--
Where did Adriana drift into whilst crumbling inside and desperate for an escape? A small bar that reeked of cigarette smoke and beer and was adequately lit from yellow lights lining the ceiling. Where two men tried to collect their thoughts on bar stools and the pool table had no friendly company. There she bought an entire bottle of Irish Whiskey, collected a glass and slid into a booth, feeling the pain welling up inside her chest like a ball of barbed wires. Just cutting and squeezing and gradually threatening to kill her.
She hated herself for saying all the wrong things. Adriana didn't like to drown in anger. It wasn't ever her preferred cup of tea. The taste of anger resembled the taste of black coffee without sugar in the morning. Back in the days when she used to down two cups after Machavano beat her around like a punching bag. Now, it wasn't supposed to unfold like this. Being certain of one's triggers should stop the bomb from exploding on another person. But Samantha wasn't just another person.
Samantha was her soul mate.
Believing in that kind of hocus pocus, as Ruby proclaimed it to be, was ludicrous. In fact, where would someone even begin to define a person that could possess the qualities attached to the phrase? She must be a fierce creature to behold, as Jane Austen would have penned once. Someone who was adorned with the kind of traits that perfectly fitted them together in every aspect. And Swan was essentially in possession of such qualities that combined them like a puzzle. Which is why Adriana could literally swell up with anger and frustration within seconds.
It was simple.
Every little thing, miniscule in fact, that Samantha conjured up in her conflicting behaviors demonstrated, Adriana couldn't help but magnify. She couldn't help it if every expression of doubt seemed bitter enough to sting her heart. When such a prolonged absence of affection had been allowed, Adriana felt inadequate. And that sense of inadequacy now existed like a crater within her chest, a crater she decided to patch up temporarily with whiskey on the rocks.
By the time Samantha had managed to deliver a few punches of her own, Red showed up at the bar to greet an already drunk Adriana.
"Knew I'd find you here," Lucas shook her head and slid into the adjacent seat. She plucked the bottle from the older woman's grasp and sighed. "For fuck's sake, there's only one shot left in here. Where did the rest go?"
"I drank it." Adriana offered a very cute pout whilst leaning onto the table. Those brown eyes swam in tears.
"Well of course you swallowed it all. But why?" She was fishing.
"Because..." Adriana tilted her head and smiled widely, "Samantha's left me she...wasn't even with me in the first place. I'm pathetic. There were drugs. Little tiny packs," she demonstrated by holding up an inch of space between two fingers. "I don't know where they came from."
"Fuck, I'm sorry about that," Lucas swore again, and could clearly remember her shouting match with Samantha on the phone. "Look, I asked Ron to deliver the box because I trust him, you know? I mean, he was the guy who got me out of jail when I punched that guy's face three months ago. I didn't know he would try to squeeze you for money. I don't even think he knew Samantha's a cop."
"So you fucked me up," Adriana drawled in her drunken state. "When I saved you from hell. This is what I get."
"Adriana, I didn't know!" Red pleaded. "I really didn't know there were drugs in there. I swear to God, I didn't mean to get you in trouble."
Clumsily pulling her mobile out from the waist pocket of the trench coat, the older woman slid it across the table and her chest heaved. "You have to call Samantha and tell her what you did."
"I already did, babe," Lucas admitted in a soft tone. She was so wounded after witnessing Adriana in such a broken state. Evidently now, without any further proof, Red was convinced that her friend was completely in love with Samantha. "I talked to her. We sorted things out."
"She hates me," Adriana croaked. "I said...things. I've hurt her. I told her things that made her cry. And she made me cry." Her lips quivered. "And now, I'm alone again and I can't...breathe. I want to disappear."
"Oh no," Ruby reached for the older woman's hands and clung to them. A pained expression rested on her face. "Fuck, babe. Don't say those things to yourself. Samantha doesn't hate you at all. I don't even think that's possible at this point. I mean, I just talked to her on the phone and she didn't sound angry at you or like if she hates you. All I heard was a woman who really loves you. But she was just so scared that maybe you were doing drugs to fade away the pain she thought she was causing you. She felt guilty because of it, that's why she got so upset."
"Samantha doesn't want me as much as I want her."
"That's not true, okay? I even went over to her place and we talked. And no joke, she's so worried about you right now, it's killing her. If she didn't love you, then why would she be worried at all, hmm? Why would she beg me to find you? Look," Red squeezed Adriana's hand, "maybe things aren't moving as fast as you want it to, right? But that doesn't mean that she loves you less. Maybe she has a different way of loving someone. It could be that she's like me. She's had her heart broken already and she's cautious. Maybe she's even scared about what to expect since she's never been with another woman. But it doesn't mean that she loves you less."
Hanging her head, the older woman's tears dripped on the table. She drunkenly swirled the drops around with her finger. "I thought you didn't...like her."
"I didn't at first to be honest," Red admitted with a guilty smile. "But then when I saw how she looked after you in the hospital and how she was there every single day. Talking to you about these little things like how her day went and stuff, I changed my mind about her. I saw someone who would give you her world, just as long as you were happy. Then when she actually took you in to live with her. I mean, that's the purest kind of love ever, Adriana. You don't want to lose that. Me? I'd fucking hold onto that for as long as I could."
"I'm drunk, Ruby," Adriana shrugged, scrunching up her fingers upon the table. "I feel sleepy."
"All the goddamn time," Lucas swore and cast a look of disbelief around the bar. "Alcohol is like a sleeping aid for you."
Falling into a silence that really drifted on to the two of them merely staring at each other with a growing acceptance of the situation; the dull ache that had rested on the brunette's temples evidently exploded into a terrible migraine. One that she literally squeezed her eyes to prevent any kind of light from entering those brown orbs. Little by little though, sips of water and two pain killers chased the worst of it away. But after fifteen minutes, Adriana, after resting her head upon the table onto folded arms, drifted into a deep, dreamless sleep. And Ruby decided to tackle the bar for a plate of decent food.
