Saturday
January 17, 1978
The Library
You know what's interesting? Look at the date. Exactly! It's been an entire week since my last entry. The reason behinds this is of course because all of our Professors think that because we're back from holidays that we're prepared and excited to do MORE ASSIGNMENTS. This is, of course, partly true because I have an excuse to live in the Library, but at the same time... I have things to do, you know? Anyway, I have decided to compile a short(ish) list of all of the things of interest that have occurred this week in order to be more time-efficient (a phrase Murphy has been drumming into us over the past few days).
A Complete List of the Somewhat Intriguing Events of the Past Week Compiled by One Evelyn K. O. Bishop.
1. The Bloody Prat Quartet apparently thought it had been too long since their last shenanigan and set off dungbombs in every single Common Room including their own, much to the annoyance of Lily and I. James received a rather stern talking to (a rather stern yelling to, really) right in the middle of the Great Hall by both Lily and Marlene which was entertaining to watch, to say the least. Black was the only one with enough sense to get out of there when he saw them coming, smoke pouring out of their ears, and Remus just lifted his book higher over his face, so James got the brunt of it.
2. I took it upon myself to tell Black off during our Monday Potions class, which went down surprisingly well. That is, to say, it went less awfully than usual, as there were no threats of hexes and only two smirky glances.
3. I gave Mark Abery another tutoring session! I figured it had been a while and it would be nice to mix it up a bit, so we went through our charms together and I was rather pleased to see that his charm work was much improved. He also told me that he decided that the pairing of himself and Julie Ansen was not quite as wonderful as he imagined it would be, and they broke up. He apparently is working on a plan to ask out Louise McKendrick which I think has been a long time coming, and will hopefully stop her giving me death glares every time Mark talks to me.
4. On the Mark thing, he had the BLATANT AUDACITY to ask me the most ridiculous question I have ever heard in my whole entire life. Would anyone like to guess what it is? Because there is no way in Merlin's soggy, yellow dentures that a question such as that cross the mind of a sane, rational person. Mark dared to ask me if I, one Evelyn Bishop, have feelings for one Sirius Black, my bane-of-existence-turned-friend-and-confidant.
5. McGonagall, much to our surprise, did not give us detention for the rest of the year, but did indeed give us a long lecture about our actions, describing us as 'foolhardy hooligans', 'irrationally brave' and 'altogether idiotic Gryffindors,' which sounds like a collection of fun band names. If only I played guitar.
6. Remus is being cute but kind of clingy. I want to be able to talk to him about things like we used to but I feel like I can't at the moment and it's really confusing.
7. Let's go back to the Mark Abery thing, because I have not been able to stop thinking about it all week! I cannot get over what a ridiculous idea it would be that I would ever have feelings for Black, the stupid, dumb, foolhardy, arrogant idiot, especially when I am already dating Remus, the love of my life. RIDICULOUS!
Well, I think that brings us up to speed.
On another note, it's Lily's birthday in about two weeks, which means that I have two weeks to plan her party. It seems the general party trend has been, as my mother would say, to go 'above and beyond,' but honestly, I doubt Lily gives a hippogriff's leg as to whether or not she has a large birthday bash, especially after everything that's just gone on.
Oh, something else I haven't mentioned. The Slytherins. We, of course, were quite adamant as to the identities of those who were the guilty party to the incident at the Macdonald house, but it seems there is a bit of an issue with properly identifying the culprits. The issue is that multiple professors can swear that the guilty parties we named were in fact serving detention at the time, and as we have no 'hard proof' they can't really face any real retribution.
This, of course, all sounds like utter poppycock to me, and also to Sirius Black and James Potter, who spent half an hour raging around Dumbledore's office screaming bloody murder, all for Dumbledore to say, "It's out of my hands, but I will be keeping a close eye on them."
Lily made a frustratingly good point that the Ministry is practically run by the pureblood elitists and that if Dumbledore were to do anything against their wishes the board could have him removed, which would be less than ideal. Hence, it kind of is out of his hands.
