The day before our flight to Tahiti, things began to quickly plummet from the high they'd been on since the beginning of the trip, my curiosity about George's secret consuming every thought I had.
The breaking point was when George had privately gone into the bathroom to talk on the phone, being strange about why he didn't call from the telephone on the desk that was in the main part of the room.
"Is everything good to go for tonight then?" I listened into the conversation he was having with some mysterious person on the phone in the bathroom. My ear was pressed up against the door no longer being able to be kept in the dark about what was going on.
"If I tell her that I'm stepping out to get some champagne do you think I can come talk to you? It's just not the same over the phone." He continued on, although I could only faintly make our what he was saying, loosing the next sentence he said to the person at the other end of the line.
"I don't think she suspects anything, she's always sort've been that way." He laughed causing me to scoff, feeling every ounce of my being light up with fury, thinking of the worst.
I quickly, desperately needing to know if my thoughts matched reality, ran to the other telephone set to listen into the conversation.
"I'll see you soon Mr. Harrison." I heard an island girl giggle fondly.
"Bye bye now love." George replied contentedly before hanging up. His voice rung with an elatedness I rarely ever heard, causing my stomach to churn unsettlingly.
Quickly, putting down the telephone I walked over to my bag and pretending to sort through my things hearing him walk out from the bathroom.
"Who was that on the telephone?" I asked sweetly although feeling my stomach dropping more intensely than it ever had before.
"John," He shrugged nonchalantly, "he says I should go fetch all of us some champagne from the lobby so we can all go spend some time in their room, I'll be right back alright love?" He spoke kindly with a smile. It seemed like an obvious lie, despite how sincere he appeared.
I clenched my teeth behind my grin, beginning to question what was real and what was made up. I couldn't believe what was happening, I felt like I were in some terrible nightmare. I never thought George would ever lie to me, especially not about talking to another girl.
"Oh no problem." I nodded as he thanked me and hastily left the room.
I felt my anger overrule my shattering heart, deciding impulsively to follow him at a distance and see the girl he was seeing firsthand. I wanted to think this was a big misunderstanding and that maybe I was jumping too quickly to conclusion. It was difficult to imagine George betraying my trust in that way, but he had been acting oddly kind to me for weeks now.
I grabbed a room key and followed him carefully at a distance, feeling as if I were on the brink of insanity. I hated the envy I felt like I was some deranged girlfriend that had no faith in her boyfriend, because I usually was so trusting of George.
What I found didn't ease my mind whatsoever.
Hiding behind some hotel shrubbery, I watched as George and a thin gorgeous young island girl lead him out to a private little dining area overlooking the beach. They chatted on and on, George looking so passions about the subject of their conversation.
Unbelieving of what I saw, I stormed off back upstairs to our hotel room. Slamming the door I locked myself in the room, breaking down into tears as I threw myself into the bed.
The sound of knocking at the door filled my ears moments after I'd slammed it.
"Poppy?" I heard Cynthia call nervously, her room being right next to ours.
"Leave me alone!" I shouted frustratedly, unable to keep myself from sounding like I was crying.
"What's wrong dear?" Cynthia demanded anxiously, never hearing me talk to her in that way.
"Why don't you ask George? He's the one lying to me about where he's going to meet with girls." I felt sick to my stomach at the mere thought of it.
There was a dead silence from the other side of the door for what seemed like forever before hearing the key being put into the keyhole, twisting its way open before being stopped by the door chain I'd locked.
"Poppy, can we please talk?" Cynthia has obviously gone running off to George to tell him I'd seen him by the sound of desperation in his voice.
"Poppy isn't here." I responded childishly, staring emptily at the ceiling, feeling numb from the amount of weeping I'd done.
"I'm not cheating on you." He spoke firmly, causing my heart to feel like it was being pulled out directly from my chest.
"Then who was that?" I responded feeling the tears begin again.
"Nobody, Poppy I can't tell you exactly-" he started.
I got up from the bed and opened the door, needing him to see how broken my trust was.
"Then why should I trust you?" I spoke bluntly.
His face contorted frustratedly.
"Because I love you, how is this supposed to work if you don't trust me and what I say?" He became defensive quickly, making anger rise in me spitefully.
"I've always trusted you George, you should know that better than anyone else. You're worshipped by millions of girl across the world, and I've never once before questioned if you'd ever go after someone when you go away touring. It's just, you've been acting strange for awhile now and, this," I shook my head.
"Poppy, you seriously think I would do something like that? I love you." He spoke looking me directly in my eyes.
I couldn't tell if he was being truthful or manipulating me like when I had dated the boy back in Liverpool before George, who used to say the same things when he was cheating on me with Iris.
"What good is it when I don't know what's real anymore?"
_______________
That night George had slept in John's room and Cynthia slept in mine, not daring to speak a word about George.
The next day we had found ourselves in Tahiti, boarding a boat that we would be staying on to sail around the islands. I still hadn't talked to George, or much at all for that matter. Cynthia had strongly encouraged me not to go home, asking me to try and at least try and talk things out with George before I made any decisions I'd come to regret.
It wasn't until we hit a rough channel of water while we were on the boat did things begin to drastically change the path the trip was heading down.
