turned around or talked about. He was the one everyone looked up at, approached to when they were in doubt. In the next four years that followed, Karan Malhotra had been a household name at the university. Parents adored him, friends admired him and girls drooled over him. He had taken up the first job opportunity and worked for the next two years. He had, in this duration, purchased a flat and moved in with his mother. He had proved himself in front of his father's family. He had smiled in content when Chaaya Malhotra was in the position of giving while his father's family was in the position of taking.
But that was not what he dreamed of. He wanted more. And he set out, yet again and pursued his MBA. He wanted to be recognized as the CEO and for that, he had worked hard. He had used his colleagues, subordinates, in the process – but only those who were too level headed to mess up with him or too foolish to see through him. He had everything he had wished for at the end. When his friends suffered in their stupidity by giving in to their hormonal needs and marrying the woman of their dreams only to realize their grave mistake once their perfect illusion of love cracked open to reveal nothing more than opportunists feeding off their affections, Karan was perfectly fine with his path of building a career.
He had become an important part at the consultancy firm. He had been made as one of the board of directors within a couple of years. He had been promoted as the representative of his company, valued his decision and implemented his suggestions.
And everything had changed when he met her. Khushi Gupta.
On one such conference on business developing strategies that he attended, representing the company, there she was on the first row, laughing with a group of her friends. The twinkling in her eyes and the innocence in her smile was what attracted him towards her. Throughout the conference, he had his eyes on her, taking in her slightest movement that itched in his mind. The widening of her eyes, the suppressing of her giggles, and the tip of her pen tapping against her lips as she gazed at the speaker thoughtfully – she was the beauty personified and he found himself, hours later, walking towards her.
What he once believed a foolish act of a man, was no more than an act of love as he approached her.
She had smiled at him, not the smile he was used to from the opposite gender. Her eyes hadn't checked him out as he usually found women doing with unconcealed appreciation. It was as if she hadn't looked at him, except for the knowledge his practical experience offered. Soon, he realized that she was different from others. She was interested in knowing the things, the theories and its working procedure, and how different it would be from academics when applied in practical. The attention he had from her was novel, and he liked it. He liked the way he could spend with her for hours, pouring out his views and influencing hers with his opinions. He liked the way they could be together without the need to converse. He liked the life he had with her – her simplicity, her politeness, her ideas and the benefits they promised.
He didn't realize when he started loving her.
When he approached her father about the same, Shashi Gupta was elated with the prospect of having her married to the handsome, successful, grounded man out there. Karan laughed bitterly as he remembered that evening. He knew she didn't love her. And there were times he wondered if she was in love with someone else, too. Yet, he went his out of way to propose her. He had wanted her parents to be there when he did, because if he wanted her to accept him, it would only be done with her parents around. It was one thing he knew about her – Khushi Gupta would do anything to bring a pride smile on her parents' faces and she would never, ever, do something that would regard as disappointment in her family's dictionary. Why wouldn't he? He loved her and wanted to be with her. Going to any lengths to ensure that was only natural.
But the days following their engagement were the days he got to know her – the real Khushi that had been hidden beneath those polite smiles and friendly discussions. It was the first time in his life that he overlooked someone's views. Khushi was far more career oriented than he believed she was – and a strong, independent individual. It didn't take long for him to realize his mistakes, his confidential judgment. She was not the one who would bow her head for others, even if those were the ones she loved. Her need to please her parents never surpassed her want to be independent. Her focus, her determination and her ideas of expanding the roots of the company threatened his own success.
He tried to restrict her involvement. He tried to influence her, to mold her into his liking. He wanted her to take any decisions with respect to his opinions. But all he had received in return was her level headedness. She never failed to inform him about her plans, yes and her take of the situations. She made sure she informed him about her whereabouts. And that was all she did. She always informed him and never involved him in the decision making. That irked him. While he worked his whole life to be in control, in charge of his destiny, Khushi challenged his very ideals. Yet, all he wanted was for her to love him back, to accept him as her equal.
That, and the way she declared that they wouldn't have any physical relationship till she was ready, keeping him at an arm's distance. Not because he was one horny man -- Karan had his share of women and he wasn't desperate teenager. But it was her reaction every time he stepped closer, her every jump when their arms brushed, her ice cold look whenever he tried to hold her hand that drove him over the edge. As if he was the pervert stalking innocent women! She was his fiancé for god-sake and Khushi saw him as if he was the brute who couldn't keep his hands off other women.
