Chapter 32
Livie smiled fondly at Josie. "I love you, Josie girl, you know that? You've got Hannah's feisty spirit in your veins, if not her blood."
Josie straightened and smoothed her palms down her pants legs. "Thank you, Livie. I consider that the highest of compliments. But you're trying to change the subject."
"No," Livie sighed, pushing her chair back to sit cross-legged, hands clenched tightly in her lap with trembling control. "I'm stressing a point."
"Stress the point later," Josie said wearily. "Please just tell me what's going on."
Josie watched as Livie stared back, the wrinkles on her face looking deeper than Josie had ever noticed before. Without any real idea on how Livie really was, Josie couldn’t determine if this illness of her was life-threatening. Life without Livie? The idea was almost impossible.
“I have Parkinson’s Disease,” Livie said quietly. “It’s progressing faster than the doctors expected.”
Josie blinked. She tripped backward, landing on the arm of the chair Travis occupied. “How sick are you?”
Everything was beginning to make sense. She’d never known many people with the illness, but Josie remembered one of her professors from college. He’d trembled often, having his student teacher do most of his in-class writing, and sometimes he had trouble speaking clearly. Livie’s symptoms varied slightly from that, but the rigidity of her movements, the tense way she acted lately, the frequent days off from work...even the sudden interest in yoga...they all added up to the vision before her.
Livie -- spunky, passionate Olivia Williams -- had a condition that ate away at the control over her own life. And Josie felt as if chunks of her own world had shattered.
Travis’ hand came up to thread his fingers through hers, giving her much-needed strength and support, as Livie said, “It was mild...but now…”
“But now what?” Josie asked, swallowing thickly.
Livie sighed. “But I’m heavy into stage two and fast on my way to three,” she answered angrily. Her eyes dropped to her hands, and Josie knew she was mad at her body, at her disease, at her luck, and not at them. Travis’ fingers tightened, and she squeezed back.
“What are...what are the doctors doing? Are they doing anything?”
“I’m on medication, a strict diet--” Livie blanched at that. “-- and encouraged to go to physical therapy twice a week.”
A lone tear fell down Josie’s cheek before she realized she was crying. Then she was out of her chair, away from Travis’ grasp and hauling Livie up into a hug. Livie’s bare feet dangled by Josie’s shins. It was a testament to just how small and fragile that woman really was, despite the power she projected “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” Josie cried. “I could have helped! I could have--”
“What could you have done?” Livie asked with a laugh.
“I don’t know, but I could have done something!”
“You can put me down, is what you can do,” Liv said, and Josie gently released her.
Travis rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “Tell her the rest of it,” he said, and Josie’s eyes whipped to him.
“The rest of it?” She turned back to Livie. “There’s more?”
Livie snorted. “Sit down, Josie girl. Yes, I have more to tell you...both of you, and Travis, I’m glad you’re here, because there’s things you don’t know yet either.”
Travis frowned as his eyes deepened with concern. “What things?”
“The real reason for why I need you both here,” Liv said with a sigh, and Josie went back to her perch on Travis’ chair, grasping for his hand again. Sitting on his right, she held his left hand, and felt his other go around her waist to hold her there, too. The ease and familiarity of how he touched her now lifted her heart, even as it threatened to drown in her sorrow.
Liv scooted up to her desk, hiding most of her body under the top, hiding her tremors from them, as she said, “Let’s just start with what you, Travis, already know.” She looked at Josie. “I’m retiring. I had hoped to stick around until next summer, but it looks like the new year will be my sending off date.”
“Retiring?” Josie wiped away another tear. “Oh...Livie!”
“Now, don’t start the caterwauling again,” Liv told her sternly.
“But...but...but the studio...everything you’ve worked so hard for...and the label...and…”
Travis shifted uneasily in his seat, breaking through Josie’s stuttering. “Let her finish,” he said quietly.
Liv gave them both a small smile. “Travis already knows this, Josie girl, and I will tattle on him and say that when I told him, he wasn’t too happy about it.”
Travis made a sound...a humored sound.
And Liv glanced between the two of them, focusing on their position beside each other, and the way his arms curled around her protectively. “Looks like that changed,” she said with a slight grin. “So the thing is, with the studio, I’ve already had papers drawn up to give it to both of you.”
Josie’s mouth fell open. “I’m sorry...what?”
“It’s ours,” Travis said gravely. “As soon as she officially retires, the studio is ours. All of it. The business, the clientele, the label.”
“Why?”
“Because she’s crazy,” Travis answered for Livie.