So, we've decided to keep an eye on them ourselves, especially since Mary's decided to take some time off of school. Lily's made it her personal mission to watch Donnan Mulciber's every move, as apparently he did something awful to Mary last year and she wants to make sure he doesn't do anything again.
Oh, speaking of awful, here comes Black... and is that... Aislin Murphy? For Merlin's sake, I thought he had given that up! They had better not be snogging, that girl is no good for him. She's a Hufflepuff for starters, and she's awfully petty. I wouldn't put it past her to do something awful to anyone who got in her way. Perhaps that's why they call Hufflepuffs hardworking, hey? She's certainly trying to reach her goal, that is, if her goal is Sirius Black.
Anyway, I think I'm just going to follow them, because it's not really like him to just come into the library, you know? Besides, I need a break from my assignments and I'm allowed to talk to my friends, aren't I?
Saturday
January 17, 1978
The Library
So, the craziest thing just happened. Aislin Murphy had a complete meltdown, and I witnessed the whole thing. This was partly because I was spying on her, and partly because at one point she was so loud that the whole library must have heard her.
This is what happened.
I followed Black and Aislin through the bookshelves and then stopped abruptly as Aislin giggled and grabbed his hand, spinning him around and pushing him against the bookshelves. I could see Black's face from where I was standing, peering through a gap in the bookshelf, and he seemed surprised but made no efforts to stop what she was doing.
"I've missed you, Siri," she said, and I almost threw up into my mouth.
"Yeah, Ais, um, there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about," Black began.
"No talking," Aislin said, leaning up and pressing her mouth against his.
I just kind of stood there as they started snogging, somewhat intrigued and somewhat disgusted. Now, don't get me wrong, I wasn't just standing there watching them snog, because that would be creepy, but for some wretched reason I couldn't get what Mark Abery said out of my head. For the first time in my life, I was thinking about what it would be like to...
Merlin, I can't even say it.
Not that there's anything to say.
Sorry, I just almost threw up again.
Remus Lupin.
Moving on.
So, as I was attempting to say, Aislin and Black were snogging against the shelves for a short while before Black just kind of ducked his head out of the way and said, "Hold up a sec, Aislin."
"What is it?" she whined.
"Well, the thing is, is that I brought you here to tell you that I think our little rendezvous need to end... So, this sort of thing? It needs to stop."
"Are you kidding me?" She took a step back. "You're kidding me, right?"
"No, I'm not."
Aislin paused for a moment, as if working out what to say. Actually, she probably was working out what to say. Never mind, then.
"Is it because of her?" she finally asked.
Something undiscernable flashed across Black's face as he said, "No, don't be silly."
"Because she's never going to love you, you have to know that."
"I said it's not because of her."
Ooh, there's a her? Now, some people have been known to refer to me as slightly oblivious sometimes, but honestly, I never would have guessed that Sirius Black, lover of all women, would ever want to be the lover of just one woman. Poor girl. I wonder who she is?
"You're a real git, Black," she said, before spinning on her heels and storming out of the library, yelling obscenities at him all the way.
Black stayed leaning against the bookshelves for a few seconds before a little bit too dramatically sinking down to the floor. And people say I'm a drama queen.
I decided to leave him in his state of pensive thought and head back to my study, partly because I needed to get some study done, partly because I thought it would be impolite to say, "So, Black, how's it going? Break up with Aislin lately? A girl you haven't been seeing romantically but she still really likes you despite your probably no-strings-attached relationship? Also, heard everything that just happened, privacy shmivacy, am I right? Ooh, heard you might have proper feelings for a proper person, ain't that crazy! Who knew, right? So radical. Anyway, let me know if you want to talk about it, or..."
I think you can see why I chose to head back to my study spot.
