Hi! Still going through Finals :( I ended up doing Alexander's POV as well, I just need to insert it somewhere. Don't worry, it won't take off the mystery or charm of it. Or reveal anything major.
Also, I never said Alexa was Alexander's mate. Y'all just assumed. Lol.
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Ignorance is one thing, oblivion is another...
To lack knowledge or to lack realization. What was it going to be with me? Either way, the truth was going to hit me hard and I wasn't ready for it.
Victoria jumped the moment Alexander started behaving seriously. I frowned. Desperately trying to ignore how hot I was getting by him growling in my face. His biceps bulging from his sleeves. The wrist on his watch glinting in the moonlight. His hands raked my hair and his breath fanned my face. He was angry. So deliciously furious. Pinning me up against the wall. I felt helpless. Withering under his clutch. My instinct howled at me to shut up and lower my eyes. Bow my head. I had no idea how on earth I was able to stare back at him.
Oblivion is a form of strength, but to what extent?
"hey, hey, stop!", Victoria started then halted a few feet from us, powerless, as if there was a virtual shield preventing her from coming closer, as if she knew she better not approach him, "Xander...", she half whispered, half scolded and his eyes bore into mine.
I didn't budge. For some reason, I respond to my attraction to Alexander with utter annoyance. Was I too prideful? I looked straight at him. Not this idiot. He couldn't possibly get to me. Dipping into the pit of my wit, I snarled back.
"I said wolves are the worst!", I repeated without so much as flinching, Victoria gasped dramatically, not because of my comment but mainly because I was ignorantly challenging death, Xander's eyes darkened, his gaze engulfed me like a tornado but I stood my ground, "It's the 21st century you prick, women can vote and voice their opinions" I pried at his fingers so he let go of my hair. He suddenly grinned at me.
I swallowed. That grin wasn't out of glee.
"Alexa, don't!", Victoria pleaded, "Xander, please just back off!...You know better!" She continued.
I am aware of the fact that Alexander was a massive man. Lean muscles. 6ft 6. He could crack my spine and toss me aside on the floor. Everybody was kind of weary of him. Victoria, whom, to this day, has never backed down from anyone, seemed to respect and bow her head to him when it came to serious situations. So that should have been clear indication to me, the outsider, to simply shut up and not flap my mouth in front of the big dog with the sharp fangs, but I somehow couldn't bring myself to back down.
That's right, I was prideful.
Pride is a sin, but my pride is my shield. I will not let myself get hurt.
I started squirming against the wall to free myself from his arms. Victoria was showing no apparent ability to come yank me away from him anymore.
He leaned in more towards my face. I didn't understand what he was doing but his ran his thumb on my lower lip and pushed down so my lips parted. He then slid his thumb in between my teeth and grazed my incisors like a vet inspecting a kitten' teeth.
"Dull, rounded canines..", he grinned, then pushed my chin down so my mouth opened, "Small jaw opening, little human looking down on wolves, couldn't do harm to one if you tried..." he looked at me, and I didn't understand much except he was making clear indications that I was no match for wolves, which was already damn obvious?
"That's what hunting rifles are for!", I growl back and Victoria was nearing a stroke. I squirmed again. He had his fucking finger in my mouth. I was tempted to bite down to show him that dull rounded canines were still canines but he pulled his thumb back and put his entire palm over my lips to shut me up. His eyes a storm of darkness.
"By all means, then, we'll call the wolf back in and hand you a rifle...", he said seriously and I frowned, "See how things go, hm?...", he smirked and I coughed against his palm. He was constricting my breathing. Muffled sounds coming out of my mouth as I was telling him to get off me.
I felt like I was going to start an asthma attack. Air wasn't going to my lungs and I didn't know if it was my airways contracting from anxiety or Alexander's hand.
Either way, I kind of needed my inhaler. It'd be cool if he let go of me too. I grabbed at his hands and started clawing at his fingers.
"Okay, that's it, knock it off!", Victoria inched closer and a low warning growl escaped his lips and my knees almost buckled at how incredibly arousing that sound was.
What the hell, snap out of it! He's literally acting like a mad dog. What's hot about that?
For heaven's sake! Lizard brain !
I tried to kick his leg but he blocked my foot with his thigh. The moment the tip of my toe hit his body, I knew that; had I gone at it full force, I'd have broken my own toes. Unlike kicking Markus in the legs, Alexander felt like a steel tower. He didn't flinch and instead grabbed my shoulders with some sort of idea in mind, until we heard a howl outside, Victoria and Xander both got alerted. Attentively, they eyed the glass door.