Later that afternoon when Andrew familiarized himself with the frantic knocking upon his front door, he asked his son in a gentle tone to turn down the telly. And then whilst Annie hovered by the door leading into the kitchen, Jones used the peephole.
He wasn't entirely prepared for the blonde's appearance upon his doorstep. She looked rather terrible, in fact, so consumed with emotions that immediately, he took Jordan by the hand and led him into the den to watch cartoons with his son.
"I'll fix us all cups of tea," Annie volunteered and she disappeared into the kitchen.
"Samantha, what's wrong?" Jones settled her down onto a chair around the dining table. Frowning, he offered a clean yellow handkerchief from his breast pocket.
The blonde collected it. Her hands were shaking. Eyes downcast, she finally allowed the tears to fall freely because of course, concealing as much weakness from Jordan was her top most priority. The kid needed her to be his rock. Little did he know that even his tough mom could have her lowest moments. Like now.
"Adriana and I had a fight," Samantha croaked. "Like a terrible one." She explained to him what occurred with the box, leaving out no details and after fleshing out the arrest that was hastily made in the alleyway, Andrew's astonishment grew. "I kept asking her what the hell was going on and then things got so...sore between us, that she picked up her coat and left me. Ruby showed up eventually."
"I wager that she had a lot to say," he sighed.
"She said enough to clear Adriana's name," Samantha nodded, wiping beneath her eyes slowly with the tip of the kerchief. "But it's not that part that makes me feel so terrible about myself. It's how she constantly doubts my feelings for her. Like I'm not ever going to be in this one hundred percent. And that makes me so stupid and pathetic."
"I'm certain," he reached out to grasp her hand, and offered a pleading look, "that this is not about you. Her desperate need to find what's lacking in you must stem from her past encounters and relationships with other people. Think about how Machavano must have treated her as his wife. Sparingly, if he had to offer a wealth of money, then maybe that was the only thing to compensate for the abuse."
When Annie arrived with a green plastic tray containing a porcelain teapot and three cups, Andrew dug into a draw and collected the spoons. And after all three of them were in the company of 'spots of tea' as Jones loved to reference in the old British way, then and only then did Annie politely ask to be excused. Even after they both acknowledged that she wouldn't be intrusive, she left them to join the children in the living room with a warm smile, declaring that best friends dealt with matters among themselves best over cups of tea.
"Adriana is possibly trying to cling to you on a deeper level because of your worth to her. She's finally discovered a very pretty seashell with a warm heart, and she'd like to keep it. But all the stains from her past are becoming like rashes on her soul." Jones sipped slowly.
Samantha, stirred the warm liquid and stared at the swirling waves. "I can't believe she walked out on me." Tears stung her eyes from the painful memory.
Andrew, however, rested his teacup upon the table. "It proves to me that she's just like you."
"How?" Swan stared at him.
"Running from a storm," he reminded her. "Samantha, it's something you always do. Those fights you always had with Cassidy. You'd show up at the precinct at 1 in the morning afterwards or I'd find you at my doorstep. Remember those times you and Jordan slept with Johnnie in his pillow fort?"
A smile pinched at the corner of those green eyes. "Yeah."
"He misses those. And indeed, Adriana reminds me of you because just when the argument could have become full blown nasty, she ran from you. Why? To contain her anger. For it is only when we are angry that we yell things that we don't mean. I'm certain that she is feeling terrible about what was said right now. And she'd like to see you again."
"So what do you think I should do?" Swan asked in earnest.
"Red is out there trying to locate her?" he asked. His cup of tea had already drained out of the cup. When Samantha nodded, he did the same. "Alright, then first, you'll drink your cup of tea and have another. We'll both sit here until your mobile rings with good news. Until then, we'll plan the rest of the night. But in terms of Jordan, I think that he should sleep over until the storm blows away. The child shouldn't be exposed to so much friction. Especially since you've mentioned that he's taking a shining to Adriana."
"He believes the world in her," Samantha's eyes turned dreamy. "She bonds with him more than she bonds with me."
"That's because you don't make the time to connect with her, with your job and all. You need to make time." Andrew advised.
That night around nine when Samantha hastily agreed to leave Jordan out of the drama by entertaining his sleepover with Johnnie, the blonde ventured home and waited.
Red, after calling an hour ago, had declared that she managed to locate Adriana two hours prior, but was trying to soothe her nerves. After all, the older woman had, from what Lucas confessed, drown herself in a bottle of whiskey. Something that displeased the blonde, after the magnitude of their painful argument settled on her heart for the umpteenth time that night. Now, Swan was lingering in the apartment, and wringing her hands, trying to rehearse the upcoming scene without fucking it up further.
Should she keep her hair down? Let the blonde tendrils tumble down her back? Would Adriana highly favor that and could it serve as a somewhat subtle spur of love and attraction between the two of them? Should she maybe put the water heater on because cups of tea might settle Adriana's gradually nauseated stomach and migraine? Did the brunette become nauseated from a hangover?
Eventually, Samantha discovered that standing in one attitude on the other side of the door was possibly the most calming thing ever. And as soon as three knocks persisted upon the wood, the blonde used the peephole and hastily opened up to reveal the two women; an alert and comforting Lucas with a very groggy and confused looking Adriana.
"I can't stay," Red said after depositing the older woman onto the sofa in front of the TV. She sighed and bit her lips. "Um, this is your fight. I don't want to sound like I'm not eager to help. But I think you got this, Samantha. I really think you do. One piece of advice though." She was already retreating to the door. "Don't take her for granted, man. I mean, back in high school, if you liked a kid, he wouldn't know how you felt unless you told him. Some kind of talking has to happen between you two. So talk to her, yeah? Tell her how she's special and how you love her. Don't hold back."
"Thanks, Red," Samantha offered a sweet smile. "I really appreciate this."
After Lucas had left, the tension within the apartment began to gradually swell.
Standing couldn't be ideal as Adriana constantly reared her head to locate the blonde even though nothing was said between the two of them. So eventually, Samantha drew nearer, cautiously of course, with the hopes of dispelling any kind of bad vibes. Like bad coffee. The bitter taste of awful cups every morning after Neal had left her heartbroken.