Soon, the cracks in their relationship surfaced in front of others. The woman he had loved turned out to be a stranger. That sweet, loving Khushi, who respected and valued others emotions before hers, broke their engagement after years. She dumped him and flew away from him. If he had been shocked when Mr. Kapoor informed him about the month's leave, Karan hid it with his understanding smile. The fact that the whole office knew about their broken engagement laughed at him cruelly. Now, as his eyes scanned the image of the man on the screen, with a woman so beautiful and sexy in his arms, he knew that Khushi was the reason behind this sudden merger that threatened him being the CEO.
Mr. Salazar and Ms. Lorenzana at an art fundraiser event held in Madrid, November, 2012.
He stared at the caption below the image. He clicked on another link that read about the man's breakup with the said woman. Karan smiled as he stared at the picture. He knew what he had to do in order to have his position secured, to have his plans still intact without being affected by this man, to have Khushi.
He walked out of his cabin and strode down the alley. He glanced at the isolated cubicles at the corner on his way and his smile deepened at the empty seat, where his ex-fiancé's best friend was supposed to be at this hour of the day. The plan in his mind only cemented with the new found information. He pushed the door open after a soft knock and looked at the elder man who looked up at the instant from the files in his hand.
"Mr. Kapoor," he greeted with a slight nod as he crossed the length and plopped in one of the chairs while the elder man placed the file back on the wooden table. "There's something I'm worried about."
"If this is about Mr. Salazar, then let me tell you before you ask. I've had my discussion with the directors and we're going to have our votes in your favor." Mr. Kapoor replied smilingly.
Karan smiled in return. "That's not why I came now." He said as he leaned in, his eyes fixed on the man as he let his plan into action. "I was just wondering about the current state of our office. You know, with the merger thing, everything's going to change. And you do know that first impressions will last longer." He paused, waiting for some kind of sign from the elder man and smiled inwardly when the man nodded, his brows knit in confusion.
"I was just passing by and noticed its state, Mr. Kapoor." He continued after a brief pause. "I must say, I'm very disappointed and with the new chairman on his way to have his first meeting with us, I think it's only fair if we present ourselves in a decent way."
Mr. Kapoor nodded, still confused but trusting the young man. "What is it that you'd noticed now?" He asked thoughtfully.
Karan leaned back in his chair comfortably. There was no way the man would oppose his scheme. "Our employees lack sincerity and diverting their focus on things that are irrelevant to this office and its growth." He shook his head with a dry smile as he continued. "I know everyone has their personal life and we need to balance it with professional life. But that doesn't mean that we have to utilize office hours or apply for long leave of absence without prior notice."
Mr. Kapoor nodded but sighed. "Why do I feel that you're talking about Khushi?" He asked calmly, despite the brows that were still narrowed in thoughtfulness.
Karan let out a groan at the name, as inaudible as it might be. "I don't want to be an asshole by speaking against her vacationing, Mr. Kapoor. I'm happy for her if that's what makes her happy. I don't have any negative feelings for Khushi. I loved her. I still do. I'll love her as long as I'm alive. But now the thing is I'm one of the directors in this office and I need to think about its benefits and not just let one employee go just because I happened to be in love. Look at this, Mr. Kapoor. You granted her a month's leave even when she had submitted five days prior when our rules clearly mentioned that they need to inform us at least a month's prior for a long leave. And you are aware of the problems we faced for the couple of days in her absence. The files, the details, the passwords – she has access to which the others don't and we keep on calling her for every minute detail. Now, with the new chairman coming down in a week's time, do you think we'll be able to manage everything without her? Not only her impromptu leave left us with no other option but to wait for her return as clients refused to have meetings with anyone but her, it is also affecting other employees too. For an instance, Lavanya... she's not in office right now and she's not with any client or office related work. I also noticed Preeti is planning for two days off. And tomorrow, it will be some other person. We have to stop such behavior if we don't want to risk our reputation now, do we?"
He paused, knowing that his words had worked its way to Mr. Kapoor and smiled when the elder man nodded after a brief silence. "I'll let my PA call Lavanya to office right away and also send a mail to Khushi, asking her to resume her work in a day or two. You're right, Karan. We can't encourage such kind of behavior from our employees."
