Twenty-Four
As soon as I woke up I hurriedly put on the clothes I placed next to my mattress and brushed my hair, leaving it down to cover the fading bruises on my neck. I checked that I still had the money in my pocket before rushing outside. As I made my way outside I saw a bus making its way to the stop, causing me to run as fast as my weak legs would allow me so that I did not miss the bus – If I missed it I would have to wait another half an hour until the next one arrived.
Luckily the bus driver saw me running and kindly waited at the bus stop. I paid for a return ticket before sitting on one of the back seats that was hidden from everyone’s view. The journey to the supermarket was not that long; after around ten minutes of sitting on the bus I pressed the ‘stop’ button and carefully walked to the front, careful not to fall over as the bus halted to a stop as we reached the supermarket. I quietly thanked the driver and stepped off of the bus, walking into the store and picking up a basket; the shopping carts needed a pound coin to be inserted and I had used all of my change to pay for the bus ticket – the basket would have to be big enough for everything I needed to purchase.
***
“Rachel!” I heard as I placed a tin of baked beans into my basket. I turned around upon hearing my name and saw Freya sauntering towards me.
“Hey!” I greeted with a smile as she reached me.
“How are you feeling?” She asked, tilting her head slightly.
“I’m doing alright… What about you?”
“I’m great, thank you!”
“Did you want to come to the hospital with me?”
“I think you should go on your own, I don’t think it would be right if I was there…”
“Oh, alright… When Ethan wakes up, though, you will have to meet him.”
“Yes, I’m planning on having the whole ‘hurt her and I’ll hurt you’ conversation with him.”
I laughed at Freya, although we both knew that she really was being serious and she would have that talk with him when he wakes up. I know that Ethan would never hurt me intentionally, though. Freya’s phone went off, notifying her that she had a message and she typed something before apologising, saying that she had to go home. We hugged and said our goodbyes and walked our separate ways – she walked out of the store and I walked towards another aisle to continue shopping.
Soon I had collected everything I needed to buy and went to the checkouts where there were not many people – not surprising as it was only seven in the morning and the shop had only been open for just over an hour. I loaded all of my items onto the conveyer belt and put my basket under it where there was a pile of others. The woman at the checkout smiled and made small conversation as she scanned my items and passed them to me, allowing me to pack them into carrier bags.
“That’ll be £47.60, please.” I handed her the fifty pound note and she gave me my change and receipt. I put the change in my pocket and the receipt in one of the bags before attempting to carry everything – six bags of food was hard to carry for one person, especially when you have weak arms like I do.
“Do you need help with them?” A familiar voice said from behind me.
“Logan!” I exclaimed as I turned around to face him.
“Here, give me some of them.”
I passed Logan half of the bags and he led me out of the store before he stopped and started sniffing the air. What was he doing? I know Ethan once described how much Logan loved his food, but I doubt that he could smell some kind of food right now.
“Do you have a new perfume?” Logan asked, turning to face me again.
“No…” I trailed off, confused as to what he was doing.
“Right… Something you bought must smell really good then…”
I didn’t say anything in reply and let the conversation fall as he kept looking around the car park as if he was looking for someone or something. He really is strange. I followed him as he walked to the end of the car park and saw his car that he had driven me home in previously. I stopped him as he went to put my bags in the boot of the car.
“I can get the bus home…”
“No, no! Such a princess should not travel on public transport!” He gasped and overacted as if he was in a theatre show.
“I bought a return ticket anyway.” I told him, hoping he would stop making a fuss and acting as if I was such an important person.
“No! I will look after you for Ethan and you will get home safely in my car.”
“Logan!”
“Stop being so stubborn and hand me your bags.”
I just shook my head and gave him the bags I was carrying before pulling open the passenger door and sitting in his car, waiting as he shut the boot and joined me.
“Are you going to the hospital or do you want to drop off your bags first?” He asked as he turned the keys in the ignition, letting the engine come to life.
“I’ll drop off the bags first, if that’s alright with you.”
“Of course M’lady,” he bowed his head, causing me to laugh. What a dork. He started driving, pulling out of the car park as he sang along to the radio.
Once we reached my house I hopped out of the car and opened the boot, picking up as many bags as I could. I opened the front door and rushed into the kitchen, putting the bags down before exiting the room. I bumped into Logan and froze – why is he inside? I pushed him into the kitchen and hoped that he didn’t see the living room that was still filled with empty beer bottles, cigarette butts and empty packets of what were probably drugs that my father had left everywhere after his ‘friends’ decided to visit.
“Woah!” he yelled as I forced him into the kitchen. I started pulling things out of the plastic bags and putting them in multiple cupboards and the fridge, ignoring the confused and concerned look on Logan’s face.
When we were done I exited the room first and shut the door to the lounge before Logan could see inside. However, when I was shutting the door he joined me and gave me a confused look as to why I was closing it. Luckily he did not ask any questions and left it alone, taking my hand and pulling me towards the car.
Five minutes later and we had arrived at the hospital. We exited the car and walked into the building in silence; there was nothing to say as inside we were both worried about Ethan, just hoping that he would wake up soon.