Victoria looked at Alexander, unsure. He threw his eyes back at me for a brief moment before letting go and grabbing his phone on his way to the door, leaving us quickly. Without another word.
I finally took a deep breath.
Victoria rushed towards the glass door. She realized Alexander locked it shut behind him as she yanked the handle with no success.
I sensed her distress but I didn't really understand the issue. It's a wolf. They howl. What's the deal? I breathed in and realized I was shaking.
Weirdest night ever.
"Victoria?", I called and she looked my way silently. She seemed upset at the howling outside and I walked towards her. I expected her to roar and bark at me for provoking Alexander but it seemed her focus was suddenly outside.
"Aren't you going to yell at me?", I asked and she gave me a small smile before hitting me in the head with a wooden spoon she picked up from the kitchen counter.
"Idiot!", she scolded and I rubbed my scalp like a child, "Alexa listen..", she suddenly spoke seriously and I lifted my eyes to meet hers, a fog of concern clouding them, "Xander is not...safe to be around..."
"safe" ? what the...she could've used so many words. Why that one?
I took one step forward to check if I could still walk properly. I've been through so many emotions in the span of half an hour. Met a wolf. It growled at me. Then smelled me. Then Victoria saved me and Alexander almost beat the shit out of me for some reason before insulting my canines for not being sharp enough.
"Since we're on the subject..", I wasn't going to miss the chance to ask this; at the Autumn festival, Jay was checking for a pulse on the guys Alexander knocked out, Victoria and Emily were scared, I noted that, I wanted to ask, why did they feel the need to check for a pulse? That's not a normal thing to do. Did Alexander have an occurrence before where checking for a pulse on the person he beat was needed? Did he almost kill someone before? I say "almost" because if he killed someone, he should be behind bars right? Then again, his dad is loaded and I believe freedom can be bought. It seemed farfetched but the way they acted around him was sketchy.
I didn't like that idea. I didn't want to believe it. Here I was, a few days ago, wanting to look for something bad about Alexander to break his charming image and now that something was finally sketchy. I didn't like it.
Weak willed little idiot.
"Why is he dangerous?...", I asked and I knew. I knew she wasn't going to tell me anything and I didn't mind at all. I could see the weariness and a slight hint of apprehension in her eyes. Whatever reasons she had to keep quiet. Maybe my own good was one of them. Maybe I was blissfully ignorant and she wanted me to remain that way. Maybe it was going to come back and bite me in the ass really hard later. But one thing was for sure: There's something I'm not aware of.
And another thing : If it's something bad, I don't actually want to hear it.
Is that stupid? If course it is. If it's something that'll tarnish Alexander in my eyes, I'd rather not know it.
Ignorance is bliss?...Pride is a sin...
Pride?
Did I develop pride for Alexander? Clearly he's the guy my heart chose, so he can't be flawed.
But he needs to be!..or else it's not realistic, or else I'm not being...my very own self. I'm not one to delude herself.
Do I want to stay in my cocoon and see him as perfect or do I want to break out of this chain?
"Just don't poke him anymore. He has incredible self control but that's not a guarantee...", she simply advised and I nodded.
Or else what?...I really wanted to know..and at the same time, I didn't.
Should I push him? Push it? How far?
Alexander's not easily triggered. And the few moments I managed to provoke him, I'd seen parts of him that scared me.
And with those last words, we decided to head to our rooms and crash for the night.
The next morning came about and for some reason; I woke up exited to see the wolf again.
I don't know what it was, maybe the light of the morning was soothing and everything seemed less dangerous. Don't get me wrong, I'm still not okay with the way Alexander handled the situation yesterday. I was exhausted and not mentally ready to be shoved in a giant beast's teeth. But this morning, I wanted to see it again.
I walked out of my room and made my way downstairs to the kitchen. Nobody in sight. I checked the time. It was 6:45am.
Okay, noted, Victoria isn't an early bird I guess. I walked over to the glass door to take a look in the backyard and see if I could spot the wolf again when I heard footsteps coming into the kitchen.
I turned around and spotted Jay coming towards the fridge, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers.
Okay, blood rush to the face. He was ripped to the gods. He stopped when he saw me then grinned. I turned my flushed face around to face the glass door.
What in the name of god is he packing? That has to be a sock. Don't look!
"Morning Alexa", he greeted and I tensed while he opened the fridge door.
"..And good morning to you Jay!", a metal bar had nothing on my stiffness. He chuckled at my robotic tone and reached for something in the fridge, whatever it was I wasn't looking.
Damn, I'm a rigid bitch.
