I am starting to think that maybe Lelron may have some issues. BIG issues. I mean, here I am, an adult stuck in an child body of a differen't species in another world and HE'S the one who seems to been having mood swings that could rival a hormonal teenage girl on her period. Seriously. One second he seems to be sternly telling me off for my language and the next he goes in to panic mode and tries to smother me in his ridiculously flowy robes. Then, when he is done trying to smother me to death, he is staring me straight in the eyeball and apologising like he just killed my cat. I think he needs help.
With little options - and no idea how to handle mentally disturbed elvish individuals - I merely give him a gentle pat on the forearm and awkwardly say "There, there". He immediately starts inspecting his sleeve like he has a map to a buried gold. Upon finding nothing he seems to conclude I am the one suffering from mood swings (true, but not relevant right now) and tries to frickin' patronise me.
"Yes, my gift, that is my sleeve". For a second my brain is fried by the absolute weirdness of that reply before I can chock out my retort.
"I was comforting you" I stated plainly giving him a strange look just so he could know how weird he was acting.
For a second he looked shocked, then strangely overcome with emotion as he once again holds me close and started whispering words into my ear. The promises of love got me back on track, however, and reminded me I had a lot to explain.
"Look -" I said calmly, "we need to talk". Lelrond does not so keen on this as shown by his attempt to distract me with more rocking and murmuring.. but I ain't gonna have it. Wait! Yes! I think I have a way to make him listen! Ok.... lets see how this goes....
"Owww!" I cry in a high pitched squeal, trying not to grin at my genius. Immediately I am held gently at a distance and inspected with great scrutiny. I can see quickly he cannot visually determine the source of my pain which hopefully will force him to actually communicate with me!
"My gift, what is wrong? Where does it hurt?" he asks quickly... success! Yes! although, admittedly now he looks rather worried. Ok, scratch that, he looks like I just announced I had cancer. Whoops!
"Ummm".. I start awkwardly trying to figure out what to say "It hurts when you don't listen to what I'm trying to say" I then give him a bit of a cheeky smile and he looks flabbergasted. Well, its kind of strange but at the min I think I would prefer a grumpy Lelrond to this clingy mess. However, his face soon melts into guilty sorrow and he holds me close again so no luck on that front.
"I am sorry, my gift. We will talk soon. However, first you must eat and rest" he tries to negotiate. Nice try bud, I used to do debating, you're gonna have to do a lot better than that!
"I've just been asleep and I will only eat once we've had a discussion!" I retort. Humph! At least he is no longer humming though... that, at least, is an improvement. Now all I need is some distance and, oh, you know, to be literally anywhere but here!!
"Urgh" I groan in frustration as he seems to conclude he can just IGNORE me as he turns away to speak to whoever the hell it is still in the room. I left my upper body flop back so I am hanging half upside down. Oh! At this angle I can kind of see who he's quietly muttering to.
"No freaking way! That's King Thranduil! And..... um... stunt elf number #46????". Apparently my hearing is still not 100% percent great as I missed elfy numero duo? two-o? Ok admittedly.... I know no Spanish.... Eep! I feel my back being forced upright by Lelrond's hand as he swings around so I'm now partially facing the new elves.
"You know of King Thranduil and..... Aelrindel?" he asks softly, looking at my curiously. Poor dude, he really has no idea what is going on. I kinda feel sorry for him.... or, at least I would if he wasn't so annoying right now.
"Du-uh! Well, not that last guy but I do know of King Thranduil. kinda. He's the King of the Woodland Realm, aka Greenwood, aka Mirkwood. He's ruled, for like, ages (literally) and has a son called Legolas. Like, I don't know too much about him, but he did turn his back on the dwarves awhile ago which, lets be honest, was a pretty dick move no matter how frustrating they are" I babble out.
I'm not sure if the elves are more shocked by my manner of speaking, the words I'm saying or simply the fact I can speak at all. Obviously elvish children do not have high standards, lucky bastards. It is strange though, cause I do remember reading online they are meant to be able to sing and dance by age one. Still, there was actually a description of what the elves constituted as dancing or singing so maybe they just screamed random sounI am starting to think that maybe Lelron may have some issues. BIG issues. I mean, here I am, an adult stuck in a child body of a different species in another world and HE'S the one who seems to been having mood swings that could rival a hormonal teenage girl on her period. Seriously. One second he seems to be sternly telling me off for my language and the next he goes into panic mode and tries to smother me in his ridiculously flowy robes. Then, when he is done trying to smother me to death, he is staring me straight in the eyeball and apologising like he just killed my cat. I think he needs help.
With little options - and no idea how to handle mentally disturbed elvish individuals - I merely give him a gentle pat on the forearm and awkwardly say "There, there". He immediately starts inspecting his sleeve like he has a map to a buried gold. Upon finding nothing he seems to conclude I am the one suffering from mood swings (true, but not relevant right now) and tries to frickin' patronise me.
"Yes, my gift, that is my sleeve". For a second my brain is fried by the absolute weirdness of that reply before I can choke out my retort.
"I was comforting you" I stated plainly giving him a strange look just so he could know how weird he was acting.
