A few days passed and Oli had liked a couple of my posts on instagram, which was more 'keeping in touch' than he'd ever done previously, but he hadn't been in contact about the coffee we were still meant to be having. While he posted a lot on instagram, he'd only posted one photo since the flower which was of clouds in the sky, with the caption 'daydreaming'. It was nice that we were staying in touch, even if it was only by means of liking each others photos.
Out of the blue one day, I received a private message from him inviting me to a party. It was kind of weird as we weren't really chatting, but I decided to go. I'd had enough movie nights on my own and so many long phone conversations with Behati that I was happy to get out and talk to other people. I wasn't sure what kind of party it was, other than that it was at a popular bar near Covent Garden. It had been so long since I'd dressed up and gone out, so I was pretty excited.
I didn't want to go too crazy so I decided to dress somewhere between smart casual and bar/club sexy – a leather jacket, over an almost-offensively-short black lace dress. In my defense, it had long arms and a high neck, so at least I was keeping the top half well covered. My legs had always been, in my opinion, one of my best assets, so I decided to leave them bare with some black stilettos to finish the outfit. I pinned my hair back and threw on some makeup and spritzed on some perfume. Addict by Dior seemed appropriate for the black lace. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I wondered if I was overdressed... did I dress too sexy? I didn't know if part of me wanted to impress Oli, or whether I really did just feel like getting dressed up, but after weeks of living in lounge wear and gym gear, I felt good as I stepped out the door with my hair styled, my eyes perfectly smokey and a sparkly, lacey dress on. It was actually the first time I'd really dressed up since I'd been with John.
The tube ride over wasn't too bad being that it was a Friday night and there were a lot of people headed out for a night on the town, though a couple of guys did try and hit on me which was definitely unwanted.
When I arrived at the address, Oli was out the front with a couple of people smoking, though he wasn't smoking himself. I truly think it was just a coincidence that he was out there as I arrived, but it was certainly going to make my entrance into a room full of people I didn't know a lot less awkward. I was still quite a way away when I noticed one of Oli's friends was staring over his shoulder at me as I approached and looked me up and down less than discreetly. I guess the others noticed his gaze toward me as they both turned around.
"Hey" I eventually said, feeling as though I was awkwardly interrupting whatever they were talking about.
"Hello." Oli said smilling. The others said hello and put their cigarettes out, saying they would see us upstairs, and then disappeared inside. I could see that Oli was trying to not look me up and down.
"You scrub up alright Mr Sykes," I said stepping back and looking him up and down in a button up shirt and black pants. He laughed.
"Me?" he quipped. "What about you?! Holy shit." he said. I realised he had never seen me outside of casual clothing. He tried not to be too obvious but he was staring, and I wont lie, it felt good.
"How are you?" I asked, now stepping in for a quick hello hug. I think he'd already been drinking because I could already smell the beer.
"I'm good." he said before saying we should go in and see everyone. He asked how I'd got there and he insisted that he would be driving me home because 'no girl should travel on the tube alone at night'. I said 'sure' but knew he would definitely not be in any state to drive by time I wanted to head home.
We went inside where the party was happening; an open dance floor downstairs and an upstairs area where the bar was serving drinks. The first familiar face I saw was Emma; Jordan's girlfriend who had been at the Green Day concert and had initiated conversation with me. I hoped they wouldn't all think I was an asshole for running off and not properly saying goodbye, but my fears were put to sleep as she waved to me with a smile.
"I'll go get us some drinks." Oli said, touching my back then heading away toward the bar. "Joy!" Emma said reaching out her free hand for a half-hug. "Wow, you look amazing!" she said looking me up and down.
"Thankyou," I said. "So do you!" I added. She definitely wasn't dressed up as much as I was, but she did look beautiful. Jordan was beside her and looked me up and down too. He smirked and took a long sip of his drink.
"What?" I said curiously.
"Nothing." he said grinning before Emma hit him on the arm. I had clearly missed something. "You just look nice." he said with a smile.
"Joy?" I heard from behind.
"Oh hey Micky." I said, as he arrived beside me.
"Jesus, you look amazing." he said without any type of filter. The compliment was nice, but in a way it was a little awkward.
"Has Oli seen you yet?" he asked, taking a sip from his beer. Before I could respond, Jordan shot him a 'wtf' type look.
"Yeah, I ran into him outside, he's gone to get drinks." I replied. It got really quiet, even though I wasn't really sure why and I wasn't sure what was going on.
