THE RISE OF SAMENESS
Sexual orientation and gender are both contested topics in the Western world and even more contested in other areas of the globe. Both are a part of someone's identity, embedded into zir sense of pride and self-worth. Imagine a group or identity you strongly associate yourself with—whether that be feminism, religion, race, or ethnicity—and if you can imagine that, you can imagine how passionately someone views zir pansexuality or bisexuality or transgender identity or non-binary identity.
I am someone who identifies as cisgender and bisexual, and you are likely to be cisgender and heterosexual, but I think it is important to establish how similar I am to you. We grew up in the same world. We watched cartoons as kids, maybe played outside. We were taught about this same world. We learned how to speak. We learned how to walk. We learned how to read. We developed personalities of our own. We may have played sports. We may have played instruments. We may have liked to read. We may have liked to write.
However, as much as we are similar, we're not the same. You can bring home your boyfriend, and your family is proud to accept someone that means so much to you into their family. You can get married to that boyfriend in essentially every nation-state globally.
I can bring home my girlfriend, but it's not met with pride. It's disappointment and shame. If I lived in Afghanistan, Brunei, Iran, Sudan, northern Nigeria, Yemen, Saudi Arabia, or Southern Somalia, I can receive the death penalty for having homosexual relations. Beyond that, there are more than seventy countries that will give me some sort of punishment, including life in prison, for homosexual acts, and forty-five countries specify homosexuality against females and males while the rest just target male homosexuality.
Our love is the same. You can get just as crushed from a rejection as I can do. I can get just as nervous as you on a date with a woman as you can with a man. I can get just as sad during a breakup as you can get. I can get cheated on like you can. I can get abused like you can.
But our love is treated differently. Yours is more accepted; mine is not as accepted. That is what makes us similar and not the same. We have the potential to be the same, but we are not. That difference between similar and same is why the LGBTQ+ movement exists. It is not to create some exclusive group for the weirdos or outcasts; it is to tell people to recognize this difference. This sameness exists between you and pansexuals and transgenders and asexuals and all of the amazing people LGBTQ+ encompasses.
The first step to writing LGBTQ+ characters is to realize that we are the same by nature. We are not so distant from you to the point where you cannot even comprehend how we feel. We are both people with the capacity to love and express ourselves.
THE RISE OF REPRESENTATION
When you ask me, "Kat, how do I portray this homosexual relationship correctly?" or "But, I cannot possibly relate to the LGBTQ+ community, so I need guidance. Help me?"
I get puzzled by this a lot. The basis for being nervous, from a cisgender heterosexual's perspective, is because zie has this fear of getting it all wrong and misrepresenting the LGBTQ+. If you are one of these people nervous about writing an LGBTQ+ character, I want you to toss around one question in your mind:
Are you okay with writing about murder?
If you included or plan to include murder, have you experienced that tragedy first-hand?
A lot of people I see nervous about including LGBTQ+ include these violent themes in their works without having experienced it. If you are so nervous about LGBTQ+ characters, why are you not nervous about portraying the emotions of a murder correctly? That is a very emotional time for a family, a spouse, and a child. Why is it that some people do not blink an eye to including a tragedy?
Because we were exposed to violence and loss our entire life. It is practically universal. For example, in the kids movie Up, there is a montage of the main character living life in a series of a couple of minutes. Within the first half an hour of the movie, children watching are exposed to events such as a miscarriage and death. And I do not know about you, but I cried during that scene in the movie as a child.
Every mention of death and suffering we have seen in media makes us feel closer and closer to experiencing that tragedy. Countless films portray mothers crying at the scene of their child's murder. Shows depict parents abusing their children. They give us emotions to something most of us have never experienced.
So what is the key difference between murder and LGBTQ+?
We are not constantly exposed to LGBTQ+ characters while growing up.
I grew up with princess movies where the star female character finds her male partner for life, and they both go on this romantic journey together. Shows and movies constantly confined genders to male and female by frequently using the phrases "you were just beaten by a girl!" or "man-up!" There was no gray between femininity and masculinity. There was nothing beyond girlfriend and boyfriend, husband and wife, mother and father, son and daughter.
Some day, I want to be in a world where LGBTQ+ is represented in—of course, all media—but especially children's shows. If I had a lesbian or bisexual icon to look up to growing up, I would have felt way more comfortable coming to terms with my sexuality. And along those lines, if we have a couple of great LGBTQ+ characters in the Pokémon community, the younger generation of Wattpaders can be desensitized to this group of people. Being a member of LGBTQ+ can finally be normal! And for the younger people living in environments that make non-heterosexualties abnormal or shameful, having these characters can legitimize how they are feeling and inspire them to pursue an identity that is both fitting and fulfilling.
This second step to writing about LGBTQ+ characters is recognizing the underlying reasons why you need to write about them, beyond the plot of your book. When you can understand and absorb that, it motivates you to go through with it. It gives you purpose and resolve.
