❝You've used me for the last time.❞
"YOU CAN'T EVEN TAKE CARE OF HER," his bitter tone snaps through the air. "Look at her. How long has it been? She's so stressed she's literally fainting."
Ria's insides shrivel at the hate in Chris' voice; a rancorous reminder of every negative encounter they've had.
"You really don't want to upset me right now," Ashton grumbles. He finds himself in a vigorous pace behind Ria as she sinks into the cushions of Chris' sofa.
Tension from their argument still radiates from his aura and bleeds into her exhaustion. His rage burns the atmosphere at unbearable heights. Rage for what Vincent has done. Rage for having to see Chris again. Rage for the choice Ria has made.
Chris presses his fingers into his eyes and shakes his head. "I don't know why she picked you or this life. I don't know why she wants to have your fucking baby, but you're going to get her killed before it can."
"I'm not going to let her die," Ashton snaps.
Ria rubs her eyes. "I'm literally sitting right here," she croaks. "Neither of you are making me feel any better."
Chris glares at her from his seat across the living room and leans heavily on his knees. His jaw is lined with a faint stubble that makes him appear older than twenty-five. His eyes, so hateful and unkind, pierce into hers with disappointment, blame.
Ashton is suddenly by her side, grabbing her wrists and examining her face. "How are you feeling? Do you need water? I'm sorry I stressed you out."
"It's fine." Ria wriggles out of his grasp and scoots away, ignoring the shift of pain across the plains of his once furious expression.
"So Ashton knows about how you purposely got pregnant so you could have a kid that would kill you," Chris says snidely.
The lines of Ashton's face lowers into a scowl. "Purposely?"
"Chris," Ria hisses.
Her existence no longer seems to exist as he ignores her and cocks his head to the side. "She's been taking pills to increase her chances of pregnancy."
"I don't understand this." Ashton turns to her, disbelief weakening his voice and slumping his posture. "If you knew the risks, why would you try to get pregnant?"
"You wouldn't understand," she whispers.
"Then try and help me understand, Ria. This is your life we're talking about. I refuse to lose you to something we can do another way."
"Ashton, you have a long criminal history. You're connected to a violent world that is adamant on bringing you down. We don't have stable jobs or a stable home. We both suffer from mental illnesses. You can't possibly," she stresses, "think we could successfully go through any another process. And I don't want another woman carrying your child for me. Especially if they can decide to keep it."
Ashton digs at his hair and bows his head in defeat. "T-then we just won't have kids. I'd rather have you than a family."
"I want to have kids, Ashton." She reaches over and touches his leg. "This is more than just for you. It's for me too. I want to bring life into this world. Vincent has taken so much from us. Do you understand that?" She touches his face, bringing his attention to her. "He's taken so much. I'm not letting him ruin another thing for us. I want to do this. It's my choice."
"Ria," he exhales and touches her hand against his. "I can't take a chance of losing you."
"You won't lose me. We can go to the doctor and figure out my chances and everything I need to do to increase our odds."
"No. I don't want to take a chance."
"Everything is taking a chance, Ashton. Everything. Even without the injury, there's a risk during birth."
The argument dies in his eyes and is instead replaced with grief; the saddest shade of blue she's ever seen. He holds the sides of her face and places his forehead against hers. "I swear to god, Ria. If I lose you." His voice cracks. "If anything happens to you..."
"It won't." She fights back tears and musters up a shattered smile. "We're going to make it through this."
"I hate to ruin your little moment," Chris snarls, "but being optimistic means shit to logic."
Ria snaps sharpened eyes to him, ready to cut like glass. "Having hope is not illogical."
"Vincent ripped a fucking blade into your stomach and you had to get surgery. The doctor said it'd be nearly impossible to get pregnant again. If you do, the process will kill you."
"Could. It could. Doctors can be wrong. I'm pregnant again, aren't I?"
He claws at his face and then drives his fingers through his hair. "Because that woman gave you some suspicious drugs to increase your chances!"
"Is that the deal you made with Camilla?" Ashton rubs his face. "What the hell have I done getting you involved with these people?"
"It's okay," she insists. "We're pregnant now. All we have to do is increase my odds of making it through this. You said you came up with a list of do's and don'ts, right?" She smiles and rubs her thumb along his cheek. "We'll go through everything. We'll do this right."
"Not if you're getting so stressed you pass out all of the time. How is it? Dealing with the mafia, Ria?" Sarcasm burns the delicate air alongside Chris' hatred. "Is it everything you've ever dreamed of from the love of your life?"
"How's being alone?" Ria snaps.
Chris narrows his eyes. "It's great thanks to you."
"Don't blame this on me. You're the one who doesn't want to let me go."
He shoots forward in his seat and jabs a finger at her. "I tried protecting you from this monster that you're so blindly fucking in love with. We could have made each other happy, Ria. We did for four years."
Ashton drags in an agitated breath and shakes his head. "I can't possibly see how she dealt with you for four years."
"He was a different person back in college," she mumbles.