"Samantha?" Adriana suddenly croaked. Her head lolled sideways upon the back of the soft chair. "Help."
"What's wrong?" Swan, of course, now quickened the pace to close the distance, and then she planted herself on the spot right next to the other woman.
"I couldn't see you," the brunette whined. "Where did you go?"
"I've been here all the time," Samantha admitted as she deeply admired the adorable being in close proximity. Now, Adriana was pouting, a look that possibly graced the older woman's face once since they had met.
"I'm sad," Adriana's chest heaved.
"Me too," Swan admitted, feeling herself become more entangled in the warmest definition of love to ever exist. Slowly reaching out one hand, she entwined their fingers together and settled into the chair with mild contentment.
"I'm so sorry, Samantha. For what I said. I made you cry and I shouldn't have reacted the way I did," Adriana began to bring forth all the bits and pieces of pain that had been tormenting her. "But when you raised your voice at me, I remembered him. I remember how he used to slap me when he thought I was lying. And how he used to break things. He broke my wrist two times," she held up her right hand and gazed at it. Green eyes filled with tears. "And I had to tell the doctor that I tripped. After I was admitted into the hospital for my fourth miscarriage, they wanted to ask him questions," Adriana locked eyes with the blonde. "But he paid them not to."
"You had four miscarriages?" Samantha was stunned. Her throat closed up as the anguish threatened to destroy her heart.
"Yes," Adriana nodded. "I don't have another chance, thanks to him. I'm ruined."
"Don't you ever say that," Swan squeezed the other woman's hand between hers. "Please, don't ever do that. There are other options like adopting. The last thing you are is ruined. And I'm the one who should be apologizing to you, Adriana," the blonde admitted in a softer tone. "I should be ashamed of myself for the way I handled the conversation between us earlier and I shouldn't have raised my voice at you. I felt so fucking stupid, you know? Realizing that I did it and I could have controlled it. Now I did something horrible that reminds you of him. And I don't want to be like him."
"You're not like him," Adriana croaked. A tear trailed down her cheek. She played with Samantha's fingers a little, twirling her thumb around the blonde's fair digits. "You're not a violent person. You're not abusive. You were worried about your child's safety. And fearing that I could be an addict."
Red really helped out, Samantha realized in that moment.
"You must know, that I would never touch a single type of drug and even barbiturates infuriate me. Today Red had to force me to take two pain killers. Because every single drug I associate with him and my mother. Cora began abusing me way before he ever did with her words that cut like knives. She wanted to turn me into a heartless child. I became that kind of person when I killed three men."
"But now you're not that person anymore," Swan reminded her. "I'm never going to forget how you risked your life to save Jordan, Adriana. I don't ever think that me telling you thank you a million times would make up for what you did, without even second thinking it. You just stepped in and saved him and I owe you so much because of that."
"You owe me nothing."
"I'm such a fuck up sometimes, huh?" Samantha covered her face behind splayed fingers that trembled a little. "I'm the worst kind of mess."
"No," Adriana shifted closer to the blonde and gently draped a comforting arm around Swan's shoulder. "You're my girlfriend. And you're the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me in my life so far. Our love story," the brunette rested her head upon Samantha's shoulder, "began so terribly tragic. But I never gave up hope that I could make it happen. I wanted to fight for you until I won you. Even if fighting meant that my mother could raise a gun at me and shoot. I did it. All for you. You must know that."
Their eyes met.
Samantha bit her lips and cried softly. "Adriana, you're too kind to me. Where were you all my life when I needed you so much?"
"With the wrong person, hoping in earnest that my true love was somewhere out here waiting on me to escape from a demented prison," the brunette said in a whisper.
Forty five minutes later and Adriana was wiped out on couch, head of tousled dark hair resting upon Swan's lap. The bottle of whiskey had played its course. Gone was the slack tongue equipped with generous words. Now, resting like a baby, Adriana curled up a little more into Samantha's lap as a soft moan escaped from within her purring soul.
Samantha was in dire need of fleshing out what had occurred during the course of the day. She wanted to make sense out of nonsense. To right all the wrongs. To perhaps reverse the clock and handle the earlier instance containing the box with a little more warmth. But now wasn't the time to regret what had happened. Instead, she now had to dwell on the ticking future that would bring with it so much more than what she would expect. But everything that her life had been craving to have.
Evidently, their relationship settled into something that resembled a flower in summer bloom. Through the heat bearing down on them from all the kinks turning up around every corner, Samantha settled on remaining calm through it all. Like there was nothing to worry about because she was certain now of where their relationship was. And as their soft smiles to conceal uncertainty lingered for a day and a half, eventually both of them drifted closer to each other without examining their perfect flaws.
Silence between them didn't mean that the world was about to fall apart. Now they could sit together for breakfast and dinner without wondering about what doubts could be threatening to kill their love. Now Jordan admired their demeanors and treasured the serenity when his mom and this other amazing woman collided. Their hearts cohabitated not only inside the apartment, but also within an expansive flourishing field of colorful flowers. Because the rainy days were gone.
--
Two mornings after when Samantha stirred from sleep and smelt soft jasmine intermingled with strawberries, she faintly felt as if her mind was being deceitful. Then after soft dark tendrils tickled her cheek, she smiled.
Finally, Adriana was brave enough to come into Samantha's bedroom.
The older woman moaned softly when Swan pulled their bodies closer into each other. Because the warmth was pleasing enough to settle their hearts into a slow pace again as the sun's yellow rays cascaded through the window blinds and onto the white tiled floors. This was what morning glory probably felt like. To wake up holding the one person in the world that mattered to you more than anyone else except her kid. The one woman whom she loved so much; being so close to her was a prolonged feeling of bliss.
Gradually, Samantha eased her way into the shower with a mind full of pleasant thoughts because she was now in a place where everything fitted together. Where even the smell of toothpaste was sharper and every little detail was exciting to behold. Even the crackle of the yellow shower curtain as she pulled it aside whilst slipping out of her pajamas. All of this amazed Swan because she had never felt like that before. She never felt like there was so much more in the world to behold. Things that had been taken for granted. And while she tossed her clothes into the laundry basket, and the warm water sprinkled down onto the soft caramel colored tiles, the blonde untangled her hair from a red pony holder and shook the tendrils out.