***
No sound was being made in the hospital room other than the steady beeping of the heart monitor that Ethan was attached to – the only thing showing us that Ethan was still alive. Avia, David and Seb had gone home as they had an important meeting to attend to; I told them that I would phone them if anything happened with Ethan. I was unsure why Seb had to leave his brother too as he is only seventeen, almost eighteen, and would not have an important role in their family business yet – Maybe he did, though, I did not know. Logan stayed to keep me company and he said he wanted to be here if Ethan did wake up – that was his reasoning but I believe that he didn’t have anything better to do.
I held on to Ethan’s hand tightly, wishing that he would twitch or make some kind of movement that would show that he was okay. You know, like you see in all of the movies where the main character says “Please move your hand, anything to show me you can hear me!” and like magic the character in the hospital bed moves their hand and everyone shouts for the doctor. But this is not one of those movies – especially not one that would get a happy ending. Why would someone like me deserve a happy ending? I’m someone that has the guilt of her mother’s death on her hands; someone that is blamed by her father and has to face the consequences. Nobody wants all of the demons that follow me around, haunting me every day and every night. Everyone in my life right now will find out what happens in my life and will decide to leave me – everyone leaves me.
Pulling me out of my thoughts, Logan waved his hand in front of my face with his eyebrows lifted in curiosity and amusement.
“Sorry,” I blushed as I realised he had probably been trying to gain my attention for a while now, “What?” I asked, wondering what he wanted.
“Do you want any food? I was going to get something from the shop – I’m tired of this hospital food.” He pulled a disgusted face at the mention of hospital food; that was one cliché that was true in this situation.
“Can you just get me a flapjack or something? I’m not that hungry.”
“Alright, I’ll be back as soon as possible.”
With that, he left and I was left alone with Ethan in silence once more. I didn’t know if Ethan could hear everything that was going on – the doctors were still doing multiple tests and scans to ensure they knew what his exact condition was like – but I decided to talk to him and fill the silence.
“Hey, Ethan,” I started, my voice cracking, “I have no idea if you can hear me right now but you once wrote to me that you believe you would love my voice and you told me that you would never want me to stop talking to you when I’m around you. So I guess this is my voice. It’s nothing great and I don’t even think I have an accent but everyone thinks that about themselves, right?
This isn’t exactly the way we planned on meeting. I miss you. A lot of people may say that I’m crazy for missing you because you’re right in front of me now… Yet, I miss you a lot. I want another letter or to hear your voice; not to be sat holding your hand as you lay on a hospital bed unconscious. Why couldn’t you have chosen a less dangerous career? One where you don’t have to risk your life at every second of the day – if you had a different job, you would not be in this condition right now and although we would not have sent the letters to each other I’m sure we would have met another way; we’re basically soul mates, right? You probably don’t believe in soul mates but we connect so well and we clicked so quickly… I don’t know. All of these feelings I have towards you confuse me – how did I fall in love with someone I haven’t technically met yet?
I met Logan; he’s as nice and dorky as you described him in your letters. He’s helping me through this right now and I guess he is almost like a big brother to me now – yes, big brother, so there is no need for you to act all jealous and possessive when I’m near him. The same goes to your brother, Sebastian. Your parents are also very nice; you’re lucky to have such an amazing family.
I need you here. So much is going on in my life and you are the only thing keeping me sane and alive; you are my anchor, Ethan and I need my anchor awake and moving. I need you so much right now – what am I supposed to do without you? Please wake up baby.”
I may have been imagining it but I believe that his heartbeat spiked slightly as I said the words, “I love you.”
I stayed in silence after that – It would be weird if someone walked in and they found me talking to an unconscious body. I waited for Logan to come back as I sat on the edge of my seat with one hand laced together with Ethan’s and the other clutching onto the dog tags that were sitting around my neck.
I didn’t know how long I was sat like this but Logan soon walked in, a plastic carrier bag in hand and a huge smile on his face.
“What’s up?” I questioned, wondering what happened to make him so happy at the store.
“I- uh, I met someone.” He mumbled, a blush forming on his cheeks. This ‘someone’ must be extremely special to have caused the one and only Logan Harris to act this way.
“Aw is Logan blushing?” I teased.
“No! It’s just hot in here, that’s all.” He denied, although I do not believe his excuse one bit – he used the most overused excuse in the history of excuses.
“Right,” I said, dragging out the ‘i’.
The doctor entered the room at that moment to conduct more tests so I allowed the conversation to drop there but both Logan and I knew that we would talk about this mystery girl again later.
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This update was later than I expected and I apologise - I have been very ill and now school has started again:( I had re-planned updating this weekend but I can update now because I had two 'study periods' at school in which I had nothing else to do :) Unfortunately though, Wattpad is blocked at school so I can only update when I'm at home :(
Anyway, who does everyone think this mystery girl is? And what did you think about Rachel's one-sided conversation with Ethan? I wonder if he can hear her or not ooh
Thank you to everyone that is voting (I got 59 on the last chapter so far omg thank you!), reading and commenting! I love you all <3