Anyway, despite my heading back to my study spot, studying away, within a few minutes I saw Sirius Black pop his head out from behind the bookshelves, and I made the terrible mistake of making eye contact with him. This, of course, led to him coming over to my private study spot.
I didn't have any issue with him coming to talk to me, my issue was with the fact that I knew something about him that I wasn't supposed to know.
This, of course, was a cause of great stress in my life as I furiously scribbled onto my parchment, hoping that the eye contact thing was a mere blip and he was thinking 'that's enough of Eva for one day' and wouldn't come over.
Alas, alack.
"Eva!" Black smiled, sitting down on the other side of the window seat. I didn't think it was pertinent to mention before, but my study spot is one of the aforementioned window seats, also known as the most prime study spot in the whole building. It's nice because of the natural light, when it's not snowing of course, and today was one of those miraculous days where the sun was shining, and I could see clearly down on the grounds below.
"Hi, Black," I said, casually as one can. "What brings you to this neck of the woods?"
"Oh, not much," he replied, "I was just in the area and saw you and I thought I'd come say hi."
"Oh, well hi, then."
"Hi."
I kept writing, hoping if I pretended he wasn't there then he wouldn't be.
After a few moments I looked up and found him just looking at me, an odd little smile on his face.
I felt my cheeks redden, much to my consternation.
He was sitting in the way he always does, feet on furniture and as relaxed as possible. His arms rested on his knees and his hands dangled down, long and lithe. His hair swept across his forehead and brushed against his eyes, eyes like the moon on a clear night, and they were still looking right at me.
We sat there looking at each other for a few seconds before I snapped out of it. "What are you looking at, Black?"
"You," was his response.
"Well, stop. I've got work to do and it's distracting."
"Alright, I'll look out the window."
I looked up again and he was looking out the window, much to my relief. I looked out through the rose coloured glass and saw Remus walking across the grounds in our direction.
I waved instinctively, trying to get his attention, but Black grabbed my wrist and said, "No, don't."
At that exact moment Remus looked up, but his face went stony.
Black sighed, letting go of my wrist. "I'm gonna go, let you get back to your study."
"I mean, it's fine," I said. "You're not that distracting."
"You may be the first person in the world to say that," he said with a laugh. "I've got things to do anyway."
"Alright, well, bye then."
"Farewell and good tidings, Evelyn," he said, waving goodbye and disappearing past a bookshelf.
Unfortunately, I wasn't able to concentrate on studying again for the rest of the hour.
Wednesday
January 21, 1978
The Library
If you were to ask me if I live in the Library then the answer would be yes. Although, I don't sleep or eat in the Library, so now that I think about it I don't technically live here.
The point being, is that I have been spending an awfully large amount of time in the Library of late, mostly to do my assignments but also to have some time with my own thoughts.
I've been a bit at war with my thoughts recently. You know when your brain starts thinking something, and you're like, 'no brain, that's the opposite of what I want to do,' but your brain just kind of winks at you and keeps going? Well that's sort of what's been happening. I'm not going to write it down, because if I were to write it down then it would give life to the thought and I really don't want to do that, but I still need to get it off my chest in the only way I know how.
Now that that's been said, let's discuss more pertinent issues. For example, Remus Lupin.
You're probably aware, but Remus is my boyfriend. Actually, we never have had that conversation... We've just, well, been.
Let's start again.
You're probably aware, but Remus has been seeing me romantically. This, of course, is something that I have been looking forward to for a considerable amount of time. Now I think of myself as relatively self-aware, but just because I'm self-aware doesn't mean that I want to be. Again, I should get to the point of all of this: I don't know if I love Remus.
Phew.
That was hard for me to write. If this was a book, I think the correct term would be character development.
So obviously I love Remus, but there have been some things I have been noticing in the past few weeks that are causing me to doubt the nature of this love.
A Brief List of All of the Things that Have Happened Recently that Has Been Making One Evelyn K. O. Bishop Doubt the Nature of Her Love for One Remus. J. Lupin.