"Joy, let's go to the ladies room." Emma suggested, finally ending the awkward silence. I gladly obliged.
"It's so nice to see you again!" Emma quipped once we were confined within the walls of the ladies room. "I'm glad you guys are hanging out." she added, meaning Oli and I. I wasn't sure what she meant exactly, but it didn't really matter because I was happy about it too. When we emerged from the bathroom, Oli was standing with Jordan and Micky - as well as Lee who I'd met the at the pub, and 2 other guys that I didn't know. Again, they all went quiet when they realized we were coming back. There was definitely something going on that I wasn't in on. I guess they were probably talking about me, or girls in general.
"Joy, this is Matt - he's the other band guy you haven't met yet, and this is Josh - he's the Birthday boy." Oli said introducing the new additions to the group.
"It's nice to meet you both." I responded, making sure to make eye contact with both of them.
The party was actually fun, despite the fact that I didn't really know anyone apart from Oli at the start of the night. A few hours in and I was sitting with Emma, Dani and Nat; the girlfriends of the guys. They informed me that Oli and Micky were the only single ones in the band. They also randomly – or maybe purposely - told me how unlucky in love Oli was. I guess they didn't know what had happened after the Green Day concert... that he'd driven me home, and that he'd told me about being cheated on before. I had remembered Oli saying that he should have broken up with his latest girlfriend sooner, and I thought even though it wasn't really my business, that it was the perfect opportunity to ask what had happened.
"So, I don't know if I'm allowed to ask, but, what happened with Oli and his girlfriend?" I asked. As soon as I brought it up, they all groaned, looked away or rolled their eyes. "He told me that he broke up with her..." I added.
"Amanda..." Dani said. "She was an absolute piece of work." she said, taking a sip of her cocktail. "He finally broke up with her a couple of months ago."
"It was actually the day after Reading festival." Emma explained to Dani.
"Well I'm glad he did..." she said. "She treated him like shit. I swear she was only ever there to try and grow her own following and to be seen." Dani continued. The others nodded.
"She's been posting shit about him and harassing him online since they broke up." Emma said shaking her head in disgust.
"That's horrible!" I said, feeling really bad for him. It suddenly dawned on me that maybe that's why he'd not really kept in touch, or posted on instagram. And I remembered the other day in Hyde Park where he said he had a lot going on that he didn't want to bore me with. Maybe this was what he was referring to.
"He's such a nice guy once you know him too." Emma said. "He just seems to attract the wrong girls." she added. God, did I know that feeling all too well.
Oli's brother Tom arrived at the table with a camera around his neck and interrupted the conversation, asking if he could borrow me for a minute. To be honest, I was kind of glad as the conversation - while informative - was sad and was hitting a little too close to home, and I really didn't want to be thinking about this stuff at a party. I scanned the room and found Oli laughing with his friends, so at least that made me feel better.
"I was thinking if you wanted a couple of shots for your portfolio, this is a pretty great backdrop!" he said excitedly as we walked toward the empty bar. I could see his point, with the polished wood bar, warm lighting and leather upholstered stools looking rather expensive. Tom now had his camera in hand, and I figured I didn't really have much of a choice. I sat on the stool and crossed my legs, making sure to avoid any unfortunate wardrobe malfunctions. I noticed a few people watching, and I started laughing. It felt weird that this was happening at someone's party, and I could only imagine what everyone else was thinking. Tom started laughing and told me to keep a straight face but I couldn't. I tried to contain my smile, and I think he might have gotten a couple between laughter, but as more and more people tried to see what we were doing, I just couldn't pose seriously. He came up to the bar and scrolled back through some of the photos. I laughed loudly at some of them, they were terrible but they were still cool. He did manage to get 1 where I almost looked angry for a split second, so I told him it was a job well done. Oli appeared out of nowhere as we were winding down our laughter and asked what we were doing. Tom handed him the camera and Oli started laughing as he went through. I had never seen him smile like that, and it made me completely forget about the conversation I'd had with the girls just 10 minutes ago.
"This one is my favourite." he said, handing me the camera with a laugh. It was the one where I almost looked like I was about to fall off the stool since I was laughing so much.
The party was starting to get pretty crazy, but I was enjoying dancing around with the girls and the guys at some point too. I felt like they had accepted me and that I'd made friends, which was the most amazing feeling. I tried not to drink too much, but I was constantly being handed drinks from Oli and Micky. Anyone would think they were trying to get me drunk. We all sang to the birthday boy, and it got out of control when he decided that cutting the birthday cake would be less fun than grabbing handfuls of it and throwing it at certain people; Oli included. It was hilarious to watch - from a safe distance.