~~~~~~~
Spain
Khushi smiled as she fluttered back to consciousness, the warmth of his body as he held her in his arms and the even breathing that fanned the nape of her neck was everything she ever dreamed about. She sighed in content as she leaned back, snuggling more into him as his arm engulfed hers that sprawled across her stomach and their limbs in a tangled web. The hardness of his jaw as the day's old stubble scratched across the sensitive skin of her shoulder tickling her while their sweaty bodies covered by a velvet duvet.
She turned around in his arms, smiling when he shifted along with her. The disappointment of not having him by her side when she had woken that morning was replaced with the satisfaction of having him with her now. The pale, olive tones of his skin glowed under the morning's rays while thick lashes rested peacefully above his closed eyes. The strong jaw and high cheekbones were relaxed with the shocking waves of hair falling over his forehead. She could stay forever in his arms, she mused with a shy smile, as she pushed herself up slowly, letting her fingers thread through the waves of hair, pushing it back softly.
This was the man she loved for as long as she could remember. They were together for about ten months before parted ways. They hardly knew each other. Even now, after telling him that she loved him, after hearing his love for her, Khushi couldn't help but wonder about him and his life style. It was these thoughts that were occupied in her mind before she stumbled into sleep after their love making. All she knew about him was that he turned his life around and had been successful in the process, and that he had a celebrity girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend, her mind hissed with irritation and Khushi chuckled at her own silliness.
And that was something that started disturbing her as the truth of his world settled down in her mind. He had introduced her to his grandness without flinching at her discomfort. He had snaked his arm around her waist all the while, assuring her that he would be by her side throughout and that he would help her face it, adjust and accept it. Yet, he had allowed her to see it all – giving her the time she required to be comfortable in his world. But... after all he had done with his richness, the grand motor vehicles, if they were to be called that, he had used as their means of transportation, as he had pointed out, he had let down his guard in the next instant. He had sung for her, the same song he had all those years ago to irritate her while walking her back to her house. Wasn't it enough to tell that he hadn't changed after all? That he was the same boy she fell in love with?
As she looked up at him, she couldn't help but shudder at the unwanted thought that had been lingering, tugging at the edges of her mind as she lay on the bed before slipped into small but deep slumber. Arnav worked hard to help his father not only strengthened the roots of their company but also expanded in and around Spain. She had realized how important his presence was to get the works going on without any interruptions. Had she not see it herself, his attempts to clear his plate and spend his time with her? He was a busy man and she knew the implications if he were to stay away from his empire for a couple of hours. She had seen that he couldn't even spend an hour without being called upon by his clients and employees. While she could feel the pride that swelled her heart with his success, she could also feel the reality that laughed at her with its cruelty.
Distance
That had been the hurdle in their relationship. When it took them twelve long years to overcome it, she realized it would be the only thing that threatened them. Yet again. He had a world in Spain and she had hers in India. It would be just impossible for Arnav to leave everything and be with her. And she knew she couldn't be selfish and ask him to leave everything he had built for his family. She had been selfish enough in the past, for thinking about her parents and snatch his happiness. She shut her eyes; the sudden chillness that ran down her spine was nothing to do with the winter's breeze but everything the mere thought of having to stay away from him.
"Stop it." It was a painful whisper and Khushi looked up at him, startled that she might have disturbed his peaceful slumber only to find him staring down at her. "You don't want another round of love making now, do you?"
Khushi gasped at his words while a low rumble reverberated throughout his body, enclosing his arms further tightly around her. She lowered her gaze, realizing that she had been pressing herself against him. Her hands were snaked around his neck and her face was so close to him that their noses were touching. She closed her eyes as he kissed her softly. "I don't mind," she said in an inaudible whisper, "but we need to head back to the island. We were supposed to be there by 7:30. What time is it anyway?"
Arnav let out a soft chuckle as he propped up on his elbow, tugging a strand behind her ear and cupped her face with his thumb caressing her cheek. His eyes were darker than usual, the golden flecks in his orbs were brighter, flames that caught under the sun. "Just past one in the afternoon. I was supposed to attend a conference call at 7:45, which had been taken care of when you were asleep so there's no need to go back just yet." He said nonchalantly.
She shifted and reached out for the duvet, tugging it gently as she propped on her elbow. She nodded as she remembered the disappointment at not finding him beside her after their passionate love making the previous night. "That was why you were not in bed." She remarked thoughtfully, disappointed at her own foolish heart. "You were attending that call. I didn't know you can have the reception in the middle of the sea."