Ashton folds his hands and places a vacant glare on Chris. "So we can handle more pressing matters like my fiancée risking her life for our child, we need to move on from this blaming session. We only want to hear yes or no to this one question."
Chris' dark eyes fall to Ria's ring finger and his frame visibly crumbles. There's a brief look of distress that's gone so fast she wonders if it was ever there. "Daniel was the one who came to me about breaking you two up." His voice is monotone, eyes dead. "Your best friend sat back and plotted to take Ria away from you. He promised that I could have her again. Your best friend."
Ria swallows this and stares at him in disbelief. "So you...so you worked with him?" Bile rises in her throat and she grabs her head. "Y-you said you didn't know. I-I defended you, Chris!"
"I didn't know the letter was fake." He shrugs. "Everything else, I knew."
"You piece of shit," Ashton growls. He shoots forward, but Ria holds fast to his taut arm and urges him back down. "I knew I should have done something about you so long ago."
"Oh?" Chris laughs cynically. "You mean like kill me? Like how you solve all of your issues? I was taking back what was mine, but you ruined it."
"So what did you do?" Ria squeezes Ashton's arm until his muscles release. "How could you conspire with a criminal but blame everything on Ashton?"
"I didn't know about Vincent being a part of the plan. When I brought Vivian to Daniel's place, I had no idea who she was. I thought she was just Ashton's ex and that she'd bring drama. I didn't think that drama would include the goddamn mafia." Chris rubs his forehead and bows his head. "I should have known Daniel was crazy. He was obsessed with making sure Ashton was alone. He told me how to be around you in order to make you trust me again."
Vicious tears burn her eyes too fast to blink them away. "So you've just been manipulating me?" She wipes her face furiously. "I can't believe I loved you at one point."
Ashton rubs her back but it does nothing to make her feel any less foolish. She trusted Chris. Cared for him. Gave him a million chances. Her best friend. Her first love. The man who sits across from her now...she doesn't recognize this monster disguising himself as a man.
"I just wanted things to go back to normal," he mutters. "I was desperate."
"You don't care about me. You never cared about me." She grinds her teeth and winces as her nails pierce her palms. "It's always about what you want. What makes you happy. Even the things you did out of friendship was just a ploy to make it seem like I could trust you?"
"I do care about you, Ria." He's desperate now. Desperate to save himself, ignoring the pain he's caused her. "I just- I just-"
"You used me for your own happiness," she snaps. "Instead of working out our relationship when I was down at my worst, you left me. When you were lonely and ready for me again, you came barging in and plotted to ruin my relationship with a man who clearly makes me happy. You don't care about what makes me happy." She makes an abrupt stand. "You care about what makes you happy. You're so fucking selfish!"
"Ria," Ashton mumbles and touches her wrist. "Don't let him stress you out."
"No!" Ria yanks away. "I trusted you when everyone else told me not to! I loved you when you didn't deserve it. I gave you chances while you were manipulating me. That night...that night..." She chokes on a sob and wipes her face as remnants of that night stab her memory. "When you came over for New Years a-and I was so depressed..."
Guilt washes over Chris' face as he knows exactly what night she's talking about. "Ria..."
"You said that sleeping with you would make me feel better. You said that you'd help me forget him. I didn't want to at first, but you made me believe that I should. You made it seem like you were doing me a favor. Even when every part of me didn't want to be there with you, I did. I fell for your words again. You violated every part of me; mentally, emotionally and physically. Did..." She bites her bottom lip hard and holds back as her limbs tremble with hate and fear all intertwined. "W-was that also a part of Daniel's plan?"
His silence is enough of an answer.
Her world shakes. Universe shatters. Every emotion in her body falls numb. That night haunts her again. Every night that Chris used her as a shell for pleasure feels like a violation of not only her body but her spirit.
"You're disgusting," she rasps.
"I'm so sorry." He stands up slowly, face full of regret, hand extended to her.
"You've used me for the last time."
Every part of her soul begins to crumble. She's suddenly so light-headed she can pass out from pure hatred. Ashton's hands are on her waist and she leans into him before she can truly lose herself in malice.
"I don't want to be here anymore," she sobs. "I-I can't be here. Please, can we go?"
Humiliation burns her skin and she suddenly feels disgusted with herself. She let Chris use her for so long. Manipulate her. When she put her trust in him, he was using her to the cruelest intent.
"You're never going to see him again," Ashton murmurs in her ear as he leads them out of the house.
Ria is blind. Her senses, gone. All that remains is hatred and the hope that this is truly the last time she'll have to see Chris, her best friend, her first love, this monster's face ever again.
I know we've all been waiting for Ria to see the real Chris and finally give up on him since literally the first book!
The only thing I feel separates him from Daniel is his guilt, empathy and love (?) for Ria.
Ashton is slightly (?) coming to terms with Ria's risk in the pregnancy. (You guys were so shook at his initial reaction!)
I also want to give a HUGE thank you to those who are reading the rewritten chapters of Strokes! I really am so grateful and shocked! It honestly makes editing it a lot more exciting knowing you guys are seeing the changes and the old memories coming to life again.
-bri💞