“Never been diagnosed with that one,” Livie said, giving Travis a smart-ass glower. “Although I’ve been called that many times over.”
A thought occurred to Josie as she sat and listened, not fully believing her ears, and she asked, “When did you decide all this?”
A flush of shame -- or something akin to that -- spread over Livie’s cheeks. “A few months before I hired you. Travis knew not long after I decided,” she answered, and Josie stood up quickly.
“And you’re just now telling me this?” Her gaze fled between the two of them. “Wait! Is that why you offered me this job? To give me a...a...a studio?"
Livie's cheeks pinkened. "Yes...but I had my reasons for that, too."
"I'd like to hear those," Travis said. "I still think you're cracked in the head for that."
Livie looked at him. "And yet, you now see that I was right. She's the best person for this studio's future. Both of you are. Together, you two make an amazing team."
Josie looked at Travis, too. "You didn't want me here, did you?" That hurt.
He turned his gaze to her, as shameless as his next words. "I made no secret about how I felt at the time. You know what you were like. All the college degrees in the world couldn't have made that pesky little girl grow up. I had to see it for myself." He gave her a crooked grin. "I've never been so happy to be so wrong."
His grin disarmed her. She smiled back and said, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Princess,” he said, “and I might add, thank you, for making me change my mind. It was the best damn crow I ever ate. But I still want to hear why Liv is doing this. She’s never really said before.”
Josie resumed her seat as Livie stood up and began pacing, her finger flexing and curling as the tension rolled off her. Josie’s heart went out to her. Why couldn’t she tell me this before?
“Right...the reason,” Liv said, walking around her desk. “Well...it kind of goes back to that point I mentioned earlier...about Hannah. You see...I’ve always loved Hannah, from the very beginning, and when I found out about her past, I knew why I loved her so much… It has to do with the three things you all have in common…”
Josie and Travis frowned with confusion at each other.
Livie added, “I knew, when I heard what was happening to me, that I would have to retire soon. Hell, I’m seventy-two--”
Josie mouthed, Wow, and Travis gave her a “Tell me about it” look.
“-- But I wasn’t done with my life,” Liv went on. “I had so much to do yet...so many plans, so much hard work behind me, and the sacrifices--” Liv’s face crumpled for a second, but then she shook that off. “The sacrifices. The things and...and...and the people I gave up to be where I am today.” She paused in her pacing to look at Travis. “You were always my first choice. You’ve been with me through the thick and thin of the last hundred years, it seemed. But you were right about one thing, Travis. You don’t know shit about running a business.”
Travis saluted her. “Thank you.”
“But I wasn’t going to just give up my studio,” Livie said, moving again. “I thought about Hannah, how much spirit she had and how she knew about owning a business, and that maybe she could take over for me, but I dropped that idea as soon as I thought it. Hannah had already built herself a life, a future, and I wasn’t about to tear that from her. She’s happy doing what she does, so…”
Livie stopped to drink some more water, and Josie fidgeted on her perch. The anticipation was getting to her. She forced herself to breath deeply and let it go.
“So...thinking about all I wanted, all I’ve done...all I’ve given up,” Liv said, carefully putting down her water glass and staring into the depths of the remaining liquid. “I have a lot to atone for.” She turned her dark eyes to them, staring at each of them for a long time. Then she said, “Do you know why you two and Hannah have always been so deep in my heart?”
Josie glanced at Travis. His expression said he had no idea. Josie said, “Because we’re awesome?”
Liv laughed. It was a strained laugh, but it was accompanied with a loving smile. “Because all of you were abandoned by your mothers.”
Blinking with the realization, Josie tilted her head to the side and studied Livie. “Yes...we were, but what has that got to do with the studio?”
A shiny wetness covered Liv’s eyes as she said, “Because I was that mother once.”
It took a moment for Josie and Travis to understand that, but when it hit Josie, she jerked, and Travis stiffened.
Liv nodded. “I was fifteen...I got pregnant...November 1, 1966, so many years ago, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl…”
A hard lump formed in Josie’s throat. Travis leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees as he stared at the floor between his feet.
“I couldn’t keep her,” Liv whispered. “My mother and father wouldn’t let me. I got to see her for two brief minutes before she was whisked away to another’s arms...another woman caring for my child… She’ll be fifty-seven this year...fifty-seven years, and I still see that sweet baby…”
Liv stopped. She grabbed her water again, but the glass slipped from her trembling fingers, splashing the carpet. Josie jumped up to get it. She refilled it in the sink by the bar and brought it back to Liv, gently helping the little woman into the chair next to Travis, who had yet to move or make a sound.