1. The snogging. Now, let me clarify, the snogging isn't bad, there's just a lot of that and not much of anything else. It's like Remus doesn't know how healthy relationships work. Actually, he probably doesn't, which is... well, it's a little bit sad. Let's not focus on that.
2. The talking. As mentioned previously, there hasn't been an overwhelming amount of conversation, and that was one of the things that made me love Remus in the first place.
3. The moodiness. Now, I know he's got a werewolf sized chip on his shoulder, but I don't understand why he feels the need to get grumpy at me regularly for doing basic things like hanging out with my friends. Let's remember the Hogsmeade occasion where we ran into Black at a bookstore and then Remus hurried us outside before we could even buy anything, and then got upset when I wanted to go back in.
4. I realised I don't really need him to help me with my Ancient Runes homework after all.
That's it. Everything else about Remus is good. He's still as handsome as ever, as intelligent, witty, adventurous. He still spends more time reading than I do, which believe me, is a very attractive quality.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm re-evaluating a bit. I think with everything that's happened recently I've realised that I need to start thinking a bit more seriously about things. We've got actual, real life problems to sort out. It wasn't too long ago that Remus himself was involved in a life-threatening series of events.
So now that that's all out in the air, onto a more cheerful topic.
Lily's birthday is on the 30th of January, so nine days away now.
For some reason, I always end up being the party planning committee. I think this is because I'm the only one who isn't Head Girl that finishes their homework on time, so I apparently have the most free time. The issue with this is that I don't like planning parties. You know what? I'm going to go find Lottie and force her to help me. Homework shmomework.
That's a lie. I've finished my homework for the day.
Wednesday
January 21, 1978
Gryffindor Girls Dormitory
I have successfully located Charlotte Ansen! Lottie has been apparently 'studying hard' in our dorm, but she's got no books open and was napping when I walked in, so I'm somewhat doubtful of the legitimacy of that claim.
She woke up when I came in and so far has seemed quite glad to have an excuse not to be studying.
"What about an elephant," she suggested. "We could have an elephant at the party!"
"I'm gonna let you take a moment to actually think about that, and while you're re-evaluating your life choices, I'm going to suggest some legitimate options."
Lottie pouted but seemed eager to hear my suggestions.
"Christmas themed."
"No. It's January."
"Exactly, it's ironic."
"No."
"Fruit themed."
"Firm no."
"Okay, so we gather the house elves, and-"
"No."
"You didn't even hear what I-"
"No."
"A clown themed party."
"No."
"That was a joke."
"Was it?"
"No. In other words, I have no idea what to do. I didn't ask for this burden, and yet I must carry it on my shoulders anyway."
"Why don't we just have food, firewhiskey and friends?" Lottie suggested after the time it took her to process my terrible ideas. "The three big Fs, well, three of the four."
"Merlin's twisted elbows Lottie, I think you're onto something!"
"Anything is better than a clown party, Eva. Especially if you're an adult."
"You make a reasonable argument. I hate clowns."
"Could you imagine if we actually threw Lily a clown themed party?" Lottie giggled. "I think she'd disown us. That or she'd have the boys excommunicate us from the group."
"Mmm, yeah. I don't really want to be excommunicated. I like you all far too much."
"Evelyn!" Lottie gasped, "You don't!"
"I know it must come as an awful surprise to you, but yes... I do," I dramatically flopped onto Lottie's bed. "Even Peter, who I'm still mad at for leaving you at the ball."
Lottie grimaced but decided to move on. "Even Sirius?"
"Even Sirius."
Lottie made a sound akin to someone choking.
"I don't know how to respond to that."
"Respond to what?" I said. "Black and I are friends. We hang out at times."
"No, not that," Lottie said. "You just called him Sirius."
"No, I didn't."
She grabbed me by the shoulders, "Uh, yes, you did." She shook me gently. "What's gotten into you lately?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Charlotte."
"You are the most hopeless person I have ever met, Evelyn."