For a second he looked shocked, then strangely overcome with emotion as he once again holds me close and started whispering words into my ear. The promises of love got me back on track, however, and reminded me I had a lot to explain.
"Look -" I said calmly, "we need to talk". Lelrond does not so keen on this as shown by his attempt to distract me with more rocking and murmuring.. but I ain't gonna have it. Wait! Yes! I think I have a way to make him listen! Ok.... let's see how this goes....
"Owww!" I cry in a high pitched squeal, trying not to grin at my genius. Immediately I am held gently at a distance and inspected with great scrutiny. I can see quickly he cannot visually determine the source of my pain which hopefully will force him to actually communicate with me!
"My gift, what is wrong? Where does it hurt?" he asks quickly... success! Yes! although, admittedly now he looks rather worried. Ok, scratch that, he looks like I just announced I had cancer. Whoops!
"Ummm".. I start awkwardly trying to figure out what to say "It hurts when you don't listen to what I'm trying to say" I then give him a bit of a cheeky smile and he looks flabbergasted. Well, it's kind of strange but at the min, I think I would prefer a grumpy Lelrond to this clingy mess. However, his face soon melts into guilty sorrow and he holds me close again so no luck on that front.
"I am sorry, my gift. We will talk soon. However, first, you must eat and rest" he tries to negotiate. Nice try bud, I used to do debating, you're gonna have to do a lot better than that!
"I've just been asleep and I will only eat once we've had a discussion!" I retort. Humph! At least he is no longer humming though... that, at least, is an improvement. Now all I need is some distance and, oh, you know, to be literally anywhere but here!!
"Urgh" I groan in frustration as he seems to conclude he can just IGNORE me as he turns away to speak to whoever the hell it is still in the room. I left my upper body flop back so I am hanging half upside down. Oh! At this angle, I can kind of see who he's quietly muttering to.
"No freaking way! That's King Thranduil! And..... um... stunt elf number #46????". Apparently my hearing is still not 100% percent great as I missed elfy numero duo? two-o? Ok admittedly.... I know no Spanish.... Eep! I feel my back being forced upright by Lelrond's hand as he swings around so I'm now partially facing the new elves.
"You know of King Thranduil and..... Aelrindel?" he asks softly, looking at me curiously. Poor dude, he really has no idea what is going on. I kinda feel sorry for him.... or, at least I would if he wasn't so annoying right now.
"Du-uh! Well, not that last guy but I do know of King Thranduil. kinda. He's the King of the Woodland Realm, aka Greenwood, aka Mirkwood. He's ruled, for like, ages (literally) and has a son called Legolas. Like, I don't know too much about him, but he did turn his back on the dwarves awhile ago which, lets be honest, was a pretty dick move no matter how frustrating they are" I babble out.
I'm not sure if the elves are more shocked by my manner of speaking, the words I'm saying or simply the fact I can speak at all. Obviously elvish children do not have high standards, lucky bastards. It is strange though, cause I do remember reading online they are meant to be able to sing and dance by age one. Still, there was actually a description of what the elves constituted as dancing or singing so maybe they just screamed random sounds whilst spinning in circles like they are possessed by demons. Judging off Lelrond now, that would probably get an 'aw' and applause... or possible a smothering... who knows!
"By the way -" I continue whilst they are still too shocked to speak "-what has happened to my friends... the dwarves.... they better not be in prison cause I swear I will blow a casket if they are!" I cry, waving a menacing finger at the confused elves. They may not understand the phrase, but I think they got the meaning, cause they all quickly looked very patronising and a touch concerned.
"The dwarves...." Thranduil starts and then pauses for dramatic effect (*cough*dramaqueen*cough*) "...left some time ago and have since slain their dragon and reclaimed their mountain... with our help". Saying the last bit seemed to cause him physical pain, but hey, can't argue with results.
I pause for a second, unsure of what I know I have to ask next. Cause lets be honest, if any of those beautiful idiots I cam here with are dead, I'm gonna cry a river and basically consign myself to never leaving Lelrons arms ever...ever. Holding in my preparatory tears I managed to choke it out.
"The dwarves I came here with and the hobbit, there were 13 in total, do you know If all of them are so ok? Or did....". I leave the last bit hanging, not wanting to say the words.
"None have yet passed from this world that I know of." he seems to think for a second before continuing, "They are all alive and well". I cant help give a wet laugh in relief! They're ok! And the dragons dead and they reclaimed their home. And, as an added bonus, they don't seem to be at war with the elves!!!". Almost out of instinct I grab lelrond's sleeve and smile up at him, wanting to share my room.
He gives me a soft smile, and it almost -almost- makes me forgive him. Lol! He ain't getting off that easy!
"Ok then," I say firmly, looking him in the eye before staring at Thranduil as well for good measure and possibly backup. "We need to talk. About what's happened and about me". Seeing both their immediate resistance to that (more so Lelrond's, but also Thranduil, you're failing me bro!) I quickly tacked on to the end of my sentence "I'll eat whilst we talk and then the comfort the knowledge will give me will help me rest peacefully".
Hook. Line. Sinker.