"Do you happen to know where the wolf is?", I asked in hopes of seeming nonchalant and suddenly, a wide grin appeared on Jay's face. He looked at me kind of smug going to the counter and putting down the bottle of green liquid. He then tilted his head to one side and eyed me.
"Why are you looking for him?", he asked interested and I bit my lower lip.
I look like an idiot. I had a panic attack yesterday because of it and now I want to see it again.
"I don't know, I just didn't get a good look at it in the dark..."
I actually wanted to check if it was as big as it seemed yesterday because let's face it, it looked massive.
"You want to see him again? But you had a panic attack yesterday..", he inquired, taking a sip of his bottle.
"Yeah, It growled at me!", I justified and he frowned before crossing his hands across his chest.
"You raised your voice..", he explained sternly and I nodded.
Agreed. I did. It wasn't on purpose and it was stupid. I tried remaining calm but I couldn't help it.
"So I got a little jumpy, can you blame me?", I threw my hands up, "A predator and a prey in one room and Alexander was not helping.."
"Wolves don't prey on humans!", he attempted to justify and I shook my head.
Ohoho, that's funny!
"Not unless they're hungry and you're on their territory, they're not picky eaters...", I contradicted and he tried not to nod but I had a point so he did.
"So where is it?", I continued and he now was the one shaking his head.
"I'm not so sure Xander wants you near him anymore, not after the asthma attack you had.."
I stopped moving for a second.
Wait, Alexander sensed I was starting an Asthma attack yesterday? I presented no outside symptoms. It was just a feeling on the inside that could have evolved into a fully fledged attack but it didn't and he let go of me before I started to hyperventilate.
How did he...even know I had asthma? Also, how on earth did he gather it was from the wolf and not him having a hand across my face?
"I-um I just..", I stuttered, slightly out of it for a moment, "...I thought I would take a second look, it's not like I'm planning on hanging out with it...", I mumbled to myself and he smirked.
"You want to see it again ?"
"of course I do, it's a real live wolf!",I stressed every word and he leaned back for a second, considering my request with a smug grin.
It feels like everybody here is desensitized by it. But this is kind of a huge deal, for me at least.
"This isn't a zoo animal!" he informed and I rolled my eyes.
"It actually is..", I corrected and he suddenly frowned.
What, the local zoo has wolves in it. They don't let people near them of course, I had the chance to meet one face to face yesterday. It was cool, aside from being forcibly shoved in its snout. I'd rather it be with Victoria thought and not Alexander. It felt safer with her.
"I thought you said they were the worst!", he smirked and I rolled my eyes once again.
"I didn't really mean that..", I responded, "I was trying to piss him off, I didn't think he'd take it that hard.", I moved towards the sink to grab a glass.
"Take what hard?" Victoria walked into the kitchen. She was wearing a rose gold silk robe and bunny slippers. Her hair was in a side braid. She gave Jay a kiss on the lips before heading for the coffee machine.
"She wants to see the wolf again...", Jay half informed, half asked for permission and I looked at Victoria with curious eyes while she put a capsule in the machine.
"You had an asthma attack yesterday, Xander thinks it's the fur so he won't let you near it anymore..", she stated grabbing a mug from the counter and I frowned.
What the f..
"Xander's not my doctor, nor my dad or the boss of me!", I sounded like a five year old throwing a tantrum and she looked at me like a tired mom.
I get that it's his wolf, but come on!
"True", she tilted her head, "nevertheless, It's his orders and we kind of have to listen.."
I get it. They're worried about my health. It warms my heart. But it's also annoying. I know when my body's fine and when it isn't.
"It wasn't from the fur, it was the stress", I informed and she looked hesitant for a moment so I pushed even more, "Simba doesn't cause any allergic reactions to me. Let me see the wolf again, if I get an asthma attack, then I'll be sure I'm allergic to wolves as well, and I'll talk to my doctor about it too!", I was trying to make it sound medically beneficial but I really just wanted to see it again and the more they said no, the more I wanted to.
Come on! It's a wolf!! I'm such an idiot, I shouldn't have gotten so scared yesterday. I was just thrown in the situation. If Alexander had texted me "there's a wolf in the kitchen" after the "come downstairs" I'd have jumped out of excitement.
"Well, isn't he popular with the ladies..", Victoria suddenly looked at Jay annoyed and he grinned at her.
I didn't get it. But was that a yes?
"Was that a yes?", I asked and she sighted.
She was going to break!
"sure, whatever I guess it can't hurt!", she threw her hands up, "But if I see you sneeze or caught or breath heavily, you're out of the room!", she warned and I couldn't help the exited grin on my face.