He nodded with a sheepish grin for a second but it was replaced by a serious one. "That," he said quietly, his eyes scanning hers in that intense desperation she had witnessed when she asked him to leave all those years ago, "and there's so much to ponder about."
His tone was a mixer of playful teasing and confused guilt. Khushi stared at him, unable to understand his implications. It was not what she had been expecting to hear. She reached out for him with her free hand, cupping his face as his brows narrowed at her. And then she noticed the hollowness in his eyes. Her heart thudded against her chest as she leaned in, hugging him. After all the things that happened between them, it was the last thing she wanted to deal with – a guilty Arnav. He hugged her back with a painful chuckle as she blinked back the tears that prickled at the back of her eyes.
"I love you." She whispered in his ear, smiling when she didn't chock. "Isn't it enough to start afresh?"
There was a brief, uncomfortable silence from his end that it forced her to pull back from the hug and look at him square in the eye. Slowly, he shook his head. "Not when I was the only one who seemed to enjoy when you were in the same place where I left you."
"I asked you to leave." Khushi snapped with barely controlled anger that it surprised her that she could still feel such irritation for the boy – man – she was in love with. It was as if they were in their teen self again, fighting over some silly reason. "I enjoyed my life too, Arnav. In fact, I was the one to get engaged while you waited for..."
"While I have an active sex life," Arnav retorted as he glared at her. "Khushi, I know that you loved me. But... I never thought you'd never be in any..." he took a deep breath before looking at her as he said. "I'm sorry for not coming to you, Khushi. I'm sorry for waiting all these years for you to make the move. I'm sorry for trying to find comfort in another woman's arms and forcing myself not to reach out for you. I'm sorry for thinking, for believing that you had moved on. I'm sorry for everything I have done, and for everything I haven't."
She suppressed a giggle that threatened her sanity. It was becoming difficult, her mood swings. Why was it that she was angry at one second and amused at the other? Why was it that she was a silly, fierce, unpredictable, emotional freak when she was around this man? She pushed herself into seating position and smiled when he did the same, letting the duvet fall from him so that she could cover herself. "I was never with any man because I was never interested in anything other than thinking about the ways that would make my parents proud." She said a while later, biting her lower lip as she finally voiced her desperate need to seek their approval for everything she did. "I had spent my whole life pleasing them, Arnav, even when they never demanded any such thing from me. They were ordinary middle class parents who wanted the best for their children and always viewed education to be the only tool that would provide us a secured life. They never compared me with Rohan but still I was forced to think that I need to work hard, make sure I break his records. It was nothing to do with their thinking and everything to do with my own shallowness."
Arnav nodded in understanding as she leaned in, resting her head on his shoulder while he side hugged her. "I should have been strong." She continued after a brief pause. "I should have lived my life on my terms. I should have said no without thinking about upsetting my parents. I'm sure they would have understood me if I rejected Karan but I couldn't. I was coward, Arnav. I had been hard with myself that I lost the will to live happily... I didn't dare to hope that you were still in love with me, that you hadn't moved on. And it only intensified when I ran into Sheetal who informed me about your girlfriend..."
He turned to look at her with a jerk, his brows rose in shock. "Khushi," he said hoarsely, "having girlfriend and being in love with her are not same?" He shook his head, disappointed. "I know I had no right to be angry for thinking that I had a girlfriend. I did have lot of them. I don't deny that."
She fiddled with his fingers as she held his gaze. "But why didn't you come for me?" She demanded, the hurt she held within finally finding its release. "You thought I had a boyfriend too, haven't you? And I did have one, anyways."
Arnav nodded with a shrug. "I at least tried to gather information from trusted sources." He said nonchalantly.
She stared at him, surprised at the ease with which he admitted his actions. But that was not what held her attention. "Trusted sources?" She heard herself in a hoarse whisper while Arnav sighed.
"Would it help if I say that I happened to see a picture of you with a man on the devil's Face book page?" He asked plainly. "An intimate pose from ball dance dated April, 2007 with the hundreds of comments wishing the man for finally gathering his courage to ask you to be his date, the devil included?" He added with a good measure.
Khushi blinked rapidly at the information, her brain rattling to remember the photo he was talking about with such ferocity, the date included. Then, Khushi jerked in his arms, stunned with the realization – the reason for him to stay away from her all these years was this?"You thought I was in a relationship with him?" She asked, not caring about the hurt in her voice. "2007? That was the year Aakash asked me to be his date for a party his friends were throwing. Shit, Arnav, you got it all wrong. He was not my boyfriend. And mind you, that was not an intimate pose!"
