The only thing that was on my mind the rest of the trip was Hazel. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't get her out of my head. All I wanted was to see her smile one last time. To see her face light up like it always did when she talked about her hobbies. I just wanted to see her again, then maybe this wouldn't be so hard.
For some reason it feels as if my heart was slowly breaking. In just a short time I had lost everything. But I was determined to gain my real life back.
I am sick of hiding behind my fake life, the life that made me more upset than happy, the life that had turned me into a drunk, the life that turned me into my father.
I hated my father. He never supported me and he disowned me the second I didn't do what he wanted. He cut all ties with me and forced my mom to do the same. All he ever does is pick fights with me.
I stare at my parents house from my car. I hadn't been here in so long. Nobody knew I was here I could very easily turn around and leave. Nobody would miss me. But I would be letting Gigi down. I couldn't do that again.
After taking a deep breath, I step out of my car and head up to the front door. I don't have time to give myself a pep talk before the door swings open.
"Well well well. You actually decided to show up." My dad says crossing his arms.
"You do know that the party started over an hour ago. Why did you even bother to come?"
I open my mouth to respond but am interrupted by Gigi coming to the door.
"Dad are you ready-"
Her eyes widen when she sees me.
"Oh Nicky!" She screams as she throws herself into my arms and squeezes the breath out of me.
"Hi Gigi"
"I can't believe you came! Isabelle said you weren't gonna show!"
Gigi releases me and beams at me.
"Yeah well Izzy doesn't know shit"
"Watch your mouth Nicky! There will be no swearing at my birthday party!"
"The party is over Gracie" my dad scoffs.
Gigi sends a glare in his direction.
"Didn't you come outside to check on the horses or something?"
My dad rolls his eyes before stalking away from my sister.
Gigi smiles at me and grabs my hand before pulling me into the dining room.
"Guys look who is here!" She squeals as we enter the packed room.
Ten pairs of eyes look in my direction. I was so uncomfortable. I manage a small smile as I head to a empty seat, but I'm stopped in my tracks and my smile drops as I see those familiar hazel eyes.
Her eyes widen and her face falls when she sees me. Jordyn looks between her and I before leaning over and whispering in her ear.
I felt my blood boil seeing them like that.
"Nicky?" Gigi's voice pulls me back.
"Huh?"
"I said take a seat next to Daniel"
I look at Hazel one last time before sitting down next to my brother in law.
"Hey man, long time no see" Daniel says as I plonk down next to him.
"Yeah it's been awhile" I mumble.
"Where have you been? Gigi's missed you."
"I've been avoiding my dad" I say quietly.
Daniel nods in understanding as Gigi takes a seat on his other side.
"We'll have to get together after dinner and talk" he says.
I nod my head briefly before looking back at Hazel.
She looked stunning in her navy shirt and black jacket. Her hair was framing her face just right and the lighting made her look ten times more beautiful.
I watch as she scoops mashed potatoes onto her sons plate. She had a huge smile on her face as she talked to him about something. When her eyes meet mine, she stares at me for a moment before dropping her gaze to her plate.
Movement from the corner of the room catches my attention as my father walks back inside.
He takes his seat at the head of the table and crosses his arms over his chest.
"So Nicky this is Hazel, she's Jordyn's friend." Gigi says to me.
I turn my attention back to Hazel who is watching me with wide eyes. Was she expecting me to say something to Gigi? Or did she want me to pretend I didn't know her?
"Mommy already knows him" her son pipes up.
My head whips in his direction.
"He's the mean man from the dinner Gigi"
Before I can protest or say anything my dad pipes up.
"I'm sure dinner means different things to kids."
"What is that supposed to mean?" I ask him.
"I mean she's probably just another slut that you banged and this kid doesn't know that you screwed his mom."
Hazel's jaw drops.
My mom gasps.
And Gigi scolds him.
I felt my hands clenching into fists under the table.
"What? That's what he does. Finds some desperate girl and screws her brains out and then dumps her like the trash she is. This one is no different." He says pointing his fork towards Hazel.
"Don't talk about her like that" I say through clenched teeth.
"Why? I'm just stating facts. That's the only thing you're good at anyway."
"Lawrence!" My mom scolds.
"No let him finish. I wanna hear what he has to say."
My mom puts her head in her hands and everyone adverts their eyes.
"I got a call from Jeremy Johnson. He told me that you lost the company. That he sold it to Shaw because you failed to take care of it. I mean come on Nicolas. Derik Shaw of all people? You could've prevented it if you had just kept yourself in check"
"Oh really? That rich coming from you! I may screw half of the female population but at least they all are single and willing!"
"Shut your mouth!" My dad snaps
"I'm just like you. It's no wonder you hate me so much. All you see is yourself"
"You're right. I do see myself. A lazy, amateur, incompetent, childish, stupid, version of myself. You can't even keep a company running Nicolas. You fail at everything. You're worthless, useless and you wont amount to anything"
His words sting me. I knew he was right but I didn't expect him to say that in front of everyone. My last ounce of respect for that man left as the words left his lips. If that's how he truly felt there was no need for me to be here.
Without another word I stand up and leave the room ignoring the calls of my sister and mother.
I slam the door to my old bedroom and go on a rampage.
I pick up my trophies and throw them against the wall. Family pictures are smashed against the floor. My anger is getting the better of me. The pain from my fist going through the wall is numbed by the pain in my heart.
As I let my dads words sink in I realize just how right he was.