"Take that back!"
"Not today, not ever!" was her only reply.
We dissolved into giggles, and lay laughing on her bed for what felt like forever. It was nice to finally spend some time just being girls, you know? It's all felt a bit like we've had to really be adults lately, and I don't really know if that's what I want.
I guess I don't really have a choice.
I guess none of us have a choice.
Thank goodness for birthday parties to numb the pain, right?
Ooh, that sentence sounds like it needs some unpacking but I'm not really in the mood to discuss my feelings right now.
On that note, I'm going to bed.
Monday
January 26, 1978
Transfiguration
Good golly, it's been a jolly long while since I've written anything in this class.
Would you believe I've forgotten to write in my diary over the past few days? If you did, you're wrong. Lily has decided that apparently I spend too much time 'wasting my life' by writing in my diary, and confiscated it.
She only gave it back to me at lunchtime after I promised her I'd spend less time writing in it.
We all know that's a lie.
Only joking, ha ha.
(I'm not joking. She's sitting next to me and I'm nervous she's going to notice that I'm writing in my diary instead of writing down what McGonagall is saying.)
The thing is, I have to write down this one thing that just happened, because it was totally crazy.
I say 'just happened' but honestly it was Thursday, which makes it, gosh, five days ago? Time flies, eh?
Anyway, I was just minding my own bloody business when Aislin Murphy fully just came at me with her wand in the corridor for no reason and with zero explanation!
I have been spending my time avoiding confrontation. I have been doing my part in keeping an eye on the Slytherins, and despite Avery's barbed comments and Snivellus' greasy hair I have kept to myself.
Unfortunately, Aislin Murphy, the irrational paperclip, thought it would be appropriate to try and hex me in the corridor. I was walking with Black from our Potions class when she just came around the corner and shouted some sort of spell gibberish at me. Luckily for me, Aislin is honestly rubbish at anything that isn't Divination (I think that statement speaks for itself) so the spell missed and hit a nearby suit of armour, causing the helmet to go clanging to the ground.
Before Black or I could do anything, Isadora James, for once the voice of reason, apologised profusely, grabbing Aislin's wand off her, and then dragged her down the corridor.
I just kind of stood there gawping for a second whilst Black threatened bloody murder. In the end I decided to leave it, because she's obviously got some issues to work through. Black seemed quite upset though, which honestly was quite nice. It's comforting when your friends look out for you.
Anyway, that's the whole short story, but it was kinda random, to say the least. I spend my life doing absolutely nothing to Aislin, and then suddenly she tries to attack me out of nowhere?
Definitely the weirdest thing that's happened this month, and this has been a weird month.
That's all. I should probably get back to taking notes before Lily decides Aislin was onto something and hexes me herself, and Lily never misses.
Saturday
January 31, 1978
Gryffindor Girls Dormitory
I've been trying to do my best by Lily and not spend my whole life incessantly writing and living in the moment, and I must admit, I've been doing a rather good job of it.
However, this pales in comparison to any of the events that have occurred last night at Lily's birthday party.
As Lottie, the Keeper of my Secret put it at about eleven yesterday, 'Merlin ain't got nothing on tonight.'
I think I may have difficulty writing this, as I'm honestly having difficulty coming to terms with it, but I'll give it my best shot. Also, I've got a raging headache, because I definitely drank too much last night.
So.
Lily's birthday.
We just had it in the Gryffindor Common Room, and like, everyone was there. Lily's kind of beloved around Hogwarts, you know, and so even though only like ten people knew about it there were a lot of people there.
I've definitely mentioned before, but I'm not really the party type. I spent most of the first part of the party sipping a butterbeer and firewhiskey mix and avoiding Remus because he wanted to dance and I preferred to keep all of my toes, thank you very much.
I ended up chatting to Frank Longbottom at one point, which was weird, because he should not have been able to get into the Common Room, but somehow there seemed to be quite a few people from other houses there.
