"Shoot her!" My father's voice boomed out.
"Sir?" A kid's shocked voice responded.
"I gave you a direct order. I don't know how much clearer I can be." My father said, irritation oozing out. A shot rang out into the silent night, pain radiated in my right thigh inches above my kneecap. I bite my tongue to hold in my cries and force my eyes to stare unmoving at the sparkling night sky. The moon was far behind me and not for the first time tonight. I wish I could catch just a small glimpse of it. My fingers begin to curl and uncurl against the burning silver against my flesh, holding me to the pole.
Rica, I need a distraction I mutter when I feel I might pass out from the pain. Suddenly images of the world begin to flash through my head. Pictures from my books tucked away under my small mattress. Memories of lives I have never lived, colorful food and faces transport me to another world and away from the pain radiating throughout my body.
Let me help, Anala Rica, my wolf, begs erasing the pain-free images and replacing them with her thoughts of my father lying cold and dead on top of piles of bodies.
Ulrica, I will never do that. I harshly say, using her full name. I feel her annoyance hit me like a tidal pool and quickly shrug off the guilt it brought.
"Not bad kid, now aim a little lower. Yes! Aim for her knees if she can't walk, she can't fight." My father approves.
Wanna bet, es stercus!" Ulrica growled in my head, and I wrinkle my nose. [Es stercus - Latin for 'you shit']
Another shot sounded, and I feel my left kneecap explode, searing white pain makes me breathe in a soft gasp. I quickly grit my teeth already fearing the worst.
SHIT! BITCH! YOU UNMUZZLED ONION-EYED GIGLET! Ulrica growls, and I lose myself in the many other choice words she sprouts. I blink hard but continue to stare at the sky.
"That's my man, Jaime!" My father laughs, pride in his voice, "I told you we would get your straightened out in no time, right?" He asked, and the kid, Jaime, laughs in delight, and I let out a small sigh of relief.
He didn't hear my slip up I think to Rica
"Can I try again?" Jamie eagerly asked, and I couldn't help but wince. I wanted to beg for them to stop to give me a little bit more time to heal before the morning comes. But I know that it won't help. If I let any sound escape, there would be no question I would spend a night in the cell. No question about the amount of pain I would receive above all of this training.
Just shoot me in the head ...please I whimper softly to myself. But even I could tell that was a lie. I don't want death, not really.
"I don't see why not?" My father bursts. My heart falls deep in my stomach, I brace myself for another shot to ring out, but it's replaced with an empty CLICK. I jerk my eyes to the two men two miles away from me. They both glance at the gun and my father chuckles.
"You should always keep track of how many bullets you have." He playfully scolded, and I could see a tinge of red sprout on the young boy's cheeks in the pale moonlight. He mutters a pitiful 'sorry' and goes to the table behind them, littered with all types of guns and bullets.
"I think that's enough target practice for today." A smooth, husky voice chuckles, the two men jerk their head to the side. I keep my eyes trained on the boy, his hand inches away from another magazine loaded with fresh bullets. Xander, the Alpha's son, comes into view and he places a hand on Jamie's shoulder.
"Your mom is looking for you. She's grumbling on about movie nights." Xander jokes, and Jamie's face instantly morphs into a look of horror.
"Oh, crap! I forgot mom wanted to start another family tradition! Shoot!" He slaps his hand to his forehead.
Just a little bit harder Rica urged Just enough to knock yourself out you little twit. She growls, and I roll my eyes, mentally.
Jamie looks over to my father, and he nods his head, and Jamie drops the gun on the table and sprints towards the pack house. The men watch the boy duck into the house before looking back towards each other.
"Dad's looking for you," Xander says, his voice now serious. My father jerks his gaze towards me, and I quickly lower my eyes to his feet, earning a growl from Ulrica.
Look him in the eyes She commands, but I hold my gaze to my father's muddy shoes.
"Dad says it's urgent. I'll take care of her. " Xander assures my father. He grunts his disapproval before he begins walking towards me. I force myself to keep my eyes trained on the ground. In a matter of seconds, his hot breath is on my neck, and I see his hand holding another gun. He points the weapon at my other knee and pulls the trigger. I shut my eyes tightly and fall to the ground, my legs finally giving out.