When she stepped under the spray, a soft sigh escaped from knowing that maybe a long day lay ahead, but there was someone to come home to now. Someone who meant the world to her.
Just as Samantha squeezed a small amount of gel onto the soft pink puff, she distinctly heard the soft patter of footsteps on the tiled floors beyond the curtain.
"Adriana?" the blonde felt stupid for asking anyway because who else could it be?
"Yes."
She sounded so close. And as those emerald eyes studied the pale yellow in front of her, as the sun's rays shone through the small window above her head, gradually a silhouette formed that resembled Adriana.
"Good morning, babe," she used a pet name for the first time and literally felt her throat closing up. Nervousness kicked in. Uncertainty. Of not knowing whether the older woman would soften to the greeting or not.
The faucet's spray was the immediate reply. Adriana dabbed some toothpaste on her toothbrush and studied her sleepy face. "Good morning, my love."
"Took your time to reply, huh?" Samantha joked, working up the suds on the puff between her fingers. "Did you sleep well?"
"Of course I did," the brunette's words were a bit muffled as she brushed her teeth.
"I wonder why..." the blonde smiled up as the water sprayed onto her face. "Maybe it was because you had a human pillow instead of one stuffed with fluff."
"It was that," Adriana rinsed her mouth and smiled into the mirror. "Added to the glory of your calming, sleeping soul."
"I like that."
A bit of movement happened behind the thin plastic barrier between them. Something soft fell into the laundry basket. And as Samantha reached out to turn down the shower spray, the crackle of the shower curtain startled her.
Then those emerald eyes widened when she realized what was about to unfold so quickly as Adriana revealed herself without any clothes on. Her red two piece pajamas with the cute pair of short pants was gone. And even as she stepped into the small space boldly, Samantha's lips parted from realizing that for the first time since they were familiar with each other, she was beholding the older woman in all her naked glory.
Her curves were beautiful. The swell of those soft hips and perfectly shaped thighs. She had the kind of body that many woman would have worshipped. Would have prayed for. Even her breasts presented a difficult challenge for the blonde to rest her eyes upon without becoming too flushed under the spray of water. Adriana was perhaps two sizes fuller and her brown nipples were already erect from the exposing situation. And the already healed up gunshot wound, leaving a scar presented an even more badass feeling about Adriana.
Samantha, of course couldn't quite contain her shyness from the ultimate reveal. From knowing now that as those brown eyes slowly studied her lanky but muscular body, she caught the look of lust and so much more. For the first time, she was being admired and longed for by another woman. Not a man. And the beautiful clarity of the situation only turned her on more. Because now she was finally able to understand why there were more poetry and prose written about a woman's body than a man. Why literal devices were used to reference red lips like rose petals and skin so soft like silk. Why love could be felt through words and were even more powerful to behold up close.
Adriana deserved to be painted with a fine brush. She should be draped in red silk upon a bed whilst the painter captured every curl of her eyelashes and the stray strands of hair that settled on her temples. Not locked away for so many years without being able to expose her natural talent at being flawless.
"You're...divine," Swan choked on her words. "Just...wow."
Two steps forward brought the brunette an inch away from the blonde. "And you're the definition of beautiful," Adriana croaked as she ran her fingers through tangled blonde hair. "I'm going to make love to you. So deeply that you will never be afraid of anything in the world again." And after divulging her intent in a purring voice, the older woman softly tasted Samantha's lips.
Those emerald eyes fluttered close. She was drowning under a sprinkle of warm water but inside a tank of pleasure. Her mind swam dangerously out into an ocean of lust when Adriana's fingers curve around her neck. She's too close. Moving them slowly together. Lips touching tentatively. It's so sweet like honey and perfect without the need to hurry. Lacking anxiety. God, how she wants to roll around in this feeling forever.
Adriana pulled back a little. With brown eyes closed and her forehead against Samantha's, she says. "Do you know what turns me on the most about you?"
"What?" Swan whispered. She held onto the pink puff and at the same time, her mind was forgetting about it.
The brunette moved in to press a soft kiss onto the younger woman's jawline. "Knowing that you've never been intimate with another woman. And I'm the one you trust enough to share something so special with."
"I wouldn't want it any other way," Samantha said with her eyes still closed.
Adriana trailed soft kisses upon fair, smooth skin until those lips found the blonde's hardened nipples. So perfectly made. And so exiting to explore. Capturing Samantha's hips between her hands, she lowered herself gradually whilst sucking and teasing with the aid of her tongue. Flicking and feeling how the blonde's body began to open up and arch into her touch.
Samantha was on the verge of moaning for the umpteenth time when Adriana's mouth travelled lower to her belly button. Then the span of her hips were covered in kisses and she had to lean against the tiled walls to steady herself. She had to maintain some kind of support when the water added so much lubrication to excite her pores. When Adriana stole the pink puff away from her grasp and began to gingerly massage between her thighs that were growing so flustered already. The warm water was merely adding to the already growing crescendo as the brunette's mouth found Samantha's weak spot.
Three times she came undone.
Swan never imagined how intense an orgasm could climb to until Adriana showed her. And every single time she convulsed from those rippling waves of pleasure, the brunette sucked harder and drove her tongue deeper. Tasting and savoring and knowing the right time to go harder and then move slower. All of it was mind blowing until Samantha's head lolled upon the tiled wall and her grip slackened in Adriana's dark, matted hair. And even then, the brunette continued, maintaining her firm grip on Swan's thighs as she parted them further to delve in a lot more.
"Don't stop," Samantha begged eventually. But by then, Adriana was up again and locking their lips together in a deeper, passionate kiss that unearthed a loud moan from both of them.