"His hand on your waist is too intimate, I'd have decapitated him if I was there," Arnav shrugged plainly. "I'm not interested about him now, Señorita. Even if you were in a relationship with him back then, it didn't matter now, did it?"
"Wait a second." Khushi demanded as she straightened herself, facing him. "Let me clear this before I lost my temper, Mr. Miguel Salazar. Yes, Aakash had a crush on me. In fact, there were times when he did say that he loved me but I never had any such feelings for him. I respected him and when he asked to be his date for that evening, I couldn't say no as deep down I knew that it was all I could give to him. And Lavanya didn't share that image on her page but she had been tagged by one of our friends. It had been years since Aakash and I had any contact. In fact, he is now happily engaged to Payal, someone he met on a matrimonial site, you know, Indian version of dating sites."
He pulled her back in his arms with a soft tug at her wrist. "Okay, I get it. I misunderstood that you might have actually felt something for that guy. But my doubts were cemented once your brother confirmed that you did seem happy while talking about him."
"What the...?" She pushed him with a jerk, unable to understand his implications or the turn of events. "My brother? What the hell do you mean by that? Are you in contact with Rohan? That's impossible!"
Arnav barely rolled his eyes with a soft chuckle. "I don't think I'll ever be able to have a cordial relationship with Rohan. I'm talking about Shyam."
She stared at him, stunned to silence. It was all confusing, even more so while he seemed to enjoy the little game he was playing with her, his fingers twirling around her curls. "What?" She asked calmly, holding his hands for support as she draw strength from him. "I don't understand how Shyam fits in this picture. You never met him."
"I did." He replied calmly, smiling at a distinct memory. "Shyam dropped by just before I left India to warn me. He wanted to make sure that I wasn't playing with his sister's feelings. When assured about my intentions being honest, he kind of accepted me as your boyfriend. But he said that it's better to have some distance... to make sure that our feelings were strong enough to last for a life. And come back once I was sure about what I want in life."
Shaking vehemently, she buried her head in her hands. It did sound like Shyam to warn Arnav from ever hurting her. "And he said that I was seeing Aakash?" She asked, surprised that she had energy in her to think clearly after all the shocking information he was confiding.
"He merely said that you sounded cheerful after years. And that you were talking about a guy for the first time since I... but nothing about dating him." Arnav replied nonchalantly. "I was a fool enough to draw the conclusion that you were trying to move on."
Khushi couldn't help but laugh at their foolishness. She had thought he had moved on and he had thought that she had. And the photo and her cousin's words were enough for him to draw the conclusion that was far away from the truth. She looked at him, her brow raised challenging him as she let out a word that asked him all, that demanded answers from him. "And?"
He lowered his eyes as he groaned inwardly; the sheepish grin said it before his words echoed in the otherwise silent cabinet of the yacht, throwing her off-guard, melting her heart and encouraging her hands to circle around his neck, covering his lips with hers in a passionate kiss. "I started dating two months after that."
~~~~~~~
"Merry Christmas, Mr. Salazar, Ma'am." The young woman greeted them with brilliant smile, the light blue irises twinkling with a known glint. She extended her hand, handing over a key to Arnav while her other hand smoothed the pristine apron over a blue shirt and a black pencil skirt that ended at her mid-thighs. Her blond hair was pulled up in a high pony, her eyes round in her face as a faint rose color tinted her cheeks, and her smiles were directed to him.
Khushi stared at the woman with an amused smile while Julie led the way into the resort as they reached an Island from where they had taken off into the middle of the sea the previous night. She glanced to her right and chuckled when Arnav rolled his eyes at her. He had been irritated when she suggested going back and resuming the day after their impromptu declaration of their past relationships. The low grumble of her stomach helped her convince him and for once, she was famished and wanted to have the first meal of the day – the first day of their forever.
"Is it Christmas already?" Khushi asked in chirped voice, allowing him to help her shrug off her jacket as she slid into the chair that he pulled out. The air was filled with celebrations as the breakfast lounge was slightly crowded with the resorts' authorities. She glanced around the lounge and realized, not surprisingly, that they were the only guests on the small island, except for Parker who was now pacing a few feet away.