"Don't think I didn't hear that weak little gasp." My father growls, crouching down in front of me. He jerks my head up by my hair and growls in my face.
"You earned another night without food." He spits and slams my head against the pole. This time the breath catches in my throat, and I choke it back.
"Beta Keone." Xander warns in a dark tone, "My father, your Alpha, is requesting your presence." He formally says. My father gives a quiet growl and stands up. Without another glance to Xander or I, he stalks away. I release the breath I was holding. I hear shuffling in front of me and force my eyes back on the last threat.
Now when he gets closer, you lunge for him, kill him, and run. Ulrica said, already imagining me sticking my hands in his hazel eyes. I move my eyes away from his and look at his hands covered in leather gloves. I struggle to move my body so I could get into a sitting position, but none of my limbs responded. I could feel my stomach gnaw at my insides too starved to growl, and suddenly, I feel the urge to puke. I start to dry heave and feel spit cover the ground and my face.
How long has it been since we last ate? I ask Rica, and we both search our memories, but neither of us could remember. I continue to dry heave until I feel a soft hand start to pat my back in a soothing gesture. My eyes shoot open to see Xander concentrating on the handcuffs, holding my hands to the pole.
He looks down at me and notices my eyes staring up at him. He quickly moves his hand, and with a final twist releases my hands. They fall, limp, at my side. Xander rolls me over, and suddenly, the pressure on my legs vanish. He faces me towards the pole, trying to see where else I have been shot. I look up and finally for the first time tonight, see the moon. I held in my gasp of delight, but I could feel Xander's eyes on my face as I stare up at the beautiful sky. The moonlight was like a diffused ocean above us, lessening the inky blackness of the night, but it didn't seem to be too bright as to overshadow the stars that speckled and glittered in the cloudless sky above. For a moment I could forget about the pain. For a second, I could remember the feel of grass underneath my paws.
Isn't it beautiful? I wish i could turn into one of those stars. I wish that I can fly away from this pain. I want to stay out here all night, I want to stare at this endless ocean sky.
How long has it been since I let Ulrica out to run? When was the last time I howled to the Moon Goddess? Sing her my prayers of finding my mate so I could leave this nightmare I call my pack. I wanted to throw my head back now, but I hold my cries back.
It's been too long Ulrica answered for me, feeling the same needs as I did. Xander digs his fingers into my flesh to dig out all the bullets lodged inside muscle and bone, but I don't feel it this time. My longing to run and howl was too much pain for my mind, and it couldn't handle anything anymore. When Xander finished, gently, he picks me up and places me on his shoulder. I angle my head just enough to continue to stare at the moon, longing for that freedom until we enter the house. I let my head fall and don't register when he pulls the ladder down to my attic. Xander climbs the stairs and pushes me inside, dumping me on the floor before closing the door. I listen for Xander to lock the door before I drag myself across the floor to the small corner to my bed. I look out the small cracked window and search again for the moon.
Please, I pray I wish for my mate. I think before I pass out.
A little girl is playing in the lake, bright red hair, pale skin, sparkling blue eyes. She's a giggling mess as she splashes water at her brothers who are teaming up against her. They pick her up and dump her into the water. The girl comes up for air, and the children continue to splash around. The sky is blue with specks of white clouds. The sun is shining so bright everything looks picture perfect. On dry land, a mother looks at her kids playing, enjoying the beautiful spring weather. The mother lifts her head to the sky and gives a happy sigh. Everything is calm; everything is okay. This is my dream; it's going to come to the ripping and mauling of my mother soon. That memory is going to happen... I look at the trees waiting...any second now this beautiful dream turns into a nightmare.
I wake up with a start. My heart is racing, and I clutch at my chest, trying and failing to calm it down. This time was different; I didn't see the whole dream.
Happy birthday, Anala. Ulrica yipped cheerfully. I look around my room.
Relax! It's just us! Ulrica sarcastically voiced in my head. I look again and allow the left side of my mouth to lift in a half smile.
Happy Birthday to you too. Were you the one who stopped the dream? I asked...Ulrica tries to do that as often as they come, but lately, they seem to happen every night. She needs her rest, as well.
Consider it my birthday present to you. My smile grows.
"Thank you." I breathe, knowing she loves it when I talk.