She couldn't ever think straight again. Not literally. Not when she twisted the brunette around so that they exchanged positions and now she was the one tasting Adriana's skin. Her beautiful honey coloured skin was so soft and her breasts were just amazing enough to linger on as Samantha mirrored what had been done to her before. She sucked softly on each nipple until the older woman arched into her, and her fingers curved around Samantha's neck, pulling her closer to enjoy. Needing her to do so much more.
Swan grazed her teeth down the middle of Adriana's torso as she was evidently eager to go further down south for the first time. And without awaiting any further orders, the brunette parted her legs to accommodate the younger woman between her thighs. Blinding her with the feel of that soft, exploring mouth upon her clit. Samantha licked slowly as if she was trying to entertain the idea of every second feeling like a minute. A minute closer to the edge as she tasted Adriana's arousal and felt the brunette's body tense up gradually.
Their hands remained entwined. Adriana's mind danced dangerously into a fiery pit of pleasure when Samantha sucked harder on her. So that when she weakly began to ride through those intense orgasms, the blonde latched on devoured her harder and more passionately than she had ever experienced in her life. So deep and powerful, it was almost as if Samantha was revealing a wilder side to her that had been caged up for too long. The side of her that yearned to take control and to torment until Adriana could honestly feel how intense her love was. How glorious and beautiful that moment was for the blonde; when Samantha grazed her teeth upon that already throbbing part of the brunette, Adriana couldn't help herself.
She cried out hoarsely whilst squeezing her eyes shut as the blonde hoisted her up whilst squatting on the tiled floor.
Swan was so strong, of course the brunette probably underestimated that from the inception. She sitting so snugly on the younger woman's shoulder, feeling so burdened with pleasure but so light as a feather.
"Fuck me harder," Adriana honestly could not contain herself enough to apply any filters. She drove her fingers deeper into blonde hair as her back moved up and down against the wall. "I'm going to..." she moaned loudly and bit her lips until she tasted blood when the climatic edge finally brought on orgasms that twisted her body one after the other.
Eventually when Samantha unfolded herself enough to press the full length of her body upon Adriana's shaking form, the blonde marveled further over what she had done. Because she had been in doubt about making love to a woman from the beginning. Not knowing if she would ever manage it right. And now, obviously she was doing just fine.
Their lips crushed together in a hungry kiss whilst both of them drove their hands between each other. And even though Adriana was still clinging to the remaining little quakes from within her body, when Samantha slipped two fingers into her, she gasped. Not because it had been such a long time. But because above all, this was their first time exploring each other in so many different ways.
Swan's mind was spinning when she felt how the older woman stretched to accommodate her fingers. Adriana was so...tight. Was that the word? She could barely think properly through the haze that pleasure created in her mind. But the blonde was quite certain that giving up control to passion was the most dangerously satisfying thing of all. Because there they were, making love to each other as their fingers thrust in and out, as they moved gingerly together, and outside, the world was still chaotic. Whilst they both were in the most blissful moment ever.
Playing the power card again, Samantha lifted Adriana up and backed her onto the wall. She allowed her hands now to curve around the older woman's wet body as Adriana's legs wrapped around her hips. And whilst still kissing the brunette deeper and slower, using tongue to torment and tease, she finally cried out in a husky voice when they connected in the most pleasurable place ever. Because it was a new feeling but a mind blowing one to understand how sex with another woman evolved into these new positions. Places she hadn't explored before.
Both of them gazed into each other's eyes as they grinded their hips together and rolled through a rhythm that threatened to suffocate them. Even Adriana was blinded by pleasure so much that she lost herself for a few seconds, forgetting how to breathe when the heat between them climbed up again dangerously. And when both of them came hard in each other's arms, a bond was formed that would never ever be broken. Something so beautiful between them that would be remembered for years to come. So strong it was, their first time together, that evidently Samantha realized true love maybe did exist outside of a fairytale world.
"How are you holding up though?" Andrew asked two days after as four of them sat around a table in a cozy bar. He studied Adriana's face.
"She hung herself," Adriana said with downcast eyes. Her thumb slowly circled the rim of her glass containing whiskey. "In the end, she finished her life cleanly like a coward."
Samantha sighed, considering the older woman's face intently. She was so wounded even after realizing how destructive Cora had been. Not because of the criminal the Queen of Hearts was though. But because in the end, Adriana had lost her mother. Someone who had tormented her life yeah, but the one person who had birthed the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. If it wasn't for the monster whose body was now lying in the morgue, Samantha wouldn't be seated next to what she was slowly beginning to believe was her soul mate.
"But she was my mother," Adriana admitted in an uneven voice. She bit her lips. "And some small part of me will miss her. But every other part of my body hated her for so many years, I can't mourn her."
Samantha reached for the brunette's hand and entwined their fingers upon the table. "At least you don't have to go through this alone."
"I don't mean to rise onto a pedestal and steal away from what you are feeling," Andrew said softly, "but I'd like you to at least know that my father was the worst man I had ever met. He was a drunk who...abused my mother for years and ten years ago, he sent her in a body bag to the hospital. Dead. She was my pride and joy."
Annie, his wife, leaned into him for support.
"I lost him two years ago to cancer, Adriana," Jones continued whilst their eyes locked. "And I'm not ashamed to tell you this, but I hadn't seen him in over fifteen years until then. Bloody hell, he was dead to me already. So when he really died, I felt just as you are feeling now. A small part of me missed him. But a larger part of me hated him so much that I moved on quickly."
"Monsters," Adriana said as her chest heaved. "The kind hell will take pride in accepting."
"I'll drink to that," Jones lifted his glass and clinked it with hers. Both of them smiled. "We will never be the kind of parents our parents were. They brought us into this world. But they never made us into who we are."
"Really and truly Cora did play a substantial role in who I've become," Adriana admitted with a shrug. She sipped on her whiskey and licked her lips whilst studying Samantha's fingers entwined with hers. "She broke me up into tiny little pieces until it was difficult for me to put myself back together. I'm only now finding that the pieces are coming together because well..." those brown eyes rested on emerald ones, "I have someone who understands me enough to heal me."
"I'll drink to that too," Andrew toasted again with a wide grin.
All four of them hit their glasses together.