By midnight, it was wild. It seemed like everyone had thrown their inhibitions out the door. Oli and Micky were dancing around shirtless after losing the cake battle, Dani and Nat were passed out on a lounge, and Jordan was going around telling anyone who would listen theories about aliens. I stood there just laughing to myself at the entire situation. Emma was on the same page as me, citing that someone needed to stay sober to get everyone home and telling me that she's not a big drinker anyway. Oli came over to chat with me at different points throughout the night, but he was constantly being dragged away by the boys to dance or drink or... play in cake. I didn't really mind, I was enjoying the conversations I was having with Emma and the girls before they passed out.
At 1am, I checked the time. Shit. I only had about 30 minutes until the last train back to my station. I found Emma and let her know the situation and that I would have to head off. I had enjoyed being out of the house, and I had loved getting to know the group more, but people were starting to dwindle and it seemed it was mostly just Oli and his group of friends left anyway. They were still having fun, but the bar had closed at midnight, so everyone was sobering up a bit. The girls had woken up again, but were ready to leave, so I figured it was time.
I headed onto the dancefloor and waved in Oli's face to get his attention.
"I'm going to get going." I said with a smile. "Thankyou so much for inviting me, I had a great night." I added. He stared at me for a moment, then grabbed my hand.
"No!" he said, dragging me behind him toward the back of the venue. "Do you have to go?" he asked, looking me seriously through his dilated eyes. The music was loud I could barely hear him, so I suggested we go outside by pointing to the door. He grabbed my hand again and dragged me out into the courtyard which was leafy and green and covered with fairy lights. I figured it must have been the smoking area, though there was nobody out there now.
He stopped and turned, looking at me like he wanted to say something, so I asked what was up. Out of nowhere, his expression got serious and his eyes sunk to the floor. He had sobered up a bit, but he still seemed more talkative, outgoing and loud than usual, and he had a bit of a drunken slur.
"I'm sorry for not being in touch since the night of the concert." he said, his eyes suddenly looking up to mine. "I didn't know what to say... and I didn't want you to think I was trying it on with you after what happened." he added. I was surprised at the honesty. It was nice, but really out of the blue, so it took me a moment to respond.
"I never thought you were like that..." I said reassuringly. He sighed deeply, then grabbed both of my hands and looked me dead in the eye.
"You're such a great person." he said. I was a little taken back, but I guess it was also nice.
"So are you." I said leaning in to hug him. "I really like talking to you, I just thought you probably thought I was too much drama after everything." I said, still hugging him. I truly did think he was a nice person, considering he seemed to be the person there for me whenever I needed saving. His body started to feel heavy, like he was falling asleep on me. Was he actually passing out on me right now?!
"Oli" I said, releasing my embrace with a little laugh. He smiled and closed his eyes in a funny drunk kind of way, and I giggled to myself.
"Oli, I have to go or I'm going to miss the last train home." I said.
"No, no." he said, suddenly jolting back from me. "Not at this time of night!" he added. I guess given my outfit, and how far I had to go, he may have had a point.
"OK, well I will take a taxi, but I still have to head home, OK?" I said, reassuring him that I would be fine.
"Come and stay with me." he exclaimed. Ummm, what? I wasn't sure what he meant. At his house? A hotel room? I didn't get the feeling he was implying a hook up or anything, but I hadn't really known him long and then there was the fact that he was drunk... what if tomorrow he woke up and was horrified that I was there?
"We have a house, you can have my room and I'll sleep on the couch." he said.
"Uhhh..." I just said, trying to figure out if this was totally weird or not. At least a house with whoever "we" was, was less weird than a hotel room.
"Please!" he begged as I took way too long to figure out what to say. I must admit, taking a taxi all the way back to Hendon through the city was going to take forever AND cost an arm and a leg... but did I really want go and stay with him? I barely knew him.
I was trying to decide what to do when the door flew open and Jordan emerged from inside. "We're going back to the house for more drinks, are you two coming?" he asked. Oli looked at me eagerly and after quickly analyzing the situation, I said yes. Oli's face immediately lit up like a Christmas tree and Jordan laughed. The fact that they were partying on made it much less weird, and I could always call a taxi from there if I wanted to anyway. So now I was going to some house with Oli and his friends.
"Let's go then!" Jordan said motioning to the door.