James and Black were getting fairly rowdy. I think everyone was using the party as an excuse to let go of the stress we were all under, so inhibitions were loose, to say the least. Black's a bit of an annoying drunk, but he's very suave and frustratingly flirty, so my face was red for quite a portion of the evening, and it wasn't just from the firewhiskey.
Now I know what you're thinking, but calm down. It gets worse.
Besides, I was a little drunk, how did you expect me to react? With physical violence? I mean, I did hit him when he suggested we should snog, but otherwise I tried my best to ignore it. Speaking of ignoring people, Remus gave up trying to cajole me into dancing with him, so I think he decided his efforts were better spent elsewhere as he spent the better part of the night not talking to me but giving me sad eyes every couple minutes or so.
It was a whole thing, I don't want to talk about it.
But unfortunately, I have to.
You want to know why?
I'm just going to take a brief interlude and discuss how I am currently feeling in this moment. The rest of the girls are downstairs, chatting around the fire. I myself am clearly not with them, because of illness.
I have dubbed this feeling as illness because it makes my stomach feel all funny and I get all hot and fevery and also when you're sick you think irrationally, so it's an illness. And it's not just because of the hangover.
What caused this illness?
I'd like to say Aislin Murphy, but that's not true.
I suppose you could argue it was Sirius Black, but honestly, it was my own self that created this illness inside of me.
So, understandably, I'm quite annoyed at myself.
I guess I should probably explain.
I guess around ten thirty, when people were in the heights of their inebriation, I was wandering around looking for Lottie, when I saw Aislin Murphy out of the corner of my eye. Naturally, I was wondering what on earth she was doing at Lily's party, so I ducked around a snogging couple and attempted to follow her.
Slightly before this happened, I had started feeling the illness. The illness started when I looked at Sirius Black.
Now, Black was standing on a table, holding hands with James, singing a rude song that I didn't know the name of. He looked at me and grinned, and my stomach dropped out beneath me.
He said to his audience, "Excuse me, ladies and gents," and jumped off the table before striding toward me.
"Evelyn," he said, placing a hand on my arm. "Don't you look wonderful tonight."
This was typical drunk-Black talk, so I didn't think much of it. However, I felt myself saying, "Not as wonderful as you look in that shirt."
His mouth did a funny thing where it dropped open and he stood there gaping like a fish, before asking, "How much have you had to drink?"
"Only," I squinted at my glass, "four. Six. Eight. Three."
It was at this point that I noticed Aislin. "Look," I said, before Black could get a response out. "Is that Aislin Murphy? I'm going to follow her."
He took a second before reacting to what I'd said, and quickly followed me as I wandered around the Common Room.
I saw her slip out past the portrait, so I kept following her, winking at the fat lady as I trailed my suspect. Aislin wasn't hiding, however, and stood outside in the hallway as if she were waiting for us to find her.
"Enjoying your evening, Eva?" she smiled. She spoke like honey but for some reason it felt sour.
"What are you doing here, Aislin? You weren't invited."
She smiled wider as the portrait door open and closed and Black joined our conversation.
"Are you both enjoying your drinks?"
I glanced at my mug. It was firewhiskey mixed with butterbeer, and slightly too strong. It made me feel quite fuzzy at the edges.
"Why do you care about our drinks?" asked Black, coming to stand next to me.
"Oh, no reason really. I was just wondering if my special ingredient had started working yet."
I peered into my mug. I couldn't see any special ingredient.
Wait, what?
"Sorry?" I asked. "Special ingredient?"
"Yeah," she said, twirling her hair between her fingers. "A tiny dash of love potion. I thought I'd spice it up for you."
I suddenly felt a little bit sicker. I looked at Black. He looked at me.
"You did what?" Black asked slowly, keeping steady eye contact with me.
"Now you can know what I feel like. Enjoy, lovebirds."
I didn't notice her walk away.
Suddenly, all of the illness made sense.