"Remind me why you're drinking ginger ale again?" Samantha asked Annie with a small smile.
"Ah, you know me to be a blotting paper next to my husband," she laughed with so much warmth in her eyes. "Really and truthfully by now, I could have gone five glasses in whilst the rest of you are still behind."
"That's why I'm asking," Swan said in all good humor.
"Well my drinking days are over for now," Annie said softly whilst glancing at her husband. "Until I'm in labor and I beg Andrew for a few shots to knock the pain away."
Samantha gasped. "You're pregnant?"
"She is," Jones beamed whilst hugging his wife closer. "Second one which means I win the bet, Swan."
"Show off all you want," Samantha shook her head and scoffed.
"Now you have to drink a bottle of gin as promised." He smirked.
"What...bet are you referring to?" Adriana was curious as she studied Swan's impish look directed at Jones. "Might I be enlightened?"
It was Annie who sighed before explaining. "Years ago, even before the two of them were even married, they made a silly bet whilst moving through the Police Academy together. Two kids, and a bottle of gin to the loser who falls behind."
"Oh the things we conjure up when we are most idle," Adriana smiled sweetly at Andrew then Samantha. "Really? Betting on your future children in such an easy manner?"
"In my defense," Jones said sitting back and staring at the brunette whilst his eyes twinkled, "I was hammered that night. Samantha wasn't. But she still enforced the bet for many years after." He clicked his fingers, signaling the busty waiter decked on in a Harley Quinn outfit. "Gin," he ordered with glee in his eyes. "Four shots. All for you," Andrew raised his eyebrows at Samantha.
"Idiot," she rolled her eyes and settled back in the seat.
"So when are you two going to tie the knot?" Annie's eyes twinkled. "Jordan needs a complete family again, doesn't he? And a baby sister or brother."
Samantha lightheartedly laughed. She nudged the woman seated beside her and cleared her throat. "Well..."
"I think that we're really not ready for marriage as yet," Adriana interjected, resting a cool gaze upon Annie. "And I cannot have children."
Andrew and Annie's faces drooped considerably from the disappointing news. It wasn't fair to Annie in her mind, that women like Adriana who possibly wanted kids couldn't have them. That wasn't supposed to be the natural order of things.
"You can adopt," Annie suggested in a soft manner. "Or Samantha, you can use a donor. That's a start, at least."
Andrew's eyes had latched on this friend's face instantly. Whilst trying to assess her countenance, he, within seconds, tackled the walls the blonde had constructed to take a peek inside her mind. And it wasn't pleasing, what he noticed. But he wanted to remind her that things unfolded in time. Nothing should be rushed. Adriana's fastidious reply about marriage wasn't the end. It could be that she wanted to work a little more on bringing herself closer with the woman she loved. At least, that's how he thought of it.
Samantha on the other hand was suddenly swirling around in a pool of angst that threatened to choke her. She swallowed hard, realizing that there was a small knot in her throat. All because of the sudden declaration on Adriana's part that marriage wasn't an option.
Wasn't it? What the hell was so wrong with the idea of the two of them tying the knot? Couldn't the brunette have admitted that yeah, maybe it could be possible in the future without shutting down the idea so fast? It hurt. Deep inside her gut, Swan felt more knots forming that squeezed her into an uncomfortable state.
"That's our song!" Jones said suddenly, downing his glass of Whisky. "Our wedding song. Shall I have this dance, my love?" He held out his hand in his wife's direction and she took it, blushing.
After they had left, the awkward silence that rested between the two women was obviously painful. Samantha couldn't digest what Adriana had said in front of Andrew and his wife. She didn't understand any of it at all.
"Please don't drink the gin, Samantha," Adriana said softly by Swan's side in a concerned tone. "You've had three shots of Whisky already. Anticipate a migraine."
Rolling her eyes, Swan grabbed the glass and downed the liquid in one go whilst scowling. Of course, the brunette's brows furrowed. Fingers curling upon the table with the obvious intent to hold back on her sarcasm, she sighed.
"You'll regret that."
Samantha, however, shook her head and stared at the bar. "Why do you care? It's not like you're going to be with me if I do develop liver problems or something."
"Providing that I'm on the same planet as you are, and I don't die first, then of course I'll be here," Adriana stated in a rather convincing tone.
"Stop contradicting yourself," Swan muttered, holding onto the empty glass as those emerald eyes hardened.
"How am I contradicting myself?" Adriana turned a little in the seat so that she was now facing the blonde. The softest glow of concern rested on her face. Those warm brown eyes were too mellow to depict any kind of anger burning inside.
"Is getting married to me such a freaking bad thing?" Samantha began, as her emotions welled up. Their eyes met. Hers obviously were glistening with tears. "I mean, you had to tell them that you don't see marriage as an option? What the hell does that even mean?"
Adriana blinked slowly. "It means that after I've been through a marriage that scarred me, I'm afraid of another one. I'm afraid of...feeling anxious even when I'm positive that we will build whatever we have together because we're in love. Right now," she rested her palm on Samantha's fingers upon the table, "when I think of marriage, all I feel is bitterness and hurt and someone having control over me. I was in an abusive relationship, Samantha. I need to reconstruct my understanding of marriage and a relationship and it will take time. I will not rush things. And I'm truly sorry that you are hurt because of what I said. But I hope that you understand that I need time and I'd like you to stay with me until I heal properly from what was, for me, like living in hell."
The blonde swallowed hard. Her chest heaved. It wasn't fair to settle on the forefront of things rather than delve deeper down into the wounds and scars. Adriana's words were honest and sincere.
"Nah, I have to apologize," Swan said softly, taking Adriana's hand into hers and squeezing. There was so much love in her eyes. "I really shouldn't take your past lightly. Yeah, I'm going to be here until you're ready."
"And I would love to have a baby with you," the brunette smiled as her heart melted from those green eyes growing so much softer. "When we do decide to go down that path, I'd like to share that special moment with you."
Samantha sighed as her heart relieved itself of the hurt and pain that had built up from earlier. "I don't know if I can go through the whole pregnancy thing again, because it was mad crazy for me. But I'll do it if you're there with me. Or we can adopt. I've always wanted an Asian daughter."