Livie gulped the water, trickling some down her chin. Josie snatched a tissue from a nearby box and wiped the water away. “I wonder sometimes,” Liv said, clutching her glass. “Did she get married...have children, and now grandchildren? I tried to find her...but I didn’t know the name she was given...or who adopted her...or...or…”
Josie grabbed another couple of tissues for Livie’s tears...and for her own.
“I want to see her...just once before I die, Josie,” Livie said, her voice cracking.
Josie patted her trembling hands, squeezing her wrists briefly. “We’ll help you find her...we’ll try our best...won’t we, Travis?”
At his name, his head jerked up. His brown eyes had darkened. He slowly stood up...walked over to the bar, bent to search in the lower cabinet and came up with a bottle of whiskey. He screwed off the lid and drank straight from the bottle, wincing as the fiery liquid soared down his throat.
Josie stared at him. “Travis!” she scolded.
“Sorry,” he croaked, and put the bottle back under the cabinet. Livie flapped her hand at him.
“No, bring that here. I could use a stiff drink, too,” Liv said, her voice strengthening. Josie shook her head at both of them. Liv drained her water and poured two splashes of the whiskey, tipping the glass back with one gulp. Taking the whiskey bottle from her, Josie sighed. It wasn’t very professional to imbibe during the middle of the work day, but…
Eh...what the hell…
Josie guzzled from the bottle, coughing as the burn tore through her body. Travis grinned and took the whiskey away from them. But instead of putting it back into the cabinet, he set it on the table next to Liv’s chair.
Liv breathed out helplessly. “Thank you, Josie, for offering, but I’ve tried every agency out there that reconnects adopted children with their mothers with no luck.”
“Don’t give up,” Josie said kindly. “There’s still hope.”
“Yes...but I’ve come to terms that I might not ever see her again.” She gazed at Josie and Travis. “In a way, I’ve taken that pain and turned it into something that drove me through the years. I made a life for myself, and I’ve seemed to have collected abandoned children. Even M.G. was adopted as a child, did you know that?”
Josie shook her head. “No… Dang, Livie. Why have you kept all this a secret from us? We love you. We wouldn’t have judged you for it. You said it yourself, you were fifteen.”
Liv sighed and stood up, her body under better control now. “I didn’t want either of you to think that I keep you with me because I felt so guilty.”
Travis said, “Liv, you took me in when you could have thrown my ass out on the street again. You became the mother I never got. Whatever guilt you feel, or felt, it made you a better person. I’d still be here with you today, even if I had known back then.”
Liv raised her eyes to him. “Would you? Your mother’s rejection was still fresh when I found you doing that pencilneck Lyle’s work for him. Then you told me what you’ve been through, and I thought, I can save him, and so I tried, but you were so young, still so angry. Would you really have let me love you if you knew I was just like your own mother?”
“You’re nothing like my mother,” he said, a flush of heat in his cheeks. “Don’t ever say that again. I like you. Hell, I love you, Liv. You earned that respect from me. My mother never did.” He pointed to Josie. “And she wouldn’t have judged you either. We may not have our crap together all the time -- God knows, I don’t, and Josie does a damn better job at it than I ever would -- but by not telling us this sooner, you’ve hurt us, Liv. We still love you, but we should have been told. I told you about my mother. Josie has told you about hers. We didn’t hide from it.”
Liv’s eyes teared up again. “I know...I’m sorry...but…but I couldn’t give my baby anything! And now I look back and see that I had so much to give.” She grasped Josie’s hand tightly. “You two are the only real family I have in this world, and I want to give you everything I have. I’m sorry, Josie, for deceiving you into coming here to work for me. I’m sorry, Travis, for letting it all stay a secret for this long, but you have to understand...I never wanted either of you to feel obligated. I’m sick, and I’m old, and I’d damn tired, and I’ll probably be dead in a few years. The only legacy I have is this studio...and you two.”
A blazing fierceness came into her eyes. “And you will both damn well take my legacy, if I have to shove it down your throats from my grave!”
Josie blinked with wide eyes, and then she grinned. That was the Livie she knew and had come to love. The guilt-ridden, teary-eyed Livie scared her, but this one… “I would be honored to accept your gift,” Josie said.
Livie snorted. “Gift! It’s a damn grindstone, and you’ll be working hard to keep it.”
Josie still grinned. “It’s still a gift. Right, Travis?” She nudged his side. He made a sound in the back of his throat.