Let's watch the sunrise...that will be enough. I looked outside and realized that the sun was barely reaching over the trees. I move my feet, testing my body. But it was healed from the training yesterday. Light as a feather, I jump up and go towards my small window. I open it as quietly as I can, the smell is heavenly. Trees, grass, and fog. Goddess, this was beautiful! I take a moment to breathe in the air before I climb out and begin climbing to the roof. Stretching my muscles felt terrific, feeling how my body moves naturally and felt the chilly spring morning. Living in the attic wasn't all bad. It made sneaking out a lot easier. I made it to the roof and began doing my morning stretches. I raised my arm over my heads and looked out into the sky.
"It is a beautiful morning," I whisper to Ulrica. I didn't need to talk to speak to her, but it feels nice to do it once in a while.
It's stunning. Ulrica agreed, we stared at the morning sky. Tangerine orange, apple red, and pink hues blurred together, engulfing the dark sky of last night. Everything blurred together in a silver mist, creating a beautiful scene before us.
Like fire Ulrica interjected, I stop stretching and feel my blood run cold.
Shit! Ana...I'm sorry I-
"It's fine," I said a little too loud, my voice harsh. I take a breath. I look around, hoping no one heard me.
"It's fine...just...don't remind me," I whisper. I feel her sigh. I close my eyes and see her eyes.
I'm sorry I snapped at you. I apologized. She nodded her head but didn't speak, instead she offers me her wolfish smile, tongue out and everything. I open my eyes again and sit down on the roof to look at the sun. Even when the world was drowning in pain and hardship, the sky remained beautiful. That was the one thing that had kept my hopes up—if the sky remained vivid and powerful, then maybe I could too.
We have at least another hour before training. I say to Ulrica, you up for a run? I felt her excitement, and immediately I knew that was a definite yes. I get up again and look down to the ground; if I was healthy I could jump that. But after days of no food, and using most of my energy to heal from last night I quietly slid down the house.
Carefully I placed my bare feet on the wet grass, and I open my eyes. I stared straight into the window and looked at my wolf's eyes — bright green with hints of red around the edges. Turning away quickly, I walk towards the forest. When I feel the trees cover me, I imagine my wolf's form and feel my bones shift. It takes only a second before I get used to walking on four paws. I do a stretch and take off running around the territory.
Ana, may I? Rica speaks. I move aside, and she takes over our body. We begin running faster than ever; she starts chasing rabbits for fun but never takes a bite. We both remembered the last time we ate without permission, and a cold shiver went down our spine. That day was one of our worst times in the small dungeon. The memory of the blood we shed that day made us stop cold in our tracks...and then suddenly we smelt it. Not blood, but of something warm, and familiar. We lifted our heads to breath in that comforting smell, trying to identify it. Lavender and honey...
Mate, she whispers to me, and I feel my heart soar to the heavens. Finally...we finally found them.
Please, Rica! Go to mate! Please! I practically shout to her. She lets me take over, and I shoot off towards the smell. I am lead back to the pack house, and I quickly shift back to my human form and put my clothes on. I dust off any speck of dirt and try to fix my hair before I step out and continue following the smell. I pursue the scent, that heavenly smell to the house and go inside. I'm blinded by anything else because nothing else matters...I'm going to meet my mate...I am going to be happy. Its an out of body moment, I know I am walking up the stairs, but I don't feel it. I know my breathing is uneven, but I don't care. I walk and walk up the stairs until I reach the Alpha's quarters, and I stop instantly. The Beta lives here as well....my father. But I don't care anymore, and my mate is here.
Maybe he is visiting from another pack? Rica suggests, and I nod in agreement. That has to be it. I stop in front of the Alpha's office. He's here...I feel him inside the room. I place my hand on the door and lean my head on it.
He's here. I have dreamt of this moment for years. He is here. He's here. He's really here. The words repeat in my head and the tears choke me.
But what if...what if he doesn't want me. The thought invades my mind and like I've been hit I take a step back.
We can do this. Rica encourages me. He will love us. We won't know until we enter the room. Come on Ana...you can do this. Standing up straight, I knock on the door.
"Come in." The Alpha's voice booms.
Taking a deep breath, I turn the knob.
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Oh my gosh! A chapter up! Even if no ones read this book, I am so glad I am writing and getting this out of my head.
If anyone is reading, which I sincerely hope someone is, let me know what you think!