Happy! Very!
Here I was. standing in front of her room. She told me to come up after breakfast so I did. I knocked once and I heard her talk inside.
"Come in !", she yelled from behind the door and I twisted the knob and opened the door.
Right off the bat, I saw it.
The huge, brown wolf. Sitting next to her bed. As it turned its head my way, I stopped and blinked for a second. An eerie feeling creeping into my stomach. It was strange. Hear me out : I felt like I locked eyes with Jay for some reason. It was familiar yet new.
But Jay wasn't even anywhere in the room. I couldn't quite explain it, their eyes were the same shade of grey. It only lasted for a mere second and I snapped out of it and walked in.
Victoria said it was docile. I trust her. It slowly wagged its tail and started sniffling my way.
I couldn't help the stupid smile that formed. How every girl behaves when she sees a four legged friend outside? Ask the owner if she can pet it, lean down, say "Hi" in an overly annoying baby voice and stroke its ears.
Although leaning down wouldn't be practical. I'd need to get on a stool to reach its head.
"How big is this thing?", I whispered, dumbfounded before stopping a safe distance from it, "it's a hybrid right?.."
"Kind of", she grinned and I slowly walked closer with my hands to my heart and a tiny smile.
Okay, despite the bulging muscles, the huge claws on the paws and sharp looking fangs, it was fluffy and adorable!
"Holy hell, it's an actual wolf!", I grinned at her and she chortled.
"I've never seen you grin so hard, are you that happy?", she asked and I nodded like a 5 year old, "Xander's going to be pissed..", she smoothed her hair and I shrugged.
"He shoved me in its face yesterday", I tried to reach but then stopped my hand and looked at Victoria, unsure, "can I actually touch it? Like is it safe?" I asked and she chuckled.
"Sure..", she stocked it's jaw and I reached for the same place her hand was touching.
For some reason, having Victoria here was more soothing than anything.
Oh my god, I'm touching a wolf! This is real!
Like a giant wolf! I was shaking.
I'm not sure a wolf can look amused, but this one sure did. It had so much personality too. It looked smart. Emotional intelligence. Somehow, it knew not to move. I could tell.
"What's your name, little guy?", I cooed like I was talking to a toddler and the wolf just kind of narrowed its eyes at me, it just stared at me from how tall it was. Sitting there like a smug little king of his own kingdom. Tail slowly wagging and eyes watching me. My hand in its fur didn't seem to bother it. Victoria twitched and started undoing her braid in the mirror like it was completely normal a wolf was in her room.
"Little?", she repeated, "there's literally nothing little about him..."
"Oh my god, this is unreal! ", I almost jumped in my place. I stroked its ears and it closed its eyes in anticipation and to probably avoid me poking it. Just like how Simba does.
This was really cool that she was doing this for me! This is the coolest thing i've done in my life. People owning big ass wolves. Like, it's sad but it's also really cool, I see the appeal.
Victoria came my way and put her hands on her hips.
"Is it male or female?", I asked and she almost choked when I started looking for genitals left and right and trying to go behind it. The wolf sat down completely and muzzle-punched me in the shoulder to get me away like I was some annoying tiny bug hovering around it. Victoria was now laughing for some reason.
What? What did I do? I was just asking basic questions. I'm also really exited and hyper active.
Best day ever !
"He's male", she smirked and I reached out with both hands to pet its head.
I could do this all day! Fur was so soft and fluffy.
"This is so cool!", I repeated, I don't remember the last time I was this happy, "Is he actually yours or Xanders?"
"We're still arguing over whom he belongs to!", she rolled her eyes, "He's supposed to be mine but Xander always hogs him!"
"The wolf knows he's yours, I can tell!", I smiled at her, the wolf was more calm and peaceful with Victoria in the room. Victoria was definitely the owner. Even thought you can't really own a wild animal.
"What's his name?", I asked.
"Jay.", she simply answered and I smiled.
"Hi Jay!", I tickled its chin and he wagged his tail faster at the mention of his name.
"You named it after your boyfriend" ,I laughed, before turning towards the animal and tilting my head while looking at his eyes, "call me crazy but it kind of looks like Jay somehow.."
I wanted to hug it so bad!
She kind of got taken aback by those words for a split second before coming closer.
"Alexa, you're like...really sharp and really dense at the same time.", she joked and I didn't get were that was coming from but it didn't matter because before I could ask her anything else about the wolf, the diet, the medical care, the permits..
The door of the room flew open and in came;
The one dog I didn't want to see this morning.