She turned away, fixing her gaze on him who was talking to the young woman with a smile that reduced his age by a couple of years with its brilliance. She could feel the surprise in the blue orbs as the woman stared at her for more than politeness required before turning away, flushed. Khushi stared at them with a raised brow, the woman trying to avoid looking at her and concentrate on what Arnav was saying.
"Yes, it is Christmas already." Arnav said with a soft smile, his hand reaching out for hers on the wooden table, their hands interlocking as he leaned in. "Surprisingly, it seemed to be the only festival that we actually celebrated together, be it a school library or a small island."
Khushi laughed at the memory just as Julie came back to the table, now with two men about same age with a trolley each filled with several dishes she hadn't tasted during her stay in Seville the past couple of days, the amounts of food could easily cater luxurious Indian Wedding. She raised a brow at him while Arnav shrugged nonchalantly and nodded at them to leave. "Are we going to dine with a dozen people with us?" She asked teasingly while he placed a plate filled with Tapas.
"Chorizo wrapped in bacon," Arnav filled in as he served a piece in their plates with a childish excitement, "one of the best tapas and my personal favorite. And here comes Huevos Rotos," he said pointing at another plate that looked like egg yolk spread along with fried potato chips and a dark sauce.
She had always known him as a food lover. But to have a glimpse of just how irrevocably he was in love with his Spanish roots was thrilling. She had a visibly small bite, savoring its sweetness with a pinch of smokiness that made her close her eyes. Her smile deepened at her own excitement as she stared at the other plate he had pointed at, her eyes scanning while her mind gathered every minute detail the plate presented. "Huevos Rotos? As in, kind of omelet with potatoes and sauce?" She asked softly to which he chuckled with a shake.
Arnav smirked at her, his eyes glittered under the pale yellow light that illuminated the room through its floor-to-ceiling glass curtains. "And there's Gambas Ajillo, Garlic Prawns, which can be either served as Tapas or main course. Paella is one of the traditional rice dishes. You've to taste Sea Paella, if you're not interested in Rabbit meat. It is also being termed as a romantic dish. We'll try it out once the summer's here."
Khushi stared at him as Arnav pointed at each of the bowls and plates while giving her an insight. The twinkling in his dark brown irises was so bright that it almost looked like black – something she never noticed. He was not the man the world knew him as. He was a lost boy who wished for a lover's embrace. A boy from whom fate had cruelly snatched his mother's love. He was that same teenager she had seen on this day twelve years ago – the boy who gifted her one of his mother's possessions.
"Do you have a busy day ahead?" She asked once Arnav was done with his food-guide. "I don't think you're the types to spend the whole day with Mr. Salazar and Nic. If that's the case," she pointed her finger as she ordered in a serious tone, "that's going to change from this day, Arnav. I want you to spend with your family."
Arnav nodded without second thoughts as he promised in return. "That's going to change, yes. But the problem is, I hate the sound of your "Mr. Salazar". He's not that old. I'm sure he prefers Frenzy."
She rolled her eyes as they had their breakfast in companionable silence in the next few minutes. She notice the way he had skipped from answering about his day but she pushed it away. If she were to be honest with herself, she could tell that he had planned something for her, or that he might have canceled his previous plans which included, owing to his status, few parties. It was just like their first meeting. Hadn't she asked about his nature of work while they were having lunch? It had only been four days since she met him and it seemed like they had spent eons together. Khushi shook her head as she smiled. If this was the effect he had on her in this short span of togetherness, she wondered about her condition in future.
"I need to make a couple of calls." She informed gingerly, letting the small voice in her mind remind her of the decision she had made – a decision that was going to change her whole life, and for good. She pushed her plate aside and looked up at him. "I'll back in a while."
Arnav let his eyes scan her face for a brief second before nodding while extending his mobile. "I have something to discuss with Parker." He stated and kissed her forehead as he whispered. "I love you."
She smiled softly and watched his retreating back as he walked towards the porch.
Khushi sighed and looked around her. The lounge was calm and she had no audience. She could see Julie and the men in the room behind the counter. She was alone and she had a task at hand. Taking another deep breath, she dialed the number, her eyes widened in surprise at the name that displayed when she pressed the caller button.
Jackass
She fixed her gaze on Arnav while he immersed in a conversation with Parker, with his back towards her. She drummed her fingers on the wooden table as she waited patiently for the person to answer the call, and let out a cry in shock at the greetings from the other end, that made her realize just how cordial relationship her boyfriend had with her...