The monstrous waves rocked the boat causing all of us to feel extremely nauseous, everyone unable to go on the lower level of the boat because of the fumes from the running engine that fought hard against the current.
Rain poured down on the four of us and the crew of the ship as we held onto the ropes and railings on the deck to avoid falling overboard, all of us wearing raincoats to try and shield ourselves from becoming completely soaked.
I began soon to feel my throat tighten after the gusts of wind coming from every which way made in difficult to breathe, in sign of what I hadn't thought of in months.
I gasped for air, looking over to the other three wide eyed.
"What's wrong?" George's expression mirrored mine already knowing what was the matter, his face flushing of colour more than it already had been as he had been stood holding the railing next to me.
I held onto my throat beginning to panic as I could only take in half of a breath, knowing this was the worst possible moment for this to happen. Feeling myself squirm in sheer fright, I felt the familiar feeling of my chest tightening.
"She's having an asthma attack." Cynthia gasped having seen one of them in action before. I heard the four of them begging to panic unsure of what to do before George spoke up.
"Did you bring your puffer?" George at me gently, deciding to put our fight behind us with fear beginning to consume him.
I nodded with a cough remembering Brian nagging me to bring it "just in case" although I hadn't had an attack in a long time. At the time I thought he was overthinking things, but in the moment I couldn't seem to stop thanking him.
"My bag." I managed to speak over the rain before seeing George unsteadily get up and run down to the lower level. I became worried as it was dangerous to go down there with all the fumes.
I began to feel lightheaded, my eyelids becoming heavy.
"Don't you go fainting." Cynthia spoke in a motherly fashion, making me laugh over the gasps loosing even more breath.
"Hold on." John spoke before coming to my side and grabbing ahold of the ropes I could barely grasp anymore and with the other hand grabbing around my waist to sturdy me.
Before I knew it my eyes started to close involuntarily just as I heard George yelling that he'd got it.
Everything became hazy as I felt myself being transferred to George's arms, the puffer finding its way to my mouth.
"It's alright." George whispered in my ear after I had inhaled a few sprays of the puffer, brushing pieces of wet hair away from my face.
________________
I hadn't spoken much since the attack, actually feeling weirdly bad for George, who seemed miserable. I knew things had really turned out the opposite of how he probably hoped they would go, but I don't know if I could ever forgive him if he was really doing what it seemed like he'd been doing.
We spent some time in the hut George and I were staying in that night, George writing some lyrics at the desk as I laid closing my eyes laying in bed unable to sleep.
My entire body was aching from earlier and my head was pulsating intensely, I could hardly begin to fathom getting up from underneath the sheets of the bed, George actually having helped me out of my wet clothes and into pyjamas because of how weak I felt from the asthma attack.
We had both oddly just pushed our argument out of our minds for the moment, knowing neither of us were in the mood to pick a fight.
Before long I felt George slip himself beside me underneath the covers despite it only being around six o'clock, wrapping his arms around me from behind as I was laying on my side, surprising me.
Already having been emotional from everything leading up to this moment, I began to feel the sensation on burning in my eyes on the verge of crying.
We laid there together silently for a moment, it feeling right just to be held in his arms.
"Please don't ever scare me like that again." George whispered lowly into my ear, my heart melting at his gentleness.
I had finally let out a sob, rolling over to my back, staring deeply into his eyes.
"I'm sorry." I cried feeling guilty about what I had said earlier. I hadn't meant the hurtful things I said about not believing he loved me.
I loved George Harrison with every single ounce of my being and I knew he felt the same, but I couldn't stood myself from being hurt by him sneaking around with another girl even though I knew it happened with all the other girls, Cynthia, Jane, Maureen.
"No, love I'm sorry, I owe you a serious explanation." George sat up and got off of the bed, walking around to my side. He held out a hand for me to grab to get up prepared to tell me everything.
I grabbed onto it apprehensively, getting helped to my feet as George took both of my hands in his.
"This isn't exactly how I'd pictured doing this," George evidently became as nervous as he was acting for a majority of the trip.
"I know how it seemed, but that girl was helping me set up a night for the two of us." He began.
"Why didn't you just tell me that?" I asked feeling confusion and guilt to cloud up my thoughts.
"Because, I wanted to surprise you when I asked you to be my wife." He smiled becoming slightly emotional himself.
I felt myself gasp as he reached into his back pocket, pulling out a small box. I went into a state of shock, everything immediately making sense, realizing how stupid I'd been.
"I am convinced that I there will never be anyone else that makes me feel things as strongly as you do," He began, causing me to chuckle as a tear escaped my eye.
"No matter what happens between us I can't stop myself from wanting just to be with you for the rest of my life, through the highs and lows,"
"I know I shouldn't have overthought it and just been outright with it, but I wanted to make you feel as special as you make me feel every day." He smiled opening up the lid of the box to reveal the ring.
"I guess all that was just my way of trying to say, I love you unconditionally. Penelope Anne Epstein, will you marry me?" He smiled fully, causing me to become overwhelmed with emotions, all the negative thoughts and feelings completely disappearing from my mind.
"Yes."