"Why, Asian, Samantha?" Adriana cupped her chin into the palm of her hand, elbow resting on the table. She smiled. "Enlighten me."
"The hair and the...eyes," the blonde explained in awe. "They're so cute. I get that she'll know that we're not her parents. But I want an Asian daughter."
"And I want..." Adriana leaned forward and rested their foreheads together whilst smiling, "...a lovely little baby from India."
"We can have both," Swan shrugged. "But you need a job first so we can take care of them without any financial strain."
"Three children, huh," Adriana pressed her lips gently onto Samantha's parted ones. The blonde smiled as her hand snaked around the older woman's waist. "How shall I ever handle all that chaos?"
"With your sexy wife by your side," Samantha said between the kiss that deepened into one that included tongue.
EPILOGUE
The star studded night sky served as a quiet reminder that nature existed through chaos and even the happiest of times without a strain. For when one chapter in life ended, another began. Therefore depicting that the world declared all honesty in presenting itself beyond our understanding of the powerful workings of nature that continued without being interrupted.
Samantha enveloped Jordan's hand into hers and smiling, she inhaled deeply. They were now making fair enough progress on an overpass as the bright lights of New York stretched across the horizon. Traffic hummed beneath their feet. A few kids were tossing rocks into the Hudson River. And even though Jordan longed to do the same, he allowed himself to be tugged along by his mom.
"Can I have the second one now?" he asked in earnest, face upturned as he studied Samantha's pleasant countenance.
"Not until we get there," she reminded him in a soft tone. "You hate the dentist. So remember that kid. No cavities."
"Two Ring Pops wouldn't give me cavities," he whined. Jordan tugged on her arm. "Come on, mom."
"No." She sighed, knowing to herself that if their roles were reversed, Adriana wouldn't have been questioned further about her denial to hand over the candy. Instead, he would comply.
By the time their boots trudged across the red tiled pathway towards the university's main building, her breath came out in little puffs. Walking instead of driving maybe wasn't such a good idea. But then, she had longed for the fresh air after a long day of work at the NYPD. Not forgetting the tough case they had been delving into that involved a meth ring, spiraling out of control in the Bronx. But unlike the Red X Cartel that had faded in operations over the past five months, the new dragon rearing its ugly head lacked violence and compensated with overdoses and robberies.
"Can we see her from here?" Jordan's eyes widened when the low, rumbling voice of the professor within the classroom drifted out into the hallway.
Wasn't so bad, Samantha thought. Adriana was now buried deep in Law classes at least four days in a week. The blonde didn't envy her girlfriend's area of study. The size of those textbooks were too massive for Swan's tastes. Most of them reminded her of the academy. Back when she was revving to become a cop just to save the world like the superhero Jordan thought she was. But Adriana's kind of studies weren't aimed to drive her closer to any police headquarters. She hated the smell of the bullpen in there, especially the disgusting patrol cars, as she proclaimed after Samantha picked her up in one of the vehicles one night.
That was why, the brunette had glorified her existence in the prestige classrooms fit for budding lawyers or magistrates or judges. Simply because she had the kind of flair and tastes that most suited cleaner offices with clients who would pay millions to clear their stained pasts.
Hoisting Jordan onto her shoulders, Samantha smiled when his pair of eyes managed to reach above the window pane of the classroom. He laughed and waved. And she glanced down at the tiled pathway, hoping that no one would pass by and scold them. He was a kid, wasn't he? The kind who believed the world in Adriana already. They had been spending so much time together because apart from her classes at nights, the brunette spent the days and afternoons with the kid cooped up in the apartment. If they didn't go for walks, they went shopping or to the museums. And there was those few times Adriana skipped town with Jordan to visit the hostels that housed broken teens and women.
"I can see her!" he said gleefully. "She waved at me. She's writing now. There are so many people in there. The professor is old. He looks like Professor Dumbledore."
"Bet he does," Samantha wondered whether Adriana would prefer Chinese takeout or pizza. If they decided on the latter, then half would be veggie with pine whilst the other half would be extra cheese with pepperoni and no veggies. Just the way she and Jordan like it.
Swan tried as hard as she could to bury the painful conversation she had shared with Neal two days prior. She tried to swallow the words down like a bitter pill every single morning although Andrew warned her not to dwell on any of it. But even then as she led Jordan to a stone bench not too far from the classroom, Samantha felt the words burning into her mind and heart. She felt it and she tasted the bitterness still lingering in the air although Neal had flown himself to Miami to recover.
"You're what?" he said, staring in bewilderment at her.
Samantha, obviously in a hurry to avoid the conversation, eyed the NYPD main building. "Look, I got to get back. It's way past my lunch."
"No, come on," Cassidy lightly took her arm and appeared puzzled. Conflicted. Uncertain of what else to think. "This woman. Adriana. You're telling me she's your...girlfriend?"
"Neal, I can't talk about this now."
"You're sleeping with her?" his eyes were wide as saucers. And when Swan merely met his stare with a cool gaze, he swore. "Jesus Christ! You've gone crazy! Are you even thinking about this properly? What the hell happened to you?"
"You'd be the last person I'd expect to understand how the hell I feel," she seethed, growing totally mad about his reference to her mental health. "You've never cared before. Not when I was alone and you pushed me away over and over again. So don't play the stable one here, Neal."
"You're the one acting like a lesbo in front of our kid," he pointed out as traffic rolled by. "Jordan doesn't need those kind of ideas in his head. He's too young to be confused and you're confusing him. Just as you're confused."
"I'm not confused!" she hammered him with the truth, emerald eyes flaring up. "I'm perfectly sure of what I'm doing and what I want. And thank God it isn't you!"
"Great," he scoffed up towards the sky. Neal threw his hands up in surrender. "Fucking great, Samantha. You've become everything your aunt Belle never wanted you to become. She'd be so disappointed to know that the girl she raised ended up becoming infatuated with a criminal. Because that's what Adriana is, isn't she? A dead drug dealer's wife? And you're pulling our kid into this?"