"How are you feeling, Eva?" Black asked carefully. "Besotted at all?"
I know it seems silly to mention, but he does have really nice eyes.
"A little bit," I replied.
Black suddenly seemed very sober. "Ahh, so your comment earlier, was, um..."
"Are you besotted with me?" I interrupted. My voice seemed quite loud in my ears. My lips felt numb so I started patting my face. Mm. Numb.
"I can blame this all on love potion, so I'm going to tell you yes."
"Oh my gooooodness," I said. "That's so crazy! That's what I was thinking about myself. Because, you know, that time that you were shirtless in the forest, and I was like, oh my goodness, and you looked like, I dunno, a Christmas surprise..." I stopped rambling to sway a little bit.
Black quickly grabbed my waist to steady me.
"Ooh, Black, tell me what you really think."
"Oh, believe me, I want to," he said.
His face was awfully close.
Is this what love potion feels like? I didn't mind. Black's face looked like a picnic on a summer day.
"I think-"
"I think you should stop talking," Black said.
"Okay." I looked at his face which was getting closer by the second. "Did you drink it too?" I whispered.
"I think so," he whispered back. "It's the only explanation."
He leaned in and-
"What in Merlin's name is going on here," said Lottie, closing the portrait door.
I took a step back from Black.
"Love potion," I said, winking at her. "You should have some."
"What?" she said, looking alarmed.
"It was a present from Aislin, a secret special ingredient in my drink."
"And mine," said Black. "It was in mine too."
Lottie narrowed her eyes at him as she grabbed my arm. "I'm putting you to bed, Eva. How much have you had to drink?"
"Nothing," I said. "I had an orange, and that's all. Ha ha. I tricked you. I had more."
"Wonderful," was her only response. "Bed, let's go."
I let her take me up to our dormitory, blowing a kiss to a bewildered Black as I left him in the hallway.
Lottie walked me up to our room as best as she could and sat me down on my bed. Everything felt a little funny.
"Now, Eva, can you tell me what happened?"
"I was talking to Black, and I saw Aislin and was like, 'what's she doing here?' and so I followed her outside, and then Black followed me, and then she said she put love potion in my drink. I think it's illegal. But it's nice, I'm all fuzzy."
"Eva..." Lottie paused after saying my name. She looked quite concerned, which was understandable under the circumstances. "I'm going to tell you something because I think it's important that you know. You're a bit drunk right now, so I'm going to attribute everything you've done so far up to that, but sober you is going to want to know about this."
"I dunno what you're talking about."
"I saw Aislin put the potion in your drink. I saw her as she walked in, and I kept my eye on her, so I definitely saw it when it happened."
"And you let her? Damnnnn, Chaaaaaarlotty, that's not nice."
"Remember when I gave you a drink?"
"That was so nice!"
"I grabbed the drink she put it in before you drank it and gave you a new one."
"That's even nicer! Oh my goooodnesssss! You're like my bestest friend."
"Yeah. Um, so. You didn't have any love potion."
"But that makes no sense, you're talking like a silly person. Otherwise what was I doing with that handsome man downstairs."
"Good Merlin," was all Lottie said in response to that. "I'm just going to let you sleep on this, and we can talk in the morning. Have you still got any calming draught?"
"In my suitcase."
Lottie rummaged around until she found it. "Open wide."
I don't remember what happened after that.
I woke up this morning with a raging headache, and about ten minutes ago I remembered in far too much detail the events of last night.
This has forced me to confront my illness.
My disease.
This disease has been known to many before. I am not the first to feel this, nor will I be the last. Unfortunately for me, I didn't want to get sick, but here we are.
What is this illness, you ask?
I think I might have some repressed feelings for the bane of my existence, Sirius Black.
Today marks the day that my life reaches a whole new low.
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AN: As the kids say, that was a 'big yikes.'
No further comments.
Thank you all for being amazing. I love you almost as much as Eva loves living in denial.
OXO