“What else am I going to do?” he asked Josie. “She’ll haunt me for the next century if I say no.”
“Then it’s settled,” Liv said, going back to her desk chair. A symphony of girlish giggles sounded from the hallway, and Josie glanced through the office door to see her Babies waving at them as they head up to The Snob Lounge. Liv looked at her watch. “Back to work, you two. We’ll talk more about this later, and I’ll be out for the rest of the afternoon. Damn physical therapy appointment.”
With a clear dismissal, Josie and Travis left her office. Josie’s legs were still a little weak from the last hour. Between Nathan and Brandon, and Livie’s revelations, a small stress headache was forming behind her eyeballs. Out in the hall, Travis took her hand.
“Come here,” he said, and pulled her into a supply closet, closing the door behind them. The room was dark, but he pulled her into his arms and held her. “You okay?”
“Yeah.”
“Some lunch hour, huh?”
She buried her head under his chin, closing her eyes as his comfort and warmth eased the heartache inside her. With him by her side… They could do anything.
He kissed the top of her head. “I’m going to run out and get something to eat before getting back to work,” he said. “I’ll bring you something, since you missed lunch, too.”
“I don’t know if I can eat,” she said.
He tilted her head back with a finger to her chin. “You will eat, Princess.”
“Oh, hey...about that. Why did Nathan said everyone in town is calling me that?”
She felt his body go rigid for a moment. Then he cleared his throat. “I might have let it slip a few times, during some meetings lately.”
“What meetings? With who?”
“Um...well, there was this interview for the Memphis Flyer...they were doing a story about local bands, and they asked about working for a recording studio, and…”
“And what?”
“And the, uh, guy knew you from the Blues Foundation thing, and he asked about working with you...and I, uh, got a little jealous, I guess, and it just...came out.”
“What came out?”
Travis’ hand left her chin to run through his hair. “I, um, said you were like a princess...always doing what was right and caring for everyone, and then he, uh, asked about, you know...us...and I, um, said…”
“You said…?”
He cleared his throat. “Um...you didn’t read the article?”
“No, I didn’t,” she said, moving out of his arms. “What did you say, Big Daddy?”
The dim light from under the door faintly highlighted his grimace. “Don’t call me that.”
Josie crossed her arms under her breasts. His eyes stared down at them.
“I, uh, said, working with the Princess of Raw Studios has several benefits,” he said in a guilt-leadened voice.
“Travis!”
“I know!” he said heavily, “But he kept egging me on, and he had the look in his eyes, you know the one I mean…”
“No, I don’t.”
“Come on...you’ve seen it. That Look.”
“What look?”
“That look every red-blooded man around you gives you,” he said loudly. “The same damn look I know is on my face when I’m around you.”
“Please, describe it to me, Travis,” she said. “Because you have so many looks.”
Suddenly, he laughed. “God, Josie! I can’t believe we’re fighting about this! Now, of all times!” He pulled her back to him. And in a deep, heavenly voice, he said, “The look that says I want to do this…” He kissed her. Hard. Passionately.
When his lips parted from hers, and her heart fell back into a normal rhythm, Josie whispered, “Oh...that look…”
"Yeah," he murmured. "Put that on the list of things you now know about me."
And he kissed her again. A door slamming shut outside in the hallway broke them apart. “We’ve got to get out of this closet,” he muttered. “We’re at work.”
She sighed. “I keep telling you that.”
One of his fingers smoothed back a strand of hair from her cheek. “How the hell are we supposed to work together...run a damn studio when Livie is gone, if I can’t keep my hands off you?”
“It’ll be difficult,” she said, stepping back to straighten her hair better.
“You don’t seem to have any trouble with it.”
She smiled wanly. “Trust me...I’m having a lot of trouble with it.” Then she opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. M.G. was there, coming out of the ladies room. Her eyes brightened when she spied Travis exiting the closet behind Josie.
“I’d say, Get a room,” M.G. told them, “but maybe, Get a different room, works better?”
Josie’s cheeks heated. She didn’t say anything as she scooted toward the stairs. But she heard Travis’ chuckle follow her, warming her. She smiled as she thought about them working together...here...forever together. The future looked a little brighter. She wouldn’t have to worry about them, if they had the studio. Although the circumstances could have been better, Livie’s gift was welcome.
Sharing the studio meant Josie would always have Travis beside her.
Now...to make this partnership a little more...personal…
If she could get Travis to admit he was just as in love with her as she was with him, then everything in her life would be complete.
*****