Jordan was tugging at her sleeve. She handed over the Ring Pop absentmindedly and folded her arms, glaring into the night.
"Mom, you have on your scary face," he said to her. "If it's the candy then I don't want it."
"It's not that kid," she patted his head as students began to filter through the faculty door. "I'm just kind of thinking about work."
"Pizza," he said beaming up at her, swinging his legs wildly under the bench.
"Huh?"
"I'm trying to get you to think of food. It always takes your mind off of bad things. Or Adriana." He sucked on the candy.
"Yeah," green eyes rested on the familiarity of black leather jacket, black pants and a red scoop neck top as the brunette drifted nearer.
Hugging her books, she bent down gracefully, pressing those lips softly on Samantha's parted ones before ruffling Jordan's hair. "Hi, my darlings."
"Took you forever," Swan joked, making room for Adriana on the bench. She squeezed in between the two of them and sighed. "What's wrong?" Samantha asked, frowning.
"Nothing," the brunette shrugged. "I just feel, exhausted and much too well versed in the strategic framework of the High Court. Famished anyone?"
"Hell, I am," Samantha admitted. "What do you have in mind?"
Adriana's fingers tucked a few stray strands of blonde hair behind the younger woman's right ear. She rested her head upon Samantha's shoulder. "How about...pizza? And a Netflix binge? Tomorrow is Saturday, which means no work, or school or classes."
"So we can all sleep late!" Jordan piped up. "Awesome."
"That's exactly why I feel like watching Murder She Wrote."
"Come on," Samantha considered those brown eyes with a look of disbelief. "Fletcher and pizza? Doesn't really fit together, does it?"
"What about a Scooby Doo marathon?" Jordan suggested. He held up the plastic ring and smiled at it.
"There!" Samantha pointed out, "I'll go with the kid. Fletcher," she continued as Adriana pouted, "is for Sunday after lunch after Andrew drops off the BBQ. Then we can settle down and do some investigations."
"Sounds like a plan," the brunette gave in. "Are we ready to go home now?" she rose up from the seat, stretched and yawned. "I can't wait to take a shower and sleep."
Samantha, following in suit, bumped shoulders with the older woman. Their eyes roamed the grassy landscape of the university for a few seconds. And gradually, the blonde draped an arm around Adriana. She had hoped that the bursting feeling of nervousness and being totally anxious around the brunette would die down after a few weeks. But no such thing occurred. Instead, with each passing day, Samantha fell in love all over again with Adriana.
From the way the older woman looked at her alone, she was quite certain of the mutuality in that area. Nothing changed between them. Nothing died down. Which was pretty amazing from the start. Simply because she had feared that their blooming attraction would dwindle down into just a relationship, as her experience had been with Neal. But not now. Now it was different. Now, she felt highly entertained to stick this one out forever.
"Mom, here," Jordan stood in front of them. He handed Samantha one of the plastic rings and carefully tucked his hands behind his back.
Swan, of course, studied the darn thing and wondered why in the world he had given her the ultimate prize of his glorified little world. He kept these things and made all sorts of oddities from them like wind chimes and fancy shades for the yellow lamp Adriana had bought for the apartment. But this. This was new.
"Kid I um," she twirled the ring between her fingers and studied his face. "I thought you keep these things."
"I do. But I have a plan." He shifted his position and offered a little smile that rocked Samantha's world. "I was thinking today that since dad left, I don't want it to happen again. You found Adriana and you're so happy. So I don't want this to end. So I wanted you to use the ring as a promise ring."
She blinked at him, quite fascinated and intrigued. "You want me to what?"
"I dare you to ask Adriana to wear the ring and keep it as long as she wants to stay with us," he explained in earnest. "I want you to ask her to be my mom."
The brunette swallowed hard as her heart melted. He was the sweetest darling. "Oh Jordan," she croaked, tilting her head sideways as she smiled at him warmly.
"Kid, you're a work of art," Swan said to her son. "Why don't you ask her to be your mom though? Why don't you give her the ring?"
Adriana locked eyes with the blonde and her smile slowly disappeared as something inside of her chest cracked a little.
"Because," Jordan said matter-of-factly, "if you do it, you'll remember the promise she makes. And you wouldn't leave her ever. The two of you will stick together as long as you remember who you are to me."
"Geez, kid," Samantha felt a tear trickle down her cheek and she brushed it away, laughing nervously. "You're turning on my faucet here. Good job."
"It isn't such a bad idea," Adriana grasped the blonde's right wrist that had reached up to wipe at her cheek. And she held it, their gaze deepening. "I'd like you to ask me. It's a promise that will pain me to ever even think of breaking. So in more ways than one, it will offer long term effects that should please you, most dearly."
Green eyes widened a little. Of course she wasn't talking about marriage, was she? But there it was. The endearing look in those brown eyes, as if willing her to take the leap. To fall together.
"Will you..." Samantha cleared her throat whilst producing the ring between them as Jordan grinned from ear to ear. "Will you be Jordan's other mom? For as long as the world spins on its axis?"
Nodding, Adriana held out her left hand, sparkly red nail polish quite catching under the yellow light on the post above them. "Yes. I promise."
Jordan handed over the other ring without wasting any time. "Now your turn," he said to the brunette. "Ask mom to stick with you forever."
Sighing and shaking her head with a small smile, Adriana licked her red painted lips. She slowly blinked at Samantha. "My dearest love. Will you stick...with...me together?" Adriana smirked. "Like...bees to honey? Unicorns to glitter? Ah, Shaggy to Scooby Doo?"
"Jesus," Samantha swept the older woman in with one swift move and she kissed her deeply. Both breathless afterwards, the two of them remembered Jordan and they tried to contain their feelings. "Of course I will stick to you like unicorns to glitter and whatever else," Swan said laughing.
Then, under the faint yellow glow of the lights on street posts, the three of them continued their journey home. Their long shadows trailing behind, nothing could separate them. Although knitted together most fortunately by such unforeseen circumstances, the three were proud to continue as a family.
As the world's definition of a modern family.
THE END