"Miggy," the deep voice filtered from the other end and Khushi clutched it as she closed her eyes with frustration for hiding from her.
"No, it's his girlfriend." She hissed under her breath and waited, the silence screamed confusion before it turned into a shocking grin.
"Is that you, Sweetie?" She heard her cousin's honey dipped voice that generally soothed her. "When did you go to Spain?"
Khushi controlled the urge not to grab a plate and throw it at her boyfriend who seemed to forget her presence as he was now talking over phone with, as she guessed, his trusted employees. "When did you meet him, Shyam?" She asked plainly. "And why didn't you tell me about that?"
Her cousin laughed against the sounds that were now fading at his background. "Don't mind the sounds. I'm at fields." He remarked with a dry chuckle and continued. "You tell me. How come you're with Arnav?"
"Shyam." She hissed as she fisted her palm. "I'm not in a mood to have a friendly chat. I've something to do but before that, I just wanted you to know that I'm now aware of your secret friendship. I can't believe you're in contact with Arnav all these years and that you'd said that I was actually happy with Aakash."
"Aakash?" Shyam asked sounding confused. "That senior guy who asked you to be his date for..."
"Yes." Khushi replied mid-way. She waited for him to speak and when he did, his voice was friendly yet but teasing with mild annoyance.
"Firstly, I met him after we returned back to Mumbai that summer. I wanted to see for myself after watching you head over heals for him. When we met, I decided to be friends with him. We were on the same wavelength, the passion we had for our dreams helped us have a friendship I never imagined I would with my sister's boyfriend. It turned out, as time passed, that we are two individuals who loved the company the other man offered and the thread that actually tied us together, you, had vanished in thin air. He never asked me about you except when he was drunk, that was another thing he really should change. But I like him. My friendship with him has nothing to do with you so I don't think it is necessary for me to introduce you to each of my friends."
Khushi stared at Arnav as she heard her cousin. It was probably the longest speech Shyam had with anyone about another person. "And about that date guy..." Shyam continued without pausing, "I merely said that he was the first guy you actually talked about after Arnav left. He was a fool to conclude that you were interested in that senior of yours. And you were a fool to think that he had moved on. I can help you guys reach out your loved ones but I'm not about to slap you and show you the reality. Khushi, I wanted you guys to realize your feelings and fight for your love. If you were not willing to take the risk, then I'm sorry to say this, I'd react the same way all over again. I mean, it's your love, your problem."
She took yet another breath, knowing that whatever he was saying was what they had been, fools enough to believe in something based on false assumptions and insecurities and not in something they shared. "I called you to let you know that I'm done being the fool that I was." She said with a smile, and heard a sharp intake of breath from the other end. "Yes, Bhai. Arnav and I are together now and I'm going to shift my base here. I'm coming back to India, tell Ma and Papa that I love Arnav and then come back to Spain. I'll take some time to find a job here, I know, but eventually I'll get one and have my life back on its track."
There was a brief silence before Shyam chuckled. "That sounds like a sensible plan, Sweetie. I'm happy for you. But I must warn you. Don't you dare screw it up for anyone, okay? Tell Miggy to call me, will you?"
Khushi chuckled at the warning but nodded. "I'll never screw it again. And yeah, I'll."
After few more minutes of brotherly warnings from her cousin and sharing further details of her plan, Khushi disconnected the call, feeling more relaxed than she had ever been in all her life. She was content with her life after making it a living hell and now she was not going to let anything disturb the peace. Not even herself. She looked up at the porch to find it empty and walked towards the entrance door to find Arnav seated at one of the coffee tables along the shore with his laptop in front, typing furiously. Khushi rolled her eyes and leaned against the door as she made the second call. This was going to be slightly crazy, she thought with a low chuckle and lot more dramatic than the first call.
"La," she said as soon as she heard her friend's voice, "it's me..."
"Where the hell are you, Khushi?" Lavanya screeched her voice shrill with concern. "I have been trying to call you to your temporary number for the past three days but all I had in return is concern. I know you met Arnav, I heard him over phone but that was it. You should have at least let us know where you are staying and the contact details. We were worried."
Khushi couldn't help but flinch in guilt – for not calling her friend ever since she met Arnav – for not telling about her love to Lavanya who had always been understanding and supportive. It was just; Khushi closed her eyes as she fisted the sides of her long skirt. Arnav was way too personal and she never wanted anyone know about him and their memories. Not even Lavanya.