THE RISE OF COURAGE
I want you to think of that core identity you identified in step one. Maybe that identity is female. Male. African American. Hispanic. Asian American. Evangelical Christian. Mormon. Muslim. Irish. Scottish. Indian. Italian. College athlete. Scholar. Waitress. Teacher. Writer. Reader.
I want you to think of a time where your identity conflicted with another's. Maybe someone questioned your identity. Maybe you questioned someone else's identity.
We have all have the capacity to be questioned and berated for an aspect of our identity; so with that said, you have a faint grasp of what homophobia can look like. Homophobia and transphobia are an attack on someone's LGBTQ+ identity. While the historical context may be different, there are parallels. Lutherans may berate Catholics and vice versa. African Americans may conflict with the state's police forces.
When you begin to imagine your role in your identity dynamics, you can begin to understand that oppression is universal. There is no unique form of oppression being applied to the LGBTQ+ community.
Maybe your family is Lutheran and your father is Catholic. Your Luthern grandmother does not want him to be at family reunions because of his religious beliefs. This is someone being alienated because of his Catholic identity.
Maybe your family is white European and your male cousin has a black girlfriend. Your family may not approve of his significant other and uninvite her from the reunion. This is someone being alienated because of her racial identity.
Maybe your family is Lutheran and your brother just recently transitioned from his female identity. Your family uninvites him from the reunion. This is someone being alienated because of his transgender identity.
My point is that in every case of an identity conflict, there are parallels in the tactics used to oppress someone. All of the cases above are scenarios that happen and exist. Anti-LGBTQ+ tactics are not some unique form of oppression that we have never seen in history before. Conversion therapy uses the same techniques as drill instructors use in basic training for military soldiers in order to convert trainees to a hyper nationalistic kind of thinking. Every group has its share of discriminatory names that are used to emphasize aspects that are not shared by the majority of society. The historical context of lynching of minority racial groups in the United States started with the British conquering and lynching Native Americans.
The third step to writing about LGBTQ+ is understanding oppression in terms of identity. If you can make the connections between the oppressive tactics used amongst various identities, you can begin to make sense of anti-LGBTQ+ methods—if you choose to write about them.
THE RISE OF GAY CHARACTERS AND CHARACTERS WHO ARE GAY
Yes, you do not have to write about oppression when writing about an LGBTQ+ character. Do not feel obligated to.
One of the beautiful things about the Pokémon world is that there are few depictions of discrimination. As far as the canon goes, there is no homophobia or transphobia. Can you write about oppression in the world? Of course. But do you have to? No.
This is where we get to the difference between a gay character and a character who is gay. This can also apply to other sexual orientations and genders, of course, but see if you can spot the difference.
Billy picked up a photo of him and his grandparents as he packed up his room. He was leaving to go on a Pokémon journey far, far away. He saw his grandmother and grandfather; he hadn't seen them since he came out to them years ago. He felt anger bubble up inside of him: why wouldn't they accept him? He put the photo in a bag that he intended to throw out later.
Billy picked up a photo of him and his grandparents as he packed up his room. He was leaving to go on a Pokémon journey far, far away. The photo was from a couple of summers ago when he visited them with his boyfriend. The memory made him smile. He placed the photo of the three of them into his suitcase. He wanted to remember them from time to time as he ventured through the gyms of Hoenn.
Both characters are gay, of course. However, Billy's gay identity is depicted differently.
The first description focuses on the emotions of being gay and homophobia. In that case, the author wanted Billy's homosexual identity to be the focal point of the book. His homosexuality is something that will be a continuing internal conflict.
The second description focuses more on Billy's identity as a trainer. The only indication of his sexuality was the mention of "boyfriend" in the third sentence. To a certain extent, a character who just happens to be gay can be more effective in normalizing LGBTQ+ characters in media because the character seems more embedded into an everyday life.
Both of these examples are ways you can incorporate LGBTQ+ characters in your book.
The fourth and final step to writing LGBTQ+ characters is understanding where on your character's identity spectrum is zir sexual orientation or gender located. This will help you in your quest to incorporate them into your narration.
THE RISE OF A LARGER AND STRONGER LGBTQ+ SUBCULTURE
I do not believe in epiphanies when it comes to oppression or minority rights. Changes in thinking do not occur within these transformative moments because transformation lasts longer than a moment.
You may not get this article at first, and that is okay. And maybe your questions were not answered by this article. In that case, I will be happy to answer them in the comments.
And sometimes, maybe you have to discover your source of identity before venturing into someone else's.
Who are you?
As an in-line comment, list 10 items, roles, or concepts that define you as an individual in the order of importance and passion.
One of the most important ways to gain insight on an identity is to talk with others with that identity. Hopefully, you can find others with the tools to foster your learning.