"Allow me to apologize, milady." Khushi said playfully, knowing that it would calm her friend and give her a chance to speak. When she was greeted with impatient silence from the other end, Khushi cleared her throat. "I'm sorry for not calling you, La. It's just that I was busy in catching up with Arnav and... too involved in my own muddled thoughts that had to be cleared."
She could imagine Lavanya nodding while she was seated in her cubicle. She could also see her teammates gathering around her for the information. "I was just worried." Lavanya said in a whisper. "So, how is he, K? The same arrogant brat? Or has he changed at all?"
Khushi considered the question for a while, unable to decide whether to tell her just how much Arnav had changed, succeeded. She shook her head in the next instant. It was better she confessed the truth of her life when she faced her friend, and not over an international phone. "If you meant about his appearance," she teased instead, "I must say Rohan is in deep trouble, La. And if you meant about his personality, then I must again say that Rohan is still in deep trouble."
Lavanya laughed along with her. "Then its good thing, K. And no, I don't think Rohan is in trouble. In fact, if you ask me, he's on his new mission. I know I should not disclose the happenings here and spoil your holiday but... I think it's for your best, Khushi. Rohan informed your parents that you were never in love with Karan."
It should have shocked her, Khushi thought absently. It should have alerted her. But all she felt was relief washing over her senses. She let out a breath she didn't realize holding. "I'm not going to ask you how you knew that I never loved him." She said calmly as she watched Arnav as he leaned back in his seat, his eyes arresting hers, a content smile dancing on his lips. "I'm too happy to spoil my mood with anything now, La. But now that you've mentioned, there's something I needed to talk to you about... the reason I called you at this hour."
"Oh," Lavanya waited for her to speak which Khushi did eventually.
"These past few days that I was away from everything, I happened to view the way I led my life. While I don't regret the way it was, there were few moments I did wish I acted differently. I don't have anyone to blame but myself, Lavanya. Even with Karan... it was me more than it was him, the reason for our failed relationship. Because I never was interested in him in that way and well, I never did try to make it work for my own reasons. I'm not sure if it would have worked if Karan is little more considerate and understanding or if I should have been understanding of his feelings. I don't want to think about that too. But one thing I'm sure. Even if he is everything I ever needed in my life, he is not the one I longed for." Khushi pushed away the unwanted tear that threatened to escape the corner of her eye as she took a deep breath. "I wish I had been strong enough to reject his proposal. I wish I did not cause such pain to you all with my stained relationship. But now... everything's clear, Lavanya. And I have decided that I don't want to work there anymore. There's no reason for me to stay there."
"What?" Lavanya asked, her voice laced with confusion.
Khushi smiled as she pushed the door open and stepped into the porch, letting the winter breeze caress her face and hair. "I'm going to email my resignation, La. And I'm going to confess everything once I'm back. Then, once you're married, I'll come back to Spain. I'm going to settle down in Seville. Or Madrid. Whichever it is that I'm supposed to be."
There was a brief pause before she heard her friend's voice, understanding and playful, filtering through the other end. "Is this something to do with Raizada?"
Khushi lowered her eyes as she halted in her path. "Yes." She whispered, letting the word linger between them.
"Wow!" Lavanya screamed excitedly. Khushi could imagine her jumping up and down with happiness. She could hear her friend's shouts before they subsided and faded away. "Can I ask something?" Lavanya asked dubiously. "I tried to search for him on Face Book, twitter and everything I can think of, you know, when I couldn't reach you. I mean, does he not have any social networking account?"
Khushi chuckled at her craziness and said flatly. "You might have searched for him by the name he was referred to in high school."
"Means? He is not Arnav Singh Raizada?" Lavanya muffled in a whisper to which Khushi just shrugged.
If she was going to let her family know about her love life, and if it was just matter of time for her to introduce Arnav to her family, she should as well start it with her best friend. "Actually, no." She said as calmly as she could, hoping that the revelation – the fact that none in their high school actually know the boy's name – wouldn't send Lavanya into shock. "It's Miguel... Miguel Arnav Salazar. Raizada is his mother's maiden name."
~~~~~~~
A/N: Here's another update. It's exciting to go back and read this story again. Hope you're enjoying this as much I'm. Do vote and Comment...